Merlin had to take a seat, his heart racing wildly. Every yell from the guards in the distance sent his pulse racing. What was Arthur doing? And why? Why was Arthur listening to a sorcerer about a plot to take a magical crystal out of Camelot's own vaults? Arthur Pendragon talking treason. Sure, it wasn't the first time Arthur had gone against his father… but never so blatantly, and never to aid the enemy side of the war on magic.
Merlin felt a surge of bitterness. Arthur was listening to this man spout about the crystal of Neahtid as if it were some kind of weapon, with arms crossed over his chest, taking this man seriously and considering his words. Merlin would have given anything to have Arthur's respect and attention for a minute and here comes this man out of nowhere with the child prophesised to kill Arthur, requesting a weapon and wasn't being thrown straight into the dungeon.
So much time protecting Arthur, saving his life countless times, throwing away his very dignity as a man just to stay by his side and it amounted to nothing. Merlin was still Arthur's servant. Nothing more. He was just pitied for what they were having to do to keep Uther happy. He couldn't be anything else. If he revealed himself to Arthur, he would be called a liar for keeping it secret so long.
"I hear what you're saying. You still ran a great risk bringing the child back to this place." Arthur said.
"I wanted to see Morgana." Mordred said and Merlin felt his heart squeeze in pity at the affection shining in Morgana's eyes.
Arthur looked pensive and Merlin half expected Arthur to send Alvarr to the dungeons for his next day execution. Instead, Arthur nodded. "Very well. I, not Morgana, will get the crystal to you." Arthur said.
Merlin took a deep breath that got caught in his throat and felt his magic lash out. Morgana gave a short scream as her wardrobe exploded from the inside out. Merlin closed his eyes, heart racing in panic, not even able to tell if his eyes were glowing or not.
"Merlin? Are you alright?" Arthur asked.
"I'm fine, I didn't get hit." Merlin said, as the wardrobe's debris had come close to him. When he finally felt safe that his magic was back in line, he looked at the wardrobe, pretending to be confused.
"Strange, was that you, Mordred?" Alvarr said and Merlin turned to them. Mordred was looking straight at him, able to know it was him.
"I got a bit scared. I thought I heard the guards." Mordred said and Morgana held him close. Merlin swallowed and looked at Arthur.
"Arthur, you do realise you've just agreed to commit treason against Uther." Merlin said.
"Don't you hate him for what he's done?" Morgana asked. Merlin took a deep breath again, the shame creeping up once more.
"It doesn't matter what I feel! He's your father, Arthur!" Merlin exclaimed. "You don't even know what this crystal is capable of!" Merlin said.
"We're doing this, because I want to find out." Arthur said and turned to Alvarr, extending his hand for him to shake. As Merlin saw them shake hands, more rage coursed through his body.
It wasn't until they were back in Arthur's room that Merlin finally spoke up again.
"Arthur, you can't be serious about committing treason against Camelot." Merlin said.
"You worry too much, Merlin." Arthur scoffed. Arthur looked at him so carefree that Merlin wanted to shake him until he saw things from Merlin's perspective.
"Worry too much? What is wrong with you? What if it's a trap? What if… the crystal is cursed and you die when touching it?" Merlin asked. Arthur turned to him then.
"Unfortunately, I don't have another sorcerer whom I trust, knowledgeable enough to give me advice on the matter." That hurt Merlin badly. He opened his mouth but the words got caught in his throat as he looked away, shaking his head. He had to get Arthur to see reason. This was too dangerous and they had no way of knowing what would happen. He couldn't risk it. No matter how much he wanted to confess right then. Instead of taking that big step forward, he had to take two back. There was no other way.
"How many times has magic hurt Camelot? Do you know? Because I've lost count." Merlin asked, without being able to look him in the eye. His heart ached with what he had to say next. "You know how evil magic can be." Merlin said, looking up at Arthur.
"So everyone that uses magic is evil? No exceptions?" Arthur demanded.
"Th-that's not what I said." Merlin insisted.
"Then there's no problem. We can give Alvarr the benefit of the doubt. That's all that will be said on the matter." Arthur said and walked to his desk. Merlin wanted to call him back, to tell him the truth and insist the other listen to him instead, but he didn't say that. For some reason Arthur wanted to see where this plan could go and it was too dangerous for Merlin to allow it.
Tonight, he would have to steal the crystal himself, before Arthur did. "It's already daybreak, shall I get your breakfast, my lord?" Merlin asked stiffly.
"Yes. Unless there's something else you wish say regarding this crystal?" Arthur asked without looking up from the scroll he was reading.
"...no, sire." Merlin said softly and saw Arthur clenched his jaw in a distinct way that showed he was angry.
"Then carry on." Arthur said, again without looking up at him. Merlin didn't want to leave. It didn't feel right. But he turned. He went for the door. He let it click shut behind him.
oOoOoOo
Arthur tried to calm down as Merlin left. He growled and threw the scroll to the side in rage. It relieved some of his anger but not all.
How much better could he have laid it out for Merlin? Why didn't he trust him? It hurt! He wasn't used to being hurt this way, specially not by Merlin. Was Arthur really that unreliable that the other couldn't find it in himself to tell him?
Of course he didn't trust Alvarr. The man used a child to try and manipulate Morgana into committing treason. He wasn't a fool. But had been wrong. He'd thought Merlin would for sure tell him that he has magic. Instead, the idiot went into a full anti-magic speech that would have almost made Uther proud.
He shouldn't be surprised. Merlin seemed to be all about self-deprecation when it came to protecting Arthur but… this wasn't protecting Arthur. In fact, by Merlin not confessing, he was letting Arthur walk into a potential trap.
He groaned, rubbing his head. He wasn't used to… sneaking around the truth. It made his head hurt. It made his heart hurt for some reason too. He was more used to honesty, speaking plainly and fighting fairly.
So now what was he going to do? Later on he would speak to Morgana, forge a plan. She seemed far too eager to erase their father off the map but they had to be smart about it.
Merlin returned, holding a tray of food, looking nervous at him. "What's wrong?" He asked.
"You seem… angry." Merlin said, setting the tray down.
"Now why would I be angry?" Arthur asked with a light tone, sarcastically. Merlin rose an eyebrow and picked up the scroll Arthur had just thrown against the wall and set it down beside him.
"I don't know…" He said softly. The idiot looked so clueless. Clearly it didn't even cross his mind to confess to him. It made him so angry but seeing that wounded look in Merlin's eyes instantly made that anger fizzle out of him and he reached up, pulling the other toward him, pulling Merlin down onto his lap, causing him to give a short yelp of surprise.
"Kiss me." Arthur ordered.
"N-now?" Merlin asked, shifting uncomfortable on Arthur's lap. Arthur placed his hand on Merlin's thigh, giving him a reassuring squeeze.
"Kiss me." He said once more, softer, watching the worry melt from Merlin's face and a smile just about begin to form, before he leaned in and kissed him deeply. Kissing Merlin was starting to feel like getting a blast of fresh air every time that made him sigh softly, reaching up to cup the other's neck as he kissed him slowly, longingly. He would give anything for Merlin to trust him.
"Eat your breakfast." Merlin finally said, pulling back and getting back on his feet.
"It's too much, share it with me." Arthur said. Merlin used to complain about it, but knowing it was a lost cause, simply sat down beside him, getting half of what Arthur was eating. Of course, the warlock would always get him double portions now.
oOoOoOo
Merlin took the empty plates to the kitchen, greeting the new kitchen servants, all male, strangely enough, but all looking very eager to please the cook, who looked on like a strict mother hen, barking instructions here and there. They greeted him politely and Merlin left, making his way to Gaius' chambers when a blur of blue slammed into him, making him groan.
He grabbed the short form's shoulders and held him at arm's length. Blue eyes made his blood freeze. "Mordred?!" He whispered horrified.
It was bright, sunny daylight and here was Mordred, running about the halls of the castle. He was supposed to have left with Alvarr!
oOoOoOo
Uther walked with his lords down the hall, discussing a treaty that was up for question when something disturbing caught his eye.
Outside, Arthur and Morgana were walking closely. Their arms were linked and they seemed to be having an innocent stroll about the snow covered gardens. They seemed to be speaking in hushed tones, heads leaning close despite there not being anyone around to hear them.
They laughed together and Uther's blood ran cold. He felt sick. He couldn't let them fall in love. That would be disastrous! He had worked so hard to favour Morgana, enticing Arthur's jealous streak to get him to hate her ever so slightly. Enough to be civil but not enough to push Morgana to leave the castle.
Pushing them afar just enough to stop them considering each other potential matches for marriage.
Now this was happening? He kept walking, sending his lords away, making his way down to the gardens. That's when he saw that serving boy, standing on the corridor with a young boy that looked just like him.
"You! Boy!" He shouted and Merlin paled a pleasant shade that made Uther feel powerful. "Who is this child?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at Mordred, who hid behind Merlin, peeking out his eyes at him.
"He-He's my um… brother." Arthur's manservant said, reaching back to place his hand on the top of the boy's head.
Uther thought the boy looked familiar, but considering he looked just like Arthur's manservant, he didn't bother trying to think of an alternative explanation.
"Leave family reunions for a time when you're not working." Uther said coldly.
"Oh, A-arthur gave me the morning off, sire." Merlin said.
"Well I'm cancelling that! I'm giving you a very specific job this time, boy. I need you to bridge a gap between Arthur and Morgana. They can never be alone together. I'll not have my son corrupting my ward." Uther said.
Merlin's eyes widened. "O-of course, sire. Right away." Merlin said and pulled his younger brother along.
"Oh, and make sure you take the boy with you. Perhaps having a child around will deter them from closeness." Uther said and threw a coin at Mordred that the boy caught. "I'll assign the mission to you too young man."
The boy bowed his head and let himself get pulled away by his older brother.
oOoOoOo
"Oh god… what are we going to do?" Merlin whispered, sliding down the wall, holding his head in his hands.
"Wow, it's gold." Mordred said distracted, admiring the golden coin as it reflected the light of the winter sun.
How could things be getting so out of control? The fact that Uther thought Morgana and Arthur were falling in love was laughable, but he didn't understand why it would bother the king so much.
To make things worse! Mordred had a job! In the castle! Merlin wanted to rip his hair out right now. "What are you still doing here?" Merlin demanded, looking at Mordred as he pocketed his coin happily.
"I… I don't trust you. You're going to convince Arthur not to get the crystal." Mordred said.
"How long have you even known Alvarr? How do you know you can trust him?"
"A couple of moons… he saved me from starving in the forest." Mordred said.
"How do you know he won't kill hundreds of people with that crystal?" Merlin asked.
"He won't kill anyone who has magic." Mordred said with a pout.
"What about everyone else?" Merlin pushed. Mordred looked away.
"People with no magic… they've killed many of us… they deserve to suffer." He said softly, looking sad. Merlin knelt before him.
"No, they don't. Mordred, if we start hunting down non-magic folk… that will make us just as bad as those that have hunted us. It will never end the circle of death. One person would die, their loved ones will seek vengeance and on and on it goes." Merlin said.
"But… Alvarr said we can't just roll over and die just because they say so!" Mordred said.
"And neither are we going to do that. We are going to grow strong in secret, until Arthur is king and he brings magic back to the land of Albion." Merlin said and Mordred didn't look up at him. "Does Alvarr want to attack Camelot with the crystal?" Merlin asked softly.
"… I don't know." Mordred mumbled. Merlin sighed and stood up.
"Come on… we have a job to do little brother." Merlin said, pulling him along. As expected, Arthur and Morgana were simply discussing the crystal. Both of them nearly had a heart attack when they saw Mordred walking with him. Once he introduced him as his little brother, they all relaxed. Specially when they realised the king had been the one to find them first.
Mordred smiled brightly at Morgana. Merlin hated to admit it, but the boy was rather sweet once he actually got time to know him.
oOoOoOo
Merlin woke up deep at night and pulled back from Arthur, finding his clothes and putting them back on, sneaking to Arthur's drawers and taking out the vault keys. He slowly made his way to the door.
oOoOoOo
Arthur heard Merlin leave and sighed. It was getting too easy to sense Merlin's movements. Always in a panic that his magic would go off or that he would try and sneak around him, Arthur had developed his instincts to wake him, same as they did in the forest when any little sound could snap him out of sleep.
Arthur waited for the door to close before sitting up and getting dressed. He didn't have to follow Merlin too closely. He knew exactly where he was going by looking at which set of keys was missing.