Summary: Sometimes Ioz thought his shipmates had to be the biggest fools on Mer.
Disclaimer: The Author would like it known that he does not own "Pirates of Dark Water" and any and all associated characters and situations, only using them for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.
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"What Is Love"
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'
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He wasn't the kind of person to call anyone a friend, but they were his shipmates and maybe that term was enough, Ioz had long decided. If you couldn't trust and consider someone a friend, you had no business sailing with them, after all. The problem was that they were also idiots and blind ones as well.
As quickly as they had recovered the first eight Treasures of Rule, it was taking much longer to discover any trace of the final five; all the while with Bloth on their heels and the threat of Dark Water looming, what had been accomplished for eight in only two years was approaching its third for five. A total of five years in which Ioz had the time to confirm his opinions of Tula and Ren as blind idiots, too blind to see what was in front of them even - or especially - if they were looking in a mirror. Looking at each other, too, for that matter. It was bad enough that even the monkey-bird knew what they hadn't figured out over the years, that the Crown Prince of Octopon and the mysterious Ecomancer were so in love with each other that it was almost comedic.
That or tragic, the pirate wasn't sure which, just because if they weren't blind, they were actually deliberately ignoring it. That was a whole different kind of idiocity as far as he was concerned. Ioz himself was not blind, even if most of his own relationships in his life had been short-term - even overnight - ones with barmaids in port-towns throughout the Twenty Seas. The two of them called it 'friendship', called it 'trust', called it everything but what everyone knew it to be. He knew why they did nothing, they got ahead of themselves, thinking of when the voyage would end and Ren would have to become King of Octopon and Tula leader of the Ecomancer tribe, thinking it would force them to separate. So the idiots took what Ioz thought of as the easy course and did nothing, thinking to themselves that if they weren't together then they wouldn't have to separate, and both of them too big of idiots to consider the obvious fact that there was nothing on Mer, in blue water or Dark, that would be willing to risk trying to separate them if they were the heroes that saved the world from Dark Water.