They'd just landed in L.A. and Artie, who had the window seat by Kitty, shot her a bemused expression once more. She just smiled and shook her head, pretending not to notice.
The whole joke had started hours earlier when Kitty, who had not really been used to getting up this early and who ended up leaving without coffee that morning, asked him a dumb question. They'd all been sitting there, nobody really talking much, on account of how early it was, as they were waiting to board.
She'd leaned over to Artie. "How do you get on the plane?" she'd asked him, looking mystified, as it had literally just occurred to her.
Artie had raised his eyebrows, apparently very surprised to be getting this question from her, and then he'd given her an amused expression, seemingly quite charmed by the fact that she hadn't done what most people might do by now.
"You seriously didn't google this?" And he'd grinned. "Don't. You're better off not googling stuff. There's this skinny aisle chair they'll bring me. It's totally fine, don't worry."
As they waited for the aisle chair once more, so Artie could get off the plane, everyone else started standing and stretching their legs, talking and taking luggage down from the overhead compartments.
"You guys go on ahead," Artie told them. "I have to get off last, and we cannot risk losing the suitcases with all of the costumes."
Mr. Schuester agreed to this, as Burt and Carole hung back with Kitty and Artie. Nearly a half hour later, they were able to deplane, too, and once Artie was back in his chair, which had been waiting for him at the gate, they took off to find the others. Sam was the only one still waiting for them at baggage claim.
"Got your suitcases," Sam said, passing Artie's and Kitty's to them, and giving Burt his and Carole's. Artie rather resourcefully had found a way to hook his rolling case to the back of his chair, and off they went, to catch up with the rest.
"We'll take the green line shuttle to the metro station," Mr. Schuester was saying. "And, from there, we board a bus and head straight to our hotel in Santa Monica. Now, this does put us a little farther away from where we'll compete tomorrow, but on the school's budget, it was the best we could do."
"The school's budget?" Tina laughed at that. "Don't you mean what's left of the money from Sugar Motta's parents and the scholarship money they gave us for winning Nationals last year?"
Mr. Schuester looked a bit sheepish. "Not entirely," he admitted. "I had to ask for an allowance from Sue to cover everything."
"And, let me guess, there's a catch, right?" Marley asked, folding her arms across her chest and giving Jake a worried look over her shoulder.
Mr. Schuester ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah," he admitted. "There's a catch. I didn't want to tell you this, but I might as well come out and say it. If we don't win at Nationals, she's cutting all our funding. And, now that she's principal, she can do that. I don't have Figgins to run to anymore."
"She said it's because the Cheerios won Nationals this year," Amanda said, looking at Sarah and China. "That's what Coach Roz told us, anyway."
The three Cheerios whom Sam had rounded up to dance with them, giving them twelve members, barely showed up to rehearsals and always kept to themselves. Kitty found it hard to trust them, given that she knew they all hung out with Bree, from time to time. They probably just wanted the free trip to L.A., but on the plus side, they were excellent dancers.
"Yeah, she also said it's not her fault," Sarah added. "The school board and the superintendent are both pressuring her to allocate the budget differently and to just support winning teams."
"That's ridiculous," Blaine argued. "As though placing at Nationals wouldn't be good enough to make us a winning team."
Kitty already knew what Blaine was worrying about. He'd been sitting one row behind she and Artie on the plane, reading them comments from the high school show choir blogs he followed online. He'd heard about a team for Fort Wayne called Throat Explosion that the blogospheres favored to be the winner this year. The New Directions was currently predicted for second or third.
"Guys, don't let this break our focus," Sam said, clapping his hands together. He then reached into the duffel bag on his shoulder and pulled out Finn's plaque, the one Rachel had made for the choir room, which usually hung next to Lillian Adler.
"Why do you have that?" Burt asked, putting his arm around Carole protectively.
"Because I wanted us to remember he's with us," Sam said, as Carole teared up. He carefully tucked the plaque back in his duffel. "And, in the words of the great Finn Hudson, the show must go all over the place or something."
"Oh, it will," Unique said, examining a display of colorful brochures for tourists. "Hey, check these out. We should grab some for the bus and figure out what we're going to do with our time here."
"With whatever time we have left after we check into the hotel," Will corrected. "Which, with any luck, will be enough time to do something and still get a good night's sleep before Nationals. Oh, look, here comes the shuttle, guys."
They all managed to fit into one, with Artie rolling himself on last. He and Kitty huddled together to flip through one brochure, Tina's senior trio shared another, the three Cheerios had another, the four other sophomores had one more, and Will looked on with Carole and Burt
"Burt's taking me to Santa Monica Pier," Carole said, smiling lovingly at her husband. "There are lots of great restaurants and, with any luck, we'll get a chance to ride the big Ferris wheel."
"You guys, this looks fun," Ryder said, holding his brochure up. "Hop-On, Hop-Off Bus Tour. It's a double-decker bus tour. You even get to see celebrity homes. It takes you to Hollywood, L.A., and Santa Monica Pier."
"Is it accessible?" Kitty asked, innocently. She didn't expect the elbow jab she'd gotten from Artie, over the question. The others, however, all seemed to be looking to Artie to answer that one. (All except for the three Cheerios, who just ignored the rest of them, with the one exception being Sam and sometimes Blaine.)
After hesitating, Artie replied, "Marginally."
"What does that mean?" Jake asked.
"It means part of the bus is accessible," Artie explained, sounding a bit reluctant. "I studied up on different attractions a little online before we left. The top part, the part you'd want to be on, isn't. Even if you guys carried me up there, it wouldn't work. Without my chair, I'd go sliding all over the place if I tried to sit on the benches. And plus, there's lots of stopping to get on and off. Not exactly a hop on, hop off situation for me."
"Oh, sorry," Ryder blushed. "Um..."
"No, but you guys should go!" Artie insisted, almost too enthusiastically. "Really! I'll be fine, I um... I'll go with Burt and Carole to Santa Monica Pier."
"Oh, um, well sure, Artie, we'd be happy to have you join us," Burt said, a little too enthusiastically himself, clearly trying hard not to let it show that he meant just the opposite.
"You guys, this tour is like fifty dollars for a ticket," Kitty suddenly pointed out, after she'd studied her brochure a bit more closely. "And the tickets are good for 24 hours, so ideally, you'd need at least a full day to get your money's worth."
"Oh," said Ryder, with a shrug. "Well, okay, no biggie. So the bus tour is out. I mean, we are in Santa Monica though, so should we check out this pier?"
"I've been there," Unique added, and it made sense that she'd been to L.A. before. No one else had though. "Pacific Park's got, like, a rollercoaster, the giant ferris wheel..."
"How's the accessibility at Pacific Park, Artie?" Tina wanted to know. Kitty, who didn't usually side with Tina for obvious reasons, was kind of appalled by Artie's response to her concern.
"Fine, it's fine," he said, shortly.
"What's your problem?" Kitty wanted to know, as soon as the shuttle stopped to let them unload. She'd leaned over to ask the question in his ear as he wheeled himself off the shuttle and onto the paved path, the last to unload.
Artie sighed, pivoting to face her. "I didn't want accessibility to be the deciding factor, okay?" he said, shrugging his shoulders. "After all these years, when I'm in a big group like this, I just try to go with it and hope for the best."
Kitty rolled her eyes. "It's not the deciding factor," she told him. "The tour is fifty dollars a piece and you need a whole day to do it. Don't be rude to me for sticking up for you, and while you're at it, don't be rude to Tina either."
Kitty then made her point by marching over to Tina and standing near her. When the next bus arrived, Artie had to use a lift to get on. By the time he'd been loaded, Kitty had seated herself between Marley and Tina. She made a face at him, from across the bus. He tried to look unbothered by the fact that he was sitting alone, grabbing a book out of his backpack instead and opting to read.
The trip on this bus turned out to be an hour long. Kitty regretted her choice to be snippy with Artie, and she also regretted the decision to sit between Tina and Marley, of all people. She couldn't figure out a single thing to say to either them that wasn't boring, awkward small talk. Well, okay, that wasn't entirely true. She could think of plenty of good insults.
By the time they'd reached the hotel, it was way past lunchtime, so everyone was hungry. And confused, of course, by the time change that put them two hours behind Ohio time. They still had to check in, which was going to take awhile, for fifteen people. Mr. Schue suggested just ordering pizza to the rooms, and everyone was too tired to argue with that idea.
They waited in a long line as Mr. Schuester talked to the hotel concierge. Kitty was at the back of the line with Unique when the doors flew open, a lone figure stepping inside in sunglasses and a fabulous outfit, carrying what appeared to be a small dog.
"Don't look now, but I think someone famous just came in!" Kitty exclaimed.
"Even better," said Unique, smirking and clicking her teeth. "It's Mercedes Jones!"
"I was hoping you'd make it!" Tina cried out, as they all hurried to greet her, and gave Mercedes the first of many hugs.
"Are you kidding, I wouldn't miss this for the world!" Mercedes exclaimed.
"I heard that you got a record contract!" Unique gushed. "Because either Usher, Kelly Clarkson, or Michael Jackson's daddy bought your album in a 7-11 parking lot."
Mercedes smiled as she launched right into the story. "I was selling my CD, 'Hell 2 the No,' in a parking lot. Now, I ain't gonna lie, business was wack. But then this Mexican lady bought one. I think she felt sorry for me. Turns out, that Mexican angel on earth was the housekeeper to Kanye West. She gave it to Kanye, who gave it to Kim, and she gave it to Ryan Secrest. Next thing you know, I'm sippin' Perrier with a bunch of rich dudes."
"Hold up," Artie interrupted. "Is that dog alive?"
"It's a faux-huahua," Mercedes said, holding him out proudly. When they continued to stare blankly at her, she elaborated. "A fake chihuahua."
Tina laughed. "Mr. Schue!" she yelled, waving their teacher over. "Mercedes is here!"
Mr. Schuester looked away from the desk for a moment to call out a quick "Oh, hey, Mercedes," then went back to trying to straighten things out.
"That looks serious," Mercedes commented, before turning her attention back to the rest of them. "So, guys, welcome to lovely Santa Monica. You picked a great location, lots to do around here..."
"We'd love for you to join us, Mercedes," Sam said, moving through the crowd.
There was a moment that almost went unnoticed between these two, as they saw each other for the first time in awhile, but Unique, seemingly an expert in all things romance, turned her back so that only Kitty could see as she mouthed "They're so cute!"
"We're ordering pizza for lunch and then, after we unpack our costumes and make sure they're all pressed and ready for tomorrow, we're headed to Pacific Park," Tina explained.
Mr. Schue interrupted just then to pass out room keys. "Okay, sorry guys," he said. "There was an issue with the rooms. We've got two rooms for our seven ladies. But, for our five guys, six including myself, we've just got one room. We were supposed to have two for the guys. I'm not sure how that works, with Artie..." he trailed off.
As all eyes were on Artie, yet again, Kitty was more than a little sorry she'd given him a hard time about being so sensitive before.
"It's okay..." Artie started to say, again, but this time, Mercedes cut him off.
"Artie can stay with me," Mercedes said, suddenly, holding up her credit card. "And I'll make sure they get me an accessible room. What, you thought I just came by to say hello and brag about breaking into the biz? I'm checking in, y'all!"
Artie's shoulders dropped as he let out the breath he'd apparently been holding. He laughed and reached up to give Mercedes an appreciative hug.
As they headed towards the elevators to wait, Kitty put a hand on Artie's shoulder to stop him. "I owe you an apology," she said, as he turned to look at her.
"Huh?" Artie replied, looking mystified. "I was going to apologize to you, when I got the chance. Tina, too. I shouldn't have been rude to you both earlier. Sorry... I get a little anxious whenever I travel."
"Uh, no, you have every right to be anxious," Kitty said. "I'm really sorry, I guess I should google stuff every now and then, because I had no idea."
"No!" Artie said, quickly. "No, don't do that. I mean, I just wouldn't know what to do with a girlfriend who was suddenly all sensitive and understanding..."
His little jab did not go unchecked. She crossed her arms across her chest and smirked at him. "So, do you think Mercedes is a light sleeper?" She leaned closer to his ear. "'Cause I could come over and we could find out."
She let that last comment linger as the elevator dinged loudly, visibly startling Artie, who seemed to be trying to process the imagery she'd just left him with.