Warning! This is going to get steamy. Warning!

"Attention!"

The trainees snapped, heels together, backs straight, and chins parallel to the ground. The unmerciful sun had yet to reach peak. The drill instructor, Keith Shadis, walked along the lineup. Others resisted the urge to rub their eyes. You had the longest night's sleep since the fight against Nero. "Why are you smiling?!" The instructor stopped to face you down. "Are the deaths of millions amusing to you? Someone write something on my forehead?! Someone wrote one on yours it is a big fat 'L' in cursive lettering!"

"Sorry, Sir."

"What are you apologizing for maggot!"

"No disrespect. The 'L' in elvish Leerwster wrote on your forehead, sir."

You tried your best not to laugh. Instructor Shadis turned to a timid looking girl, "Is there a fucking 'L' here?!"

"I can't read elvish, sir."

He spat with every syllable, "Shitty nerds! Leerwater, drop-down give me twenty, Milkah! Drop-down give me forty! Anyone else wanna be funny?!" He turned to the girl, "What am I good at, Golf or basketball?"

"Basketball?"

She was wrong and had to do push-ups. He made rounds like this and soon, everyone was on the ground doing push-ups.

You got to the lunch line and a kid wouldn't walk forward. "What the fuck are you standing here for?"

"I'm waiting on a blueberry pancake, sir. You can go around"

The kid was known as Berry Cake from then on. Socializing was the hardest part of training for you. When they set up training harnesses for the ODM gear, you started swinging on it. 'Course you got smoked afterward for having fun. You were picked on more often than not for being unusually quiet all the time. But the world had never seemed so peaceful. Nero was gone, you were training to join the scouts, and Levi was alive.

The timid girl wasn't exactly timid, turns out. She also said some pretty dumb stuff. The DI made her carry around a plant to 'replace all the oxygen' she took up.

The time came to use the ODM gear. You launched, arched, and sliced multiple faux titans made of wood. The assistant Sargent was amazed. You figured the trick to Levi's reverse dual wield. The rest of the recruits looked up to you calling you, "Sister Levi". You were, in truth, a little shorter than him and twenty-five at age. But your skills exceeded his records in the training camp. Mostly because you had had the experience before entering. Keith took to you favorably. One day you had woken up exceptionally early to find two bunkmates out of bed. They were sneaking food. Instead of joining, you decide to prank them. When they got back to their beds, they found it empty. No sheets, no mattress, no pillows. Just an empty bunk frame. They freaked out. Sargent lined all of you up, "Freeman Sigle! Thornton Fishhers, where are your beds?!"

The prospect was amusing. Before you knew it, you were at the top of the graduating class. You had an opportunity to join the innermost wall. Although it was tempting, you declined. "I would be honored to join the scouts," You smiled.

Levi was put to the task of lining the fresh meat as Captain. Before that, he heard stories from the camp.

"Levi meets Levi," One joked.

"Female Levi VS Male Levi, who will win? I'd kill to see that."

"You think she would fight him?" Another popped up at the breakfast table. Captain Akerman was intrigued. Keith himself had sent a report about the special recruit. None of them gave a name. Levi would just have to find her.

Two blocks of fresh faces stared into nothing while Captain Levi introduced the current squad leaders. The plain courtyard was flat and surrounded by arches. He scanned the crowd. Hanji stood to give her words as Commander of her section. A pair of eyes shifted. He locked on the movement. He almost gasped from surprise. Almost. He became certain that his mind was messing with him.

There were innumerable introductions. Hanji had permitted Alcoholic drinks because 'alcohol in moderation is good for humans'. Samuel Leerwster had gone and blabbering to everyone talking about you declining the inner ring of the walls. That was your cue to slip out. You found that you didn't like attention as much as you thought you would. You walked down a tall hallway flooded with sunlight in geometric patterns. The structures inside the wall never ceased to amaze you. Their architecture was a marvel. The familiar sound of a spoon to porcelain clinked. Running down the hallway, you passed an open door. You ran back to the open door, supporting yourself with the doorpost. There he was all alone. He looked up from the cup.

Levi was looking at a ghost. He couldn't help staring. "Well, cadet?"

He had accepted that the newly recruited scout shared a striking resemblance to his Ranger. His heart recognized the presence, yet the mind overpowered in will. The new recruit didn't correct their stance when walking to him, "Walk befitting a Scout or you go back to training at daybreak."

You realized his denial. In a sweet voice, you cooed and sat on the table. "Smells like Jasmine tea."

"Get off the table," Captain Levi stood up furiously. It had been a very long time since you saw him angry and it was cuter than last. You hopped off, "Nice to meet you, Captain, the other recruits call me sister Levi."

The short man was ready to beat obedience into the cocky mouth runner. He walked in an unbreakable stride. You grabbed hold of his cravat and reversed your positions. (What was it with Akerman and their fancy collars? They are glorified attack dogs.) He was against the wall, "What the-"

You smiled, "I'm going for world domination, Captain, starting with conquering you."

There was no doubt left in the Captain. He wrapped his arms around your shoulder, forcing your face to his. You let go of his cravat and meshed your bodies together. The kisses demanded a closeness. One after another, growing more desperate. The intensity sent your head reeling. Levi tasted of the bitter unsweetened Jasmine tea. On his part, he felt as if you were the bottle and he needed to get drunk. He gasped for glimpses of oxygen before drowning deeply back to his pacemaker. His hands gripped your silky hair. His mind felt intoxicated with comfort. Your hand pulled his back colliding his abdominal muscles against your own. He stepped forward. Your butt hit the table. Levi slowly sunk into the glowing embers of his memory, recalling the time he thought he lost you. His thin lips pressed softer as the seconds past then. He stopped to re-evaluate the situation. The door was still wide open. He rolled his eye and planted a long kiss on your forehead. "At ease, cadet."

He panted, "Levi is your name then." He was amused. "Sure it's not chicken."

"Same thing, yeah? Both go: Baka Baka Baka Baka~"

Levi grabbed the collar of your shirt, dragging you to the door. He closed it and planted you there. "You just called yourself a chicken, thought you were more clever than that, Ranger."

"Vise versa too, Rooster."

He began kissing you again, "Reckless-" He kissed your kneck, "Kamikaze-" He kissed your cheek, "Freak-"

You giggled, returning a kiss to his nose, "I didn't die, did I?"

"Tch, I was damn sure you did." His forehead leaned against yours creating a shadow. "It hurt so bad. How do others tolerate this? Loving so much."

You pecked his mouth, "I call it an emotional investment. A dependant where no one has to carry their emotional baggage alone."

You pulled in for another kiss. Levi stepped away, combing his hair, adjusting his necktie. He blew out a sigh, "Well, I guess this complicates things. You are actually a part of the military now, congratulations Ophelia. Pass go, collect 200, and claim the name Juliet. You died, didn't, and are going the same direction all for Romeo."

You hit your forehead. "Mh, great going me." You saluted, arms in respective place. "I'd offer my heart, but you've already got it, Captain Levi."

He smirked, "Stupid brat. Don't worry, I'll go hard on you."

"You already are."

You blushed at your comment. Nice going.

"You're going to pay for those words, Titania."

He got close again. His breath tickled your ear, "Start cleaning."

And he wasn't kidding. Oh, were you expecting something else? Well, don't worry, you'll get your wish. You were put to scrubbing the floors. The others joined you in the morning. Since both of you were a custom to staying up, there was no problem. Levi enjoyed watching. His three favorite things were in the room. Tea, cleanliness, and you. "You may be given the title 'Levi' but I am the 'OG' unmatched in cleaning abilities."

"Watch it, Captain," You cautioned him, "I learned a few things back in camp. My barracks were never punished for bunk inspections."

"Talking back may have suited the Ranger, but it gets you to the ground here. This is my domain. I am one of the most revered figures here. My word is law."

You stood up, dropping the scrub brush into the bucket. You take off a glove and sit in Levi's lap. "There's a crumb right here," You brush it off. He grabbed your wrist. "Touch me again and you'll be running laps around the building till you collapse in the dirty mud. Then you will have to shower off with the hose before stepping on my clean floor."

"Wow, softie."

"Clap pushup it is."

"Fine," You get in plank position. "Wait," Levi couches down in revelation, "Even better yet."

Hanji skipped up the stairs. She had a total of thirty minutes of free time. She hit the time lottery. There were noises from the upstairs study. As she approached, the noises were clearer. Grunt, clap, grunt, clap, "Keep up, you're doing great. Fifty more to go. Then you'll have sweat to mop up."

Grunt, Clap, "Next time, I will be on top."

"You aren't the captain. Who's the Captain?"

Grunt, Clap, "You- are," Huff

Grunt Clap, "Who's shorter?"

Clap, "Me,"

Clap, "Can't hear you." Clap, "The words on this book are louder than you."

Grunt, Clap, "I am."

Pause, Clap, " 'I am' what?"

Clap, Huff, "I! am, sir!"

"You are what?" Clap

"Short-" Clap, huff.

"Complete sentences, smart-ass cadet!" Pause

Huff, Clap "I am- short, sir!"

"Shorter," He corrected.

Hanji knocked on the door. Clap "What business?"

Hanji burst through, "I'm freeeee finally. Ohho, say can you seeee, by the dawn's early liiight. Or so prouuudly I scale thuhuh,"

The picture moment was set. A cadet was doing clap pushups with Levi sitting cross-legged atop their back reading a book. The arm muscles were incredible! Clap, huff, Clap, huff. "My," Hanji blushed, "What tone, those shoulders! How can someone look so healthy?"

Levi groaned, "I always look this healthy." (She wasn't talking to or about him.) Clap, huff, Clap, puff

The Commander got on all fours, "Clearly she wasn't raised in the walls. Rich or- snap Aha, a farm girl!" Pause. Your forearms strained. The lungs threatened a system shut down. Worst of all, a person was examining your every move. Which, you were use to being the observer. "Oi, no one said stop, keep at it! Ten more added. Zoe, get off the ground, you are not a dog."

Clap, strain, Clap.

"This must be Female Levi everyone has been chatting about. Thought they were talking about Mikasa. Well, now I can't place a bet." Clap, huff, Clap, Puff, HUFFLEPUFF! Clap, Clap, Clap. "Comforting to know you're on my side, Commander," Levi drew attention to the book, turning the page. Clap, Grunt, Puff, Clap. Hanji held her head, "What a find. What a treasure. What a- an anomaly. For this, your parents must have been very healthy, then raised you in the same way." She squealed. Your elbows popped. You let out a squeal too, "T-talk," Clap, "Later," Clap, Puff, Huff, Clap.

"Cadets know nothing."

"No challenge whatsoever, Captain. I would have to argue that she is the best human figure I've had the pleasure of examining." Clap,

"Clearly you are stressed to get someone like me."

"In potential strength: equal for the task."

"Have you seen her butt?"

Hanji craned her neck. You grew hotter of embarrassment. Clap, Puffy Huff. The scientist hummed, "Now now, that position can diminish the appearance of glutes. I am sure they are plump as an apple."

Levi took a hand off the book and poked a cheek. You tried not to react. Hanji put a hand under her chin, "Plump as a ripe apple, see?"

Levi shrugged and applied both hands to the book, turning the page. You had lived through many things, but this, this was a special way to die. Sheer subjugation to embarrassment. The two authority figures disregarded proper societal norms for the sake of science advancement. Clap, Huff. Knowing this made it ten times worse. "Ya have been counting, right hen?"

Clap, "Thirty-Four," Puff

Clap, "Thirty-Five," Gasp

Clap, "Thirty-Six," Puff

"Be careful, Captain, she has a figure Mikasa would be jealous of. I reckon she could defeat her in an arm-wrestle." Clap

"Silly Cadets are bet crazy early in the system," The starved scientist pointed out, "There is stiff bet material here. Good luck," Hanji waved away. Clap, groan, Clap.

"I was thinking about squats next. Crunches if you're good. I would like a cup of tea, that is after you mop the floor."

The man was a sadist! … Your sadist.

You were surprisingly not sore afterwards. Your arms had strained an hour ago, but there was no remnant. The side braid you adopted worked: No one recognized you as ranger. (Besides Levi, 'course.) The tree dragging girl bumped into Mikasa and suggested just what Hanji brought up. Once Pancakes told you, Levi was sipping the tea brewed. "What are you waiting for?" You were worried he would find another creative exercise and booked it to the red scarfed Akerman per popular demand. Sitting on a crate, you greet her, "Nice to make your acquaintance, Miss Akerman. I apologize for my comrades' foolish behavior."

Hanji was there in no time. The Commander kept a composed stance, still in nerd mode, "Ready? Commence!"

The crate busted by blunt force downward. Stray wood chips clacked on the freshly swept floor. You got splinters in your elbow. There wasn't an assigned nurse on duty and Hanji offered to pick the splinters from your elbow. "Those scars are quite the sum. I'm guessing why you joined the scouts?"

She was right. It was one of the reasons. You winced as she pulled another splinter, "This also gives me an opportunity to be in the walls. You guys do those missions."

"It has gotten awfully peaceful outside the walls. We do assist the military police on a regular basis. Levi's squad is special ops. They deal with very interesting cases."

"Levi certainly is special."

"Ah, as always. It takes time to get used to. He just really cares. Seems to have taken some attention toward you. No offense intended, it is transparent how strong you are. He sees the threat and wants to beat every last drop of confidence you have."

"Commander Zoe, mam, what is it about my figure?"

"I have studied the human figure in contrast to a titan and you have this satisfying middle ground. Perfect if applied correctly. But it goes past fitness, you have plenty of sunlight and nutrition. Oh, how troubling for the men you left at your village. A real heart breaker right here."

"Oi, whatcha doing, taking a break?"

"She's just broke a crate with Mikasa. The crate bit back. Almost done."

"Tsk, didn't beat her?" Levi leaned down behind you and spoke plainly, "A lot of talk for that. If she can't beat Mikasa, she'll fall behind me. You know what that means."

"Yes sir."

Hanji pulled another splinter and you stood, "Sorry, Commander,"

"Anytime, Titania."

Captain shoved you to the door. You obeyed.

Instead of the field, he led you to a shower stall. You filled a bucket with sanitary products out of habit. "Scrub it clean, maybe I will reward you." The added words at the end gave you incentive.

You got to work and Levi left. Armin walked in, "Hey, I have a question."

You looked up from the sink. The blond continued, "Your file says you are twenty-five. Now, many people lie about their age, but please be serious about the record. I was put in charge of organizing this information."

"Twenty Six by tomorrow," You proceeded cleaning. The blond stood puzzled, "Why join?"

You breathed out, "My father went Rouge from the scouts. I feel bad. The titans took everything I had. I find this can lead my life to where it lead my dad's."

The blond didn't leave. "Well, I have a statement."

"Shoot,"

"We have met before."

You kept scrubbing. It really made little difference if he knew you were Ranger. The blond leaned against a wall, "Your reaction means you are hiding something. There it is. You're a titan, aren't you?"

You turned. He had a serious expression that held no fear, "Give up the act now or it will be worse for you."

For once, he had been wrong. You did not stop cleaning, "I was once groomed to become one, but believe me when I say: I'd die before becoming an abomination. Enough, blondie?"

Armin crouched down and held out his hand, "Enough for now. Hey, I am going to find out who you are."

You took off a glove to shake his hand. "I admire your spirit," You complimented without so much of a grudge. He was searching for a red-herring. Anything that remained from the old you was burnt in the fire.

"Finished, Captain, sir."

Levi had his arms crossed. "I really am better at cleaning. You missed the mirrors."

"Very sorry, sir. I will get them now." You sprayed the glass cleaner on them and wiped it, "Hm?"

"Hit the showers, new recruit."

You assumed the shower was your reward. You grabbed the change of clothes. Your first mission was to be tomorrow. In the single stall, you scrubbed intensely. The water carried the filth down the drain. The shower was cold, but you didn't care.

You walked down the hall to get to your dorm. Levi grabbed you by the collar and walked you to his room. He closed the door and pulled you in. Tenderly, he ran his hands from the top of your spine tracing down to the small of your back. You kissed his neck. His head tilted back, pleased. You traced his collar bones, pushing back the fabric. "I can hold you again, finally."

He brought you to his neatly made bed. You slipped off your shoes clumsily. He pulled back the covers. You gave him kisses along his jawline keeping him distracted. You pushed him down and he didn't resist. "Told you I would be on top, sir."

"Want me to clap now?"

You held his hands down on the bed. "My captain made me work really hard today, love. I think we should just hit the hay."

"What an evil man," Levi dragged you beside him. "Whatever shall you do?"

"Punish him," You clutched between the cloth of his pants. The button came off nicely. "Hit the hay, hm?"

He pulled your leg toward him, grinding purposely slow. You gripped the top of his shoulder, "Bad boy." You suckle on his kneck unmercifully. Your hips moved, and you had gained the top spot again. Your legs were on both sides of him. The sound of him groaning from the kiss vibrated through your stomach. You restrained from going too far. Holding a finger on the bottom of his chin, you examine the color mark added, "That one can be covered by your fancy scarf, but be warned, I will go higher."

He grunted, "It's called a cravat."

"I should learn how to tie one."

You moved your hips teasing him, slowly rubbing your thigh against his hip, your sensitive flower pressing against his shaft. He twitched, scooting your chests together. The top three buttons were already open, exposing an eyeful of cleavage to him. His fingers grasped your butt. You gasped from the contact. "You're so shy and innocent," He dragged on, "Don't you read those books?"

You slipped a hand down to grasp his hard member, "Don't insult my library."

He kissed you and moaned. You explored his nether regions for reactions. "Ohhh-" The deep voice was throaty. His breath drew out and open. His hands gripped your bare glutes, traveling down to the thigh. You let go. He frowned when you slid his hands off. His mouth was open panting, his shirt was wrinkled, and his pants fully unzipped. The sight was amusing. His face tensed into the familiar scowl, "Well?"

He put a hand on his bulge, gripping it, blushing. You slid out of the bed. He sat up confused, grumpy, "What's wrong?"

"I am…" You frowned, "I have work to do tomorrow. Good night, Captain."

Left alone, Levi rolled into a ball. Something was wrong.

Hanji woke up hitting her head on her bed. She had rolled under in her sleep. A common thing. She strapped up and walked out. The new recruits were in a neat line for departure.

"Titania, you look as if the walls are intimidating. Surely you're not scared."

"The last time I was around here, my family was still alive. I was six. It is different now, no doubt."

Cake laughed, "I grew up in the underground. Trust me, surface dwellers are pansies."

"Am I now," You shoot a glare. Cake shut his mouth.

"Scouts, the military police are another branch we aid from time to time. They have graciously allowed us to do a day in their line of work. As a reward for hard-workers, every case taken and completed is an hour of time free tomorrow. Otherwise, we drill till sundown! Alright, get to work!" Not fun.

Cake stuck to your side like glue, "Levi grew up over there. They say he was a big problem down here. Everyone knows who he is. They actually respect the scouts because of him… except for the drug lords."

Cake was useful in this case. A sketchy figure rolled under a card. You saw a patrolman approaching. He wore the standard uniform. You saluted him with the arm gesture. He did so too...left over; right back. Suspicious~ "Sir, we are scouts reporting for duty, where is the officer in charge?"

The patrolman lit a green cigar, "We didn't get any word about this. You kids go back to the station. Find something more your rank."

"Right away, sir," Cake responded.

You eyed the shadow under the cart. "Wait, wait… Are you Toonces? Toonces Kat, you must be. What an honor to meet you, sir."

Cake widened his eyes, "The Toonces?"

You winked at Cake. The Berry confection comrade knew to keep the man busy. "I insist on buying you a drink."

The guy refused, "I need to guard this- area."

"No need," You waved, "Go have fun."

You spun around, dove under the cart pulling the shady person into the dim light. Cake took the hint and drew weapons. You slammed the person's face into the dirt, "What's up with the cart?"

The body went limp. You turned her over and her mouth foamed white with cyanide. They had a handheld remote of sorts. "Talk," You demand the 'officer'. He grew fearful. His fright raised his nonexistent eyebrows, "If I say anything, he'll kill me."

"I heard somewhere that torture is worse than death." Cake assisted, "I've studied over thirty torture techniques that keep the subject barely breathing. Slow, painful, and mortifying. Ranger here is called 'Female Levi' in our division. Wanna find out why, punk?"

You flipped the man Judo style against the wall, "Confess now. I have a short fuse, go."

"El Dorado has carts like these all over town. As a distraction, we are to blow the targets."

You lean in, "Main objective?"

"The drug cartel. You're not from here, are you?"

Cake was clearly offended, "Shut trap street rat. These allies are my playground."

You slapped the man's head making a satisfying smack sound, "This is a gift. Next time you're caught, it won't be a holiday."

Boom!

The cart had exploded. It knocked you and the men back. Your ears rang, "Take me to the Black Market!"

Cake lead the way without retaliation. You blinked till the light readjusted. Landing in an ally way scattered with lead pipeway, you turned to the helpful informant, "Got anything against sweeping the rats into a trap? If so, do exactly as told."

People were strong. They wielded knives, fists, hammers, baseball bats, firearms, and chairs on occation. But once they showed you how to use it, their game was beaten. The cowards ran. Fighters rushed in blindly. Merchants crawled back into the hole they came out of. The walls were slimy. The roads were definitely not one hundred percent dirt. Shattered bottles and crushed beer cans lay strewn carelessly. You laughed like a maniac. It caused you special pleasure to knock a knife out of the attacker's hand. Points if the hilt struck a surface causing noise. "Simon says, 'Give up your drugs.'"

The resistance increased. The job was tedious. There was a slight strain. The clap pushups were no joke and had gotten back. "Make it out alive with this," A thug pointed a firearm at you. You zig-zagged in evading tactics, "Mother may I?"

You kicked the gun out of his hands, firing it. You stepped on his face, "The trash man has arrived." You announced. A solid punch landed square on your nose,

"Might need a bigger truck," Private Hitch Dreyse pulled out a standard military police gun. "Nice to meet you, Ranger. Some kid from the Scouts told me to get here. We are dealing with the drug cartel. What's your objective, soldier?"

You slammed a guy into a brick wall, "El Dorado is where?"

"The fuck you talk about? Hop off, I got no idea what you be trippin' on!"

"I'm tripping on the litter people like you throw down."

"Naw, I don't do that. Chill ma, have fun down here instead."

"Ah, okay, so see here. The problem is that El Dorado got on my bad side. If you want to dip in that lake, be sure you can swim with the big fishes of heaven above, we Gucci?" A steel baseball bat raised weightless in your hand.

"We cool, just chill!"

"Where's Senior Dorado?!"

"The Dice game changes."

"What?"

Hitch leaned over, "His location changes."

"Where was he last?"

"That way," He pointed to a narrow tunnel branching further down. He ran. You didn't need him anymore. Private followed behind silently. As shenanigans progressed, you made it to a well-furnished establishment. "El Dorado here?"

"Sí, señorita, ¿qué pasa?"

You cursed your feminine voice and tried to make it imposing, "El diablo quiere su alma." (The devil wants [to collect] his [El Dorado's] soul.)

"We speak English, officer."

You closed your mouth and let your actions do the talking after that.

You thought Hanji would be pleased. She did not take the news as it played out in your head. "You were to do small jobs," She scolded. "Shit, this is overstepping our boundaries. This is what produces paperwork. Milkah, when we get back, you are scrubbing the men's bathroom with a toothbrush to Captain Akerman's inspection. And don't worry, he sees specks as a hawk spots mice."

The newly recruited scouts silently praised your behavior. They were more respectful of you. "Auto Bots, Roll Out!" Hanji called to the troops in a tired shout.

"Attention, cadet. What did your stupid ass do!?"

You stood and saluted, "I defied orders, Captain sir."

"What a shitty stupid move. I won't tolerate any sort of rebellion on your part on the field. Resume cleaning. You're lucky Hanji is so enamored with your physique, I'd court-martial your sorry ass out of the military! I wonder what amount of JPD can break that damn free spirit. What exactly did you do?"

Levi had not been filled in the situation. He assumed the worst. Hanji had sounded distraught. You dipped the toothbrush into a vat of solution, "I hit an officer, beat up some people in the black market, and captured El Dorado red-handed in a drug deal."

The information processed in mere seconds. The disappointment faded from the Captain's mind, "That's a crap ton of paperwork. It is hard to believe that the scouts and military police were once on good terms." His tone lowered to a sorrowful whimper. Bad memories of the Underground surfaced to haunt him.

The scrubbing noise was at a piano never to crescendo. When Levi stopped scolding you, it had become the only noise left. Captain had his arms crossed leaning against the wall, "So, last night." If you weren't downcast before, you were now. "I would've had the energy for today. Sorry for leaving you in such a way. It was inconsiderate of me."

"... That's all it was?"

You pulled down the face mask, "I always get into some form of trouble. If I woke up in your bed, your position would be questioned. I court-martialed. And it's all my fault for joining instead of kidnapping you or something less compromising."

Levi covered his mouth. His cheeks tensed. You looked up to him. Out of all things holy, Levi Akerman was laughing. "What's so funny?"

You had a subtle wish the Captain hadn't broken and gone insane. He tried to hold his laughter, "You, You're funny. I've heard many crappy absurd things from many kinds of people, but" He let out a giggle. "You take the tea." All cake anyway.

"I'll take your cravat and wipe every toilet in this bathroom and shove it into your little dirty mouth."

He stopped laughing. "That's a double standard, newbie. Check who you're addressing before you run into a brick wall."

"I'm talking to my boyfriend, I presume."

"Not here. I am your Captain here. And you just earned a five-minute wall sit starting now. Luckily for you, your boyfriend is in a cleaning mood and will help out on the condition Ranger joins him for tea."

"Would you like a sandwich with that, Sweetie?"

"Sounds good," He left to transform into his cleaning hero outfit. (Or as I like to call it, The Housewife outfit.) And you counted the seconds of his return. Starting with the three hundred seconds worth of wall sits.

You visited the library in awe. The selection differed in ways you only dreamed of. You snatched two and set them in your room. Rushing to the kitchen, Hanji passes you, "By the way, I'm upholding the case as your free time. While it was unorthodox, you chewed through the crime. And, let's be honest, the interior police has been corrupt since they were founded. I punished you accordingly; then praise you responsibly."

You saluted her and walked at a prouder step.

Levi was leaning on his arm. He had showered too quickly. The tea packet lay unopened on the counter. The door opened and he sat up properly. You swept a few stray hairs behind your ear, "Oh, you're already here. You look tired."

"You've seen me at least an hour ago."

"I know… We should get some sunlight. When the tea steeps, how about going outside to the garden?"

"We don't have a garden, idiot."

"What kind of castle doesn't have a garden? Absurd. Utterly unheard of, with all due respect."

"It's not a castle. But I guess it did have a garden once. There are these overgrown hedges and a bench. Anyone could see it was a sort of sitting spot."

You drew in close to read the label. "Peach Oolong," An arm tugged you. The grey-blue eyes of the Captain were inches from yours, "Cuddle with me tonight. It's going to rain."

"Alright, after visiting the garden, we can go up to my room and I'll read while cuddling. How does that sound?"

Levi kissed you unexpectedly. "So everything is alright? Nothing I need to know about like, a fucking retard trying to touch my girl."

You glanced at the door, making sure it was closed, "I have been asked to date many times since arriving in society."

"And… you." He squeezed the words out sourly, "You're not interested in anyone else?"

"I was way too busy. Gosh, I had to beat your record in slaying wooden titans."

"Good," Levi let go, "Just remember that your mine. Whatever I say goes, and anyone who gets handsy will have me to deal with. I expect you to use your training in those instances too."

The kettle whistled.

The neglected hedges tangled; their branches spiraled interlocking with weeds. This was indeed a sad sight for a gardener such as yourself. "Oi,"

Dandelions grew in cracks of the pavement. The trees casted partial shade; an absolute beautiful if the view hadn't been overgrown. "Oi, Ana!"

The day wasn't over yet. You could weed and the weekend was free next week. It was salvageable potential.

A strong grip tugged you to look his way, "Miss Milkah, I might not be your Captain for the moment, but boyfriends need attention too. This is the first date I've had in years."

The surroundings suddenly dropped to the bottom of your mind, "Date?"

"The Webster's dictionary was the top of a pile. Assuming you've read past 'A', a date is in your vocabulary."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know this was a date, I just though we were hanging out or something, sorry."

Levi's heart started beating noticeably, "I guess the hot springs could have been a more obvious date than this."

You twirled a piece of your hair, "This is good. Thank you for taking me here. I was just thinking about how splendid it would look if given a little tender love and care. I want to ask about being able to restore it to it's intended glory."

"Tender love and care sounds like the kind of services I need."

Levi scanned the helpless shrubbery. He saw it easier to pull everything out and start from scratch. "Forget I said that."

Your cheeks warmed. The garden was a perfect analogy for him, you decided. "Gardens can be tended to any time. It doesn't have to rain."

Humanity's Strongest got it. He downed the rest of his tea, his elbow parallel to the ground. Cake rushed up to you two, "Titania, oh… Captain Levi… did I walk in at a wrong time?"

"What is it?"

Berry winced at the intimidating air that swirled around Levi. "I wanted to talk to Titania, but I can wait."

"I am sure whatever you say to her can be said in front of me."

Cake nodded, "Titania, we are going to have a free weekend next week. Most of the scouts wanted to go to town. I was wondering if you wanted to go."

You stood up. The thought of going into public and seeing the sights so rare to you was exciting. You would be there as an official citizen no less. "That sounds great! I wanted to weed the garden; but afterwards, I could join you."

Berry stumbled back bashful, "Yay, I will tell the others. Thanks, Titania."

"No problem."

The pancake stained cadet left the scene. You sat down, crossing your ankles, "I thought they were not fond of me. I guess it takes some time to establish a certain amount of trust, eh Levi?"

"That sounded like he asked you on a date."

"No way no. We are friends. And I have always wanted to be in the walls among normal people, walk their way of life. To see the house tops from the ground."

"I don't want you to go. They probably plan on getting drunk. And you just scream light-weight."

"No one knows that yet."

"Yes, I do. I also don't want him around you while you're in a compromised state. Too many accidents happen that way."

You sat back on the bench stretching a hand to the lowest leaf, "Leviiiii, I am a responsible adult."

The addressed man crossed his arms, "How would the garden feel about being ignored when the rain lifts?"

This was no longer about the garden as a separate entity. They were one and the same. "Then I recruit you to the task of restoring this garden to perfection. I being your senior of plant care, will be in charge of the operation."

Levi stood up pulling you behind him, "That cloud is dangerously close to cover the sky. If you get the dishes done before I Finnish paperwork, we can beat the lightning."

The keen storm radar and you split ways.

You changed into a thin undershirt and black spandex. The books plead for a reading. Settling into the blankets, you hop into a world unique to the clever author's mind.

Thunder boomed in some distant land. Levi entered the nearly empty room. A bed, a dresser, and a lamp was the only furniture. He recalled your cottage and wanted to acknowledge your sacrifice. A book lay on the floor while another was open being read, "It was a noble move from a paradise farm to a skimpy military room."

You closed the book and sat up. "Well, it burned down so, joining the military was easier than trying to restart a farm."

"Why me?"

You tossed the covers off to get close to Levi. "What a silly notion." Your hands worked quick to unbutton his shirt and untie the caravat, "I guess it's fair to tell you since I ruined your date, well sit here."

You huddled him tight to you, "The first time I saw Captain Levi Akerman was when Erwin Smith got the guts to talk to me. He sat in the middle of the forest, talking till I approached. When I sat down in front of him, he established my position. I was the Ranger, slayer of titans, dweller of the forest, protector of the lost. The handsome Captain was searching for his superior. I skedaddled from the intimidating figure and watched afar. During the mission, I overheard many things. You talked in this slang I had only read in books. But it was odder because despite the trope your speech lead on to believe, you desired order and a devine taste in tea. Trying to not stalk the interesting character, I would focus on the scouts that needed help the most. Damn your handsome features. I couldn't resist the flawless class you excuded. Somehow, Erwin caught wind of my interest. God, that man was sharp-minded. That autumn, you met the Ranger. Why you? You're you and that's all you need to be. Cuss, be demanding, be blunt, protect what you believe in. After giving so much, you deserve ten fold. I want you to smile more, no, I want to make you smile."

Levi rolled around and buried his face in your chest. His low voice vibrated, sending a warmness spread, "No more words."

After a while, he kissed your kneck. It was time to resume what had been delayed.

Levi's hands smoothed across your sides. The thumbs searching for the rounded peak. You gasped as the shirt was lifted to reveal the absence of a bra. The man tilted his head smugly. As the hands made the tits harder, you made pleasure noises. Levi licked his lips seductively. The stark contrast between light and shadow cast true. Levi rubbed his hard crotch painstakingly slow against you. He licked your soft breasts. A moan escaped, ragged of breath. The wet tounge slid over the erect nipple, the other breast being stimulated as much. For a good minute, Levi enjoyed his own pleasure of comfort. He pressed his face between your two lumps. Then he sat up, unzipping the bursting pants. He held a hand to it as he crawled back. His kisses walked a forbidden trail up your thigh. He stopped for a moment to inspect the faded scar. His breath, lips, and moans tickled the thigh. You reached down to pull the thin spandex down. Levi raised an eyebrow. You had put on your outfit without underwear. Without another seconds' waste, his mouth buried to your vagina. He tasted what had been withheld. Your mixed groans composed a symphony specific to your ears. The covers were clenched tightly between your fingers. "Ah-" Your voice raised. Levi had found the spot. Your knees bent upward while your hips threatened to rock. Levi pressed his hands tight around his throbbing member. He made eye-contact in control. Your left leg twitched in want. He pulled down the final layer to reveal his cock. "Tell me," The deep and raspy voice demanded low, "Give me your consent."

His hip lowered, not touching. Your voice sturred, "Mhm."

The captains patience extended only so far, "In words, cadet. Full sentences." His growl of need crawling to get the best of him. "Fuck-"

"F-fuck what, huh, Ranger?"

"Fuck me Levi."

"Yes, fuck you."

The tip sunk in barely, bayed away to plunge deeper the next time. He pressed his hands to your hips, them rocking in a locked rhythm. "Louder," He slowed the pace, keeping the shaft deep. "Ah-Ah-Ah n," You vocalized in pure pleasure.

You woke up to the Captain hugging you. A knock pounded on the door. Shit.

Or something.