Luka grabbed her phone and read the news.
Birds crash far-right and far-left political rallies.
Rant against Koalas
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Koalas are stupid, leaky, riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
"Ehh...fuck politics." Luka said nonchalanly.
Suddenly mass fucking produced robots kidnapped Luka and brought her to a giant skyscraper inside Luka saw the interior of the building was quite fancy. Suddenly Luka was put on anesthesia.
"Larry get your fucking ass over here and put that camera inside her brain!" Kirishima yelled.
"Yes mistress"
But the camera broke and suddenly birds flew luka back to her place as if nothign happened.
Miku looked at herself confused about her weird clothing. Miku wore a black coat, red gloves, boots, and a grey dress shirt.
"What...was that just now...?" Sakamoto asked.
"You little...!" Kamoshida started as he walked to the two of them. Sakamoto quickly got up and tackled him to the ground. "Aagh!"
"How you like that you son of a bitch!?" Sakamoto yelled at him.
"The key...!" Miku yelled.
"You mean this...?" Sakamoto asked as he pulled out the key.
"No we mean that...yes that key! Now lock him in before he gets up!" Miku yelled.
Miku and Sakamoto locked Kamoshida up in his own cell.
"Damn, you!" Kamoshida shouted at the two of them looking extremely pissed off. Suddenly a light surrounded Miku and she reverted back to her school clothing.
"Whoa-it went back to normal?"
Suddenly Kamoshida started pulling on the bars startling Miku and sakamoto.
"You little bastards!"
"Shit lets run away from this place...!" Sakamoto yelled as he tossed the key away while following Miku.
"Goddamn thieves...!" Kamoshida shouted still holding onto the bars. "After them! Don't let them escape! You no good shitty bastards Do you think you can get away with doing this shit to ME!?"
The two came to a barred door and immediately slammed their shoulders but the door was locked.