Just want to give a quick shout out to Miss-Scales on DeviantArt for making the cover art for this story. Seriously, she'd super talented, fun to work with and her prices are reasonable. Look her up if you're ever looking for a quality fanfic cover. With that said, Adventure Time is the property of Cartoon Network and Hazbin Hotel is the creation of Vivienne M. Medrano aka Vivziepop. With that said, Enjoy.

Chapter 2: The Pygmalion Proposition

Although she would never admit something like this out loud, Marceline was feeling pretty nervous as she floated down the hall to the Time Room's central chamber. She had never met Prismo before, and Jake's descriptions of him had been vague and sometimes contradictory, so she really wasn't sure what to expect from the all-powerful Wish Master. But still she pressed on. She had already come this far, so there was no sense in turning back now.

As she reached the end of the hall, the Vampire Queen found herself standing on the edge of a twenty foot drop; beyond which laid a large open room with identical entrances on each of the adjacent walls. For the lair of a supposedly godlike being, the inner chamber of the Time Room was remarkably unimpressive. The only furniture was a small wicker waste basket in the far left corner, and the only decoration was some sort of enormous mural depicting a pink, 2-Dimentional humanlike figure that extended from the floor to the surrounding walls. No sign of the Wish Master himself though.

Or so it appeared.

For upon further inspection, Marceline realized that the 'mural' was snoring.

"Uh… Prismo?" she asked tentatively to the sleeping wall creature. "Yo, wake up!"

"BWAH!" the 'mural' exclaimed as it was jolted back to consciousness. "I-I-I wasn't sleeping, Sir! I swear, I was just resting my eyes and… wait, you're not my supervisor."

"Eh… no, I'm Marceline."

"Oh, right, the Vampire Queen. Yeah, Jake told me you were coming." The wall creature said in a casual but good-natured manner. "Sorry about that. I just kinda dozed off and… You ever have one of those dreams where you're at the office and you just finished some big report, but then your supervisor comes over and he's all 'Dude, where are your pants?' and then you look down and you're all 'Dude, where are my pants?', but then after you wake up you're all 'Wait, I don't work in an office, and I never wear pants.'? You ever have one of those?"

"Can't say I have." The Vampire Queen replied, feeling slightly dizzy from the wall creature's longwinded question. "Are you Prismo?"

"The one and only." He answered proudly. "So, I assume you're here for your wish?"

"How'd you guess?" she asked sarcastically as she gently floated down so she could stand before him; or on top of him, depending on how you looked at it.

"It's what everyone comes here for. But you know, I've got friends who like me for me, so I don't let it bug me too much."

"Cool." Marceline replied, her voice faltering just a bit as she remembered why she was there. "Speaking of friends, I'm guessing Jake already told you what happened between me and Bonnie, right?"

"Yeah… he told me." The Wish Master said with a sympathetic tone. "But listen, I know you're feeling super vulnerable right now and you're probably not thinking clearly. So I'm just gonna warn you ahead of time. All my wishes come with crazy side effects. It's like a Monkey…"

"Yeah, yeah, 'It's like a Monkey's Paw'. I know the bit. It's not exactly original." Marceline snapped, before instantly regretting it. "I… I'm sorry. I'm not really myself these days."

"It's cool. But like I was saying, my wishes have consequences. Especially ones that deal with time travel. So my advice to you is…"

"Time travel?" the Vampire Queen asked confusedly. "What are you talking about?"

"Isn't that what you were gonna wish for? To go back in time and stop yourself from proposing to Princess Bubblegum so you two never breakup?"

"No! Glob no!" Marceline replied, feeling slightly offended by the Wall Creature's question. "I'm not stupid. I know better than to try and change the past. Besides, they'd be no point. I already know Bonnie never wants to get married, so our relationship has no future. Not unless something happens to change her personality. And no, I don't wanna wish for that either!"

"Oh… well, okay then. That's a load off my mind, I guess. But then what do you wanna wish for?"

"Yeah… that's where this gets a little awkward." She admitted, feeling intensely embarrassed about what she was about to say. "You see… I was kinda… sorta… hoping you'd… create someone for me to marry instead of Bonnie."

Even as the words left her mouth, Marceline understood the gravity of what she was asking. This was not the sort of wish anyone who knew her would expect the Vampire Queen to make. And apparently, Prismo knew this too, for his one visible eye had gone wide with disbelief.

"Uh… you mind repeating that?" he said, sounding completely dumbfounded.

"I want you to create my perfect woman for me, so I can marry her instead of Bonnie." She replied, sounding a little more confident this time.

Unfortunately, this did nothing to improve Prismo's position; the Wish Master seemed just as gobsmacked as before.

"O…kay… that's a new one."

"But you can still do it, right?"

"Well, of course I can. It's just… Look, technically I'm just supposed to grant people's wishes, no questions asked, but since you and Jake are tight, I feel like I gotta intercede on this one. Your plan is kinda… Oh jeez, how can I say this without offending you… the opposite of sane."

"I know it sounds crazy, but this isn't something I just decided to do today. I've been thinking about this a lot the last few weeks and I'm sure this is what I want."

"Hey, I know you're hurting, believe me, I've been there. But this just doesn't sound healthy. What you need to do is get back out there and start dating again. Who knows? Maybe you'll meet someone new? Someone real."

"Yeah, because that was so much fun the first time." Marceline replied bitterly. "Well I don't know what dating is like for you, but for me it's a nightmare. Do you have any idea what kind of people actually want to go out with a thousand year old, immortal vampire? Most of them are creeps and the rest are busybodies who think it's their job to try and 'fix' me."

"Wow… that's… that's pretty bad."

"That's not even the worst part. Even when I do manage to meet someone nice, the second they meet my Dad, or see me when I'm hungry, or find out about some of the stuff I had to do after the Mushroom War, they get all freaked out and bail."

"Dang. That's harsh, girl."

"Tell me about it." The Vampire Queen said as she started to tear up. "Bonnie was the only one who ever really understood me. She never tried to judge me or change me or use me like the others. I could just be myself with her; we both could. It didn't matter what anyone else thought, we were happy. Do you have any idea what it's like to be with someone who knows everything about you, good and bad, but still loves you anyway?"

"I can't say I do." The Wish Master answered, sounding a little ashamed.

"Well that's what it was like for me. But now that's all over. And I'll probably never feel that way again. Not unless you grant my wish."

"Not… like… necessarily." Prismo replied, clearly still trying to dissuade her. "I mean, you found someone on your own once. Who's to say you can't do it again?"

"It took me over eight hundred years just to find Bonnie. And another two hundred before we became a real couple. She was one in a million, maybe more. I can't just go back to dating creeps and flakers for another thousand years and hope I meet someone else just as good. I just… I don't think my heart can take it."

By this point, the tears were streaming down her face like a pair of tiny waterfalls. Marceline was long past the point of caring how she looked. At the moment she had little concern for appearing 'cool' in front of strangers. And with that façade gone all that remained was raw, unprocessed emotion.

But this seemed to do the trick. For a few moments later, a box of tissues suddenly materialized in her left hand; which managed to shake her out of her crying fit.

From his position on the wall in front of her, Prismo looked down on the Vampire Queen with an expression of pity mixed with guilt.

"I… guess I don't really have a right to judge you." He admitted in a tone that matched how he looked. "I mean, I'm all about the single life. Whenever I meet a girl I like, even before I ask her out, I'm looking for an exit strategy. All I need are my friends and some occasional action on the side and I'm good. But… that's clearly not for you. So, if you really feel this strongly about this, I guess I have no choice but to grant your wish."

"You mean it?" Marceline asked hopefully as she wiped away some of her tears. "Thank you!"

"Don't mention it." The Wish Master replied with a sincere smile. "Listen, I'll do my best to try and avoid any ironic consequences, but you're gonna need to be really specific with what you want. I mean like really, really specific. Understand?"

"Yes, I understand." She answered, having regained a bit of her composure. "So, how does this work?"

"Well, you can start by telling me what you're looking for in a wife. What makes your perfect woman so perfect?"

Naturally, the Vampire Queen had to think about this. After all, this was going to be the woman she'd spend the rest of eternity with, so she needed to choose her words carefully.

"Well… first of all, I'd like her to be beautiful." She began, before backpedaling just a bit when she realized how that sounded. "Not that that's the most important thing! I mean, I'm not superficial. I just think that if I'm gonna be spending eternity with this person it'd be nice if she was… objectively beautiful."

"Hey, you don't need to justify yourself to me, girl. So what kind of beautiful are we talking about?"

"Well, I was thinking she'd be around my age, you know physically. Somewhere close to my height and build. With long, flowing luxurious hair. You know, something I can really run my fingers through. And she's gotta have eyes that sparkle like jewels. Oh, and her smile, it's gotta be one of those big, warm ones. The kind that lights up a whole room."

"Okay, I'm starting to get a picture. What else?"

"She's gotta love music. Real music. Not that poppy, prepackaged trash. Stuff with real emotion. Real heart and soul. And she should love to sing. Give her a voice that pairs well with mine so we can sing duets."

"Check. Check. What else?"

"And she needs to be smart too. Maybe not as smart as Bonnie, but she can't just be some ditzy airhead. I want someone I can have a real conversation with."

"Doable. What else?"

"She'll need a good sense of humor. I don't want some stuck-up stiff, I want a girl who loves to laugh. And to make other people laugh. And speaking of laughs, she should have a really cute one. The kind that warms up your heart whenever you hear it."

"Also doable. Anything else?"

"Yeah, I'll be the first to admit I can be a little gloomy sometimes. So it'd be nice to have someone who could balance it out. Make her sunny, cheerful and perky. But not too perky, you could throw up from that. Give her a little bit of an edge too. You know, a little darkness mixed in with the light. Sunny girls with a dark side are super-hot."

"I'll take your word for it. Anything else?"

"Yeah, and it's a big one. I love a girl who loves to have fun, but I need more than that. I want my bride to have depth. She needs to be able to understand real sadness and be able to empathize with me on a deep emotional level. She needs to understand or at least have an idea of what it's like to be me. To be an immortal, ageless vampire. To be half demon. To be the daughter of someone who's basically the Devil. We need a deep, emotional connection so we can comfort each other when we're sad. Because let's face it, sadness is a huge part of my life."

"So I've noticed. Is there anything else?"

"Just one, but it's like the most important. You see I… I know I'm not perfect. I don't always do the right thing. Heck, I usually do the wrong thing just for the fun of it. So… if I'm going to have a wife, I'd like her to be someone who can… maybe… help me to become a better person. But you know, in a loving, nurturing, nonjudgmental way. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I think I get the picture." The Wish Master said warmly. "Well, if there's nothing else, just say the word and I'll whip you up an insta-bride."

"Okay." Said Marceline, pausing briefly to take a deep breath; this was a big moment after all. "I wish…"

"Stop!" Prismo said abruptly; his voice containing a note of quiet urgency. "I'm sorry, but I can't let you go through with this. Not without all the facts."

"What are you talking about?"

"The truth is… even if I get this exactly right and the girl I make is everything you've ever wanted, she won't really love you. I mean, she will, but not because she wants to. It'll be because that's her whole purpose for existing. She'll basically just be a living doll."

And just like that, Marceline's heart sank.

"But hey, I'm not here to judge. So if you can live with that, then more power to you. So… is this really what you want?"

The Vampire Queen hung her head in shame.

"No…" she replied sullenly. "But I don't know what else to do. Bonnie won't marry me. And who knows if I'll ever meet someone even close to my perfect match the right way. So I guess it's either loneliness… or a doll."

Suddenly, the Wish Master let out a strange but familiar sound. That kind of uncomfortable grunting noise a person makes when they desperately want to tell someone something but they know they probably shouldn't.

"What is it?" she asked him curiously.

"Uh… I could get in a lot of trouble for telling you this, but… I don't need to create your perfect woman. She already exists."

Marceline's heart skipped a beat.

"W-What?"

"I said your perfect woman already exists. Just… not in your universe… or any version of your universe. She's from a completely different multiverse."

"I don't understand. I thought the multiverse contained every possible version of reality. How can there be more than one?"

"It's… complicated. And anyway it's beside the point. What matters is that while I don't normally have any jurisdiction over timelines outside our multiverse, I can sometimes observe them if the weather's not too bad. And I've seen enough of one timeline in particular to know that there's a girl there who's got everything you're looking for. Seriously, like the whole time you were listing qualities for your perfect wife, her face kept popping into my head. It's almost uncanny. And… if you're willing to make it your wish instead, I can arrange for you two to meet."

"R-Really?" She stammered, a bit of hope returning to her voice.

"Yeah, but listen, this isn't like your standard Prismo Wish. Traveling between alternate timelines is one thing. But traveling to a universe outside your own multiverse is like all kinds of dangerous. Just you being there for more than a few seconds could set off a butterfly effect of who-knows-what. Plus, before I can even grant the wish, I gotta prove to my superiors that you have a good enough reason. Then they gotta have a sit down with their superiors and get their permission to give me permission. The whole thing should take about a week. And even if I can get this thing approved, there's gonna be a time limit to how long you can stay there. And there'll be a lot of rules you have to follow. And you'll only get one chance, so if you can't make it work before time runs out, you'll never be allowed to try again. Ever. Not even if you get someone else to wish for you. So, with all that in mind, do you still wanna give this a try?"

"I… I'm not sure." Marceline admitted, her head still spinning from all this new information. "Can I at least have a look at her before I decide?"

"Hmmm…. I'm not getting any reception from that universe right now, but I think I might have a clip of her from a few months ago. Hold on."

A few seconds later, the leftmost wall of the Time Room turned into an enormous block of static.

"Ah dang it." Prismo cursed. "The file must've got all corrupted. Hold on, maybe I can fix it."

The Vampire Queen wasn't sure what, if anything, the Wish Master did, but after a minute or so the static started to clear. The picture was still pretty bad, but at the very least she could sort of see what was going on.

Someone was crying.

Then, from out of the white noise and distorted images, there came a voice.

At the end of the rainbow there's happiness~

And to find it, how often I've tried~

But my life is a race, just a wild goose chase~

And my dreams have all been denied~

Good.

Freakin'.

Glob.

That voice. That heavenly voice. Soft as the velvet pillows in a Princess' boudoir. Sweet as wild honey dripping from a jungle tree trunk. It was like the voice of an angel.

Why have I always been a failure~

What can the reason be~

I wonder if the world's to blame~

I wonder if it could be me~

Oh, and that emotion. That raw, unfiltered sorrow saturating every luscious syllable. Now this was a woman who understood pain. Who understood real sadness and loss. And she could channel it into something this beautiful. The mark of a true artist.

I'm always chasing rainbows~

Watching clouds drifting by~

My schemes are just like all my dreams~

Ending in the sky~

For a split second, the screen went completely clear and Marceline finally got a good look at who was singing. And oh sweet mama, what a sight she was. Hair like glistening gold. Skin as white as milk. Eyes like pale yellow diamonds. And all wrapped up in an adorably fetching pinkish red tuxedo. Oh… even with tears running down her rosy cheeks, she was a vision of loveliness. A Muse from Mount Olympus made flesh. An angel sent from Heaven to teach the mortal world what perfection really is.

Her heart was all aflutter. It was all the Vampire Queen could do to keep from fainting. If she weren't already undead, she was certain she'd die from the sheer volume of joy that was washing over her like a tidal wave.

A second later, the screen turned back into a wall and Marceline, as if on cue, fell backwards onto the floor. She just laid there, spread-eagled, cheeks as pink as Princess Bubblegum's and eyes glazed over like she was drunk. Occasionally she'd let out a sigh or an uncharacteristically girlish giggle, which was the Wish Master's only evidence that she hadn't lost consciousness.

"So… what do you think?" Prismo asked, sounding more than a little confused by the Vampire Queen's behavior.

"She's perfect." Marceline replied dreamily. "That voice. That face. That emotional depth. She's like an angel."

She paused briefly to sigh again before she asked.

"Who is she?"

To which the Wish Master dryly replied.

"She's the Princess of Hell."

End Notes:

I'm fairly certain that "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows" is in the public domain. But just in case I'm wrong, it was written and composed by Harry Carroll and Joseph McCarthy for the 1917 Broadway musical "Oh Look!" I do not own it. With that said, thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one.

Peace.