I got nothing to say. Adventure Time is the property of Cartoon Network and Hazbin Hotel is the creation of Vivienne M. Medrano aka Vivziepop. Enjoy.

Chapter 9: Confessions and Confrontations

High up on the 11th Floor of the Happy Hotel, Marceline stood out on her balcony and looked down on the rest of the city; in more ways than one.

Seriously, what a shit heap this place was. The air was foul. The streets were full of garbage. The buildings were ugly. And the people were all either thugs, assholes, drug addicts or cretins; or at least the vast majority.

Calling this place Hell was almost too generous. Charlie deserved better than to have to live in this cesspool. She deserved to live in a world of sunshine and rainbows. To live somewhere where people at least tried to be friendly with each other. The Land of Ooo was far from perfect, but compared to this world it was a paradise. And by God, she was gonna see it; even if Marceline had to move Heaven and Earth.

"Marcy?"

Speak of the Devil, or in this case his daughter.

As if on cue, Charlie stepped out onto the balcony. For a second, the Vampire Queen wondered how she'd gotten into her room, but then remembered that, as the Owner of the Hotel, she probably had a Master Key.

"Oh, hey Charlie. What's up?" she asked nonchalantly, as if she hadn't been expecting her to show up here eventually.

"Have you seen Vaggie?" the Demon Princess asked concernedly. "She wasn't in bed when I woke up this morning, and nobody seems to know where she is."

"Did you talk to Niffty? Because she told me Vaggie was helping her with something down in the subbasement."

"The subbasement? Oh, thank God." Charlie said, breathing a sigh of relief. "It must be the water heater again. The stupid thing's always on the fritz, and Vaggie's the only one who knows how to fix it."

"Oh, well then mystery solved. So, you wanna hang out?"

"What?"

"I… I mean, now that you know Vaggie's okay and that she'll probably be busy for a while, why don't we try to have our first private session. We could do it out here on the balcony."

"Oh, that's a good idea. Sure, why not." Charlie replied cheerily as she joined her patient on the railing. "Listen, I wanna apologize for the way Vaggie's been acting these last few weeks. I don't know why, but she's just been so… clingy lately."

"It's cool. So, how do you wanna start? Should I tell you more about my Dad? My Mom? Simon?"

"Actually, I was thinking we should talk about Bonnie."

Suddenly, it felt as though there were a vice clamped around Marceline's heart.

"W-W-Why do you wanna talk about her?" she stammered nervously.

"Well, you've mentioned her several times in group, but whenever someone asks about her you change the subject. So I figured it might be easier to talk about her if it's just the two of us. Is that okay?"

"I… I guess that'd be alright… so, where do you want me to start?"

"Wherever you feel most comfortable. This is a safe space, Marcy. No one's gonna judge you, and nothing you say will ever leave this balcony. I promise."

That eased her tension, if only a little bit, but at the very least she felt comfortable enough to actually reply.

"Sigh. Okay…" the Vampire Queen said as she forced her Vault to open even wider. "Bonnie… she… she was a scientist. A bioengineer. Maybe the best in the world."

"Wow, sounds interesting."

"Not really. I never understood half of what she did in her lab. It was all nerd stuff. Not really my thing."

"I see… and how did you first meet?"

"It was a long time ago. I was tagging near her lab. She caught me and threatened to call the cops. But I teased her about being an uptight little nerd and she started tagging along with me just to prove me wrong. And… I don't know, we just sort of… hit it off."

"And that's when you started dating?"

"No, at first we were just friends. We hung out a lot, usually at her place. She was always under so much pressure at work, and I was pretty much the only one who could get her to relax. It was great for a while, but eventually her work got more and more complicated and she just didn't have time for me. So we just kinda drifted apart."

"I see, then how did you get back together?"

"Later on, I made some new friends. But it turns out they were already friends with her, so I guess it was inevitable that we'd meet up again. At first I was mad at her for choosing her precious job over me, but eventually I got over it and we started hanging out again. At first it was only as a group, but before too long it was just the two of us again. I don't really know how it happened. We never really used the word 'couple' or 'date'. But then one day we just sort of realized, 'hey, we're together now', and we just kinda ran with it."

"That's very sweet. So tell me, what was she like as a person?"

"That all depends on who you ask. Most people who knew her only in passing thought she was a prissy little nerd. And people who knew her a bit better thought she was an amoral sociopath. But I knew the real Bonnie. And yeah, she wasn't perfect. But she always put other people before herself. And she was just so sweet and warm and funny, kind of a dork but oh so loving and… sometimes I wonder what she ever saw in a screwed up kid like me."

"Hey now, don't be so hard on yourself. I know we haven't known each other for very long, but from what I've seen you're a wonderful person. And anyone, man or woman, would be lucky to have you as their girlfriend."

That had been pretty shmaltzy, but somehow it made Marceline felt a bit better.

"Listen, you don't have to keep going if you don't want to. We can talk about something else."

"No, I… I want to finish." The Vampire Queen said, suddenly feeling a little stronger. "We were officially together for like, I don't know, about three years, and things had been going so well that I decided to go ahead and pop the question. So I went out and got a ring with a diamond shaped like a gumdrop, she… she really loved candy. But when I proposed to her she… she…"

"She said no?"

"She said marrying me would be 'too dangerous'." Marceline answered as she gripped tightly on the railing. "She said that her work was too important and that me being there all the time would bring 'too many variables'. She told me, in the nicest way possible, that her job was more important to her than me. Just like my fucking dad!"

Suddenly she felt something warm wrap around her body.

Without her realizing it, Charlie had enveloped her in an impromptu, but very welcome hug.

"You poor thing." She said sympathetically. "And that's when you ended up down here?"

"Actually, it was like a month later, but yeah… she's the reason I'm here."

"Oh, you poor thing." The Demon Princess repeated as she tightened her embrace.

'Great. Now she thinks I'm a suicide.' The Vampire Queen thought to herself beratingly. 'Oh well, at least the hug is nice.'

"Are you okay, Marcy?" Charlie asked sweetly.

"Yeah, I'm alright." She replied. "Actually, this is the first time in a while I've been able to think about Bonnie without crying. I think you being here really helped."

"Well in that case, I'm happy I could be of assistance." The Demon Princess said blushingly. "You know, it hasn't even been ten minutes yet. Is there something you'd like to ask me now?"

Marceline was a little caught off guard by this question. Obviously there were so many things she wanted to ask Charlie. So many deep and personal secrets she was desperate to know. But for some reason, the first thing that popped into her head was…

"What's a Fomorian?"

"Oh… that's uh… interesting. Why do you wanna know about them?"

"I don't know. Blitz mentioned them yesterday and he made them sound like a big deal. So… who or what are they?"

"Oh, well… they're nothing all that special. Just Earth's original inhabitants. The ones God made before humans."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, God made them around the same time he made the dinosaurs. I guess you could call them 'prototype humans'. But they were so arrogant that they turned against him almost immediately. And after millions of years of them acting like total assholes, God finally decided he'd had enough, so he wiped them all out with a meteor and sent their souls down here for all eternity."

"Wow… How come none of that's in the Bible?"

"It was originally, but the Council of Nicaea edited it out for some reason."

"Huh… so what are they like? The Fomorians I mean."

"They're the worst. My dad tried to force me into an arranged marriage with one about a hundred years ago, but she was horrible. She ate like ten times a day, mostly raw meat, and yet somehow never gained a pound. Her breath was disgusting, and don't even get me started on all the weird stuff she made me do with her in bed. Ew!"

"Jesus. She was that bad and your dad still tried to force you to marry her? Sounds like a real jackass."

Suddenly, Charlie's expression became much more somber and the Vampire Queen realized she might've made a big mistake.

"Charlie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"No, it's fine." The Demon Princess cut her off, sounding a little deflated. "He's not… as bad as most people think. At least not when it comes to me or Mom, or any of my aunts and uncles."

"Aunts and uncles? Wait… back up a sec. The Devil has siblings?"

"Eh… sort of. They're not related by blood or anything, but all angels consider themselves family. Even the ones down here."

"I see… so what are they like?"

"They're okay, I guess. They mostly just keep to themselves, unless my dad wants them to do something for him. Unlike me, they don't mind being bossed around all the time."

"So your dad's kind of a control freak, huh?"

"You have no idea. Everything always has to be his way. What I wear. What I say. What I think. I'm over three hundred years old and he still treats me like a baby. You should've heard him when I told him about my redemption plan."

"That bad, eh?"

"Worse. He was so mad he almost blew the roof off the palace. The only reason he even let me try was because Vaggie talked him into it."

"Really?"

"Yeah… he really respects her opinion. Everyone in my family does. No one ever talks to her like she's a child. Or pats her on the head. Or pinches her cheeks. Or calls her 'Pumpkin'. God, I hate that nickname!"

Marceline made a mental note to never use that as a pet name.

"Sometimes I think…"

"What?"

"Nothing, it's… it's stupid."

"No, come on, tell me. I promise I won't laugh."

"Sigh. Fine, it's just... sometimes I think… that the only reason my dad lets me stay with Vaggie is because he wishes she was his daughter instead of me."

"Wow… that's… that's pretty messed up. Does Vaggie know you feel this way?"

"No, you're the only one I've ever told. And I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone else."

"Don't worry, I'm great at keeping secrets. You have my word."

"Thanks." The Demon Princess said warmly as she placed a hand on one of Marceline's. "You're a great friend, Marcy."

"Yeah, right… friend." The Vampire Queen said awkwardly, before plucking up the courage to finally say what she'd been wanting to for weeks. "Say, um, Charlie, there's something I've been wanting to ask you for a while, but I'm not sure if I should."

"What do you mean?

"It's just… we haven't really known each other all that long, and I don't want you to think I'm crossing a line or anything."

"Marcy, this is a safe space, remember? Nothing you say or do will be judged or repeated to anybody. So just say whatever's on your mind."

"Well… okay." Marceline said before taking a deep breath to steady her nerves. "Charlie, are you sure Vaggie's the kind of girl you want to be with?"

To her credit, Charlie's reaction wasn't nearly as negative as the Vampire Queen had expected. Instead of getting angry or defensive, her face merely deadpanned in confusion.

"Say what now?"

"I'm just saying that you're so nice, and sweet, and cheerful and fun loving. And she's just so… cold, and crabby, and bossy, and mean. I'm worried that being with her might be crushing your spirit."

"Marcy, I don't see… or like where you're going with this."

"Look, I just… don't like the way she talks to you sometimes. The way she talks down to you and leads you by the hand like you're a little girl. And after hearing everything you just said, I can't help but think that… well…"

"Well what?"

"Well… I can't help but think that maybe the reason your dad likes Vaggie so much is because she's exactly like him."

"Okay, now you are crossing a line!" The Demon Princess said sharply, before taking a quick breath to calm herself down. "Marcy, it sounds like you're just trying to help, and I appreciate that. But I'm not gonna stand here and let you or anyone else disrespect the woman I love. You don't know Vaggie like I do, and you definitely don't know my dad. They are nothing alike."

"I'm sorry, I just… I thought maybe you could do better than her."

"Do better?" the Demon Princess repeated, sounding almost insulted. "How could I do better than someone who loves me and would do anything to make my dreams come true?"

"How about someone who would do anything for you and never talk down to you or treat you like a child?"

"Oh yeah, like who?"

"Well… like me."

Once again, Charlie surprised her with just how well she could control her emotions. Instead of some kind of comedically over the top reaction, she just awkwardly said,

"Uh… What?"

"Charlie, I… Oh, God Damnit, I'm sick of dancing around it! Charlie, I'm in love with you! I have been ever since I first heard you sing. But it's more than just your voice. You're warm and sweet and loving and you're just the most wonderful person I've ever met. I know I'm flat broke and all I've got is this stupid hat and a guitar, but I know we'd be so good together. And I know I could make you so happy. So… what do you say? Do you wanna give me a chance?"

Yet again, the Demon Princess's response was almost uncharacteristically reserved. Instead of answering right away, she remained silent and gave herself a moment to think. Her expression changed more than a dozen times; from surprise to concern to pity to several others that were harder to identify. Finally, after settling on guilt, she spoke up.

"Marcy… I…"

"YOU!" roared a familiar voice from somewhere close by, cutting off whatever Charlie was about to say.

From seemingly out of nowhere, Vaggie stepped through the balcony door; practically foaming at the mouth. In place of her usual mini dress was a pink and black poodle skirt ensemble with matching shoes and earrings. Her face was caked in so much makeup that she almost looked like a whore and her new 1950s bouffant hairdo gave her the appearance of a housewife. It was all so comical that the Vampire Queen couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!" the one-eyed demon spat venomously as she stomped her way towards them; wincing a few times as she walked.

"Oh my God! Vaggie!" Charlie exclaimed as she rushed to her girlfriend's side; her eyes wide with loving concern. "What happened to you?"

"Niffty happened!" she said furiously, pausing to wince once again. "Somehow that little psycho got it into her head that I was overworked and needed a 'special surprise makeover spa day' to cheer me up. So she kidnapped me, tied me up, and spent all day doing this to me! Ow!"

"Why do you keep wincing like that?"

"Because she also gave me a Brazilian Wax! Ah!"

"Heh-heh. More of a razor kinda girl, huh?" Marceline joked, earning a poisonous glare from Niffty's fashion victim. "Oh, lighten up, Mrs. Cleaver. It's funny. Besides, you can't get mad at me for something Niffty did."

"Funny you should say that. Because after that little maniac finally untied me, she told me that this whole thing was your idea!"

"Huh… now why would she say a thing like that?"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

"Whoa! Easy there, Vaggie." Charlie said as she attempted to restrain her enraged lover. "I'm sure Marcy had a good reason for doing this."

"Yeah, because she's obsessed with you." Vaggie replied bluntly. "I heard her little confession on my way in. I knew there was something wrong with her and now I know what. She's a crazy, pathetic stalker freak!"

"Say that again! See what happens!" the Vampire Queen said furiously, but was promptly ignored.

"Charlie, she's dangerous. We have to throw her out now."

"Don't listen to her, Charlie. She's just trying to control you. You know I'd never hurt you."

"You stay out of this! You don't know anything about anything!"

"I know a toxic relationship when I see one. And I know that Charlie deserves someone better than some rude, bossy, manipulative, ultraviolent one-eyed bitch!"

"That's it! You're gone!"

"That's not for you to decided! This is Charlie's hotel, not yours!"

"Fine! Charlie, tell her she's out of here!"

"Don't listen to her, Charlie! Tell her you want me to stay!"

By this point, the Demon Princess was just a bundle of nerves; hers eyes constantly darting between the two of them, and sweating profusely. Had they been in the right frame of mind, both the Vampire Queen and her romantic rival would've realized how much their arguing was affecting her. But since they weren't they didn't and simply allowed her to keep suffering until she finally gave them an answer.

"I… uh…"

End Notes:

At this time, I'd like just like to ask that everyone try not to judge Vaggie and Marceline too harshly. Neither of them is being their best selves right now. They're both being dominated by their fears and insecurities, and being manipulated by outside forces. So, you know, kinda reserve judgment until the end.

With that said, thanks for read and I'll see you in the next one.

Peace.