Heartbreak Warfare :: Chapter Nine

Hope had finally consoled Ciara enough to get her to sleep. She'd laid with her for over an hour, reassuring her that Bo was going to be okay. Once she was asleep, Hope suddenly felt exhausted by the days turn of events. That morning, she had woken up in Bo's arms and had mind blowing sex. Fast forward to him throwing punches at Aiden, vomiting repeatedly, and passing out in the bathroom. How could she not have known he was not himself?

She exhaled slowly and returned to the master bathroom to find Bo still hugging the toilet. She ached to be able to take his pain away. This wasn't fair. He didn't choose this addiction. It was forced upon him. He looked helplessly up at her.

"You're probably not hungry…" Hope offered softly. She squatted down to rub his back again.

He enjoyed her touch. He always had, but after being imprisoned for years he had a whole new level of appreciation for the human touch. She wasn't just any human. She was his one and only human. Her touch awakened his body unlike any other.

"No…" Bo finally found the strength to reply, "Not hungry."

"Do you want to get cleaned up?" Hope cautiously asked. He had to feel awful. He had dried blood and sweat stains all over his clothes and face. His hair was wet, and he'd been hanging his face over a toilet for hours.

He stared at her, slightly embarrassed. He felt so weak. He was tired.

"I can help you," Hope offered, "Don't be ashamed Bo."

It took him a minute to mull it over in his head. He felt worthless. He felt vulnerable, but there was only one person in the world he was willing to let see him this way. He was staring at her. He saw no judgement there. He only saw love and concern pouring out of her beautiful green eyes. For a moment he didn't care that she'd moved on. She was here now and he needed her desperately. He finally nodded in agreement.

"Okay?" Hope nodded with him.

"Okay." Bo agreed. He took off his button up and let Hope help him slowly pull his t-shirt over his head. He winced slightly as it brushed against the freshly scabbing wound on his forehead. Next, she helped him to his feet. He steadied himself on her shoulders as he took off his jeans.

"Hold on, Brady." Hope ordered softly. She opened the shower door and turned on the water waiting for the steam to begin rising. When she turned around, Bo's arms were crossed and he was violently shivering.

"Bo are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" Hope questioned, "I'm really worried."

"I'm sure." Bo spoke through gritted teeth.

Hope extended her hand, signaling him to step towards her. He removed his boxers exposing himself completely. He averted his gaze. Where was his manhood? Certainly not here. He was a broken, weak, mess, but Hope didn't see him that way.

"Sit." Hope ordered softly. She helped him lower himself to the shower floor. She wasn't risking any more falls. The warm water sprayed against his back. He welcomed the heat. He closed his eyes, resenting the embarrassment he felt bubbling up inside.

"Bo, why won't you look at me?" Hope wondered aloud.

Bo rubbed his eyes, fighting off tears, "I can't."

"Yes you can." Hope encouraged.

Bo shook his head, "I can't…. LOOK at me!"

His fist made a sideways impact with the shower wall. His voice broke as a sob erupted from his chest. He never wanted to be this way. He never wanted anything to be this way.

Hope's heart broke. She immediately stripped her clothes, exposing herself to him. She stepped into the shower and closed the door. She sat down just like him; naked, exposed, and afraid. They were facing each other indian style in silence as hot water radiated down around them.

"Come here," Hope pleaded with his defeated frame, "It's not your fault."

Bo turned so that his back was to her and he lay back into her chest. Hope let him rest his torso on her, placing each of her legs on either side of him. She held him like that for a moment, letting him cry. She cried with him. So much of their life had been taken from them, and now Bo was struggling with a serious disease.

When she felt his sobs subsiding, she placed some shampoo in her hand and gently massaged his scalp. The feeling was heavenly. The tension residing there loosened slightly. When she was finished she helped him sit up to rinse. While he was up, she put soap on a wash cloth to massage his back. He let her take her time. When she was finished, she offered him the cloth, "Do you want to do the front?"

Bo nodded, thankful for the offer to clean between his legs on his own. He started to shake again, sending cramps through his body. He groaned, but didn't want to leave the sanctuary they'd created. He turned around to face her again and reached for the shampoo. His movements were slow, but he managed.

"My turn," Bo whispered softly.

Hope smiled at him. The love she felt for him overwhelmed her. She couldn't believe she could ever doubt him. She turned around to let him lather up her long hair. He was gentle, mirroring her soothing shampoo of his own hair.

When they were finished, Hope helped him out of the shower. They toweled off in silence, occasionally making eye contact.

"How do you feel?" Hope asked quietly. She'd wrapped herself in a robe.

"A little better," Bo sighed, "But not good."

"Time for bed," Hope nodded, "Let's go."

Bo walked into the bedroom and grabbed a fresh pair of boxers. Even though Hope had moved on, she hadn't touched any of Bo's things. He was comforted by the fact that all of his things were exactly where he'd left them. This was still their home. When he turned back around clad only in his boxers, Hope had pulled back the blankets.

"In you go," Hope smiled, "Sleep will be good for you."

"Will you stay with me?" Bo questioned, afraid of the answer.

"I'll do whatever you want Brady." Hope almost laughed at the absurdity of the situation, "There's no where else I'd rather be."

Bo weakly crawled into the bed. He had a long night ahead of him, he couldn't bare to spend it alone. He watched Hope slip into a pair of pajamas. She turned out the lights and sat down on the bed beside him. She reached for his hand, grasping it softly, "Bo are you sure this is what you want?"

"I'm sure." Bo nodded in the darkness.

Hope smiled. She wanted it. She wanted him to get better. She wanted him to heal. She felt herself being pulled into his chest. Her heart fluttered. His body twitched as he shivered and his muscles cramped, but she didn't mind. Being close to him was enough. She was grateful he was alive. Together they fell into a restless sleep.