AN: Thank you so much for all the great feedback! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter even with some fairly serious subject matter, I'm not sure why but the dialogue was cracking me up. :) I'm not sure if it's a sign of madness to have your own characters crack you up or not. :) Enjoy. I'm debating between ending it within a few chapters or taking one detour before the end, so we'll see how my contemplation goes.
Back in the kitchen, Molly had them each a bowl of ice cream dished up before they could even blink. Ron, laughing a bit and not wanting to sit down for the ice cream, ate his standing up as he jokingly chided Severus.
"Are you really okay Sevr's?" Teddy asked through a mouthful of ice cream.
"I'm okay," Severus answered honestly. "It was a lot harder on Uncle Ron, Grandma Molly really let him have it. I'm sitting down, he isn't."
"I'll be right," Ron assured them, taking a large bite of ice cream but remaining standing up. "It's not like it was the cruciatus or anything. But Merlin sakes, mum, I've fought Voldemort! I work for the ministry! I'm a little old for you to take a ruler to."
"You deserved it and you know it," she shot back, laughing. "Maybe Harry will be more inclined to laugh at you than be mad at you when he hears the whole story. But about that Governess, there's something not right about this whole thing . . ."
"Have you heard all the torture Severus did to poor Broomie?" Ron told her. "There weren't many that would take him on after all of that. She was considered one of the most tolerant of the nannies."
"I'm sure Severus had his reasons with Broomie, didn't you, my dearie?" Molly smiled at him. "I will talk to Harry about this when he gets back from his honeymoon, I don't trust that Slytherin overblown Nanny. She's either overly crafty or overly cowardly, one. I don't believe for one minute she was afraid of our Severus."
"Well, we have a few days until Harry gets home," Ron told them, finishing his ice cream. "But Hermione should get home in a few hours now, and I have some explaining to do with her as well and I'll be lucky if I'm not on the couch tonight. Who wants to play a game of exploding snap before supper?"
Later that night, Severus slowly read a story to Teddy and wondered as he heard raised voices coming from the ground floor of the house. When Hermione had arrived home while they had been eating dinner, there had been an unspoken agreement that nobody would tell her what had transpired until after dinner and the kids were upstairs and out of earshot. Severus personally would have loved to see Ron explain to her what had happened, but now that he heard the low rumblings of a fight he realized that he was glad he couldn't. A low anxiety in the pit of his stomach blossomed – what was going to happen now? Would Ron blame him for this fight? Was he going to hit Hermione? He tried to focus on the book he was reading and not listen to the fight, which was just rumbled tones to them anyway, but he fought the tension creeping into all his muscles.
"Do you think they're fighting?" Teddy asked.
"Yes," Severus answered, closing the book and realizing that they weren't going to get much done. "I think that Auntie Hermione is pretty mad that Uncle Ron let that woman trick him."
"Uncle Ron was stupid," Teddy shrugged. "Grandma Molly fixed it."
"Thank you for getting her," Severus told him. "You got her just in time."
"It was my fault," Teddy told him, looking like he was near tears. "I should have left when you said to."
"It was that horrible Miss Stradling's fault," Severus corrected him. "She's the devil. Any tears you have about it being your fault means she wins. You hear that? You want her to win?"
"No," Teddy answered, a little scared to say anything else.
"Good," Severus nodded. "Now it's time to go to bed."
"Is she really the devil, Sevr's?" Teddy asked, cuddling under his blankets and wide-eyed, thinking about Miss Stradling having horns.
"No, not really," Severus answered, not wanting to scare Teddy. "She's just a stupid nanny."
"Poopyface nanny," Teddy giggled.
"Sounds good to me," Severus answered. "And she's a poopy-faced nanny that I'm going to get rid of, just watch."
"You should just come to Grandmum's with me instead," Teddy told him. "It's better than a poopyface nanny."
"Undoubtedly," Severus agreed. "Good night."
Severus went to his own room, still hearing the low rumbling from down below, but found that he couldn't sleep. He strained to listen, but still couldn't make out the words. Eventually, the rumbling stopped. Severus, unable to contain himself any longer, crept out of his bed to see what the aftermath of the fight was. He crept down the stairs as quietly as he could, wincing at the creaking by a few of the steps. He knew that the house wasn't ever really silent – and telling himself that others probably wouldn't hear, he pressed on and descended the steps and started to creep towards the kitchen, where he had heard the fighting.
"You may as well come in here, Severus," he heard Ron sigh. "I'm on the couch."
"What?" Severus yelped, startled.
"I kind of expected you," Ron smiled a bit. "Good on you for not coming down sooner and giving us some privacy for our fight. See, it's all over and I'm sleeping on the couch to give the Missus some time to cool off."
"Is she very mad?" Severus asked.
"Hopping mad," Ron confirmed with a sad smile. "Rightfully so. Come in and sit with me, I could use a friendly face after all of that."
Severus came in, cautious, having trouble believing that he hadn't just beat up Hermione during the fight. Severus sat on the chair closest to the sofa that Ron had managed to make a bed on. It felt so strange to be in the main room at night – it felt like he was in a different house entirely.
"Was she mad you got tricked?" Severus asked.
"Yeah," Ron agreed. "But she said that she understands about my protective thing – that once Miss Stradling said she was scared and framed it like I was protecting her that it was all over for me. No, she was madder that I made a wizard's oath to punish you without talking to you first. And that I almost did it too without really understanding what had happened too – well, thank Merlin for my mum or I would have had a lot worse to answer for. I think she may have taken a little mercy on me because my mum smacked my bum. It made her laugh a bit at me, and that broke some of her fury. I'm hoping to be able to apologize when she cools down a bit."
"Did you hit her?" Severus asked in what he hoped was a casual voice.
"Did I what?" Ron asked, incredulous. "Severus, how could you ask that?"
"You were mad at each other," Severus answered, defensive. "I heard the yelling."
"Okay, look, I understand you saw a lot of . . . that kind of thing before," Ron explained, suddenly feeling wholly unequal to the task of explaining domestic violence to a young Severus Snape, but also feeling incredulous anyone would think himself capable of hitting a women. "But let me say this. A man never ever hits a woman, like never ever."
"But what if they fight?"
"Well, they can get mad at each other, even yell," Ron explains. "And they can take a break like we're doing. But I would never ever hit her, ever. And to be honest, it would take a brave man indeed to hit Hermione – he would be transformed into a pile of slugs in about three seconds."
"My mom was a witch," Severus said in a hollow voice.
"She was," Ron agreed. "Look, mate, I have no idea why she didn't just hex the bloke. She could have killed him easily, or even just used a spell that made him less violent. But sometimes, I don't know how to say this really, but sometimes people are so caught up in their relationships and thinking they can change a person or something that they don't act really, you know?"
"Maybe," Severus said, not really sure.
"Look, all I know is that I can promise you on everything I hold sacred that that is not something you have to worry about from any decent man," Ron told him earnestly. "Harry would of course never hurt Ginny, and I of course would never hurt Hermione. Okay?"
"Okay," Severus nodded, remembering what Draco said about trying to believe what the Gryffindors said. Could he really trust them?
"You didn't see that part of the wedding ceremony, did you?" Ron asked, bemused. "When a witch and a wizard get married, they usually promise as part of their vows that they will never raise their hand to harm the other. Part of it is intent – it doesn't count if like I tell a joke and Hermione slaps me on the leg. But if a couple who makes that vow actually breaks it, well there are really serious consequences."
"What kind of consequences?" Severus asked.
"I know it starts with a warning," Ron told him. "I've never done it, but I know that's how it starts. It becomes really painful, and it can end with you losing your magic. It's pretty serious."
"What was the spell Harry did on me?" Severus asked.
"That was a similar spell, but different," Ron tried to explain. "Didn't they explain this to you? It was a family bonding spell. It's not like a forced thing or anything, it's more like a vitamin that helps bonds form. It's usually done at a wedding where there's children from a previous marriage coming in. It's sort of like when you're gardening and you put fertilizer down to help the plants – it fertilizes your hearts towards each other."
"But Harry could still beat me?" Severus pressed. "Not his wife, but he could still beat his child?"
"Are you still worried about that?" Ron asked him, concerned.
"Not as much," Severus admitted. "But sometimes still."
"So even today when I got the wrong end of the stick and made a royal arse of myself, were you afraid I was going to beat you?" Ron asked.
"Not really," Severus answered. "The Governess had asked you to use the cane, but you wouldn't."
"You're right, I wouldn't," Ron answered with a smile. "And if my mum hadn't rescued me and I'd made an even bigger mistake than I had I would have felt terrible, but I wouldn't have actually damaged you, would I?"
"I guess not," Severus acknowledged.
"You're safe with us, Severus," Ron told him. "I know Harry bangs on about it all the time, but I want you to hear it from me too. We're going to make mistakes – me more than the others probably – but we care about you and we're doing our level best to raise you as best as we can. Okay?"
"Okay," Severus agreed.
"Now there was one other thing I wanted to ask you," Ron nodded. "That Governess of yours – is there anything you need to tell us about her?"
"No, nothing," Severus lied.
"Are you sure, mate?" Ron asked. "She seems a bit . . . off. It's like mum said, she's either a coward and incompetent or scheming. You'd tell me, wouldn't you? You'd tell me if there was something wrong?"
"I'm fine," Severus lied again, feeling increasingly uncomfortable with his lies. Why was he lying anyway? Did he really believe that this overgrown child was going to send him away to a boarding school if they couldn't find a nanny? But it wasn't really Ron's choice, was it? It was Harry's.
"Then, if you're sure you're fine," Ron's eyes twinkled. "Have I ever told you a story about how brilliant my wife is? And how beautiful? And forgiving?"
"Very funny," Hermione's voice came from the stairs. "I thought I would come down and check on you."
"Just having a conversation with the 'victim of my arrogance'," Ron told her. "I'm assuming him hearing us fighting upset him a bit, so I had to assure him that I didn't beat you up."
"Oh Severus!" Hermione gasped. "I'm so sorry you would ever even think that! No, Ron would never hurt me. He can be a large overgrown child sometimes completely ruled by misogynistic chivalry, but he's not a bad man at all and would never ever hurt me."
"He said it was part of your wedding vows," Severus told her.
"It was," Hermione agreed. "But even if it wasn't I wouldn't be worried. There are mean things you can do to a spouse that wouldn't trip the spell – things like yelling at them and belittling them. Ron would never do any of those things to me; he loves and respects me."
"Loves you and respects you enough to be forgiven enough to share your bed?" Ron asked with an impish grin. "This couch is rather uncomfortable."
"I didn't say you had to, you know," she smiled at him.
"I know," he answered. "You were just so upset I wanted to give you some space to calm down. I don't blame you at all, I was an arse."
"What do you think, Severus?" she asked. "Should I forgive him?"
"Why are you asking me?" he asked in surprise.
"You know, it would set a good example for young Severus if you forgave me, my dear," Ron continued, his eyes twinkling.
"How so?" Hermione asked.
"Well, it shows him that mistakes can be forgiven and all that," Ron assured her. "I'm sure that's right good for his little psyche. Right, Severus?"
"Um, right!" Severus agreed, deciding he wanted to help his hapless uncle.
"Alright, then, you can come to bed," Hermione told him. "You too, Severus, are feeling well enough to go to your bed?"
"I am," he answered.
"Come get us in the night if you're frightened," she told him.
"I will, Auntie," Severus promised.
"Here, I'll tuck you in, mate," Ron told him. "I'll be right in, Hermione."
"Good night, Severus," she told him, nodding at the two and heading towards her bed.
"Thanks for helping me out there," Ron told Severus as he tucked him in. "I was not looking forward to a night on the couch."
"Have you done it often?" Severus asked. "Slept on the couch?"
"A time or two," Ron admitted. "Always my fault, but it's much better to make up. Now, I want you to sleep now with no more worries, okay?"
"Okay," Severus answered, suddenly feeling very sleepy. It had been a long day.
"Goodnight little man," Ron told him. "Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for the both of us."
"Goodnight," Severus mumbled, the warm bed welcoming him and Severus finding it hard to keep his eyes open. He barely noticed Ron rumpling his hair with affection before he let himself out of the room.