I meant to have this up yesterday, but there was a bad storm and my power went out twice. Anyway, Adventure Time is the property of Cartoon Network and Hazbin Hotel is the creation of Vivienne M. Medrano aka Vivziepop. With that said, Enjoy.

Chapter 19: Flipping the Script

While Alastor was busy making sure Marceline didn't spoil his favorite romantic drama, Vaggie was burning the midnight oil on her own passion project; namely her love poem for Charlie.

Despite her initial doubts, the Fallen Angel soon discovered that she did indeed have a natural aptitude for this sort of thing; just as Niffty had suspected. And now after days of writing, rewriting, proofreading and revision, she had at last completed her masterpiece. A two and a half page composition detailing her true feelings for the Demon Princess through use of vivid imagery and metaphor without resorting to an overuse of flowery language. It didn't have a title yet, but that was of little importance to Vaggie; for all she cared, it could just be called 'Love Poem for Charlie'. All that mattered was the content and the effect it had on her intended target.

As she skimmed over it one last time to make sure there weren't any spelling or grammatic errors, she felt, for the first time in months, a great sense of pride and confidence. This was really going to work. This was really going to save her relationship with Charlie. This simple little poem was going to make sure that she would marry the woman she loved. Everything was finally going to be okay.

"Nice work, Kiddo." Said a familiar voice, causing Vaggie to nearly jump out of her chair.

She quickly spun around and, as expected, there was Lucifer standing over her.

"Sir! I-I-I mean, Apple Daddy. W-W-What are you doing here?" the Fallen Angel asked nervously.

"Take it easy, Kiddo. I'm just here to see how you're doing, and to deliver some good news." The King of Hell replied casually, keeping his voice as low as possible so as not to alert anyone else of his presence. "But before we get into that, I just want to say how impressed I am with how far you've come in such a short time. I had no idea you could be so… well… poetic."

"Thank you, Apple Daddy." Vaggie replied, blushing a little at the complement. "But it's only because I had such a great teacher. I never would've even thought to try poetry if it wasn't for Niffty."

"Which reminds me, where is that delightful little maniac? I was going to ask her if she'd be interested in joining the Palace Staff. I dare say her positive energy would be a welcome change of pace."

"Oh, she's asleep right now. Over there in that chest of drawers next to the bed. But I wouldn't wake her if I were you."

"If you were me, you'd have a much better fashion sense." Lucifer commented dryly before raising an eyebrow. "Wait, she owns a bed but she sleeps in a drawer?"

"I… try not to ask her too many personal questions."

"Fair enough, but listen, about that good news. I had a freelancer do some digging, and she turned up something interesting. We've got some real dirt on this Marceline bitch that just might turn Charlie away from her for good."

"Really? Well, what is it?"

"It would take too long to explain. Best if you just see for yourself. Hold out your hand."

Vaggie did as instructed and Lucifer placed a pair of small metallic bands in her palm; one silver and one gold.

"Uh… wedding rings?"

"No. Well… I suppose you could use them for that, but that's not what you'll be doing with them tonight." The Dark King explained. "You see, these little beauties are called Soulmaters, and basically what they do is link the souls of the two people wearing them; allowing each one to know everything the other one knows."

"Okay… but what am I supposed to do with them?"

"Must I draw you a diagram? First, you bond your soul to Marceline's so you can learn all her shameful secrets. Then you bond your soul to Charlie's so she can learn them too."

"You want me to bond my soul to Marceline's?"

"It's the quickest and easiest way to get concrete intel she can't dispute. Besides, it's temporary. Soul Bonding's only permanent if someone performs a ritual while you're wearing the rings."

"I… I don't know. Can I have some time to think about it?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Kiddo. I must've misspoken. This is not a request, it's an order. And I need it done tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Is there an echo in here?"

"B-But why so soon? I still have over two months."

"Exactly. You only have slightly over two months. And in case you've forgotten, this isn't just about getting you and Charlie back together. It's about getting Charlie off this Redemption nonsense. Which will take time, which is something we don't have, which is why you two need to get back together immediately. Got it?"

"Yes, Apple Daddy. I understand, it's just… linking my soul to a stranger's… I don't know if I'm comfortable with that."

"Oh, so now you're not comfortable with following my orders, is that it?" Lucifer said as his voice began to darken. "Tell me, Kiddo, how was living in my castle these last few years? Was that comfortable for you?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Because you seemed quite comfortable while you were eating my food and watching my tv and wearing out all the springs in my furniture while I let you FUCK MY ONLY DAUGHTER!"

The entire room shook as Lucifer's voice echoed off the high walls. It was nothing short of a miracle that Niffty hadn't been awakened by all the noise.

"I… I'm sorry." Said the Dark King, sounding genuinely ashamed of his outburst. "It's just been a very stressful time for me. Lilith still won't talk to me, and now all this Marceline business. I just really need you two to get back together. Then you can move back into the Palace, get married, and everything can be… right."

As scared as she was, and rightfully so, that last bit brought up something that had been nagging at the back of Vaggie's mind for some time now. So, putting her fear aside for the moment, the Fallen Angel plucked up the courage to finally speak her mind.

"Why do you care so much about me marrying Charlie?" she asked tentatively. "I mean, not that I'm complaining, but… you seem kind of… obsessed."

The Fallen Angel had expected another outburst from her King, but instead her question seemed to help calm him down.

"You know, sometimes, you really do sound just like her." Lucifer said with a sort of quiet nostalgia.

"Who? Charlie?"

"No, silly. Vagatha. The original I mean. The one I named you after." He explained dreamily. "Yes, she was always my favorite sister. Even if she did turn against me and forced me to… well, anyway, I think that's why Father chose you to become one of his New Angels. Maybe that's why he chose all of them, to replace the children he lost during the war. I never met any of the others, so I can't say for sure. But Father always was the sentimental type."

"So… you want me to marry Charlie because I remind you of your dead sister?"

"No, no, no, Kiddo. You're oversimplifying. It's more like… Look, you know I love Charlie. She's my precious little Pumpkin. But she's just so… well, barring some kind of paradigm shifting personal cataclysm, she's never going to be the kind of Queen Hell needs her to be. But that won't be a problem anymore, once you're officially in the family."

"Um… Apple Daddy, would you mind repeating that last part?" Vaggie said, suddenly feeling very, very uneasy. "Because now it sounds like you want me to marry Charlie so you can make me your replacement daughter."

"Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh. Oh, Kiddo. You take such wild leaps." Lucifer said amusedly. "The word 'replacement' implies that I'd be getting rid of Charlie, which I would obviously never do. No, once you two are married, we're just going to gradually nudge Charlie out of the spotlight and put you front and center. Build you up in the eyes of the people, as it were. That way in oh… five to ten years, when I announce that you're the new Heir to the Throne, no one will question it."

"Y-Y-Y-You want me to be the next Queen of Hell?" the Fallen Angel said as her brain struggled to comprehend this revelation. "Why?"

"Why not? You've got the brains, you've got the killer instinct, you've got my Father's seal of approval, and if we're being honest, you've been a much better daughter to me than Charlie ever was or will be. So really, it's kind of a no-brainer."

"But what happens to Charlie?"

"Nothing. She'll still be Princess. She'll just be… more of an ornament. And that's really the best thing for her. No one will bother her and she'll have time to catch up on all her new hobbies. Ones that don't involve the R word."

"But Sir, uh, Apple Daddy. I really don't think…"

"Did I forget to mention that this is not up for discussion?" Lucifer interrupted. "It's either my way or the highway. The highway in this scenario being that I never let you see Charlie again and you spend the rest of eternity alone. Is that what you want?"

"No, Apple Daddy." Vaggie answered meekly.

"I thought not. So, are you gonna go along with my plan?"

"Yes, Apple Daddy."

"Good. Now listen up, because there's a few things you need to know. First off, when you link your souls, make sure that you're wearing the silver ring and that Marceline is wearing the gold one. Got it?"

"Yes, Apple Daddy."

"Great. Second, make sure you're both wearing the rings on your left ring fingers. Your left. Otherwise it won't work. Understand?"

"Yes, Apple Daddy."

"Fantastic. One last thing, but it's the most important. Bonding your soul to someone else's can be an… intense experience, and very disorientating. It might make you say or do things you normally wouldn't. But just stay focused on your objective and you should be fine. Got it?"

"Yes, Apple Daddy. I understand. I won't let you down."

"I know you won't, Kiddo." The Dark King said as he affectionately tussled Vaggie's hair. "Now get to work."

XXX

By the time Lucifer finally left it was around 2 in the morning, and at almost the exact same moment the sky opened up and let loose a dreadful downpour. Granted this was Hell, so spontaneous bad weather was nothing new, but somehow this random thunderstorm seemed particularly ominous.

While the rest of the Hotel was sound asleep, Vaggie was silently sculking the hall outside of Marceline's room; mentally grappling with her conscience.

She couldn't believe she was really going to do this. I mean, forcibly bonding her soul to someone else's to extract incriminating intel. This was wrong on so many levels.

But on the other hand, what choice did she have? Lucifer made it clear that if she didn't do this, she'd never be allowed anywhere near Charlie ever again. This was the only way to stay on his good side.

But on the other hand, what about Charlie's good side? Even if the intel was as bad as Lucifer said, would Charlie forgive her for how she got it? And even more importantly, would she ever forgive herself? And besides, she didn't want to be Queen. She didn't want to rip away Charlie's birthright and turn her into a powerless puppet princess.

But on the other hand, Lucifer had a point. Taking Charlie out of the spotlight was the easiest way to protect her. And no one would dare make fun of her once she assumed the Throne.

But on the other hand, this was WRONG! This was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, one billion times wrong! And there were no more hands after that.

A sudden thunderclap brought the Fallen Angel out of her internal musings and she found herself crouching beside her target's bed. Apparently while her heart and mind were debating, her body had been running on autopilot. And as luck would have it, the Bat Demon was still asleep, and with her left arm hanging over the bed no less.

This was the perfect opportunity. All she had to do was slip the gold ring on her left ring finger, the silver one already on her own, and then she'd know whatever it was that Lucifer wanted her to know. And with any luck, the Bat Demon would simply write off the whole thing as a bad dream.

Yep, it was the ideal setup.

If she could bring herself to actually do it.

Again, this was all kinds of wrong, but she didn't really have an alternatives.

It was either this or an eternity of loneliness.

But was that really enough of a justification?

While Vaggie continued to debate this in her head, Marceline began to stir in her bed.

She thrashed and flailed about like mad; muttering fearfully in her sleep. Until at last she sprang up like a Pop Tart and shouted,

"I didn't tell anyone, I swear!"

Naturally, this had caught Vaggie off-guard. So much so that she could do nothing but stand there in a stunned silence while Marceline regained her senses.

"Huh? What the… What's… Vaggie?" the Bat Demon asked groggily as her awareness returned. "What the hell are you doing in my room?"

"Uh… nothing." The Fallen Angel answered awkwardly as she palmed the golden Soulmater and hid it behind her back.

"What was that?" Marceline asked suspiciously.

"What was what?"

"That thing you just hid behind your back. What was it?"

"Uh… also nothing."

"Oh… my… God!" the Bat Demon exclaimed before pointing an accusatory finger at Vaggie. "You were trying to kill me, weren't you!"

"What? No! That's ridiculous."

"So you're not holding a knife behind your back?"

"No, of course not."

"Then what is it?"

"Uh… that's kind of hard to explain."

"Oh my God! I can't believe I was actually starting to feel sorry for you!"

"Now hold on, I swear it's not… wait, you were feeling sorry for me?"

"That's right! I started to feel bad because you looked so pathetic while you were crying and stuffing yourself with ice cream, but not anymore! And by the way, I hope all that stress eating turns you into a blimp!"

"Oh yeah, well I hope Lucifer shoves his hand up your ass and uses you as a sock puppet!"

"I hate you!"

"I hate you more!"

"Bitch!"

"Slut!"

"Cunt!"

"Hack!"

And just like that, the spirited bout of childish name calling erupted into physical violence. With no one to restrain them, the two lunged at each other with all their might and started trying to claw each other's eyes out. Hair was pulled. Clothes were torn. There was even some biting involved.

Eventually, Vaggie managed to pin Marceline on the bed by her wrists. Then, with great difficulty, she attempted to force the gold ring on the desired finger. It took several minutes of struggling and cursing, but finally she managed to slip it on and then…

WHAM-O!

Over a thousand years' worth of memories washed over her like a tidal wave.

Marceline's childhood. Her Mother. Her Father. Priscilla. The Mushroom War. The Wastelands. The Goo Monsters. Wait… Priscilla? Seriously? Simon. Hambo. The Crown. The Nightosphere. The Fries. The Fool. The Empress. Mr. Belvedere? The Moon. The Hierophant. The King. Ghosts. Zombies. Over a hundred toxic relationships. Finn. Jake. Bonnie. Love. Sorrow. Pain. Rejection. And an overwhelming fear of waking up alone every day for the rest of eternity.

Half a second later it was over, and Vaggie was left feeling like she'd just run a double marathon. And as she looked down at the poor, sad, lonely creature she had pinned beneath her, she realized that she'd made a horrible mistake.

Without hesitation, the Fallen Angel released her captive and allowed her to take a seated position on the bed. She opened her mouth to apologize for her shameful actions, but before she could, the Bat Demon… no, the Vampire Queen began to sob uncontrollably.

"No, Marceline, please don't cry." She said remorsefully. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I just… I mean I was only trying to… I thought you were bad."

"Sniff. Sniff. I am bad." Marceline replied pitifully as the tears continued to stream down her cheeks like a pair of tiny waterfalls. "You… You gave up Heaven just to be with Charlie, and I… Sniff… I… Sniff… I was trying to take her away from you. I'm horrible!"

"No you're not."

"I'm a monster!"

"No…"

But alas, her pleas fell on deaf ears. The Vampire Queen had fallen into a deep, deep pit of despair, and it was all her fault. How could she have allowed herself to get talked into this? And more importantly, how could she have so misjudged this poor girl? Marceline wasn't the villain here. She was just a sad, sweet, sensitive, beautiful, artistic, creative, beautiful, warm, affectionate, beautiful, loving, beautiful, heartbroken soul. She didn't deserve this kind of torture. She just needed love and compassion. Affection and understanding. She needed… she needed… her.

Acting on either Angelic Instinct or something else entirely, Vaggie unveiled her seraphic wings; their glistening white feathers instantly gaining the Vampire Queen's attention. She then grabbed the poor girl into a tight but gentle hug; wrapping her wings around her to intensify the experience.

"Vaggie, wha… what are you doing?" Marceline asked confusedly as the tears finally stopped flowing.

"Shh~ It's okay, I've got you." Vaggie said soothingly as she wiped the remaining tears from the Vampire Queen's face. "I'm so sorry for everything that's happened to you. And for everything I've said. But you are not a monster. You are a warm, sweet, loving person with one of the biggest heart's I've ever seen."

"But I was trying to…"

"I know, but you didn't mean to hurt anyone. You were just scared and hurt and… I know what that feels like."

"I know you do. I saw it… and I thought my life was depressing." Marceline replied, allowing herself to smile, if only for a second.

"Yeah, we've both had it pretty rough, and that's how I know you don't deserve to feel this way. You deserve to find happiness. To be loved. Because you have so much love to give. And you're so… so… beautiful…"

Just then, a switch was flipped somewhere deep down inside of Vaggie. Whether it was in her heart or her head she couldn't say. But wherever it was it opened the floodgates and allowed a surge of strange new thoughts and feelings to overwhelm her senses. And apparently Marceline was going through something similar, for soon they were both staring dreamily into each other's eyes.

Then, perhaps inevitably, they surrendered to their newfound passions…

And kissed.

End Notes:

WHAT A TWIST!

Anyway, Pop Tarts are owned by Kellogg's and Mr. Belvedere is owned by ABC and I guess now Disney.

Thanks for reading.

Peace.