Here it is folks, the penultimate chapter. Anyway, Adventure Time is the property of Cartoon Network and Hazbin Hotel is the creation of Vivienne M. Medrano aka Vivziepop. Enjoy

Chapter 25: Titanes Theoi

Keeping true to her word, Charlie didn't make a scene when Vaggie left. In fact, she managed to maintain her composure for a good three hours before finally letting her emotions get the better of her. Thankfully, Niffty was there to console her once the floodgates opened. Right now, the little maniac was the only friend she had in the world.

"There, there, sweetie." The smaller demon said as she stroked Charlie's hair soothingly. "It's okay. Everything's okay… somewhere. Not here, obviously. But somewhere in the universe, everything's okay."

Not the best pep talk in the world, but at least she was trying. And anyway, at the moment the Demon Princess was grateful for any kind of sympathy. Her Mother had to return to the Palace after receiving a text from one of the servants about an emergency or something, and the rest of her so-called friends were still out partying. She supposed she could've gone to Razzle and Dazzle for comfort, but right now she needed the support of people who could talk.

Just then, a familiar quintet of demons barged through the front door; each one sporting either a new pair of shades and/or a tacky, presumably overpriced Mardi Gras necklace.

"Sweet Jesus, what a night." Crymini said, obviously nursing a serious hangover. "I can honestly say that was the second longest drinking binge I've ever been on."

"Third longest for me." Said Husk.

"Fifth." Added Angel Dust braggingly.

"Ugh, everyone stop shouting." Baxter whined, clearly suffering the most out of everyone.

"Blitzy, I gotta admit, you may be a sleazy, lying, good for nothing hog flogger, but you throw one hell of a party." The spider demon said jovially.

"What can I say? I know how to have a good time." The tall imp man replied, before asking confusedly, "What's a hog flogger?"

Suddenly, the five of them seemed to take notice of Charlie's sobbing and stopped dead in their tracks.

"Oh, shit." Said Angel. "This can't be good."

"You don't think she's still upset about us trashing the lobby, do you?" asked Baxter.

"Nah, that was yesterday." Added Husk dryly. "Even she can't cry about something like that for more than an hour."

"Must be something serious then." The angler demon observed. "I suppose one of us should go over and ask her what's wrong. It's the only decent thing to do. Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

Which left Crymini to bite the bullet.

"Ugh! Fine, you big babies." The Irish hellhound said annoyedly before walking over to the Demon Princess and adopting a decidedly more pleasant tone. "Hey Charlie."

"Oh, sniff-sniff, hey Crymini." She replied sullenly. "How was your party?"

"It was… okay, I guess. How are you? You doing okay?"

"I'm fine… sort of… not really. But I will be… eventually…"

"Uh-huh… so, you… wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"Not especially. Sniff. Sniff."

"Okay… so… is Marcy around? I didn't see her yesterday."

"No, she… she moved out a couple hours ago. She's gone."

"Oh… so, does that mean you're back with Vaggie then?"

"No, Vaggie's gone too."

"Uh-huh… kinda confused now."

"They… they left together. Sniff. Because… Sniff. Because they're in love!"

"What?" Crymini exclaimed; nearly falling over from shock.

"Holy shit! Didn't see that one commin'." Angel Dust said amusedly.

"You see, this is why I quit watching soap operas." Husk chimed in dryly. "You miss one episode and you're completely lost."

Ignoring these comments, Charlie tried to recompose herself as best she could.

"Jesus Christ…" the Irish Hellhound said in totally disbelief. "I just… I mean, I had no idea. How did this happen?"

"It's a long story." The Demon Princess replied sadly.

But just then, she caught sight of something that made her blood boil.

Blitz, that sleazy, selfish, conniving bastard, was trying to sneak out the front door.

"And just where do you think you're going?" Charlie asked venomously as she sprang to her feet; her sorrow momentarily forgotten.

"Oh, uh… hey, blondie." The lanky imp man replied; sweating like he was going to the chair. "Listen, it's been a bonkers amount of fun staying here these last few months, it really has. But now that the trial is over and my business is safe, I figured I best be moving along. You know how it is."

But the Demon Princess saw through his cheap attempt to weasel out of this. So, exercising powers she didn't normally use, Charlie pointed at the sleazy devil man, causing a ring of fire to appear around his throat. Then, she used her powers of telekinesis to raise him off the ground by said ring and dragged him right in front of her.

"Huh… this is new." Blitz said, feebly trying to play this off as no big thing. "Could you always do this?"

"I know about the Dark Wedding." Charlie said acidly; her eyes turning a hellish red.

"Dark… Wedding? What is that? Some kind of death metal band? Sorry, not really my genrAAAAK!"

The imp man's boldfaced lie was cut short when the fiery ring suddenly clinched tight around his throat. He remained like this for several minutes, gasping for air and thrashing around in pain, until finally she released him.

"Lie to me again, and I'll put one around your dick too."

"Okay! Okay! I admit it!" Blitz said in a panic; covering up his crotch with both hands. "Your dad called me the other day and offered to help me with my legal troubles if I did him a little favor. He said all I had to do was hide in an air vent and watch two hot girls fuck while I recite some mumbo jumbo. It seemed like a pretty good deal."

"How could you?" she asked in a tone not unlike that of a snarling dog. "After all I've done for you. I took you in when you had nothing. I gave you a place to sleep and food to eat. I was actually nice to you. And this is how you repay me?"

"Look, I was desperate, okay!" the imp man whined defensively. "My whole world was falling apart! Moxxie and Millie are working for Stolas now. Loona's a poodle and fucking his daughter. I've been blacklisted at every whorehouse and porno theater in town. I.M.P. is all I have left. I couldn't lose it to a fucking lawsuit. Hell, your dad even wrote me a check so I wouldn't have to sell it. I'm not made of stone!"

Unmoved by his plea, Charlie grabbed the flaming ring and used it to pull him closer so they were staring eye to eye.

"Listen up, you pathetic little worm." She said venomously. "The only reason you're not a sock puppet right now is because in a weird way this all kind of worked out. I finally stood up to my Dad, and at the very least, I know Vaggie and Marcy will be happy together in a universe of candy and Korean unicorns."

"What?" asked Angel Dust confusedly; speaking for just about everyone else in the room.

"I'll explain later." The Demon Princess replied before turning her attention back to Blitz. "Now then, how much money did my Dad give you?"

"Two-wenty thousand."

"How much?"

"Two million! It was two million dollars."

"Mine!"

"B-But I already spent a bunch of it paying off my asshole lawyer. Plus there was last night's party. Not to mention all my new suits and the Ferrari."

"Also mine! Send the suits to my tailor and give the Ferrari to Razzle and Dazzle so they can swap out my vanity plate."

"Yes Ma'am. Whatever you say. So… are we even now?"

"Not even close!" Charlie roared, before pausing for a moment to regain her composure. "Okay, here's what's going to happen. You're going to sell your ridiculous company to whoever will buy it and you're investing every scent of whatever you get back into this Hotel. Got it?"

"No way! That means I'll 've gone through all this shit for nothing!"

"Tough tinkies! But before we do that, it's time for group therapy. And you are going to be on your best behavior. You will be polite. You will take this seriously. And you will make a genuine effort to better yourself, OR I WILL DO SOMETHING NOT NICE! Got it?"

Blitz was too terrified to answer. So instead he just nodded while sobbing pathetically.

"Good!"

And with that, she dissipated the fiery ring and let the imp man fall to the floor.

"Now go clean yourself up! You smell like piss."

Again, Blitz was too scared to reply, so he just whimpered and slowly crawled away.

"What the bloody Hell just happened?" Baxter asked aloud in confusion.

"Shut up, I don't think we're allowed to talk." Angel Dust replied in a hushed voice.

Elsewhere, Crymini had crouched into a submission position at Charlie's feet. Wagging her tail excitedly and panting heavily as she looked up at the Demon Princess with eyes full of admiration and lust.

"Oh, God help us." The angler demon groaned in exasperation.

"Yo, Boss Ma'am." Husk called from over by the window, seemingly indifferent to everything that had just happened. "Not to piss on your personal triumph, but we've got a situation over here."

"Ugh. What is it this time, Husk?" Charlie asked annoyedly.

"Well, I could be wrong, but it looks like Alastor, Katie Killjoy and like a thousand Fallen Angels are on the front lawn."

"What?" the Demon Princess exclaimed, before calming herself back down again. "Okay, everyone stay back. I'll take care of this."

With that said, Charlie marched straight for the front door and flung it wide open. And sure enough, there on the front porch were Alastor, Katie Killjoy and her Uncle Samael; easily three of her five least favorite people in the universe right now; the other two being her Dad and Helsa, of course.

"Good afternoon, Your Majesty." Katie Killjoy said with that sickeningly phony smile of hers. "You're looking well."

"I'm in no mood for any of you. Get lost." She replied bluntly.

"Well, someone's cranky today." The insectoid demon said amusedly. "But maybe this will cheer you up."

From seemingly out of nowhere, Katie produced a smartphone and held it up for Charlie to see. The screen was opened to a page on F-U-Tube featuring a video of herself castrating her father; a video which had apparently been posted earlier that morning and already had over ninety thousand likes.

"What the fuck is this?" she asked suspiciously.

"What does it look like, Cupcake? It's a video of you emasculating your daddy."

"I know what it is, smartass. I meant how did this get on the internet?"

"Well, there could be two possible explanations." Katie said slyly. "Either I planted a bunch of hidden cameras in the Castle the last time I was there, or I'm bad at math."

"You did this? But… But why?"

"Don't get the wrong idea, sweet cheeks. This was more anti-him than pro-you." The ex-reporter explained. "Honestly, I wasn't expecting to be able to use anything this soon. I thought I'd have to wait until Danny was in Heaven where Lucifer couldn't touch him. But thanks to you, that's not really an issue anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll field that one." Said Samael in his trademark monotone. "I'm afraid the situation with your Father is more serious than we initially realized. His castration damaged him not only physically, but spiritually and psychologically as well. And since something like this has never happened before, we're not sure when or if he'll fully recover."

"Did I really hurt him that badly?" she asked, showing only a slight hint of concern.

"I'm afraid so. It's been almost a full day and he's still too weak to even sit up. By our best estimate, it will take him at least seven decades to regain his full strength and even then he'll likely never be the same emotionally. Having your testicles removed by your own daughter can be quite the spirit breaker, I presume."

"Oh my."

"Indeed. And with Lucifer unfit to lead for the foreseeable future, it would seem we are in need of a new master."

"Wait, Wait, Wait. You want me to take over as Queen of Hell?"

"Not exactly." The deadpan angel said dully. "Your father is still the King, at least officially. But given his current state, he is unfit to serve as our Alpha Angel."

"Alpha Angel? That's a thing?"

"Is it really so surprising? We Angels were made to obey the will of a Higher Power. And in the absence of our Father and Older Brother, the next logical choice is you."

"Me?"

"That's right."

"So wait, after all this time, you're just gonna abandon my Dad and come work for me? Just like that?"

"It's our nature. We need someone to tell us what to do."

"And you couldn't have picked a better leader." Katie jumped in sycophantically. "After all, Her Majesty is the wisest, most beautiful…"

"How stupid do you think I am?" the Demon Princess asked sternly. "You're just sucking up to me so I'll let you stay here. You just want protection from the next Cleansing."

"Not true, I also want to piss off your dad." The insectoid admitted. "But if you're not swayed by flattery, then just think about all the benefits of having someone like me in your corner."

"Such as?"

"Well… as an ace reporter and former news anchor, I know every sleazy, underhanded trick a demon could use to discredit you and your Hotel. And more importantly, I know how to counter them. Get the picture?"

"Yes, I think I do." Charlie admitted reluctantly. "Sigh. Alright, I'll give you one chance, but only one chance. So if you're gonna live here then you're gonna have to follow my rules, all of them, and if you break even one, you're out on your ass. Got it?"

"Spoken like a true Alpha."

The Demon Princess just rolled her eyes at this cheap attempt to earn her favor, and then shifted her focus onto her third visitor.

"But you are most definitely not welcome!" she said to the Radio Demon furiously.

"Moi?" he asked innocently.

"Oui, toi!"

"Mais pourquoi?"

"Because you're a troublemaking asshole!"

"So we're done with the French?"

"Get off my property!"

"Oh come now, Dearie. There's no need to be so hostile. After all, I helped expose your Father's sinister deception."

"You could've done that without forcing Marcy to reveal her secret! I could've had two more months with Vaggie instead of just a few hours! Hell, maybe we could've found a way to break the curse! But now we'll never know because of your insane need to stir the pot! So give me one good reason why I shouldn't just boot you over the horizon!"

"Because now that your Father's cut you off, I'm your only source of income."

"Good point. Welcome back."

"Hot dog!"

And with that, Charlie suddenly found herself with not one, but two unscrupulous, untrustworthy allies; plus an army of Fallen Angels whose loyalty was dubious at best. This was a most unusual situation and obviously it would lead to some difficulties down the road, but strangely enough, in that moment, the Demon Princess felt quite confident.

She didn't know if it was her new status as Alpha Angel or the knowledge that Demons all over Hell were starting to take her seriously thanks to that video, but for whatever reason, Charlie suddenly felt like she could take on the world and then some.

So, in keeping with this attitude, she stood up straight, puffed out her chest, fixed her new minions with a confident look and said,

"Alright everyone, let's get to work!"

End Notes:

Only one chapter to go and I couldn't be more excited.

I think you're all really gonna like how this turns out.

So stay tuned.

Peace.