Thanks for the love for this story this week! Guest -Thank you! Those who don't get alerts - I posted a mini omake chapter in the middle of this week that told part of Ch. 32 from Ulquiorra's POV - check it out if you missed it!

Chapter 34: Complicated/Confessions

Orihime's breaths came in shallow draws as she fought her own anatomy in an attempt to lengthen and bow her torso. The tension in her legs caused them to tremble, further disturbing the equilibrium in her breasts, which were heated and swollen as they pressed up against something hard and warm. Whatever was on top of her moved against and inside of her. She gasped as she felt wet lips press against her neck briefly and then heard her name whispered on heated breath: "Orihime".

Suddenly she felt the tension snap, and a moment later she was left feeling blissfully relaxed. A hand took hers softly, and she cracked an eye open as she brought it to her cheek, absently noting the length and fairness of its fingers. She sighed in satisfaction and looked down not to see the expected spiky orange head resting against her chest, but a mop of soft black. The head moved, turning its face to hers and opening its eyes. Sparkling emeralds revealed themselves to her as she sucked in a sharp breath.

xXxXx

Orihime sat up suddenly in her bed disturbed, out of breath, and in need of a shower. She brought a trembling hand to the side of her head as she tried to make sense of her dream. She stared blindly at her bedspread, alternating between shock and shudders of shameful appreciation as she and recalled the details of the dream. She had had dreams before of Ichigo, faceless men, and even some of her other male friends, but they were never as explicit or vivid as this one, and never had she woken up in the middle of the night with the evidence of such a dream still fluttering in her core and soaking her underpants.

Orihime shook her head to clear away the images of the dream; recalling them did nothing to provide her with any sort of understanding and only made her bodily concerns more apparent. She looked up, and noting that it was still dark outside, picked her phone up off her nightstand to check the time. When she did, she was surprised to see that she had one unread text message from the previous day. She opened the message to read:

3:45 p.m.

To: Orihime Inoue

From: Ulquiorra Cifer

This is the first instance in which I might advise that you are overconfident in your beliefs.

'Eh?' Orihime thought to herself. The message didn't make sense on its own. She went back to reread her previous message:

'…be careful, Ulquiorra, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were flirting with me!...'

In her sleepy, post-orgasmic state, it didn't all make sense right away. But as her brain slowly put the pieces together, her face reddened in mortification. It couldn't be! Had all her friends been right? Did Ulquiorra actually look at her that way?

And, if that was true, what could he have been thinking when she dragged him into that private alcove at the shrine after school, blushing and not backing down as he got close enough to touch her. What must he think of her acting that way after he more or less confessed to flirting with her?!

And what did her dream mean? Was she completely over Ichigo? Was she attracted to Ulquiorra? She couldn't even think about it right now. The only thing she was sure of was that something significant had changed, and she didn't know if she could ever look at Ulquiorra innocently again.

It felt as though the world was spinning too fast for her. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, trying to rein in her muddled thoughts. She looked outside again; there was a trace of light in the sky now. She looked again at her phone; in her eagerness to read Ulquiorra's message, she had overlooked the time. It was now just after 6:00 a.m. At least she had gotten a decent amount of sleep before being woken up in such an indecent manner, she thought. Although it was earlier than she usually started getting ready for school, the idea of staying in her current state repulsed her enough to get out of bed and into the shower. Her only comforts now were the knowledge that no one else would ever know what she had dreamed about and that she didn't have plans to meet Ulquiorra again until Thursday.

xXxXx

Soul Society

Evening

After telling Urahara about his hollow's recommendation for rest and rejuvenation, Ichigo soon found himself at hot springs inn in Rukongai with the exile and Yoruichi. They were joined by Shinji, Rangiku, Rukia and Renji shortly thereafter, and he now sat in a small banquet room watching his companions get wasted. Ichigo partook in small quantities that night, heeding the 'rejuvenation' part of the recommendation as well as the rest part. Despite not joining the group in their excess, he was still enjoying himself. After finally making some progress this week, he felt like he had some room to breathe.

He had decided to really try to make sure he was in top shape before returning to his inner world, meaning not only should he be healed, well-fed, and rested, but also that he had his head on as straight as possible too. The latter part of that equation seemed the most daunting, but Ichigo had faced enough hurdles in the past several weeks that he had begun to feel a bit numb toward adversity. To that end, then, he was determined to try talking to someone tonight about his troubles, no matter how embarrassing or emasculating it felt.

After the group's banquet was finished, the party went to the hot spring. It was a large outdoor natural bath that was divided down the center with a bamboo fence, one side for men, one for women. The fence provided modesty but allowed for conversation to be carried through it. After showering off, the partiers made their way to the spring one by one, melting into the steaming water. Yoruichi and Rangiku hadn't let the party stop when they left the banquet hall, ordering some bottles of sake which they floated on a wooden tray in the bath. As a result, the busty pair spent much of their time in the bath passing small bottles of sake through a small gap in the fence back and forth with the men, much to Shinji and Kisuke's delight. Bathers on both sides of the fence took the opportunity to sneak peeks from time to time.

Ichigo sat away from the fence, on a rock near the gurgling spout that delivered hot water to the bath, muffling the sound of the others' voices. The sulfuric smelling liquid came nearly to his shoulders and his face was covered with a small white towel. He was not bothered by the revelry around him, content to just be in the presence of fun while he let all the stress in his body dissipate. He sat like that for a long time, and before he noticed, Renji had been taken to his and Rukia's room after passing out from the heat. Shinji had offered to take him, leaving only Ichigo and Urahara in the men's side of the spring. After about twenty more minutes or so, Yoruichi left and Urahara excused himself, presumably to entertain one another in private. This left only Ichigo on his side and Rukia and Rangiku on the women's side. Ichigo thought to call it a night as well, before he heard voices beckoning him to the gap in the fence.

"Say, Kurosaki-kun, come and have a drink with us. We're not tired yet," Rangiku called pleasantly.

"Yes, Ichigo, come chat with us!" Rukia agreed. Ichigo found that he did not object to the suggestions, and waded his way over to the gap in the fence, mindful of keeping his privates covered with the white towel as he went.

Sitting down, Ichigo ventured a discreet peek through the gap, getting a look at Rukia's shoulder as she sat with her back toward the fence. The view was suddenly obstructed when Rangiku thrust a hand holding a small sake cup toward Ichigo. "Cheers!" she said softly as she withdrew her arm, allowing Ichigo a rather clear view of her ample bosom as it bobbed in the water like a pair of grossly oversized apples. Ichigo cleared his throat awkwardly and decided it best for the 'rest' part of his plan to turn his back toward the women while they conversed this way.

Rangiku started. "So tell us, Kurosaki-kun. What's on your mind tonight?"

Now that it was just Rukia, who knew him about as well as anyone, and Rangiku, who had proven to him to be a sympathetic and discreet listener, Ichigo felt eager to confess. "Well, first of all, I'd like to apologize to you two. The last time we spoke I nearly bit your heads off."

The woman stayed quiet, but nodded in agreement. Ichigo waited for a bit before continuing. "Well, the thing is, at that time I was really frustrated. Not only because I wasn't making any progress with my training, but because of Inoue."

"Orihime-chan?" Rangiku asked, not sounding entirely surprised.

"Mm," Ichigo grunted affirmatively. "I know I broke her heart, and I feel like a piece of shit about it."

Rukia chimed in, "Ichigo, it's true that she is probably hurting, but aren't you as well? And did you not end things with her for noble reasons?"

Ichigo forced a bittersweet smile. "I did. And I am, but not as much as she is, I'm sure."

"How can you be so sure of that?" Rangiku asked. She didn't have an ounce of antagonism in her voice. She really was on his side tonight, and she wanted him to know it.

Ichigo sighed, regret evident. "She told me she loved me."

Both women gasped. They remained silent for a moment as they figured out what he was implying.

"And you don't love her, Ichigo?" Rukia finally asked.

Ichigo sighed again. "To be honest, Rukia, no, I don't. Not yet, anyway. But I think I could have. I could see us dating and then going off to college together and who knows, from there. Whenever I thought of my future, I saw her in it, but I screwed everything up. I pushed things too far, too fast with her."

Rangiku's heartstrings played a melancholy song, pain for both the boy on the other side of the fence and her friend in Karakura thrumming in her chest. She closed her eyes, asking what needed to be clarified, "Did you sleep with her?"

"No, but I let her think I wanted to. She wanted to," He put his head in his hands, pushing on his eyes. "I wasn't there yet. I knew I wasn't there yet. But I played along anyway, just so that I could get her to restore me. I led her on and then rejected her. I'm such an asshole." He pushed on his eyes harder as his breathing got rougher.

Rukia's heart felt heavy as well. "You know, Ichigo, we all pushed you together. Remember your birthday party? We knew you wouldn't ask her out without some pushing."

"I know, Rukia. But it the end, I'm responsible. I just went with the flow without thinking about the consequences. And to be fair, I really did like her. I do like her. A lot. I'm just not ready for her."

"She was ready for you though…" Rangiku thought out loud.

"…yeah," Ichigo said, shame thickening his voice.

"Well, Ichigo, perhaps this is for the best then. As you know, you two need to be separated now, anyway, for safety's sake. And if I know Orihime, I'm sure when you are ready she'll welcome you back," Rukia said, trying to encourage him.

"She might, but do I want her to? She should be angry with me. I broke her heart. I broke Orihime fucking Inoue's sweet, generous, little heart," Ichigo caught himself raising his voice and quieted down before continuing. "What kind of person does that to someone like her? What kind of person would she be if she just waited around and took me back? She could have anyone. I want her to have some kind of self-respect, you know?" he trailed off, then added, "And one thing about the whole thing always bothered me. Why was she so eager to get serious? Why would she be so willing to, you know, with me?"

Rangiku took addressed his last question. "You have to understand, Kurosaki-kun, Orihime-chan's situation is much different than yours. She loved you for a long, long time before you got together. She has also been all alone for a long, long time. She has been mostly independent for a long time. She doesn't feel the need to 'stretch her wings', so to speak. Also, her future doesn't have the safety net of family to fall back on unless she makes one for herself. I am not saying she is trying to ensnare you, Kurosaki-kun. She just is very aware of her vulnerability and loneliness. To her, you represent everything she's always wanted: love, family, and stability. And just to be clear, she loves, or at least loved, you for you, not because of something you could potentially give her. She was content to stay by your side as forever even if only as your friend. But the other things may explain why she was so ready and willing to get so serious so fast."

Ichigo didn't really understand. "But don't you think she shouldn't? She should want to have some fun before growing up and getting tied down. It's not like I want to her to play the field, or anything, but if she had the opportunity to study somewhere far away, or go backpacking through Europe with Tatsuki, or blow all her money on wasabi and plushies, don't you think she should make sure she has the freedom to do that while she still can? I just don't understand. I didn't want her to get into a situation she'll regret, especially not with me."

Rukia chimed in. "I can see that you still care about her very much, Ichigo, but I think you should let her decide how she feels and what she wants. And when it comes to her relationship with you, she may move on. She may wait. Either way, you have to accept and respect her decisions, just as she must accept and respect yours."

Ichigo didn't respond, so Rukia brought up an thought that she had been toying with. "You know, sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time. Renji and I went through years of separation and a strained relationship after he joined the 6th. It was only after you brought us back together, when I was about to be executed, that we were able to make it work. My point is, timing is really important. You are young, and you do have a lot to do before you settle down. You have your hollow to deal with now as well. You're not wrong to want to wait to be so strongly attached to someone. You never know if in the future things might turn around for you two. And who knows, maybe you weren't meant to be, but don't beat yourself up because it didn't work out now. These things just happen sometimes."

"Thanks, Rukia."

"But Ichigo, I just want to make sure you understand, she might not remain single. She may find someone else that makes her happy. Are you going to be alright if that happens?"

"I hope so. I have to be."

xXxXx

Orihime was very quiet in school on Tuesday. She was irrationally afraid that if she attracted too much attention, everyone would figure out her secret.

Wednesday was the same, although now there was the added pressure of knowing that the next day she planned to meet the subject of her scandalous dream. By the end of the day, Tatsuki had had enough of Orihime hiding behind her hair and startling every time someone spoke to her. She was determined to figure out what was up with her. Tatsuki's mom was out of town and Chad had to work that night, so she cut out of karate early and dashed over to the handicrafts clubroom as club ended. She arrived just as Orihime was powerwalking toward the exit.

"Hey, Orihime!" Tatsuki shouted before Orihime reached the stairs. "Wait up!"

Orihime yelped and turned her attention toward her best friend, although her feet would not stop her descent.

"What's the hurry Hime? Big date tonight?"

Orihime's face flushed maroon, her eyes widened in shock.

"Wait a minute, I was just kidding. Do you have a date?"

"No!" Orihime protested, finally finding her voice.

"Well something is up with you. How about you come home with me for dinner? My mom's out of town so I need the company."

Orihime pouted. She knew it would be nearly impossible for her to say no to Tatsuki, especially when she had put it like that, but she didn't want to talk about what was bothering her. Finally, she sighed and nodded in defeat.

xXxXx

The two girls stood side by side doing the washing up after dinner; Orihime washed as Tatsuki dried and put the clean dishes away. Dinner had been relatively quiet on Orihime's end; Tatsuki filled her in on how well things were going with Chad, and every time she asked Orihime about herself, Orihime had conveniently stuffed her mouth full of more food.

But now, as Tatsuki put the last plate away, there was nothing for Orihime to hide behind. "Come on, we need to talk, Orihime," Tatsuki said, leading the way to the living room. Orihime obeyed, tucking herself into the corner of the sofa and pulling one knee up to her chin, hugging it tightly, waiting for the anticipated interrogation to begin.

"So, what's been bothering you this week? You'd been doing so well recently and now it's like, well, it's not exactly the same as when you broke up with Ichigo, but you are super distracted and acting like you are hiding something. What gives?"

Orihime closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath, before she answered, "Well, actually, nothing happened, it's just…" she couldn't continue. She didn't know how.

"Just what? Did somebody say something to you? Has Ishida been harassing you about Ulquiorra? I noticed him being all judgey lately."

"Well, actually, you're right about that," Orihime said, furrowing her brows, suddenly offended by the memory. She hadn't really considered how rude it was until Tatsuki brought it up. "That is a big part of it, I think."

"I figured. I mean, I know you don't think so, but Ishida at least likes you a little, and he is kinda friends with Ichigo, so I guess it makes sense that he wouldn't like you hanging out with a new guy, but that doesn't mean he has the right to tell you what to do!" Tatsuki argued passionately, piggy-backing on Orihime's irritation.

"Right!?" Orihime said, encouraged by Tatsuki's outrage. "He can't tell me what to do! He doesn't have to like it, but he doesn't need to lecture me! I am older than him! Ok, only by a couple months, but still, who does he think he is? It's like he feels superior to me or something!" Orihime's voice had risen quite a bit as she went on. Complaining about things was cathartic, she was learning. "Besides, it's not like he always makes the best choices. He was the one who told Kurosaki-kun to visit me while he was training, and we all know how well that turned out."

"Yeah!" Tatsuki interjected, very much enjoying and encouraging her friend's continuing rant.

"And if what you say is true and he does like me, then too bad for him! It's not my fault that he never expressed an interest in me before Kurosaki-kun did first. It's not my fault that he still doesn't say anything and Ulquiorra does!"

"WHAT?!"

"What?"

"Ulquiorra does?" Tatsuki asked with an excited squeal.

"Wait, what? No, he didn't say anything…" Orihime attempted to backtrack poorly. Her body language screamed that she was lying as she looked down at her fingertips, bringing them together and apart, and chewing on the inside of her blushing cheeks.

"Liar! What did he say?" Tatsuki asked with an excited grin.

Orihime's cheeks flared scarlet and she took a deep breath. "Well, he didn't exactly say anything directly, but he kind of admitted to flirting with me."

"Oh, is that all?" Tatsuki asked, only partially deflated. "I thought it would be something more interesting than that. Why are you so embarrassed about it?"

Orihime huffed in defeat. "It's not what he said, it's that it's him. If you knew him from before, you'd know that's quite a leap for him. But really, the biggest deal isn't that he said anything, it's me."

"What do you mean?"

Orihime looked at her friend with a pained expression, agonizing how to tell her that she was considering the remote possibility of giving up her long-held affection for their mutual friend - Tatsuki's best childhood friend - for the same man who killed him in his past life. Orihime closed her eyes and took a bracing breath. "I told Ichigo I loved him."

Tatsuki's face held an expression of deep confusion. "What? I thought we were talking about you and Ulquiorra."

"I need to confess this to someone first, Tatsuki-chan. Please?"

Tatsuki nodded, suddenly quite earnest.

"I told Ichigo I loved him. I told him, and he didn't say it back. I didn't worry about it too much at the time, because I thought he would do it the next time or something like that, but he never did. Lately, I've been wondering: how long should I wait for him to say it? Forever? A week? A year? I don't know."

Tatsuki did not respond, waiting for Orihime to continue, and not really knowing what to say.

"Well, what do you think, Tatsuki-chan?"

"Oh," she answered, startled. "Um, I guess it depends. What do you think?"

"Well, I used to think forever. I promised him five lifetimes of love before I went to Hueco Mundo. Did I ever tell you that?"

"You did what?" Tatsuki asked, incredulous.

"I did. He was asleep; he didn't even know I was there, but I went to him and told him I would love him for five lifetimes. What kind of person says something like that, and then when he's gone for a couple months, even considers being interested in someone else?" Orihime's tears were threatening to spill over her darkened cheeks as she confessed what she felt was her most grievous sin.

"Orihime, that was almost two years ago. A lot has changed since then. You don't have to hold yourself to a vow you made alone and in secret anyway. And before you say it, I know you still love Ichigo, well a part of you still loves him at least, and maybe a part of you always will. But he was the one who broke up with you. You are allowed to try to be happy, Hime. Even if it's with someone else."

Orihime started to sob. "But Tatsuki-chan, I don't know if I can. And then, of all people, the one who has made me happiest is Ulquiorra Cifer! It's unbelievable. How can I betray Kurosaki-kun that way?"

Tatsuki started to cry in sympathy. She grabbed Orihime by the shoulders and held firmly until they made eye contact. "It's not a betrayal, Hime. You've got to understand that. You are not in a relationship with Ichigo anymore. You can be with whoever you want. Besides, you were the one who offered your love to him, and he didn't take it. I don't know what he was thinking, and I'm not saying this to hurt you, but obviously his feelings were not as strong as yours. You have to give yourself a break and stop blaming yourself for everything that went wrong. You were honest. He was the one who kept lying and fucking things up. And who cares if the person who makes you happiest is Ulquiorra, or Uryuu, or Keigo, for that matter? You deserve happiness, Hime. More than anyone I know."

Orihime threw her arms around Tatsuki's neck and wept, pained sobs wracking her small frame as she allowed the guilt she had been holding onto soak Tatsuki's shoulder. After several minutes, she finally pulled back, sniffling and reaching around for a tissue.

"Hime, you may as well use my sleeve at this point," Tatsuki joked through a half smile, pointing to her damp shoulder, and using said sleeve to wipe her own eyes.

Orihime gave a choked giggle, and smiled through bleary, puffy eyes. She found a tissue and wiped her face, then inhaled and exhaled dramatically. "Thanks, Tatsuki-chan. I should have talked to you sooner."

Tatsuki merely shook her head in an 'I told you so' fashion, then pushed herself away from Orihime as if to change the mood. "So, tell me about Ulquiorra. Do you like him?"

Orihime looked up at her a bit shyly. "I think I am starting to…"

Tatsuki gave her a pleased smile and squeezed her hand. "Good. He's pretty hot, you know. Not my type, but daaaamn," she said with a far-off, appreciative gaze.

Orihime giggled and blushed again, "I know," she whined. "There is something about him that is just so…" she trailed off, absently tracing her lower lip.

Tatsuki raised an eyebrow knowingly. "Sexy?"

Orihime hid her face in her hands and refused to respond.

"I knew it! I can't blame you, I mean, I saw him move at the dojo, he has great control and stamina, and the way he was doing his warmup drills shows he knows how to handle his sword…" she teased.

"Tatsuki…" Orihime whined from behind her hands.

Tatsuki laughed. "Sorry Hime, you're just too easy to tease."

Orihime looked up at her with an angry expression, which was not even close to being believable, and both girls burst out into laughter.

"So when will you see him again?" Tatsuki asked, trying to steer the conversation in a direction that was somewhat less emotional.

"Tomorrow after club. We're going to continue my Shun Shun Rikka training. But first, I'm taking him to get a haircut."

"Good, I bet he could use one by now." Tatsuki sighed, glad to see her friend acting normally again.

"Yeah, I just don't know how I'm going to face him now. I mean, before I was in denial about being attracted to him, but now, I won't know what to do with myself."

"Just do what feels right, Hime. You'll figure it out," Tatsuki said, and she believed it.

Thanks for reading! Next week should be less emo and more action, please let me know what you think!