After dropping Rose off at her dorm, rather than going upstairs to my room, I walked slowly through the warm air, relishing the sun on my skin. Aside from guarding duties, I never got to enjoy the sun, and then I was always focused on something else. I decided to take a walk through the woods surrounding the academy before I went to bed. It wasn't too late, and whilst would be up early for training, I wanted to do something that was for me.
I turned off the route that would have taken me to the guardian rooms, and instead walked across the well-manicured lawn that surrounded the front of the academy. Its tall, old buildings looked impressive in the sunlight and I felt slightly guilty for walking across the lawn that someone had clearly spent so long working on. Nonetheless, I headed towards the tree-line that I knew so well, seeking the solitude and peace I knew it would bring.
My thoughts almost immediately focused on Rose and her situation as I began walking through the mossy trees, smelling the relaxing scent of pine and wilderness. I was angry at how she had treated Christian, angry at how she could show such disregard for another person's feelings, and angry that Christian hadn't stuck up for himself more. I didn't even care if what she had said was true or not, however the princess felt towards him, it was none of her business, and certainly not her job to be so cruel in telling him.
As I pondered the situation further, I could feel myself getting even angrier, without any real cause. I recognised the sensations and emotions around it, remembering how this same blind rage used to consume me as a boy and even up until I left school. I had learnt to tame it, even if I had to remind myself of that sometimes.
I took a deep breath, and started to organise my thoughts and feelings. Yes, I was definitely angry at Rose. That anger was fair enough, and I would have to deal with it. My anger at the princess was not fair though. I didn't know whether there was any truth behind Rose's words or not. As I began thinking about the various things that were making me angry, I realised that there was a huge reason that I hadn't acknowledged, or even realised was playing a part in my anger.
I realised that, despite my professionality and guardian mask, Rose's behaviour reminded me that she was still a child. And this behaviour of hers was to be expected from a young and volatile teenager. She was often so mature and capable around me, and the way that she could read me when other people couldn't, often fooled me into believing she was much older than she really was. Just like with the Jessie incident, I was so mad because her behaviour was reminding me of her age.
But why would her age bother me? She was only my student, and all my students were young. That's why they were even in school. So why her? I thought about how we were in the gym when training together, and I thought about what had happened to me when I saw her in just a bra. I thought about how my body had reacted when I was pressed up against her after that silly surprise attack.
As I walked out from the woods on the other side and the academy, and headed back towards the dorms, it hit me. I was so angry about Rose's behaviour because I didn't think of her as my student. I thought of her as my friend, maybe even a friend that I lusted after, which was wrong on so many levels. The shocking realisation almost made me stop dead, as the thought swirled through my mind.
I opened the door to my room, and flopped onto the bed with a huge sigh. Lust. That must be what all this was about. I'd had women before, quite a few of them, and so I wasn't a stranger to the feeling. I hadn't been with anyone since coming to the academy, and so this must just be a natural reaction. Rose had a great body, and incredible body, and anyone who didn't see that would have to be blind. Clearly, spending so much time with her had made me realise that, and whilst it was wrong to lust after a student, nobody knew. Nobody would know, and lust was easy to manage. Certainly, much easier to manage than love, which I was still sure I had never experienced.
All of a sudden, I was jolted awake by a shrill ringing, I opened my eyes blearily, and realised that I must have fallen asleep. I rolled over, and picked up the phone next to my bed.
"Belikov" I answered gruffly, my voice full from sleep.
"I'm terribly sorry to wake you Guardian Belikov, but I have Rosemarie Hathaway here requesting you. She seems okay to me, but is insistent that she needs you and won't tell me why. I can just say that you will see her in the morning?" The dorm matron said kindly.
"No, no, its ok. I'll be down in a minute" I replied, before putting the phone down.
I groaned and sat up. After last-nights revelation, I really didn't think seeing her would do me any favours, but I trusted that her intentions were good. I thanked the man upstairs that I had fallen asleep in my uniform. However grim it may be, it saved a lot of time not having to get dressed. I ran a hand through my hair and grabbed a tie to pull it back, shutting my door behind me. I rubbed my face as I walked down the stairs, and by the time I opened the door to the dorm lobby, I was awake and alert.
I saw Rose stood to the side, her arms wrapped protectively around her body, and a haunted look on her face. She was wearing a loose hoodie and joggers, and had clearly jumped straight out of bed from the look of her hair.
"Lissa" I said as I got closer to her, registering the look in her eyes.
She nodded, and we set off at a quick pace towards the Moroi dorm. I noticed Rose flinch slightly as the bright sunlight hit her face, blinding her a little. If I didn't get much sun, she got little to none, being a novice that wouldn't do guard duty. We kept up the pace, and soon reached the Moroi dorms, bursting through the main door. The matron was understandably startled by our entrance, but the shock soon turned to anger at us trying to get in. Despite being a member of staff at the academy, it was a given that guardians stayed mainly in novice dorms, and were unwelcome in Moroi student areas, aside from security.
I gave the matron a piercing glare that silenced any protests. I felt a little guilty knowing that it was the system that sucked, and she was only enforcing the rules, but I had bigger things to worry about.
"She's in the bathroom" Rose said, pushing her way past both the matron and I.
As we walked towards the bathroom, the matron went to follow Rose in.
"She's too upset. Let me talk to her alone first" Rose said, cutting the matron off from the bathroom entrance.
"Yes, give them a minute" I confirmed, backing Rose, and trusting that she knew best for the princess.
The matron looked like she was going to argue, but another look from me silenced her, and she huffed and stepped out of the way. I pushed open the door for Rose, allowing her in, before moving in front of it to stop anyone else entering. The matron and I waited outside in stony silence, and after a minute had passed, I knocked gently on the door, letting them know that I was going to enter.
"Just a sec" Rose called out, halting my entrance.
I took one look at the matron, and knew that Rose wasn't going to get any more time. I stayed put, hoping to buy them extra seconds, but she barged past me.
"We're coming in" she called, and opened the door.
I followed her in, figuring that if she went in, I might as well. The scene that greeted me shocked me tremendously. When Rose said the princess was in trouble, I hadn't expected this! Lissa was wearing the hoodie Rose had left the novice dorms in, but it wasn't the hoodie that shocked me, it was the blood smeared on her face. I ran over to her, looking for the gaping wounds that would bring such bleeding, before the princess quickly clarified.
"It's not mine" she said quickly. "It…it's the rabbit…"
I continued my search for any injuries, and deciding that it wouldn't be appropriate to ask her to remove the hoodie I asked;
"What rabbit?"
Lissa's face paled even more, and with shaking hands she pointed to the trash can in the corner.
"I cleaned it up so that Natalie wouldn't see".
I walked over to it, Rose following close behind me, and found a gory mass of blood, paper towels and flesh. It smelled fresh, and whilst it didn't bother me, I looked over at Rose and saw her face as white as a sheet with a focused expression on her face. Despite all of the killing training novices received, they were not prepared for the gore that came with it. I had grown accustomed to it with my years of service, but I had seen many a young guardian throw-up after their first kills or particularly gory fights. I was proud that she was handling it.
I moved back over to Lissa, bending down to meet her eyes.
"Tell me what happened" I asked, handing her tissues.
"I came back about an hour ago. And it was there. Right there in the middle of the floor. Torn apart. It was like it had…exploded. I didn't want Natalie to find it, didn't want to scare her…so I- I cleaned it up. Then I just couldn't… I couldn't go back…"
She began crying loudly, overcome with the events. Rose rushed over and started consoling her.
"Do you know who did it?" I asked her gently, not expecting an answer.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of blood-soaked, crumpled paper. I took it from her, and read it carefully.
I know what you are. You won't survive being here. I'll make sure of it. Leave now. It's the only way you might live through this.
My guardian training noted that leaving was what the person wanted, and that they certainly wouldn't be better off it they fled, but parted of me noted that I should keep a careful eye on Rose from now on. She wouldn't think rationally, and she had managed to flee once before.
"I'm going to get Ellen" the matron snapped, breaking me from my thoughts.
"Tell her we'll be at the clinic" I told her as she left, before facing Lissa. "You should lie down" I said kindly, worried about the shock and after-effect this would have upon her.
When she didn't move, Rose linked her arm through the princess'.
"Come on Liss. Let's get you out of here."
She slowly began walking and we headed towards the clinic, thankful of the curfew that prevented us from meeting anyone. When we arrived, a nurse rushed forward and offered to wake the doctors, but I declined.
"She just needs to rest" I confirmed, guiding her into a cubicle with a bed and sitting her down on it.
Almost immediately, Kirova appeared and began asking questions. Anyone could see that this wasn't the best time for it, but I didn't have the authority to question her. Unfortunately, Rose thought that she did.
"Leave her alone!" She demanded, jumping in between Kirova and Lissa. "Can't you see she doesn't want to talk about it? Let her get some rest first!"
"Miss Hathaway" Kirova began in a haughty voice. "You're out of line as usual. I don't even know what you're doing here."
I knew now that if I didn't intervene, things would get ugly, and once again, I didn't want Rose risking her good behaviour.
"May I speak with you Headmistress Kirova" I whispered, before leading her out of the room and down the hall so that Rose would not be able to hear our conversation.
"I do not wish to question your authority headmistress" I began, "But Rose was the one who alerted me that there was an issue, through the bond. I know that she isn't supposed to be here, but she was the only one that Vasilisa responded to".
"That, does not change the fact that she is out of order" the headmistress whispered back angrily. "She is a constant rule-breaker, and always appears when there is trouble. If it wasn't princess Vasilisa who was the target here, she would be my number one suspect".
"While that may be the case, you have to agree that she has been on good behaviour recently. That, and the fact that she would do anything to help the princess. Anything at all."
I looked pointedly at the headmistress, reminding her of the sacrifice guardians willingly gave, and she rolled her eyes and sighed. She stormed back to the bay, and I just hoped my words were enough.
"You may stay with her for a little while" she said gruffy to Rose, before turning back towards the princess. "We'll have janitors do further cleaning and investigation in the bathroom and your room, Miss Dragomir, and then discuss the situation in detail in the morning".
"Don't wake Natalie" whispered Lissa in a small voice. "I don't want to scare her. I cleaned up everything in the room anyway."
After one more survey of the room, Kirova turned and left, and I followed, wanting to give the girls some time alone. I headed back to my room after letting Rose know that morning training would be cancelled, and telling the nurse on duty to call me if any problems arose. I flopped down on my bed after getting changed, and fell asleep almost immediately, exhausted from the situation.
I woke up late, unsurprisingly after my disturbed night, and I was glad I had cancelled practice. I had a day off from guarding classes and only had a boundary shift before Rose's training today. I picked up my book and read for the whole morning, before grabbing lunch and heading to my shift. It passed quickly, and before long I was at the gym ready for Rose.
She entered only a little late, dropped her bag, and headed straight out for her run. I didn't question it, and did some strength work of my own whilst I waited. She returned in a very good time, and so we ran through a few drills before practicing on the boxing bags for the rest of the session, again in silence. I told her we were finished, and she picked up her bag and left. The whole session she had been silent, and it worried me a great deal. Even when she was pissed, she would make little quips or complain.
I shrugged it off, thinking that she was maybe just tired, and did my own workout, before leaving the gym, and heading towards the cafeteria to grab some food. As I walked, Emil, a guardian I liked and sometimes chatted with, caught up with me.
"How you doing Dimitri?" He asked friendly.
"Yeah, I'm good Emil, you?"
I wasn't really in the mood for a long chat, and just wanted food.
"I heard about the drama last night, must have been crazy man!" He began, oblivious to my social ques. "I also heard another rumour about Rose this afternoon from a group of novices".
I looked over him, suddenly tuned in and wondering if this was the cause of her silence.
"Apparently, she's been getting it on with Jessie Zeklos and Ralf Sarcozy! I even heard that she let them both drink from her. At once!"
I flew around, turning to him, with a furious expression on my face.
"She did no such thing" I growled. "She would never let anyone do that, let alone the both of them."
Emil looked at me shocked, his eyebrows raised.
"Chill out man, I was just telling you what I heard!"
"Well don't. You shouldn't spread gossip about other people, especially when it could ruin the reputation of an amazing guardian for the rest of her life."
Emil shrugged and walked away, clearly intimidated and confused by my reaction. I looked down at my hands that were formed into tight fists, and forced myself to breathe. I could only imagine the pain and humiliation Rose was going through right now, and I wanted to help her. I didn't want her to feel like that.
I headed towards the Moroi dorms, to get the only person I knew would make things better. I knocked gently on her door.
"Guardian Belikov?" the princess asked, confused when she saw me.
"I was wondering if you would like to go and see Rose Princess." I said formally. "I am to believe that she could use a friend".
She quickly nodded and grabbed her coat before following me out. I mumbled an excuse that she needed to see Kirova to the matron, and we headed back towards the dhampir section.
"Wait here, I'll go get her" I said to Lissa leaving her outside an unused exit to the building, before heading in. It would be much easier to get Rose out than it would be to get Lissa in. I climbed the stairs quickly, and came to a stop outside her room. I knocked gently and waited, hoping she was awake. I heard movement, and then the door slightly opened.
I was as shocked as when I had found the rabbit last night when I saw Rose's face. Her eyes were puffy and red, and she had very clearly been crying, something I never expected to see. I looked away from her face, feeling my heart clench uncomfortably in response to her tears.
"Are you okay?" I asked gently, feeling so angry that someone had hurt her like this.
"It doesn't matter if I am, remember?" She met my eyes. "Is Lissa okay? This'll be hard on her".
I couldn't believe that throughout all this hurt and drama, she was more worried about the effect this would have upon Lissa than herself. She really would be an incredible guardian, and her reaction reminded me of the maturity that often confused me. I beckoned her to follow me, and headed back towards Lissa.
"Five minutes" I warned, before opening the exit door.
The Princess immediately hugged her, and I stepped away, giving them privacy. I leaned against the wall further away whilst they talked, and couldn't stop thinking about the horrific ways Moroi men abused female Dhampirs. This had hit a little close to home for me. After five minutes had passed, I moved back around into view.
"You've got to get back inside, Rose, before someone finds you".
Lissa headed off back to her dorm, not needed me to get her back in, and left Rose standing there. They had clearly discussed something important, and I felt happy that I had helped Rose. Helped cheer her up when she was sad. The pain in my heart caused by the tears eased a little.
Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed this chapter! We're pretty much halfway through the book now! I hope you agree with Dimitri's confusion around his feelings for Rose, I spent a long time thinking about what he would feel and decided that he probably wouldn't realise anything until a lot later. Let me know what you think!
Thanks to those who have already reviewed followed and faved, please leave a review for this chapter :)