A/N: I had a really long night (partying on a Wednesday is for cool people) so this took a while to get through. Anyways, I was listening to Atmosphere's "Yesterday" and suddenly had a thought – we don't know what happened to Andy's dad do we? So, here comes some wangst. I hope it's all right since that song really did a number on me (I highly recommend listening to it while reading this).
Anyways, remember you can hit me up on tumblr for requests, feedback, or whatever you want!
Andy didn't know how to handle the phone call. He was a little annoyed that his mom called him so early in the morning, and how she even got a hold of his cell number was sort of beyond him. He was having an awesome dream, jumping on stage to take over for Dave Matthews and finishing out the set because Dave had said he was the best singer he'd ever heard. Andy was kind of pissed that she interrupted that but then his mother started talking and everything seemed to melt.
For the first week April figured that dating Andy would just be a whirlwind of fun even if she did find herself now developing weird emotions towards him that were a little beyond wanting to party, but that day he had been incredibly distant. That certainly wasn't what April ever anticipated from him – to be honest she wasn't even sure Andy could have an emotion that fell anywhere near the "sad" spectrum of things. In the morning he shrugged her off and at first she was a little angry but the look in his eyes was a little different than she was expecting – he wasn't looking at her like there was boredom in his eyes or that he was even annoyed with her. It was so unusual but April swore that he looked like he just wanted to be left alone. So she did, going to work and trying to figure out why Andy was being so hesitant.
Later in the day she went and bought one of the massive hamburgers the cafeteria sold, hoping she could figure it out with him over a greasy lunch. She found him at his stand, twiddling his thumbs and playing with the little "out for lunch" sign sitting on the counter.
"Hey Andy," she tried at lunch, putting the tinfoil wrapped burger on the little counter by the chairs.
"Hey," he said quietly, glancing over to the burger.
"That one's yours," she explained, handing it over to him and showing him the granola bar she was going to have to consider her lunch that day.
"Thanks," was all he said while he slowly picked at the foil.
She didn't know why, maybe because it meant that she was going to be super bored for the rest of the day if he stayed in this mood, but seeing Andy this sad – if she had to guess he looked like he was depressed if anything – was making her feel all empathetic and gross. Hopping up to the other chair she sat there for a little while watching him carve out little shapes and figures out of the metallic foil, Andy never looking up or even really seeming to register that April was there.
April wanted to ask him what was wrong and she started to wonder why he wouldn't tell her what was bothering him, but she couldn't bring herself to actually say the words. She'd never dealt with someone in this state and not just made fun of them. While she was getting annoyed at herself for being confused over how to handle the situation, Andy finally took a bite of the burger and chewed furtively. Neither of them seemed to want to talk, so April just sat there taking bites out of the granola bar. After a while he put the burger down, returning to his weirdly introspective looking grimace.
"You okay?" she asked and realized that there was a little more compassion in her voice than she should have liked. "You've been acting all… I dunno, you're being weird today."
In response, Andy looked at her and April tried to focus on his eyes but there was something behind them that struck her by surprise. He was looking at her with a look that begged her – to do what, April didn't know but she felt compelled to do something. She didn't how to react to this change of atmosphere so April just tried her best to improvise with the situation. All she could think to do was take his hand in hers and lace her fingers through his, giving him a brief squeeze and an inquisitive look.
On any other day, and if it were any other person, April would have laughed at the idea of trying to comfort someone. She wasn't totally emotionless or disconnected from people, but none of them seemed worth giving a shit about to actually do something like that for. April figured she could do this for Andy though part of her didn't even know why it was so easy for her and was a little scared by the immensity and implication of that emotion.
"Sorry, it's just that I-I, y'know today's been kinda weird," he said with a smile that April knew well – the kind of fake plastered on one that people tried out to force themselves to be happy. "My uh, my mom called this morning and I guess my dad kinda died today."
He made a soft noise that straddled the line between a chuckle and a strangled gasp, trying on that same forced smile and looking down at the floor while his thumb pushed against April's hand a little harder than before. April thought she didn't know to handle this situation but now she really had no idea what to do – both of her parents were totally alive and incredibly annoying. Andy seemed a little broken by telling her this.
"It's really weird 'cause I came to work today and I thought I saw him, like, twice on the street," he told her, eyebrows furrowed and at this point white-knuckling April's hand. "That's dumb because he doesn't even live here, and I wanted to say some stuff but…"
"Andy, I'm sorry," April interrupted, looking at him in an attempt to catch his gaze. "I'm sorry I got mad at you this morning… I-I didn't know."
Reflecting, April realized that she had been more than a little terse with him when he brushed her off so casually. It made April feel a little sick and at the same time confused why she had.
"I just… I thought I'd, like, get to talk to him or something," he seemed to be ignoring April saying anything and continued on. "I mean, I haven't talked to him in forever… like, a couple years? I dunno, and he wasn't even that old, man."
April struggled to figure out what to even say to him at that moment. The only person that April had lost that mattered at all to her was her great-grandmother and that old witch – literally, April had found some of the creepy stuff in her closets and attic – dying hadn't put her in this sort of distress. So, in lieu of saying anything, she just continued to maintain that viselike grip on his hand. Andy laughed again, this time blinking rapidly and looking away from her and that again sent that strange sensation through April that she was a little disappointed.
"Hey, let's go somewhere else," she suggested, standing up and lightly pulling his hand. "We can talk outside or something."
Andy gave her a faint trace of a smile and followed her through the building to the little gravelly courtyard outside the Parks offices. At least there April could avoid the looks of the people walking through City Hall and only had to worry about a few others getting all voyeuristic on them from the Parks employees. Sitting down on the little grey bench abutting the wall of the building, April pushed herself right next to Andy and brought their intertwined hands up to her lap.
Andy was supposed to be a fun crush to her, the fact that they were going out and drinking and making out all the time was pretty cool she had to admit but April had honestly not expected much of anything to come out of this. Now, sitting next To Andy and letting him sit there, taking deep breaths and working up the nerve to talk, April didn't mind that she felt a little something more than that.
"Hey, you can talk to me dude," April suggested, giving him another supportive squeeze. "I don't hate you, so I promise I won't make fun of you."
"Thanks," Andy mumbled and gave her that same look like a begging puppy.
Instead of continuing like April anticipated, all Andy did was take his hand out from hers and push his arms underneath hers to pull her into a hug. April didn't really have these sorts of interactions with Andy and for some reason the hug felt more intimate than anything else they'd done despite the innocuous nature of the thing. She didn't care that he was alarmingly sweaty when he rested his cheek against her head, or that he seemed to be on the verge of crying. Instead April started to get angry at herself for being originally too ambivalent about Andy's sudden change of mood and then defensive at the idea that she cared about him that much to see that.
As far as she was concerned, sitting in City Hall with Andy pushing her over to lay his head down on her lap and stretch out across the little bench, April was okay with letting her guard down a little. Andy just lay there, tapping his thumb on her knuckles while she tried to figure out if running her hands through his hair would be too weird. Based on the fact that all he did was take a deep breath, she figured that was the right call.
"I'm sorry I'm being all emotional and stuff," Andy mumbled from her lap, his speech coming out a little garbled because his cheek was smashed against her knee, "I know you're not into that stuff."
"I'm not a robot Andy," she explained, laughing and glad that he gave her a light chuckle, "it's just that I kinda hate a lot of people and they try to be emotional at me but this is important and stuff."
"Thanks," he said again, and April found she liked the feeling she got in response to him saying that so quietly – a little burning, aching sensation that flared up and quickly dissipated.
They returned to a comfortable silence and a few times April considered asking him if he wanted to talk more about it. She figured if he wanted to then he'd speak up, so she kept playing with his hands and hair. It didn't occur to April that she would have to eventually go back to work and, to be honest, she would love to see someone come and try tearing this apart. Even if it didn't make a whole lot of sense why she cared so much, or the concept of Andy being so distressed about something, April wanted to be there to help Andy and that – if nothing else was strange – was bizarre to April. She could live with a little out of the ordinary though if it meant Andy would go back to being rambunctious, energetic Andy.
It was only a few more minutes of sitting there calmly in that position before he sat up next to her and gave her a real, if a little broken, smile that made April's stomach do that little burning thing again.
Andy didn't get over his dad's death for a while and, if he was being honest, he wasn't ever really going to "get over it" like people always seemed to be able to do. On that bench in City Hall though, he couldn't help but think that if he ever had a problem with it or just wanted to talk about his dad April would be there to listen. To him, that would do. To Andy having someone there at all to listen to him was the best thing he could hope for, even if half of the time he would just break down and stop talking. It didn't matter, because he'd look up and see a little streak of light running through some dark hair and maybe April's smile.