A/N: Anonymously requested baby-fluff, anyone? Well, that's what you're getting! Trying to get this one out early because I have the free time this afternoon and trying to squeeze one of these in on the weekends can be really hard. If you want to make my time writing these every day a little easier, remember that you can always give me feedback or send requests/prompts/whatever you kids call them these days in to my tumblr.

Ya'll are the best, each and every one of you that reviews or even just reads. It means a lot to me and helps me keep going on this insane journey.

At first, and even then that only meant a few hours, it was cute: all the crapping she did, all the screaming, and every single time she cried it would only take April picking her up to calm her down. Then, when night fell, everything Roberta did stopped being so cute and started to converge into a so-called hellish nightmare. April made a pathetic, complaining noise whenever they heard the baby start crying at around four in the morning and Andy was at the point where if he sat down for longer than ten minutes in the middle of the day he'd fall straight to sleep.

"Andy, can you please get her," April whimpered, rolling back to her side of the bed. "I actually want to sleep, y'know, for once."

"Yep," he answered quickly before his primitive brain took over and pushed him into sleep and an argument.

Walking back to the spare room turned nursery, Andy rubbed at his eyes and pretended he wasn't as ridiculously tired as she was. In reality he probably wasn't and Andy knew that, and she had taken many of the nightly duties for the past week, but his eyes were barely keeping open. That is, until he started getting closer to the crying baby. Then he was fully alert because it would be impossible to drift off in that sonic fury.

"Okay, okay, okay," he tried getting louder than her, but all that did was make her stop for a second before returning to belligerent screaming. "All right, that didn't work."

He tried picking her up and doing what he'd seen April do with her – which was mostly just rubbing her back and walking circles, mumbling how much she wanted to go back to bed – but that didn't really pan out either. Feeding her wasn't the solution since all the baby did was stare idly at him and the bottle. He couldn't blame her – a plastic nipple was definitely no match for the real thing – so Andy kept her cradled in his arms while he walked around the nursery trying to figure something out. She hadn't crapped herself awake at least, because the last time that had happened April had screamed for him in the middle of the night. He thought it was someone who had broken in based on the shrill yell, at first, but then all he had to find in the nursery was April waving her hands and pointing at the half-open diaper.

Turns out, Andy's way better at handling poop than April. Probably because he had been watching the labor firsthand, and not under an epidural, and everything sort of goes out the window after you see the excess bag – the contained blood behind the placenta, the dripping other materials, and everything else that Andy would have been just fine never seeing come out of his wife's body. But, there he was, and so he had developed the natural intestinal fortitude that shoehorned him into changing a lot of the more troublesome diapers.

"Shh, let's go to sleep," he tried whispering to his daughter to no avail. "We can go to sleep, and then wake up, and then you can cry and we can get mommy in here."

Then Roberta, against all evidence claiming it impossible, somehow started crying even louder. Giving a ragged sigh, Andy tried thinking harder about how he was supposed to get her to calm down. Everything he knew was starting to fall apart, all the tricks he'd picked up from April and Leslie.

"Oh duh," he exclaimed, remembering what Leslie said, "you're tired!"

The baby whined in response and Andy knew he was right. The only problem was that he didn't know how to get her back to sleep. Leslie told them that she might just kick herself awake or suddenly break her own sleeping schedule, forcing them to wake up at obscene hours often, and when April asked how Leslie managed that with three kids she gave Ben a quick smile and the bags under their eyes seemed to become more pronounced.

"You are the loudest little baby, like ever," he started singing to her, trying to figure out what the hell to do with her. "The loudest, the cutest, and the… uh, poopiest."

He landed on a melody with the last line – enunciating the little suffix at the end of every word – and went along with it. Soon he was humming it when he couldn't figure out words because he was trying to find something like a toy or a book he could read to her. If it wasn't a lullaby Andy wished he had his guitar so he could actually figure out a way to make a song out of it – he had to keep reminding himself that it was a lullaby because that vocal melody kicked ass.

"Roberta, your name takes too long to say," he half-sang while laughing and picking up the little weird baby chew toy that he could never remember the name of even though April constantly told him not to call it a chew toy. "How do I make that a line…?"

When he stopped singing and humming, finally having found the pacifier lying next to where she had been asleep prior to her tantrum, Andy noticed something amazing about the room: quiet. Looking down, she was already asleep with two of her fingers stuck in her mouth and quietly – and that was the key word, silently – snoozing. Putting her down gently and then, after maintaining the support on her head all the way down like April had been so terrified that he wouldn't be able to, Andy took a step back and watched her kick a little from the sudden change in close body heat.

Andy loved his kid: he loved watching her sit there with her strange baby face that always looked either confused or completely oblivious to everything, and giving up most times he'd usually spend writing songs or practicing music for her wasn't that bad, but none of it was bad. Except maybe getting up suddenly at five in the morning to do this and that was only terrible in the moment. Afterwards, watching her sleep gave him a weird proud feeling in his chest. It was like he'd finally done it – like he, Andy Dwyer, had made a freaking baby and with the coolest chick in the universe to top it all off.

Andy really did love his life.

Giving a sigh of relief, he ambled back to bed feeling like sleep would be the most beautiful thing in the world. When he opened the bedroom door April was sitting up, earbuds in and likely listening to one of those stupid relaxation mixes Leslie had sent her. Noticing him enter, she took one out and gave him an inquisitive expression.

"She's out for the count," he grumbled, flopping down next to her and rolling over in the hopes that he'd immediately pass out.

"That was fast," she admitted. "I'm impressed, that's probably your best time babe."

"Yeah, I know," he got out through a stifled yawn.

There was a moment there where Andy almost fell asleep – and it was so close he could almost feel his mind going completely blank – until he felt April move in the bed. Soon her head was on his shoulder and he had to turn around. She had a giant smile plastered on her face, almost like Andy in a candy store.

"Hi," he said eyes wide and worried that this was one of those nightmares where April turned out to be a serial killer.

"Thanks for getting her, but I couldn't sleep anyways," she raised her eyebrows. "So, I was thinking…"

"Honey, I'm pretty sure I'd just pass out," he yawned again and April scrunched her nose up at his breath. "Sorry, didn't uh, brush last night I guess."

"Last night?" she asked, laughing.

"Well, this week," he admitted. "Okay, I should probably get better at that right?"

"It's a definite maybe," she nodded.

Then she threaded her fingers through his hair and pushed herself even closer to him. Andy might have literally passed out if they tried having sex, and not for a lack of wanting since they hadn't had the time for it and April was as far off from wanting it for the first little while, but he couldn't resist it when she forcefully pushed his head towards hers. Or when her hands came dangerously close to peeling the skin off of his ass, or when she bit his top lip and opened her eyes slightly and it was all kind of a blur to Andy now that he tried thinking about which part was the hottest.

He could, however, admit that hearing Roberta start crying and April laughing against his chest telling him to go work his magic again wasn't quite as hot.