Author's note:
The following contains abuse, please only proceed if you are comfortable with the topic.
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Chapter 4:
Fracturing the Cycle
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Theena stood alone in her room, ignoring Lenya and Yeros' attempts at opening the door. She didn't want to face them. She didn't want to answer their questions. She didn't want to talk about….
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"Mother?"
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Theena was sitting on the bed, wiping away her tears. Kameo laid in a cradle near the wall, off to the side of the window.
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"What is wrong?" She didn't turn to look at Kalus, she didn't want her daughter to see her so upset. Kalus wondered in, holding a piece of paper.
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"I...I know you're sad Mother, so I thought that this could help you t-to feel better." The five year old held out the paper to her mother.
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Theena turned her head, seeing Kalus had her head down to hide her own puffy eyes, before glancing at the sheet.
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It was a drawing of all of them hugging Theena, with 'love Kalus and Kameo'. Theena looked at Kalus, who had been trying to hide the fact that she had been crying, by looking at Kameo. She didn't know what to think of her new baby sister just yet.
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"Kalus?" Kalus looked at her, and she saw Solon's eyes, she saw his hair, she saw him wounded and bleeding-
Theena turned away, stifling a sob.
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"Moth-?"
"Please Kalus, I cannot be around you right now, please leave!" She didn't even realised what she said until she heard Kalus' faint sobs.
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'I cannot be around you right now.'
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She turned to apologise, but Kalus had already left. Theena felt even worse. As she stood to find her, Kameo let out a garbled cry, drawing her attention.
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Theena held Kameo, full of shame from her words, but felt a sense of comfort from holding the small infant. She pondered over what to say, trailing down a line of thought, until the incident was forgotten.
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It wasn't spite, but the pain was too much, and she knew she was a coward for it. What had started out as an accident, became a pattern. Kalus would try to reach out to Theena with a gift or apology, Theena would be reminded of Solon and faced with gruesome images of his death, and run away. Regardless of whether Solon was the subject or not.
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There had been a meeting with the council, the third one after Theena had taken over from the Kings duties, and she felt exhausted. She had to maintain a strong representation of the Elven Kingdom, to convince the council she was fit to be queen.
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As she returned, she wanted to have a meal and talk to Yeros, as she often did when needing advice.
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"Does she even love me?"
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Theena paused. That was Kalus' voice.
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"Of course your mother loves you Hun, what kind of question is that?" Lenya chuckled playfully.
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"She always runs away from me. She doesn't talk to me anymore...she won't even look at me. I-I make lots of gifts for Mother, I always say s-sorry, but she-she hates me and I don't even know what I did wrong!" Kalus cried, hiccuping as she tried to stop herself.
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Lenya knelt and placed a hand on her shoulder, as Theena stayed in place, her heart breaking.
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"Kalus, listen to me. Your mother does not hate you. She just misses your father terribly, and when she looks at you, she sees him and is reminded of Solon, and that sadness comes back-"
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"How is that fair?!" Kalus turns and runs off, bumping into Theena in the hallway. Theena and Kalus are stunned, both knowing the other heard the conversation.
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"I'm leaving, I know you're replacing me with Kameo anyway!" She turned to run but Theena grabbed her arm.
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"You do not take that tone with me, Kalus." Theena felt something inside her beside the pain. It was anger. Why was Kalus making things so much harder for her? For everyone. She didn't realise how hard she was holding Kalus' arm. She didn't notice her nails digging into her skin.
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"You're hurting me!" Kalus cried sharply in pain, snapping Theena out of it as Halis rounded the corner.
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"Theena, stop!"
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Halis separated the two.
"She's 6, Theena. What's wrong with you?" Theena looked at Kalus, stunned, but her daughter flinched and Theena's heart broke a bit more.
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Theena turned and walked away as Lenya came out.
"Did you really ask what was wrong with her?"
"She was hurting Kalus. Why didn't you stop her? She's a child Lenya, nothing justifies hurting a kid!"
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"Kalus!"
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Kalus had enough and jumped out of Halis' arms, running away. She wanted to get away from everyone and everything. She wanted the fighting to stop. She wanted everyone to be happy again, she wanted her Mother to hug and kiss her again, she wanted her Father to come home.
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She ran through the gates, down to the garden, where she saw her Father last and met Kameo. She sat and cried and cried, holding her arm tightly. She couldn't stop thinking about her Mother avoiding her, how she would tell at her to go away sometimes and now she was hurting her.
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"Kalus?" She quickly wiped her eyes. It was the nanny who would watch Kameo. Said infant was in her arms.
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"Why are you not studying-?"
"I want to be left alone...Please.. just go away-"
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"DABLFFFRRR!" Kalus jumped at the sudden sound, seeing the baby gurgle and reach out to her with a gummy smile.
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She wasn't sure what to think of Kameo. Part of her wanted to despise this baby, but...She couldn't… Kalus sighed and hugged her legs.
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"What happened to your arm?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Saffii, the Nanny had a thought.
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"Well, that simply won't do. Why don't you mind Kameo while I fetch some ointment for your arm?"
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Before Kalus could protest, the infant was shoved into her arms as Saffii raced off with a grin. Kameo cooed and reached for her hair. Kalus brushed it out of grabbing range, over her shoulder.
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"...so you're my replacement?" Kalus scowled.
Kameo giggled and reached out, grabbing her little finger.
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"Well...at least you're not that annoying." She said with a small grin, as Kameo laughed. Kalus laid back on the grass with the infant beside her, both starting at the clouds.
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"...I miss my father…" Kalus looked away in thought. "I suppose our father… he would have liked you. I think. He is...was...very kind… he'd never hurt you." Her eyes watered a bit and Kameo looked at her.
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"...yes, I think he would have liked you. I wonder how he would fix things, if he was here right now?"
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"Dabttth?"
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"...when I'm Queen, I'll make Father proud. I won't let anyone feel how I feel now. I'll be very strong, strong enough to protect the kingdom with my magic, the Element of Power and the book. I guess.."
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Kalus looks at Kameo who gives a big yawn.
"...that means you too." She turns to look up at the clouds again, both terrified and excited for the future.
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"My, such a responsible big sister."
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Kalus looks up as a hunched over figure blocks out the sunlight. Kalus sits up, holding Kameo, who stirs slightly but continues sleeping.
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"Who are you?"
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"I am the Mystic, aid and advisor to the Royal Family."
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"...you were there the day that Father vanished."
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"I was, yes. What are you two doing out here, alone?" Kalus shifts Kameo, looking uncomfortable.
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"We're not alone. Saffii will be back very shortly."
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"Ah, to get ointment? Don't be surprised child, that angry red marking stands out strikingly well against your pale skin. Shall I use my magic to heal it, your majesty?" As the Mystic reached forward, Kalus stepped back.
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"No thank you, I don't want Saffii's journey to be a waste." Her instincts told her something was very wrong here.
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"Speaking of, we'll go to find her. Thank you for your time." Kalus turns and quickly walks away, retreating into the gates and holding her baby sister close.
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As soon as she entered the halls, she nearly bumped into Theena.
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"Why do you have Kameo?"
"I-I was just-" Theena immediately scooped Kameo out of her arms, waking her up.
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"Go to your lesson, you're late." And walked off. Saffii rounded the corner with ointment in hand.
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"Saffii, why was Kameo alone?"
"She was not, your majesty, she was spending time with-"
"I will not hear excuses. You're fired."
"I-I beg your pardon, your Majesty?"
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"I will not allow anyone to be lenient in the care of my daughter."
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"Mother, wait! It's my fault she-" Theena turned and gave her a cold glare. Kalus stopped. That look...She had only ever seen her give it whenever someone said the name "Thorn". She placed her hand down, eyes watering.
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"I'm sorry Saffii." Saffii shook her head.
"You have nothing to apologise for, Princess Kalus. I wish you a prosperous rule as our future Queen." Saffii gave her a brief hug, then left, giving Theena a sad look.
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Theena wouldn't look at Kalus.
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"If you are to be Queen, you cannot be selfish. You must put your responsibilities first. Go to your lesson, I don't want to hear anymore arguments from you."
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Kalus turned to leave, trying to contain her own anger that was forming.
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"You were raised to show respect, Kalus. Address me."
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"I understand, your majesty."
Part of Theena's heart hurt. She had always called her Mother, it was the first time she had called her that. But before she could respond, Kalus had already left, shutting the door behind her.
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Present
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Theena rested her head against the door. She didn't want to deal with these memories. Now was not the time.
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"Theena, please you can't keep doing this." Lenya spoke gently.
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"...maybe it is time to face your inner demons-"
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"MY DAUGHTER IS NOT A DEMON!" Came a roar that made both flinch.
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"Please….just leave me be."
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Kameo stood behind them, only being noticed when she cleared her throat.
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"I think it's time we addressed this. As a family."
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"Kameo, this is not a subject to push, my dear. Your mother-"
"-has been suffering for long enough. Running and hiding from this will not fix it." Kameo looked up.
"Mother? Open the door or I will break it down."
"As Queen, I order you to-"
"You are not fit to be Queen. Not with this behaviour." She changed into Pummel Weed.
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"Kameo, please! This isn't necessary!"
The door creaked open, with Theena walking away and just sitting on the bed.
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"...You're right. I can't do this anymore." She patted the spot beside her on the bed. As Kameo set beside her, Theena took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose.
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"My guilt is eating away at me. I've done horrible, horrible things to...her...things a loving mother should never do to her children."
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"Leave us."
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"Kameo...I never talk about her, because of the horrible things I have done to that child. I shouldn't be surprised that she resented me."
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"Mother, I'm glad that you are addressing it, but there are things far worse than disapproval."
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"If that was all I did...then I wound be plagued by this guilt." She felt uneasy about what was being implied.
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"...what do you mean?"
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She wouldn't answer.
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"..Mother, What do you mean?"
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Theena burst into tears covering her face, shaking her head.
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"I'm a horrible person. I hurt her so bad Kameo. This happened because I was so cruel to that poor girl!"
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Years and years of guilt began rising to the surface, but part of Theena was so ashamed that even mentioning it was a struggle.
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"...unless you talk about it, things will not get better. You spent years avoiding talking about Solon and two avoiding Kalus, but it hasn't helped, has it?"
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"I….I'm sorry but I can't do this Kameo. I thought I was finally ready, but I'm still a coward…" She sobbed as Kameo sighed, looking ahead. She hinted at whatever she did to Kalus being horrible, but she was concerned about what it implied.
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Kameo stood and walked out. This was something that couldn't be fixed, not overnight at least. She didn't have experience in this and didn't know if it would make things worse by pushing it, and she hated seeing her Mother in this way.
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Part of her wondered how things would be if Kalus was still around. She wondered if that would have made a difference to Theena opening up about it.
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"So, how did it go?" Halis asked but Kameo shook her head.
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"She couldn't tall about it. I don't know if she ever can." She sighed.
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"I...have to think on things."
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Elsewhere
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The wooden floorboards groaned as a group of cloaked figures made their way across the bridge. Their meeting was tonight and they couldn't be late if they wanted to make a good impression.
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Yet, late they were.
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"Is your age catching up to you, boys?" A voice chuckled as they approached.
"You're one to talk. Aren't you ancient?" One member spoke, before being silenced by their leader.
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"Apologies, this one is new and young blood tends to be feisty." The figure only sneered.
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"Then I suggest you break him in quickly. A loose thread is all it takes for a plan to come apart." The figure approached.
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"I assume you know what to do?"
The leader nodded.
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"Of course. But what about the rebels from Thorn's army? They're unpredictable."
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"You leave them to me. Just be sure to plant these in the right areas, and everything else will fall into place. After they have emerged, you are to make sure the hostage isn't killed. I need leverage to reclaim what is rightfully mine."
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"Of course. Thank you for this opportunity."
However the figure stepped forward, purple light reflecting off their false eye.
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"If anything slips up, it will not be just your head you will have to worry about."
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The figures bowed, took the crates, and left.
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Alone, the Final Sargothan looked up at the stars.
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"Soon. Soon, I will be home."
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Author's note:
Yes, Theena's reason is actually canon. Despite this, I'm still not writing Theena as a villain, but I'm not going to paint her as a saint either. She makes mistakes and we get to see where they stem from.
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