The feeling of her fingers being tugged on gently roused her from her sleep. She opened her eyes to see Zola stood beside her bed, her eyes flickered to the clock on the table beside her. 04:00. She wakes a little more under Zola's expectant gaze and starts to think a bit more clearly, aware of Derek sleep beside her and his arm wrapped around her waist.
She pulled back the covers slightly and spoke in a quiet voice, "Come on, baby," she invited the girl into the bed, as had been their normal routine since she moved in here. Zola accepted the invitation and climbed up on to the bed, snuggling herself against Meredith's chest and Meredith arms around her, holding her close. It didn't take long for Zola to drift off back to sleep in her hold, and she pressed a soft kiss against the top of the girl's head, following her into sleep soon after.
Derek woke to the sound of his phone's alarm going off on the bedside table on his side of the bed, he groaned slightly before realising where he was, in Meredith's bed, his arm draped over her waist. Not wanting to wake her from the noise he turned round to grab his phone and shut the noise off. Looking back over to Meredith he just notices the small girl asleep in her arms and he smiles softly. Meredith starts to stir a little at his movements and he lowers his lips to her forehead with a soft kiss, "Go back to sleep, Mer," he whispers softly, watching as she settles again back into sleep. He climbs out of the bed, careful not to jostle either of the two asleep in the bed.
Quietly, he gathers his things and dresses, looking every now and then to the sleeping pair. He stood in the doorway of her bedroom, giving them one last look, feeling the swell of emotion in his chest as he paused for a moment. If it wasn't for his surgery at seven-thirty that morning he would've given anything to be able to stay there and join in with their morning routine. He'd have to wait for another day, though. Pulling the door to behind him, he made his way out to his car and started the short journey to the hospital.
The next time Meredith woke up, it was to the sound of loud giggling beside her and the feeling of tiny fingers poking at her cheek. She laughed softly as her eyes opened, her hands taking Zola's in her gently grip, leaning to press soft kisses against her cheeks, earning further giggles from her daughter.
"Mama, no!" Zola said with a squeal, "Breakfast!"
Meredith rolled on to her back and lifted Zola against her chest, "What's for breakfast?" She asked as she calmed down a little, happy to be held close to her chest.
Zola pulled her the all familiar expression as she concentrated a moment, thinking about her response a moment, "Pancakes?"
Meredith sat up in the bed, keeping her hold on Zola as she did, "I think for pancakes we're going to need to go out for breakfast, Aunt Maggie will be in the hospital already, and you know Mommy can't make pancakes," she told the small girl with a laugh.
Zola bounced a little in her lap, "Go, go!" She crawled out of her mother's lap and off the bed, and Meredith climbed out of the bed, following closely behind the small girl as she went through to her bedroom, "Clothes, Mommy?"
Meredith nodded as she stretched her arms above her head with a yawn, walking over to Zola's closet, "What do you want to wear today?" She walked over to the window and pulled back the curtain, just know noticing the downpour of rain outside, "Looks like a rainy day today." Meredith moved back to the closet, Zola reaching for her raincoat that hung there, and Meredith took it off its hanger, "Good idea, Zo."
After much of a one-sided conversation with Zola, she got her dressed and sat her on her bed as she got herself dressed as well. Zola sat on the bed, clutching her lion teddy close to her, her quietness not going unnoticed by Meredith. She lifted Zola and rested her on her hip as she held her, "What's on your mind, Zo?" She asked the girl as she carried her down the stairs.
"Hungry, Mama," Zola said simply, her head resting against Meredith's shoulder. Meredith didn't push it and lowered Zola to her feet, helping her put her wellies on and fasten up her coat. Once ready, Zola lifted her arms again to be picked up and Meredith lifted her into her arms, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.
She grabbed her keys and bag from the kitchen side before heading out to the car, sitting Zola in her car seat and strapping her in without any fuss. "You want the music on?" Meredith asked as she got into her own seat, putting her seat-belt on and looking back at Zola through the rear-view mirror.
Zola shook her head, "Thinking, Mama."
Meredith smiled and again didn't push it, "Okay, let's go get pancakes," she watched as her daughter smiled back at her before setting off in the direction of their regular breakfast spot that was by the hospital. Most of their regular food places were by the hospital.
She parked in her reserved parking spot at the hospital, given there was no other parking around the area. She climbed out and opened the door for Zola who had unfastened the straps of her car seat when the car stopped, holding her hand as she stepped down out of the car, "Walk or buggy?"
Meredith closed the car down and crouched down to Zola's eye-level, pulling the hood of her coat over her head to protect her hair from the rain, "Walk, please." Meredith lifted the hood of her own coat before taking Zola's hand in hers and standing up straight.
"Let's get going then," she smiled, and they walked side by side down the street to the nearby café, trying not to overthink the fact that Zola was quieter than usual. They eventually made it and stepped inside out of the rain. Before heading to an empty booth, she crouched to removed Zola's coat and took her own off, hanging them on a coat stand that stood by the doorway.
Meredith sat in the booth with Zola opposite her, ordering them both a drink from the passing waiter along with their order of pancakes. Zola set her toy lion on the table, "Mama?"
She smiled and looked to the small girl, "Yes, Zola?"
"Where Derek go?" she questioned, a confused look on her face.
Meredith watched her closely, "He's at the hospital, Zola," she answered, unsure of where Zola was going with this. Zola stayed quiet, that look of concentration on her face again as a cup of orange juice was placed in front of her, and Meredith was brought her black coffee in a mug.
Meredith reached over and helped Zola with pushing up the sleeves of her cardigan before adding a single sugar to her coffee, mixing it in as she watched Zola take a drink from her juice. Zola looked up at Meredith after setting the cup down, "Mommy going to hospital today?"
Meredith shook her head, "It's Mommy's day off today, Zo, remember?"
Zola thought for a moment before speaking again, "See Derek today?"
Meredith raised her eyebrows a little, "I'm not sure, baby. Do you want to see Derek today?"
As Zola went quiet again for a moment, their breakfast was delivered to their table. A small plate of two pancakes and blueberries for Zola, and a plate of pancakes and strawberries for Meredith. "Mommy, help?" Zola asked, holding up her knife and fork.
"Of course," she said, leaning over to help cut the pancakes into smaller pieces for her, smiling as Zola started eating her breakfast.
After a few mouthfuls, Zola answered her question, "Want see Derek."
Meredith nodded, "Let me see if he can, okay? He's a very busy Doctor, Zo."
Zola grins at her mother's response, "Like you, Mama?"
"Yeah, like me, Zozo," she laughs softly as Zola starts to eat more enthusiastically. After a moment longer, Meredith questions a little more, "What've you been thinking about so much?"
"I like Derek, Mommy, is Derek like Uncle Alex?" Zola asks with a slight look of confusion on her face.
Meredith thinks a moment, taking another bite of her breakfast, noticing Zola has finished with hers, "Come sit by me, Zola," as Zola got up and moved round the table, Meredith set down her utensils, before helping Zola up on to the seat and pulling her into her lap. "Uncle Alex is Mommy's best friend, very much like Mommy's brother, so to you he is Uncle Alex, yeah?" She waits a moment, making sure Zola understands before she continues. Zola nods, "and you know how Jackson is Aunt Maggie's boyfriend?"
Zola's eyes widen a little as she looks up at Meredith, "Oh, Mama boyfriend?"
Meredith laughs softly and nods, "Yeah, Zo, so he's going to be around a lot more, but only if that's okay with you, okay?
Zola ponders for a moment, her hand gripped on to her mother's jumper as she thinks and then speaks, "That's okay. He's Derek?"
"Yeah, he's Derek," Meredith nodded, gently rubbing her hand on Zola's back as she holds her close, "So, what shall we do today?"
Derek didn't get out of surgery till around 2pm and walking to the cafeteria for much needed food he checked his phones for messages, glad to see one waiting from Meredith from that morning. Before he got a chance to read it, his attention was taken by his name being called down the hall He looked up to see Addison stood not far from him. He hadn't seen her since he left for New York just over a week ago.
"What do you want, Addison?" He said with a sigh.
"Hello to you too, Derek," she said with a roll of her eyes.
"I don't have all day," he said, almost snapping at her.
"Did you give the lawyer the papers?"
"I did, is that all?" he said with a hint of impatience in his voice.
"I just," she hesitated a moment before continuing, "You're seeing Meredith again?"
"It's not really your business, but yeah, we are," he raised his eyebrows at her.
"Okay, well I have to stay here for another five months, but I'll stay out of your way, speak through lawyers until everything I finalised."
"Right, okay," Derek sighed again, "Goodbye, Addison," he didn't stick around to hear her response, he was already back on his way to the cafeteria. He'd been in surgery since 6am and didn't have the patience for her right now.
His attention was drawn to his phone again, reading the message from Meredith to ask if he was free after work. He sent her a quick reply to let her know he'd be finished up around five that evening, hopefully. He put his phone away and carried on with getting his lunch, taking it to go. If he wanted to be done by five, he needed to get a head start on his paperwork.
After spending their day at the Woodland Park Zoo, Zola was definitely ready for sleep. Proven by the fact she'd fallen asleep in the car on their way to the hospital. Meredith pulled into her parking space and took the buggy out of the boot. She was pretty sure Zola wasn't about to wake up any time soon.
She carefully got Zola out of the car and into the buggy without waking her, thankful the rain had stopped that morning after they'd eaten breakfast. Walking into the hospital, the first person she saw was Richard. Part of her was still wanting to avoid the conversation she knew was bound to happen about her and Derek, and what Richard had seen the other day.
"Hey, Meredith, what are you doing here? Is Zola okay?" Richard greeted her, smiling down at Zola who was still sleeping.
"Oh, Zola's fine, I'm just meeting someone," she explained, her hands tightening on the handles of Zola's buggy.
Richard raised an eyebrow, pretty sure he knew who she was talking about, "Meredith…"
"Richard, I know. I should have told you sooner, we should have," her gaze looked over Richard's shoulder, seeing Derek stood there, he hadn't seen them yet, "It's kind of new, I'm being careful."
Richard stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Meredith, it's okay. I'm glad that you're happy, you deserve it more than anyone."
Meredith released a sigh of relief, "Thank you, Richard. That means more to you than you know."
He laughed softly as he pulled her into a hug, "if he hurts you, though, he does realise the whole hospital will be against you?"
She returned his laughter as they pulled back from each other, "I think he gets it."
The sound of Meredith's laughter caught Derek's attention, looking up to see Meredith stood there with Richard and Zola asleep in the pram. He excused himself from the conversation he was having with Dr Edwards regarding post-op care for his patient from the morning and approached the pair talking with each other. He greeted them tentatively, unsure of the subject of their conversation, "Hey, guys."
Richard spoke first as Meredith smiled at Derek, "Take care of her, Shepherd, she's like a daughter to me," he patted Derek on the shoulder before walking away.
"I have every intention to," he responded, his eyes still on Meredith as Richard walked away, "Hey, I didn't know you'd meet me here."
Meredith shrugged, unable to stop smiling, "I thought we'd surprise you, but Zola's worn out," she said with a laugh, "Maybe we could go get dinner?"
"Sounds good, I just need to change," he stepped forward and gently kissed her cheek, glad that she didn't pull away, "So Richard knows?"
"Yeah, he saw us the other day in front of the OR board, I'm surprised he didn't figure it out sooner," she said with a shrug, "You go get changed, I'm just going to grab some things from my office."
"Alright, I'll just come to your office then when I'm done, yeah?" He didn't want to push his luck with an actual kiss in public, so he gently squeezed her hand before heading off to get his things together and change.
Meredith took hold of the pram and made her way to the elevator, Zola still sleeping. Walking down to the hallway towards her office, she saw Addison approaching her. Her hands tightened again on the handles of the pram, definitely unprepared for the interaction that was about to happen.
"Hey, Meredith, I was glad I could catch you can we talk?" Honestly, Addison looked as anxious as Meredith felt.
"I kind of have to be somewhere, can this wait? I'm not technically working right now," Meredith tried to explain with a small smile. She did not want to be there right now.
"Oh, this isn't about work, but yeah, sure," Addison returned her smile and they parted ways.
What did Addison want to say to her? She assumed Addison would do anything to not talk to her or be in the same room as her. As she entered her office, she left Zola to sleep in the pram as she grabbed her overnight bag from under the desk that she'd left from her last overnight shift, putting it under the pram.
She sat on the couch with Zola facing her in the pram, and she leaned back to watch her sleep, glad to be able to sit down for a moment after their day of walking around the zoo. Around five minutes later, the door to her office opened and Derek walked in. She offered him a smile and patted the seat beside her, "Come sit a minute, I'm not ready to move, my feet are killing me," she said with a soft laugh.
"Busy day?" he asked as he sat beside her, letting her rest her head against his shoulder as he played with the ends of her hair.
"Mmm, we went to the zoo, "she pulled her phone out of her pocket to bring up her photo album from the day, passing it to him so he could scroll through the pictures she'd taken from the day with each of the animals they'd seen.
As Derek looked through the photos, Meredith's legs rested on top of his, and his hand rested on her thigh, as she looked at them with him. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head as they came across the last photo, a picture of Meredith and Zola taken as a selfie, "Should definitely get that one framed, I'll put it on my desk."
Meredith smiled and looked up at him, "Yeah? I'll send it to you later, then."
He leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips, "Let's get to dinner, yeah?"
"One more moment," she spoke softly, pressing her lips back to his for another kiss. His hand slid to her waist as her fingers tangled into his hair, pulling him closer. As their kiss deepened, she felt his hand sliding up the front underside of her shirt and she gently nipped his lower lip, murmuring, "Behave."
His lips moved to kiss along her jaw and spoke with a soft voice, "You know you're irresistible, right?"
She tilted her head back as his lips moved down her neck and she gently pulled on his hair, "Maybe save that for later?" She pressed her lips to his again and he pulled her closer against him.
As she heard Zola start to stir a little from her nap, she pulled back and turned to her daughter. It was always a gamble Zola's mood when she woke from her nap. Hearing the slight grumble coming from Zola's lip, she knew it wasn't going to be the best one.
She lowers her legs from Derek's lap and leans forward to lift her out of the pram, pulling her into her lap and holding her close to her chest, "Hey, Zo." She gently rubbed Zola's back and Zola grabbed at the front of Meredith's shirt, hiding her face in her chest.
"Can I get anything?" Derek asked, his hand resting on the small of Meredith's back.
At the sound of his voice, Zola turned her head to look at him and her hand reached over to him, "Der…" she mumbled.
Meredith moved Zola to sit in Derek's lap and he held her as she grinned at him. He laughed softly, "Hey, Zola, good sleep?"
Zola nodded and put her arms around Derek's neck, hugging herself against him. Meredith stood up off the couch and grabbed a juice box from the drawer in her desk, kept for emergencies in case Zola was in there. As she sat back down, she pierced the straw through and passed it to Zola, who sat in Derek's lap chattering away to him. She took it with a thanks and started drinking.
"Let's go get some dinner, guys," Meredith suggested, standing up from the couch, "Buggy, Zo?"
Zola shook her head, parting herself from the straw for a moment to answer, "Derek, carry," she continued to drink her juice, one hand gripped to Derek's shirt.
Derek laughed and stood as he lifted Zola, holding her steady against him, "Come on, then."
Meredith laughed with a small shake of her head as she watched them, "You know she's got you wrapped around her finger now?" She took the handles of the empty pram, taking it out of her office and holding the door for them.
"You know what? I think I'm okay with that," Derek said with a grin and Zola shook the juice carton to indicate she'd finished with it. Derek took it and put it in the bin by the elevator before they all stepped in together, "Okay, Zola, what's for dinner?"
"Pizza!" Zola clapped her hands together as she answered, enticing a laugh from both Meredith and Derek as they stepped off the elevator into the main lobby of the hospital.
"I need to go put these things in the car and then we can go to that place down the street, do you guys want to wait here and I'll be right back," she smiled at both of them and pressed a soft kiss to the side of Zola's head.
Zola nodded, "stay with Derek, Mama," she said holding her palm against her chest.
Meredith nodded with a grin, "You stay with Derek, Zo." She took hold of the pram again and headed out to her car with it to pack it back into the car with her bags.
Derek stood by the nurses' station, holding Zola as they waited for Meredith to come back. He sat her on the high desk in front of them as he saw Lexie approaching them, "You headed out for the night, Dr Shepherd?" She asked, then noticed Zola there with him, "Hey, Zo!"
Zola grinned as she saw Lexie, instantly recognising her from her time in the hospital, but unaware of the familial connection between them, "Dr Lexie! We gon' get pizza," Zola told her with a nod, clasping her hands together.
"Oh yeah, where's Mommy?" Lexie asked with a raised eyebrow toward Derek.
"She's just gone to the car, she'll be back in a minute," Derek explained as Zola looked to him, unsure how to answer.
"I see, well, I hope you have a great time," she looked over as Meredith approached them, "Hey, Meredith."
"Hey, Lexie," she said as she reached to pick Zola up, "Ready to go?"
Derek turned to Lexie, reading the slight tension between Meredith and her half-sister, "Okay so I'll be back in at 8 tomorrow morning, but call me if there's anything?"
Lexie nodded, "I'm sure we'll be fine, go enjoy your pizza," she said with a wink to Zola, making her giggle.
Zola waved at Lexie, "Bye, Lex," she grinned from where she was being held on Meredith's hip and held on to her mother again.
Lexie watched as the three of them headed out the main door of the hospital. She wanted to get to know her sister more, and her niece for that matter. She was aware this would probably take time; Meredith was definitely stand-offish, and they barely spoke since Zola was discharged. Their father had barely spoken of Meredith, she'd only even found out she'd existed when Meredith showed up on their doorstep 7 years ago to see him but didn't want anything from him. From most of the information given to her by her mother, she didn't blame Meredith for wanting nothing to do with them. Lexie wasn't her father, though.
As she walked back through the hospital, she crossed paths with the handsome, tall, dark-blonde guy she'd seen around a few times. Mark, she thinks that's his name. Or maybe that was that guy she kept hearing about who screwed over Derek. This time she saw him though, he had indigo scrubs and a white coat on, so he can't have been that guy, could he?
"Okay, I'm going to be completely honest with you right now, I have no idea how this works," Meredith admitted as she lay in Derek's hold, her back against his chest with his arms holding her close around her waist. Her head tilted back against his shoulder and he looked down at her with soft eyes.
"How what works?" he asked, his fingers playing with a strand of her hair.
"I mean, I'm still learning the parent thing, and I haven't done the relationship thing since intern year, and apparently I was really, really bad at it then," she tried to explain, biting her lower lip.
"First of all, the parenting thing? You're doing an amazing job and you don't need to worry about that," he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, "Secondly, I've been married to the same person for eleven years, this is all new to me too. All we can promise each other is that we try, and we show up," his arms pulled her closer to him as he kissed her again and she twisted her body slightly, moving to straddle him and his hands moved to her hips, "I'm all in, Meredith Grey."
She grinned softly against his lips, "I'm all in too, Derek Shepherd," she laughed softly and wove her fingers into his hair, "Remember how I said about going slow? Maybe I was wrong about that, I mean, you're also irresistible," she echoed his words from earlier that day in her office.
He gripped her hips a little tighter as their kiss deepened and she pressed her hips into his, "Does this mean we can continue what I started earlier?" He mumbled, moving his lips down her neck slowly.
She laughed softly and tilted her head to one side to give him a little more space to move, "It most definitely does."
Baby, I'm never gonna leave you, say that you wanna be with me too.
I'ma stay through it all, so jump then fall.
Jump Then Fall – Taylor Swift