**OMG I FORGOT TO MENTION THINGS IN THE FIRST CHAPTER. First of all, welcome, how ya doing? Only reading this because the world is shut down? We'll take it. If you like music, then we recommend listening to Andrew Judah's "Fear" in order to get the overall feel for the story. Second, we'll be posting a chapter every Sunday. Third, two authors collaborated in the making of this fic and we will mention who wrote what chapter at the beginning of each one. Fourth, we love you all for just skimming the thumbnail for this fic. Stay safe y'all!

**written by: blueTshirts**

"Do you even know how long a horse dick is?" Jean says as he glares at Connie for making another horse joke.

"Do you even know how long my dick is?" Connie replies, taking a hit from the joint we've been passing around. Sasha starts to giggle from the floor and Connie points at her. "Don't answer that."

Everyone starts laughing and Connie shuts up in defeat and passes the blunt to Jean beside him. I lean back into the leather couch feeling a nice weightlessness that comes with a subtle high. I still feel pretty self aware as of now but I'd made Bert to promise before coming here to not let me get too far into the booze or the grass. I don't want this weekend to turn into a sob session. I'm constantly worried whenever someone asks how I am.

"So Reiner," Armin says from his position on the floor next to Annie. He's completely sober; he hasn't even looked at a beer since he got here, and neither has Annie. It's a little odd. "How's the gym? Still enjoying it?"

My heart sinks. You mean, how's life been since I impulsively dropped out of college and started working full time at the same gym I've worked at my entire life? And how I'm worried that I've wasted my life because I have no goals and that possibly the only good thing in my life, Berthold, might leave me once he realizes that I'm a complete piece of shit? Honestly, I've had better days. "Good, pretty good, just kind of same ol'," I say nonchalantly. Haha, no depression here. "How bout you? Still nose deep in the books?"

Armin kind of laughs, "Yeah, it's been pretty cool, but mostly busy, I barely sleep enough in a day."

"Yeah, I hear ya," I mumble hoping someone picks up the conversation for me. Bert massages my shoulder gently with his arm resting on the back of the couch. As much as my fucked up mind is telling me that I don't deserve someone so sweet, so thoughtful, so intelligent, and so considerate, at least Bert is there to tell me that I'm wrong. No matter how many times I make him say it, Berthold never seems to get tired of telling me that he loves me and that he's never leaving me.

All I have to do is try to believe him.

"Are you still working at the library?" Marco asks thankfully.

"Yeah," Armin says, "I love it, it's honestly amazing."

"Man, I bet you I'd be rich if I got paid for being at the library, I think those books see me more than Jean does," Marco says.

"True," Jean grunts.

"I mean, at least you guys are still in school," Eren says jokingly. Although, no one laughs. We all know Eren had to drop out of school after his brother's arrest. Eren was in Pre Med like Marco, he was excited. We were all excited to start college after High School, and boy has that changed.

"Any thoughts of going back?" Marco asks Eren. The room remains silent. The blunt is passed along until it gets to Eren.

He shrugs. "I don't know, the public image of the Jaeger name isn't great. I can barely go to a movie without someone asking if I'm related to Zeke."

My worry about anyone finding out that I'm miserable at the moment turns to guilt. Eren has been through so much this year. He's lost almost everything, and yet he's still trying. I feel almost pathetic being in the same room with him.

"And how is the case going?" Marco asks. The tension in the room rises and we all make panicked glances at each other.

Mikasa jumps in to protect Eren. "You don't have to answer that."

Marco backtracks, "Yeah, sorry, I don't mean to budge and you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. It's just, you don't have to be alone in this, we're here for you."

"He's not alone," Mikasa says blatantly glaring at Marco. Jean sits up and glares back at Mikasa. It's like they're a gang of wolves. Marco continues to try and dissolve the conflict.

"I didn't mean that, I just thought-"

"Maybe we should just drop this," Armin says looking like he wants to throw up.

Eren takes a deep hit off the blunt and flicks ashes onto the floor. "It's fine guys, I know you're all probably wondering."

"You don't have to prove any-" Mikasa starts before Eren cuts her off.

"It's fine, you guys are my friends, you deserve to know," he says, "But yeah, I mean it was relatively quick trial which I'm sure you guys already know, Zeke is obviously guilty, he confessed, but now all we're waiting for to see what kind of penalty he's getting."

"Life or death," Jean states. Eren looks up at him, challenge in his eyes.

"Yea, Horse Face, they're deciding if they want Zeke in prison for the rest of his life or if they'd rather have him dead."

The room remains quiet. Awkwardly quiet. Mikasa and Eren sit next to each other. Eren in a bean bag chair and Mikasa on the floor beside him with a pillow in her lap. If their relationship wasn't awkward before, I have no idea what to call it now. Before the craziness of Zeke's trial, Eren and Mikasa were trying to figure themselves out as a couple. They were almost dating? I have no idea how it works. But it's weird. And now Mikasa is more like a guard dog rather than a girlfriend. I swear if you look at Eren wrong she starts seething. Each interaction between the two of them seems forced or superficial, as if they're constantly talking in code to each other. I wish I could read minds.

"Don't they usually go easier on people that plead guilty?" Sasha asks.

"Yeah, but it also depends on the public's opinion of him," Eren sighs, "If they want him dead then they aren't going to be happy until he is, and at this point, I'm pretty sure they want him dead."

Another silence.

To be fair, I can understand why the city thinks Zeke is a crazy motherfucker that needs to be removed quickly. I mean, the guy thought he was doing good for the world. He started off by him and Eren's father because he blamed him for the death of Zeke's step mom/Eren's real mom. But Carla died of an illness, that's it. I don't know why he wanted Grisha to be responsible. And after that he decided to take out a bunch of other doctor that he thought were corrupt.

The guy is whack.

It's odd to see how serious people can get with the death penalty, though. I guess most people see life as something more valuable than I do. At this point, I would prefer death than to have to face my family again, or make Berthold stay with me for another six months, or sit here in this room with my successful friends and feel like a complete waste for much longer. It's just easier that way. It's nicer that way.

"Don't worry, man, we've got your back no matter what happens," I say hoping to at least help Eren a bit. He at least smiles and nods at me.

"Thanks man," he says softly. "Yelp, that's enough depression talk for a day, you guys want to watch a movie or something?"

A unanimous, "sure," hums through the air and everyone starts pitching movie ideas. After some decent arguing, we end up choosing an Avengers movie that keeps everyone somewhat satisfied.

I'm thankful for the distraction. We don't have to talk any longer, no one has to worry about each other, and there's no more painful tension in this cabin. We can all make simultaneous lustful remarks every time Captain America comes on screen.

Half way through the movie, I get distracted by the overly touchy couple on the couch beside me and Bert. I mean, I thought us two were touchy, but no, Ymir and Historia take the cake. I shove Ymir's calf with my foot to get her to surface for some air and glare at me.

"Get a room, homos," I say with a smirk.

"Fuck off, Meathead," Ymir hisses and returns to her blonde girlfriend.

I shove her leg again. She glares up at me another time, although this time she looks like an angry bear.

"I'm only going to keep bothering you, you're distracting me."

"You're a child," she growls.

"Leave them alone Reiner, I wouldn't mess with them if I were you," Armin says from across the living room.

I stick out a fake pouting lip. "Aw, is the big bad Ymir gonna fight me?" I smirk, "I'm not scared."

"You little-" Ymir starts.

Eren hops in. "You know there's a barn back in the woods that my parents fixed up." Everyone looks over at Eren. "Y'know, for like, privacy."

"Oooh, a Love Barn," Connie sings into his tenth corn dog.

"Shut up Connie, you don't even like sex," Jean scoffs.

"Doesn't mean I can't make fun of you for it," Connie insists.

Eren ignores Connie. "You guys are welcomed to it if you want. There's a heating unit that still works."

Ymir glares back at me and then looks at Historia who shrugs.

"Sounds good to me." Ymir and Historia stand and climb over all of our sprawled bodies to leave the living room.

"To the Love Barn!" Connie calls after them having no interest in them except to make them uncomfortable. A few of the crew laugh.

Ymir sighs loudly and mutters, "Anything to get away from you fucks."

Historia pats Erens shoulder as she passes him saying, "Thanks, we'll be back soon."

"Don't be too loud or the bears will come for you!" Connie calls again.

"Aren't bears going into hibernation right now?" Sasha asks as she munches on some popcorn.

"Not if they're awoken by the Love Barn!" Connie yells even louder.

"Shut the fuck up Baldy!" Ymir shouts with a slam of the back door. Everyone erupts with laughter after the two have gone.

Only a moment of silence passes when I say, "Dibs on the Love Barn next."