Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, Jackie Chan Adventures, Two Stupid Dogs, or Invader Zim. Or the Tick, great pants of Saint George, man! How could one even own the Tick? He's like a great blazing sun of heroism crammed inside a giant chin of justice!
Betaed by Zim'sMostLoyalServant.
A Shadow of the Titans:
Written by
Nocturne no Kitsune
Eduard Kassel
Chapter Five
'Settling In'
In Which There is Much in the Way of Shouting
H.I.V.E.:
Jade looked over the items arrayed on the tables before her before frowning and looking to the checklist attached to her clipboard.
"Let's see then, an additional table to the two provided. One sink, provided with the space. Fire extinguisher, provided. Axe, purchased with lab package for three dollars.
"One large iron cauldron, two medium sized bronze cauldrons with alloy inner lining, and a small pewter cauldron free with the purchase of three other cauldrons. One standard set of beakers, test tubes, funnels, and other assorted chemistry stuff.
"Five kilos of dried standard spell ingredients. One kilo of assorted East Asian Alchemical herbs. One drying kit. A small cage, just in case. A package of file paper and two feather quills. A first aid kit, not provided.
"And a needlessly creepy paperweight," Jade ticked off the items on her list. The blue girl looked over at the wooden paperweight that – while not spot on – reminded her of a mini-Tarakudo.
She looked over the other purchases spread out on the three tables in the off-white room that would be her magic lab. Her magic lab… despite the circumstances, she couldn't help a genuine smile nearly splitting her face. She had been dreaming of this since the moment it sunk in Uncle was a real wizard.
Okay, she imagined something a bit more impressive, but still; she had to start somewhere, right?
Alas, her moment was destined to be ruined by a recurring annoyance.
"So that's the crap you try and pass of for research material; aren't you going to cackle and call your monkeys?" Gizmo taunted.
Jade's smile vanished and was replaced by a small frown as she turned to face her lab partner. His set up was far more impressive. No, not impressive – overdone, she decided. Assorted tech and sagging workbenches filled his half of the room so much she doubted a full-grown man could move, much less work in it.
Actually, it was looking a bit more spread out, now that she looked at it closer.
"Hey! You're taking my space!" she shouted, pointing at a large device whose Tesla coil nearly touched the ceiling. She knew it was a Tesla coil because he had thrown a fit when she called it a "B-movie prop" earlier. Earlier, when it had been several meters somewhere else.
"Hey, it's on the right side of the tape," Gizmo brushed her off, pulling on his goggles as he fired up a plasma cutter at his current workbench.
"So I see, because you moved the tape, you little dork!" she shouted, pointing to the residue line a good two meters back into the space he was now claiming.
"Who are you calling little? ! You're only taller than me because of your hair!" he shouted, shaking the cutter at her.
"No, I am so taller than you. And at least I have hair. Too many pieces of tech crap blow up on you?" Jade demanded, crossing her arms.
"Heh, blue rookie. I need more space for my science, you can just magic your area bigger while you make your stupid little potions," he said. The miniscule scientist deployed his robot legs and stomped over to the tape to tower over her.
Jade raised an eyebrow and let her eyes glow with waiting heat beams before rising into the air slowly and coming to eye height with him.
"I read the guidelines, any trespassing can be retaliated against. Move your tech crap out of my magic lab, or I will blow it up," she told him. He pressed a button on his wrist and a laser gun popped out from his pack to point at her. Her eyes flared in retaliation, clearly primed to fire.
"Geez, I leave you two alone and this is what happens," Jinx sighed. They both turned to see her leaning in the doorway, shaking her head. Her condescension seemed to reel in Gizmo, who retracted the laser, while Jade powered her eyes down in response.
"Listen you two, I can accept you not getting along. We're bad guys – good 'neighborly feelings' aren't in the job description, but we are a team. So hurl insults over your stupid tape line all you like, that's your beef to chew.
"But you need to be ready to work together, because my success for the time being is tied to yours. And you two trying to beat up or undermine your different strengths is… well, it's just unacceptable.
"Gizmo, put the tape back. Blue, you have telekinesis, push his stuff back in his face, don't blow it up," she ordered.
Gizmo glared at the witch, who only smiled back. Jade found she did not like that smile; it said the pink haired witch was up to something and wasn't about to say what. Little did Jade know the smile would have reminded her own family and friends of her.
As it was, Gizmo broke off his glare first and turned to move his piece of equipment, grumbling under his breath. Jade watched him for a moment, frowning, before turning back to her own budding lab. Floating over to the tables, she looked over her space and began to use the Rooster to tenderly push the tables about, trying to find a good arrangement.
She wasn't going to lift them into the air; it was too easy to get distracted and mess up when carrying rather than pushing or pulling objects.
Jinx walked up to join her, standing in the eye of the moving cauldrons and tables. The witch reached out and plucked a mortar and pistil from a table.
"So you're into potions and that kind of stuff, eh Blue?" Jinx asked.
"Of course, spells don't just happen, you need to create the magic energy to be activated and shaped with spells," Jade answered. It occurred to her after saying that that magic might be more flash and declaration here than at home.
"Ah yeah, chi magic… My magic is more spells and incantations when I bother. I prefer my bloodline abilities," Jinx shrugged, looking thoughtful.
Jade found that bit of apathy towards magic, particularly in an ambitious girl like Jinx, odd. Though it could be a lie, she realized. She had to remind herself that she was surrounded by people who prided themselves on being villains.
"It's dirty, smelly, work, but it's the key to power. I have natural abilities too, but I'd never settle for just that," Jade answered with a bit more pride than she intended. It was true enough – whether with chi spells, talismans, or the martial arts, her first choice would be: all of the above.
"I wish I had more space," Jade complained as she halted her arranging to consider the lab. It was true she had plenty of space for now, but who knew how much would be taken up once she really got going?
"Well, you could always apply for a Single Lab again," Jinx chuckled. Jade couldn't repress a shudder, rubbing her left hip reflexively at the thought.
Previous Night, H.I.V.E. Lab Space Assignment Tournament:
Jade danced backwards as the pike blade swiped at her. The attacks were too quick for levitation so she was stuck at a height disadvantage. Her eyes flared, and gave her opponent enough warning to fade to the side before sweeping at her head. Jade fell onto her back and desperately fired off an explosive blast with an open fist. The misshapen figure whirled his own weapon, dispersing the attack, but being driven back.
Jade rolled to her feet and leapt into the air, using the momentum and her Rooster power to move quickly. She grabbed the edge of one of the broken columns dotting the arena and perched herself on top of it.
Standing on the uneven stone surface, she fired a barrage of blasts at the young villain. The explosions landed around him, kicking up smoke and dust. Pulling back her hood, she wiped her brow and let out a sigh of relief. The crowd of students roared approval from the other side of the razor wire cage the arena was in.
"I WANT TO SEE SOME BODY PARTS FLYING!" she picked out Gadjo's voice.
The change in their tone alerted her to trouble before her foe emerged from the smoke, charred a bit but seemingly unscathed. His head was oversized with lumpy growths, more prominent than his green skin and otherwise buff body. She wondered if he was tough like Gadjo or if his armor, which looked more like skater gear, was somehow that good.
"Come down," he demanded, pointing at her with his free hand.
"No," Jade answered.
"Come down and face Shuck," he said with a strangely kind tone.
"Still no," Jade told him, pulling her hood back into place.
…
…
"SHUCK!" he roared his name, again. (1) Leaping forward, he pulled his pike back, twisting his body, and let it loose, cleaving through the column like a lumberjack through a tiny tree.
Jade fell halfway back to the ground before she remembered levitation, and started blasting at the man trying to skewer her with a pike.
Brother Blood watched the spectacle unfold in his box seat, drumming his fingers against his fancy chair's armrest. Frowning, he turned to the Acolyte standing next to him.
"This is taking too long, release the giant robot spiders," he ordered, clearly bored. Across from the headmaster's box, a portcullis began to rise.
*CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-BOOM.*
"OH, COME ON!" Jade shouted down below as metal scrapped against stone.
"SHUUUCK!" the green teen shouted, leveling his pike at the approaching menace.
Present:
"Maybe next year," Jade answered with a sour look. Jinx grinned at her in that annoying way.
"I can't believe you lost to a guy who shouts his own name," she laughed.
"The robots were a bit distracting! What does that guy even need a single lab for anyway?" Jade grumbled.
Titans Tower:
The Titans sat on their couch while Robin brought up an image on the big screen for them. Gadjo's laughing face filled the screen as the Boy Wonder clicked the button on the remote.
"So what have we got on this guy Robin?" Cyborg asked. They had yet to face him, but he had pulled off two robberies with a camo girl that had left dozens in traction and a few fatalities.
"Machete isn't talking; we think she might be a mute. We can't even get an ID on her," Robin commented, changing the screen showing the villainess swinging her bloody trademark weapon. Footage briefly played, showing her form ripple and vanish in a chameleon effect.
"Really, nothing in the database?" Cyborg was surprised.
"As far as we know – we haven't been able to get the suit off of her," Robin admitted looking a bit uncomfortable.
"What? It's not like it's fused to her skin or something," Beast Boy complained.
"…" Robin looked at him.
"Oh," Beast Boy laughed awkwardly.
"From what we've seen, they can both be categorized as type A threats – ready and far too willing to kill. She is a newcomer as far as we know, but this Gadjo has a trail in Europe.
"His most high profile act was as a participant in the April 16th Incident in Barcelona; he is credited with nineteen civilian deaths there. His rap sheet spreads across the Balkans and crossed the Adriatic to Italy and then to Spain. Before surfacing here in Jump, he was apparently working as a mercenary in Northern Ireland.
"He first came to the superhuman community's attention during the Skopje Zombie Outbreak. I have received some footage," Robin told them, stepping aside as the footage started to roll.
"Is he whaling on zombies… with a zombie?" Beast Boy asked.
"*You're all bloody shits! Get back here so I can destroy you!*" the translation program read out as he yelled in some language. The Titans watched with increasing eye wideness.
"That ain't right," Cyborg said as maniacal laughter filled the room, accompanied by a car revving up.
"Uhh, I'm going to go now," Beast Boy excused himself.
"I just remembered, there's a thing I need to do," Cyborg chimed. They beat hasty retreats, Starfire watching them go.
Starfire turned a bit purple at some squelching sound and put a hand to her mouth, before taking her own flight. Robin sighed, shaking his head.
"*Who's eating whose brain now, you uppity corpse! ?*" Gadjo screamed as he cracked a skull open. Robin coughed, glancing away.
"Cool… I mean, gasp, shudder," Raven slipped, reclining on the couch, watching Gadjo rampage through the undead horde while a group of the local superheroes watched, seemingly stunned.
"I think we need to take this one seriously," Robin managed, stopping the footage.
"Hopefully he just has anger issues with zombies," Raven chimed, biting into an apple. Robin stared at her.
"What?" she asked.
H.I.V.E.:
Jade stood with her Physical Feats class in a massive room with a needlessly high ceiling. What was it these guys and vaulted ceilings? Talk about a waste of space.
This was turning out to be one of her favorite classes. She had never been one to take well to lecturing, and this place had proven school could make even interesting stuff boring. The labs were more a presentation course where you worked on your own time and either had to prove competence on the spot or show results of your own work.
Physical classes, though, were task oriented, and Jade had always done well with tangible goals. While not as in her bag as Infiltration and Retrieval, Physical Feats was quite interesting. It was the class of how to survive and overcome random/ridiculous crap happening.
The teacher, who was less impressive than the course, seemed to have pulled out the stops today, Jade thought. She looked over the obstacle course that ringed the room save for the entryway and winner's circle adjacent to it.
Captain Hollywood was tall, fat, and wore an unflattering yellow and blue patterned spandex with a black cape. And his mask was a classic bandit mask that did nothing to conceal an ugly face and receding hairline. He was also unnecessarily loud.
"Alright, you red shirts in the making! You must be thinking you're getting a handle on this thing called villainy! That you're the next bit of hot shit to make the wanted poster! Well, these girl-kid hoops you've been jumping through might make you ready to attack the pretty unicorns in their pink castle, but when an A-list hero bursts through your wall with eight kinds of ass-kicking, you'll see what a cold donkey you really are!" he yelled at them.
"This, targets of justice, is THE GAUNTLET! I am allowed to have you kittens play on it under supervision only, because killing the lot of you would mean loosing your payments!
"This is out of your league! The only thing that will be shown today is how far out of your league THE GAUNTLET is!
"Observe! First, one must run through a hail of gun and laser fire over a coverless concrete terrain. Then dodge through radical terrain filled with spike pits while blades pop up. Then it's a path of crushers and killer pendulums over a lubricated surface with the only clear path the most dangerous! Then the water hazard, which is erratically charged with electricity and filled with unfriendly wildlife, followed by a minefield with a swarm of killer bees…
"Followed by the suspiciously pleasant meadow, and then getting past our school's genetic abomination mascot, Mr. Thingy. If you still have enough bodily fluids to pull it off, you will then ring the bell!
"Any questions! ?" the fat man bellowed at them.
Maybe his power was something to do with wind? She could have sworn he hadn't taken a breath in that rant. Jade raised her hand.
"Yes, little girl?" he shot at her with his customary insult. The fact she was a short girl made it less effective; she figured he was just lazy.
"So, the goal is to ring that bell as fast as possible?" Zhu Chan asked from behind her veil of shadows.
"Yes! Weren't you listening? ! Maybe you would like to go first? !" he yelled down at her, getting in her face. Well, more his gut getting in her face – very unpleasant, she wrinkled her nose at it.
"I would be delighted," she smiled, still unaware her teeth could be seen through the veil.
"Hohahaha, well ain't that cute! Little girl thinks a headline and a heist make her the hot ticket!
"Well, you won't be the first haughty to be broken by… THE GAUNTLET!" he roared in laughter. Jade swore yet again that she must never, ever, resort to maniacal laughter.
She silently walked over to the starting point and stood straight rather than taking position. The fat villain didn't bother to question, just blowing an air horn that was quieter than he was. A clock on the wall started to tick down her time, and Jade turned around, rising into the air.
"Huh?" Hollywood grunted as she cut past him.
Jade floated over to the winner's circle and grabbed the rope, ringing the bell. A horn sounded around them and the clock froze at seven seconds.
"Can she do that?" the fishy student asked. An Acolyte emerged from somewhere and drew up to where she floated, still holding the bell pull.
"New record, congratulations student," it intoned. Reaching into its robes it pulled out a thick wad of dollar bills and handed them to Jade. The Shadowkhan girl flipped through the bills, grinning at the denomination.
"Sweet," she grinned. She felt a shadow fall over her. Captain Hollywood was back, it would seem.
"Well, ain't that cute… BUT IT'S WRONG!" he bellowed his loudest yet into her face.
'Seriously?' Jade thought, as it had blown her hood back off her head.
"For that little stunt you will be getting DETENTION!" he roared.
"Wait a minute, did I even break a rule just now?" Jade shot back, frowning.
"This is as an evil school, you don't have to break the rules to be punished!
"After your classes, report for an evening of detention, in the Pit," he smirked… well, evilly. The whole class flinched at the announcement.
"Bad day," Jade whispered, pulling her hood back into place.
Next Morning:
"Hey Blue, how was the Pit?" Jinx asked, joining her team at the breakfast table.
"Not so bad," Jade shrugged, dipping a breakfast burrito into Gizmo's coffee while he poured over some schematics. Taking advantage of his moments of obliviousness was swiftly becoming habit regarding the foul-mouthed scientist.
"Well, I hope you're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, Blue-"
"Will you stop calling me that?" Jade asked, shoving the burrito into her mouth and pulling a bowl of breakfast miso up.
"Don't interrupt, Blue; anyway, the Headmaster has tapped you for helping in the heist of the Jadeite Panda. Apparently it has some jewel power source that Blood wants inside it. And the rock itself is worth more than a shiny penny," Jinx said. She was being sent to steal jade; Jade found that a bit amusing, in a punny sort of way.
"So when do we go?" she asked, before tipping her bowl of soup and inhaling.
"No 'we' – you're being sent on this assignment with Gadjo," Jinx told her, grinning. Jade sprayed the bowl's worth of miso across the table and all over Jinx.
"…" Jinx glared at her. Mammoth gave the blue girl a covert thumbs up.
"Eh, sorry? But why me? Isn't he working with that camo girl?" Jade pressed. Jinx grabbed a wad of napkins to try and clean herself off before answering.
"Machete, and she's in jail right now. Blood doesn't trust Gadjo to not break the loot or something, and you are the only other thief-style student he seems to think can work with Gadjo, and not be killed by him."
"Lucky me," Jade huffed.
Jump City, Later:
"Really, you call this a plan?" Jade huffed. She floated along down the street, looking every bit like some evil spirit creature in her villain outfit, with her face reduced to a black, red-eyed void. Next to her, Gadjo walked down the street over the double yellow line, taking a swig from a hip flask.
They had sent pedestrians running as they made their way toward the museum, and more than a few motorists – after swerving away – had abandoned their cars. The building in question was now in sight, in its rather typical neoclassical knockoff glory.
"Ah, plans are overrated, we go to where ugly green statue is, steal it, fight anyone that gets in the way. Why, you scared, Little Shadow?" Gadjo asked, tucking the steel flask into a pants pocket.
"Of course I'm not scared! But this, 'walking up and doing it' plan is just…" Jade yelled, offended. She was no chicken and had held her own against the Titans, who she hoped to be joining soon. Which would be easier if she could ditch Gadjo by "splitting up" and making some covert contact.
But while contemplating how wise it is to insult an "out and proud psychopath" to his face, it occurred to her.
"You're not an idiot," she declared. She had floated into his path to point an accusing finger at his broad chest.
"You say the nicest things, Little Shadow," Gadjo chuckled, coming to a stop.
"You're nuts for fighting, and you haven't gotten a big brawl with the Teen Titans. This strutting in broad daylight routine is just you getting yourself a fight!" she yelled.
Actually that could work to her advantage, but still. This was just bad, screwing up a goal like this, she thought. He didn't care about the task – he was just out to have his sick fun!
"Well, if it's trouble you two are looking for," Robin called.
"You found it," Cyborg finished. Zhu Chan gave an exasperated sigh and rotated in the air to find the Teen Titans standing on the museum stairs, ready to spring into action.
"Seriously? That was the best you could come up with?" Jade demanded. Why did the good guys have to be so… foolish? The only one who seemed to share her dislike for this kind of absurdity was Jinx, and she was evil!
"What? It's a classic!" Beast Boy protested.
"He's right," Gadjo chimed in.
"I think it's safe to say you two aren't museum hopping," Raven added her two cents. Okay, that was better, Jade admitted.
"Yes, we are here for the Jadeite Panda!" Gadjo answered, laughing.
"Did you have to tell them that?" Jade demanded, hands on hips.
"Yes," Gadjo told her, grinning widely.
"That statue is a priceless artifact, we're not going let criminals get their hands on it," Robin told them stonily.
"Really? And here I was hoping we were going to have a nice chat talking about how much this world sucks," Jade sighed, sarcastically speaking the truth.
"Now you're getting it!" Gadjo gave her a hearty pat on the back that knocked her into the steps with a thump.
"Whoops! Well, let's get the formalities out of the way then!
"Robin, stand aside before my might or when I defeat you I will break your girlfriend and eat her arms! A fate worse than death by zombie!" Gadjo roared, pointing to… Raven?
"She's… not my girlfriend," Robin said, coughing into his fist. Gadjo lifted an eyebrow and looked to Cyborg, who made a throat-clearing sound and pointed to Starfire behind the girl's back.
"Hmm! ?" Gadjo planted a foot on the lowest step and closed one eye, scrutinizing the confused Starfire. She looked to Beast Boy, who just shrugged; this was not how the routine went.
"…No," Gadjo declared, crossing his arms in an X.
"Excuse me?" Robin asked.
"Very nice, very pretty, but not what man like you needs. Good for a shoulder cry, a roll in tent, but not for girlfriend," Gadjo exclaimed with an almost informed-sounding finality.
"What would you know about it?" Raven asked, clearly irritated.
"Much and more!
"You see, long ago dinosaurs ruled this Earth! Then men like Gadjo kill dinosaurs and use their bones to make the first city. Very big, very manly city, like men who made it out of giant bones. But no one took out the trash, so the trash kept piling up, until the city exploded!
"Many died, and bones were scattered across planet to be dug up ages later. Men still wanted city, but did not want it blowing up with them in it. But they also would not take out trash.
"So women get job of making a man take out his trash. Men were annoyed and killed women for it. So Woman gives Man free sex, and he takes out the trash!
"So the trash was taken out, marriage came to be, and civilization rose to kick the Earth's ass!
"Which is why she can't be your girlfriend, she is not the type to make you take out the trash," Gadjo declared, crossing his arms and closing his eyes.
"…There are no words," Robin muttered, staring at the man, stunned.
"I am confused, human mating is rooted in waste disposal rituals?" Starfire asked.
"It all makes so much sense now!" Beast Boy cried, scribbling onto a notepad.
"What's going on here?" Raven asked, putting a hand to her face.
"I don't really know anymore," Cyborg admitted, turning to the Goth.
"He's being crazy, and you're being stupid!" Zhu Chan yelled, stomping between Raven and Cyborg… out of the museum, and carrying the much discussed panda statue in her arms.
"Yes, while you guys were being stupid, I went in and got the thing," she told them, stomping down the steps.
"Ah, my plan worked!" Gadjo cackled.
"Plan? There was no plan! You're just a crazy baka!" Jade yelled at him, the Japanese slipping out.
"No need for otaku, I give you full credit for your role, Little Shadow," Gadjo laughed, clapping her on the shoulder as she approached. Again, too hard, as the statue was knocked from her grip, and fell to the pavement, breaking in two.
The Titans stared at the pieces a moment before looking to the two villains.
"That was priceless!" Robin yelled, pulling out his staff.
"Don't yell at me, it's the crazy bastard's fault!" she yelled, before trailing off into what he guessed to be a stream of Japanese cursing as she picked up the two pieces.
"I can't believe we fell for such a stupid diversion!" Cyborg cursed.
"THERE WAS NO DIVERS-! …You know what? Never mind – you all have fun, I'm getting out of here," Zhu Chan screamed, before getting quiet and sighing.
"Oh? Then all the fighting is Gadjo's! Many thanks!" he gave the small girl a two-fingered salute. He thought she rolled her eyes to it, but it was hard to tell.
Robin leapt forward into action as Zhu walked toward a shadow cast by a laundry truck nearby.
"Titans, go!" he commanded. He stopped short of the blue girl as Gadjo grabbed him from the air by his ankle and spun, turning the momentum away. He let the Boy Wonder fly with a cackle, smacking right into an oncoming Raven.
As the teens lay sprawled, Gadjo closed one eye and framed them with his fingers.
"Ah yes, as I said, much better! And now, we fight!" he declared, catching Cyborg's metal fist with his own punch.
Later, Zhu Chan's Lab:
Jade floated in front of a worktable, vigorously grinding a dried lizard into powder. She muttered curses under her breath, and not the kind you put on people either.
The lab was coming along nicely – it was really getting that magic smell, with all the stuff she had been burning and brewing and powder escaping into the air.
It would be a nice atmosphere, if not for the steel drum solo next door!
"Will you keep it down!" she yelled at Gizmo without looking up from her work.
"Bite me!" the shrimp shouted back from whatever it was he was doing.
"You wouldn't survive!" she yelled back. She listened though, as the clanging was replaced by an engine revving up. Well, that was less irritating, at least.
Even though the Titans put Gadjo in the medical wing, it turned out Blood had been planning on breaking the statue anyway! Which meant she got a B- on the mission and the appropriate money.
"Which means magic with some sparks," Jade grinned as she set her mortar aside. The lizard was now a fine-grained powder. Picking up the basin, she carried it over to her smallest cauldron, which was situated over her fire pit with a mauve potion bubbling in it. Looking it over, she frowned.
"Not quite hot enough," she remarked. Closing one eye, she gave the cauldron a quick heat blast with the remaining eye. The bubbling sped up immensely and she dumped the powder into the mix.
"This is wrong but it feels so right," Jade commented as she grabbed up a mixing rod and began to stir the cauldron.
On the other side of the room, Gizmo watched the air distort between the needles protruding from their respective machines. They reddened, practically humming from exertion, yet it sparked! The spark bounced around in the distortion followed by first one then two more sparks reflected in his goggles.
"Yes, yes!" he cheered as the distortion took a spherical shape and began to glow red. He had done it! The power was his to harness and… why was it leaving?
"No, no!" he screamed as the sphere floated past him, still glowing.
"Hey, where are you going? !" Zhu called out, and he saw her chasing after a green ball with little tendrils trailing from it.
They each realized the other's predicament at about the same time. Shortly followed by the realization that their respective reactions were about to collide in mid-air.
"HIT THE DECK!" she cried, before doing just that as the energies met. A white flash filled the room, followed by something plopping to the ground with a squelch sound.
The two small villains looked up from their spots on the floor to see a small gray blob between them.
"What is that?" Gizmo demanded, walking up to the slime straddling the duct-tape line. Jade joined him with her mixing stick and poked the mass, to no effect.
"Sooo not what I was going for," she frowned. They raised their eyes to glare at each other.
"This is your fault!" they yelled in tandem. They didn't notice six red-scaled legs pop out of the blob.
"You got your magic in my science!" Gizmo yelled.
"No! You got your science in my magic!" Jade shot back.
The argument degenerated until Jade started whacking him with her rod and chased him back into his lab. The legs were quite large now, pulling the pulsing gray mass to its feet as a scaly patterned emerged across it.
A laser cut off the mixing rod above Jade's hands; she dropped it to let her fists be engulfed in visible heat.
She saw Gizmo's eyes go wide in shock. She smiled at her intimidation factor. Then she got that all too familiar, "there's something bad behind me", feeling.
Meanwhile:
Mammoth waked down the corridor, lifting a pair of enormous dumbbells, when the sound of explosions and gunfire from the lab door made him stop, raising an eyebrow. The door swung open, and a deafening roar blew his hair back. The two pint-sized villains ran out and braced the door behind them after slamming it shut.
The big guy kept walking as something pounded on the door roaring.
Mess Hall, Much Later:
"I can't believe it! Bad enough he makes a monster, but then it explodes! I just paid for most of that stuff!" Zhu Chan yelled, before biting a chicken leg in half.
"Wasn't that joint fail on your and Gizmo's part?" Jinx asked from her spot across the table from where the kid was devouring an assortment of fried chicken and drinking veggie soup.
Gizmo was at another table ranting as he tried to repair some piece of equipment. Mammoth sat with him, clearly not listening as he devoured a mound of potatoes.
"I blamed him in the incident report and I'm sticking to it," Zhu huffed.
"Well, at least he's putting up a blast shield between you two, Blue," Jinx offered, taking a spoonful of her French onion soup. She had recommended it to the blue girl, but the kid had practically flipped out at the offer. Apparently she didn't like onions.
"Not seeing him will be great, but I have to rebuild my lab! Everything's ruined but the cauldrons and the axe," Zhu sighed.
"Well, you'll have to work with Gizmo if you want to make money. We've got a job lined up for the Museum of Modern Culture tonight. Asking Gizmo to be reasonable is hopeless, what about you?" Jinx inquired. The red-eyed girl watched her for a moment before replying.
"Magic is better than science, and I'm better than him," she stated calmly. Jinx took that as a yes. The girl, having polished off her plate of chicken, began to drink down her soup without further comment.
Museum of Modern Culture, Late Night:
'I really need to get a better handle on my temper,' Jade chided herself. The HIVE students stood in a darkened gallery as Gizmo fiddled with a box that linked into the security of the exhibit they were here to rob. Apparently this world had a Great Houdini too, and right now the museum was hosting an exhibit on his life. The antiques had value of course, but apparently Blood had found out Houdini had possession of some magic artifact that was hidden among the possessions on display here.
As handy as a charm against death would be, it didn't much interest Jade – she was a capable survivor.
What was on her mind as she sulked in a shadow was her latest failure to cross over to the Titans.
Looking over her actions, she just seemed a bit less than her normal, laidback, cool self, if she said so herself. Her temper, while not as bad as before Robin let out the magic pressure, was still up and she was snarking left and right.
'It may be part of the Shadowkhan thing. But I bet having to work long nights to do my own research and keep up with the H.I.V.E. work doesn't help.' It had been made clear a dip in school performance could land her worse than the Pit.
The fact she needed to show these bad guys a strong front didn't do her temperament any favors. She was bound up and she was the kind to take relief where she could find it. It felt so good to blow up at stupidity when it reared its stupid head!
'And let's not forget the psycho who either wants to be my best pal, or serve me up hot on a bun.
'I need to get back home before I turn into a little psycho,' she told herself. Next time she met up with the Titans she would tell them she wanted to join, even if Brother Blood was standing behind her. She nodded in the dark, expressing her determination. She was Jade Chan, and she didn't get ground down.
"Blue? Show time," Jinx called into the shadow she had seen the pint-sized witch hide in.
Jade emerged from the shelter of the shadows, and at Jinx's prompting floated through into the exhibit chamber. She guessed the floor was still rigged, and that that was the reason Jinx had wanted her here.
Jade looked over the displays she passed, their lights turned back on by Gizmo. Despite the circumstances, she found it awesome to see stuff like this for the great escape artist. Even before learning magic was real she liked those kinds of acts, popping up out of nowhere, producing objects from thin air, escaping binds, etc. Her little attempts to play at magician had paid off in dividends when real adventure came her way.
"Blue, you're not here to play tourist," Jinx snapped. Jade looked away from the straitjacket display she had been viewing, complete with newspaper clippings. She considered sending some witty insult back at the witch, but thought better of it.
Her browsing brought her to the object of her outing soon enough. Displayed alongside other personal affects of the great man, its card simply declared it a lucky charm that he had worn a number of times.
Jade could see how easily such a thing could be overlooked; it was a silver disk a bit bigger than her thumbnail. She could just barely make out the ankh engraved on its surface. She wondered if Blood had his data right; she sensed nothing from this piece.
"So now what?" she called back to the others.
"Reach through the glass and take it!" Jinx yelled.
"What? I can't reach through stuff!" Jade yelled back.
"Of course you can, you walk through shadows!" Jinx yelled.
"That's teleportation, I can't just stick a piece of me through. Besides, the interior is well lit; there aren't any shadows big enough for me to fit through! In fact I can't fit in this display case!" Jade yelled back, looking over her goal.
"What! ? Why didn't you tell me that? !" Jinx demanded.
"You never asked, don't blame me for your bad planning! I can always try and cut it open with my eyes…" Jade muttered. A drum roll distracted her from her goal as she looked around. A spotlight clanked on and blinded her as she looked up into the beam of light.
Rubbing her eyes, she didn't see it rove the room and pass over the other HIVE students as the drumming sped up. Jinx frowned and groaned when she spotted a room spanning red curtain she knew hadn't been there a moment ago.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to our Late, Late Night Matinee, and without further ado I give you the main attraction, the Amazing Mumbo!" a dramatic voice echoed before the curtains parted to reveal a very thin and pointy man wearing a magician's suit and hat with red cape. More notably was a very large pointed nose, an eye concealing bandit mask, snow-white hair, and the fact his skin was blue.
"What the hell?" Jade asked, pulling her hands away from her eyes as Mumbo waved and blew kisses in answer to applause that existed only in his head.
"Thank you, you are too kind," Mumbo told the audience as the curtains fell from whatever was securing them, shattering two displays when their rod hit. Jade winced at the breaking glass followed by almost certain silent alarms. Jinx looked fit to burst.
"Mumbo, you idiot! What are you doing here?" Jinx demanded while Gizmo ascended on his robot legs.
"Isn't it past your bedtimes? But who am I to discourage eager fans? Here, take some souvenirs!" he said, clapping his hands together and pulling them apart to reveal a deck of cards. Putting a finger against the edge of the deck with flourish, he bent the deck and released it in a spray. The cards streaked over the HIVE trio, adhering to them.
As they struggled, Mumbo performed a face heel turn and put a hand to his chin.
"Cute kids, but still green as bad cotton candy.
"Now let's see, if I'm going to do a tribute performance to one of the greatest ever in the business, I need an object of tribute for the show!" Mumbo declared. Jade watched him, pulling shadow around her and narrowing her eyes. She became a darker piece of black hanging in the air, with only very thin lines of red showing.
"Been done," the mad magician declared, looking over a straitjacket.
"Classic, but too predictable," he dismissed a case full of various handcuffs.
"Cliché!" he pinched his nose, looking at a giant football on display.
"Whatcha got here kid?" Mumbo asked. Knocking the semi invisible Jade aside he swiftly entered her space. The blue man pressed his face to the glass till his nose bent down.
"Aha! Perfect! Showy but not flashy, genuine but not overselling. Yes, I see it taking pride of place on my lovely volunteer!" Mumbo declared, his face reflected on the sought after disk. When a simmering-eyes Jade rose into the air, it was to the sight of Mumbo using a glasscutter to open a hole in the display.
The task done, he tossed the circle of glass and tool into his top hat and plucked the pendant with a newly free hand.
"Hey! I saw that first!" Jade objected.
"Ah a fan!Or should I say knockoff? I applaud your commitment, but the eyes are all wrong. And who designed that downer of stage ware?" Mumbo demanded.
"Listen, take whatever you want, but I need to bring that piece back," Jade growled.
"Sorry, I don't hand out props, but I do sell autographs," Mumbo said, producing a spread of photos of himself in one hand.
Jade fired a heat blast at him, destroying the photos, before lunging with an explosive fire building in her fist. Mumbo stepped forward, holding out his hat to catch the fiery blast in its depth, and with a lunge Zhu Chan's head and the rest of her were carried in by her attack.
The blue girl out of sight, he held out his hat, smiling.
"But I'm all for helping the aspiring young get into the game, lucky for you! Time for a new assistant, PRESTO CHANGO!" Mumbo declared, tapping the brim of his hat with his wand.
Noon Next Day, Artie Jones Auditorium (2):
The four Titans stepped into the empty auditorium; the lights were down as if for a performance. Robin crushed the engraved invitation they had received from the magician earlier giving his time and place.
Mumbo was too much like the Joker – too much a pointless agent of chaos. The saving grace was that at least his powers could be turned off for a while. The Joker's super power was being the Joker, and there was no way to stop that.
"Ah good, I was worried you would be late and miss the show. But no worries, you are on time!" Mumbo called from the stage. He stood in front of a curtained-off section of the stage, grinning at being in his element.
"We're here Mumbo, where's Starfire?" Robin demanded. Raven took to the air, floating down over the empty seats while Beast Boy morphed into a rat and darted under them. Cyborg followed Robin down the aisle towards the stage where Mumbo waited.
"My volunteer? Why, she is all set for her big debut!
"This is no ordinary performance, we are here to honor the Great Harry Houdini! And what better way to honor than to go past emulation to a trumping tribute!" Mumbo announced, and with a wave of his magic wand the curtains pulled back.
Starfire was revealed to be bound in a chair and gagged. The chair was in an apparatus of some sort. Panels covered in long metal spikes were pulled taut by ropes, ready to savage her torso, a pair of over sized drills flanked her head, three spear guns were aimed at her front, and a pair of saw blades were poised to cut into her thighs. Finally, he noticed a bomb with a pressure tip dangling over her head by a chain.
"Will the lovely Starfire – note the authentic Houdini pendant she is wearing – be able to escape the most deadly engine of destruction 1974 had to offer, in only five minutes! ? Let's find out!" Mumbo proclaimed, pulling a lever built into the stage. The various implements of torture started to whir into motion. (3)
"Titans go!" Robin yelled, sprinting down towards the stage.
"Now, now, no upstaging! I guess this is a good time to introduce my assistant," Mumbo chided, taking off his hat and rifling through it.
"Let's see now, where did I…? Ah, there you are!" Mumbo muttered as he reached up to his shoulder into the hat. Pulling his arm clear, he held a blue monkey up by the tail. Wearing a strangely familiar cloak.
"Take care of this," Mumbo told it, before swinging it by the tail and hurling it at Robin. Robin ducked and rolled, leaving the monkey to hit Cyborg's metal chest with a clang.
"Ook!" it groaned as Cyborg stopped. The simian fell off the metal plate, onto the stairs.
"Uh, sorry?" Cyborg apologized as Beast Boy popped up next to him.
"I've had worse," she muttered, getting to her feet, and opening glowing red eyes.
"AHH! Evil demon monkey!" they screamed.
"Hey! Just because I have glowing red eyes doesn't make me evil!" the apparently female monkey yelled at them. Cyborg noted the voice and the spiky head fur visible now that the hood was back.
"Actually, it's a fairly good indicator. I mean, look at Raven," Beast Boy pointed out.
"Oh? Well, he's got one glowing red eye all the time. Does that make him half evil?" Monkey Jade demanded.
"Zhu Chan?" Cyborg asked, looking down at her.
"Of course, who else would it be?" she seethed. There was a moment of silence broken by the sounds of explosions and Mumbo laughing.
"You really need to shave your legs," Beast Boy stated.
"Okay, so I got turned into a monkey! Fix it!" she huffed, crossing her arms while her tail twitched.
"Excuse me?" Cyborg asked.
"You're the heroes," she spat.
"We're actually kind of busy saving Starfire right now… oh crap!" Beast Boy tried to explain, before remembering what they were doing. In their haste, they practically trampled the monkey girl to save their orange friend. Jade bared her teeth, taking a perch on the back of a seat, watching the battle start to unfold in earnest.
"Jerks," she muttered.
"Tell me about it," Jinx sighed. Jade made a monkey scream, turning to see Jinx sitting in the next row over.
'So this is what I put Jackie though?' she wondered.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"Blood isn't about to let a loose canon like Mumbo steal his stuff," Jinx answered, getting to her feet. Jade thought for a moment how much Blood must want that pendant. Then it occurred to her she was the "stuff" in question, which was just great.
Scowling, she watched Mumbo hold Robin at bay, cracking a whip made out of tied handkerchiefs and a wooden chair.
"So how do we fix this?" Jade asked, pulling her hood lower to better conceal her face. She couldn't form her shadow veil at the moment, and despite her clothes beneath the first layer being gone, the Talismans were out of sight. And apparently untappable.
"Mumbo's weakness is his wand. The hat is the source of his power and indestructible, but the wand is how he accesses its power. And the wand can be broken, which undoes all of the spells he has cast with that wand," Jinx explained, getting up and stretching her arms.
"So I just need to snatch a powerful object right from under someone's nose?" Jade asked slyly.
XXX
"How about some off the cuff tricks?" Mumbo asked as he stepped around and ducked under Robin's staff swipes. Stepping inside Robin's guard, he flicked his wrist and Robin staggered. The staff clattered on the ground, and Robin stood with his hands cuffed together.
"Or should I say 'on the cuff'? Hahaha!" Mumbo laughed at the seething Boy Wonder. Beast Boy struggled in a straitjacket that was shape shifting along with him nearby. Raven's shadows were covering his death trap, trying to hold it back by pushing against the magic flowing through it. Cyborg naturally was trying to free the struggling Starfire.
"Ah, ah! That's cheating!" he chided Cyborg, who glared at the wizard over his shoulder. Robin chambered a kick and struck at the magician whose back was turned to him. Only to slip on a spread of oil on the stage.
Seeing his team was down for the moment, the largest Titan looked to Raven, who gave him a quick nod. Standing and turning, he transformed his hand into the sonic cannon.
Mumbo only grinned wider, lifting his forearm and pressing his wand hand on it like a gunslinger. A hex blast took him in the back, sending him to the floor face first.
A surprised Cyborg looked up from the downed wizard to see Jinx standing behind him with the monkey Zhu on her shoulder.
"You guys are helping us?" he asked.
"Please, this is just sharing a mutual problem," Jinx rolled her eyes. Zhu leapt from her perch and scampered to Mumbo and his outstretched hand. She was reaching for the wand when the arm lashed out, nailing her over the nose with the hard wood. Mumbo was on his feet in an eye blink, tapping his wand on his fist, no worse for wear.
"Ah, my assistant, just in time to lend some assistance!" he declared. He waved his wand, and in a puff of smoke an organ grinder appeared on the stage.
"Bad day," Jade gulped, guessing where this was going. Sure enough, the device began to crank itself and music began to pour out. Jade began to jump to a Russian kick dance, and with one leap took the involuntary attack to Cyborg's face. While Cyborg was occupied, he turned his attention to Jinx in time to duck under two hex blasts.
Vanishing in a puff of smoke, Jinx looked around for the mad magician. A tugging on her clothes was her only warning before he ripped her costume. Underneath, she now wore a strapless tight magician's assistant outfit.
"So many young ladies applying for the same job! What is a man to do? ! I know! Thin the herd!" he declared. With snap of his fingers, the pressure moving against Raven practically doubled.
"That was harassment," Jinx spat at him, trying to make her bared legs less conspicuous. Jade leapt up to kick her in the gut, doubling her over.
"Correction, that's showbiz!" Mumbo declared.
Robin rose to his feet only to nearly get a monkey foot in the face; deflecting the blow, he was forced back across the stage. It seemed that the magic had made her a very powerful kicker at the moment, and he was handicapped by the handcuffs. He could get rid of the monkey girl or free himself from the cuffs, but not both.
"Can you make her do the Monkey?" Beast Boy asked, popping up next to Mumbo. Jade glared at him for making a crack at a time like this.
"Make a monkey do the Monkey? ! What kind of elementary school birthday party do you take this for! ? A true showman knows how to be spontaneous, observe!" he told Beast Boy. With a snap of his gloved fingers, the music changed and Jade stopped kicking and started doing the Funky Chicken.
Robin grinned and slipped a think metal rod out of one of his gloves, moving it into his hand.
"See?" Mumbo asked, satisfied. He turned to see a giant fist connect with his face. The blow from the green gorilla knocked him clear off his feet and into the air. The wand slipped from his grasp into Jinx's outstretched hand.
After a moment's hesitation, feeling power pulse through the object, the young villain snapped it in two. A puff of smoke engulfed her.
Coughing, she waved the smoke away and saw a sleeve covered her arm again. Jinx heard a fire roar up, and turned to see Zhu Chan back to normal, floating into the air with a heat wave around a fist.
Starfire was free too, and they were focused on the depowered old man Mumbo had become.
Zhu fired off an explosive blast, which struck just in front of the old man, sending him flying into the air. He let out a shrill cry, which was cut off as he was caught in the apex of his flight. He let out a sigh of relief before looking to his rescuer, a grim faced Starfire.
"Thanks for being such a great sport!" he thanked her with a pleading tone. Starfire punched him in the gut.
"The groin! Work his groin!" Zhu shouted at what she considered an all too tame beat down.
"Man, I'd think you'd have a bit more sympathy," Beast Boy noted.
"He kidnapped me, turned me into a monkey, and made me dance! Why would I sympathize?" she demanded.
"Well, you two seem to have so much in common, I was thinking…" Beast Boy began, before trailing off. Clearly he had second thoughts about what he was saying, but the girl was locked onto him now.
"Oh, I see! Just because were both blue magic users there's got to be some connection! There is no connection! You can tell that to your uncle Martian Manhunter, after I tell Cyborg you do racial profiling!" she began to rant. Beast Boy looked scandalized while Raven just shook her head and the other boys took the unconscious Mumbo into custody.
With a series of booms, smoke engulfed the stage and Jade felt someone grab her wrist and drag her off.
'Time for an exit, stage right,' Jinx thought with a smirk as they made their escape.
Shortly:
Jade had missed another chance to defect to the Titans, but she hardly cared right now. She tried to pull her hood lower even though her shadow veil already hid her face. She was certain her flush was showing through.
She had never been so humiliated! Why a monkey, of all things! ?
The first time had given her nightmares after how close her call had been set in. True, the monkeys had helped her out, but she could all too easily imagine being left behind on that island. Written off as missing, presumed drowned, or some such. And living out her whole life a monkey among monkeys!
She had taken that shape one more time to prove to herself it didn't scare her. And got back in her own skin quick!
As if getting stuck as a Shadowkhan wasn't bad enough, she gets turned into a freaking monkey-Shadowkhan?
She had lost control too, that blasted organ grinder forcing her body to Mumbo's insane whims. A passenger in her own body…
Those over assertive instincts had kept her from martial arts training, and now someone else had actually taken control.
And that green geek! How dare he! How dare he! Did he think he was funny! ?
"Well, Blood won't be happy, the Titans got the pendant, but we're still the only ones who know what it does," Jinx sighed, putting her hands in her pockets.
"Jinx?" Zhu asked. The taller girl looked over and saw Zhu pull back her hood and look at her. Her expression was unusually easy to read. Hurt… hurt and sad, with a hint of anger.
"Could you leave the organ grinder bit out of the report?" she asked softly.
"Sure," Jinx answered. The other villain perked up and looked at her, surprised then skeptical. Jinx wondered a bit herself, but still she agreed with her gut on this.
"I know about being humiliated for others' amusement. They won't hear it from me," Jinx said, surprised by her own conviction. It did bring back memories, she recalled sadly.
The blue girl smiled at her as they continued their walk through the back alleys of Jump City.
1). Ah Invader Zim.
2). A shout out to the Tick.
3). Once more to the Tick!
AN:
I credit this update to my brother getting me the Tick Season One disc for my birthday. It brought back lots of pleasant memories and lured my muse out of her cave on this story. If you don't know the Tick, go forth and enlighten yourself to the ways of the Great Blue Blunder. 'For like a triple scoop of great blue justice, he does not melt in the sun, and no sprinkles are necessary!'
Yeah, I owe a lot to that series. My start as a writer was parodies of various genres inspired by the City and its population of off beat heroes and villains.
Regarding this chapter, as the title suggests it is more setting up matters with less forward movement. Jade settling into the H.I.V.E. and Jump City in general. I'm a bit worried Gadjo may be getting too much screen time; fun as he is to write, one has to be careful in the use of OCs. Well, he isn't slated to appear next chapter at all.
No great fights this time. But next chapter will have a jailbreak that promises some juicy carnage for you battle lovers out there.