A/N: Anonymous request from tumblr - "Roberta's [pre-school] classmates don't believe her when she says that Johnny Karate is her dad." Went a little farther than that and had a little fun.

Lots of kid-fic requests lately. I like it! Got a few more like this, and I've got an idea that may have started from one of the plot points in this one-shot.

It's another Friday for the class in the Old Eagleton Preschool, Room 102A: a usual half-day with time set at the end of the day for something special. Roberta mostly likes her teacher, Miss Penny the seventy year old who talks like her fake Grandma, but she hates surprises like these. Sometimes they're fun, like pizza or when someone has a birthday and they all get cake, but then they sit and watch more of those stupid cartoons - the one her mom watches are so much cooler - before they leave.

That day, everyone sat down without cake or pizza. Or cupcakes, which were pretty much little cakes and Roberta doesn't get why they're called cupcakes but neither does her dad so that's okay.

"Quiet down," Miss Penny says gruffly, her voice hoarser than usual. "Today we have a very, uh, special guest."

The door to the small room bursts open then, making the old woman pull back before a single guitar chord echoes out loudly. Music is her favorite part of the "lessons" they have, but it's all super boring in comparison to her dad's songs. Then she's even more confused because the person that walks in is her dad.

"This is-"

"The return of Johnny Karate!" her dad interrupts, and Roberta's smiling because she knows the song he's playing.

Except he doesn't sing the same words over it, and instead of being about how gross mommy is they're about doing well in school. Then he puts on weird sunglasses and she's even more confused. A lot of the kids around her are extremely excited, and some of them even look like they recognize him - how could they? - and she doesn't know what to do. Eventually he stops singing the song and sits on one of the comically tall stools, except he actually fits on them and his feet touch the ground.

"Miss Penny here," he waves to their teacher who groans, "tells me some of you are being mean to each other."

"No!" the offenders yell back, clearly singling themselves out.

Roberta joins them, because James is the weirdest kid in all of Pawnee and everyone knows it. Why shouldn't she mess with his lunch? Johnny Karate - her dad, Roberta was still confused why he was called that because mommy always said 'Andy' to him - looks at her and his face falls a little before he goes back to smiling widely to the rest of them. She doesn't like how disappointed he looks.

"Well, I can tell you that," he stands up, playing a progression between his words, "that being mean isn't being cool."

And after that he breaks into a song about how cool people are nice to each other, but it's supposed to be about her stuffed penguin Cam and how he's the best stuffed animal ever. Her dad walks around and bops some of the offenders with his foot, lightly pushing them, while he sings about the mean people. When he gets to her he crouches down and sits cross-legged by the kids. She feels like he's about to yell at her but he keeps singing.

To be fair, James just didn't talk a lot. When he cried about his lunch Roberta felt bad, but she still didn't say anything. Instead she gave Miss Penny the bag of chips that she'd stolen from him. James stopped crying after the teacher gave him the bag, and Roberta felt a little better but other people kept teasing him. She wonders sometimes if he deserves it, so she just doesn't do anything to him anymore.

Now, she's sitting next to him and he's clapping along to her dad's song. When he's around music she likes him a little more.

"All right, all right," the much older woman interrupts the song, "you kids can go home now. Your parents are waiting in the lobby."

"No," Roberta explains loudly in much the same way she usually interrupts the stupid things the woman says, "my daddy's here."

When she points to "Johnny Karate" everyone laughs, even James. Then her dad smiles and swings his guitar around his back on the strap, taking her hand and walking out of the room while the rest of the kids shout various things at them. Mostly "ooh's" and "ah's" of varying intensity, a few of them sounding jealous, and Miss Penny joining in with an annoyed grumbling. Outside, in the lobby where the other parents were, her dad stops and kneels in front of her.

"Who were you being mean to?" he asks, talking in that serious voice that's a lot less fun.

"Nobody," she lies.

"Bug, you're so bad at lying," he laughs, throwing in the nickname because he knows she hates it.

Well, she hates it when other people hear it. When they're playing or at home, getting tucked in, then it's fine. Mom really likes the nickname too.

"Him," she points to James as he walks over to his mother. She never sees his dad.

"Okay."

Then they're walking over to the two of them despite Roberta's refusal at first. When they get over there, James's mom looks really tired and seems surprised when they walk over.

"Hi!" her dad says excitedly, waving with one hand and keeping her hand safely in the other.

"Hello," the other woman says cautiously in return, but when James waves to Roberta and she makes a noise in response she smiles.

"And you must be James," he kneels down and looks to the small boy, who gives him a quizzical look. "Well, Roberta here just wanted to say something to you."

His mom starts making weird motions with her hands but Roberta doesn't really pay attention to those. She looks up to her dad instead because she knows what he means. Sorry? Why was she sorry? Oh, right - she made James cry.

Still, that was no reason for her to apologize. You're only supposed to apologize to your dad when you steal his guitar strings or your mom when you play with her phone a little too hard. Then her dad gives her that funny look - his eyebrows all pushed together and close to that disappointment again - so she sighs loudly.

"Sorry," she says quickly and James smiles.

Then his mom does something weird with her hands again, and it takes a while of watching the little boy stare at them before he starts doing similar things with his own in response. Roberta finds that she sits looking at her own hands, wondering what cool things they were talking about that made them both so happy, until the woman holding his hand returned to looking at her dad.

"Thank you, apology accepted," she smiles and breaks away to talk to her dad.

Meanwhile the two of them are left alone, and Roberta tries to make some of the same shapes and figures with her hands. James tilts his head and then he's shaking his head, twisting his fingers in a circle. She doesn't understand that one.

"You're weird," she says slowly hoping that he'll understand her if she speaks really slow, but he doesn't say anything. He just keeps smiling.

Then they leave and Roberta asks her dad why James doesn't talk. He says something about "death and mute" and just confuses her more, so she doesn't ask him again. Why wouldn't he just say what his mom did? She couldn't really remember when she heard him say anything last anyways. Maybe mom will be able to explain it better. She always explains things better than dad.