**written by: thesketchytepe**

12:52 PM

He could only think about her. Despite Historia and Ymir's murders, despite Marco falling into an open grave and almost getting buried alive, despite the horrible thoughts of Eren being the mastermind behind it all, he could only think about Sasha.

Every time an image of her big brown eyes or long maroon hair or her crooked teeth flashed behind his eyes, it felt like getting stabbed in the chest. Knowing she would never wake up again made his vision burn and his knees shake. How was he doing this right now? His other half just died—a very brutal death with no answer to its cause—and he was running up this impossible hill with two dickheads who've seemingly forgotten what just happened. He wanted to go back to that barn and lie down beside her like he's done so many times before. He didn't care about the dark or, frankly, about the dangerously ambiguous situation they were all stuck in. He just wanted Sasha back.

"Fuck this shit," he spat under his breath, tears forming in his eyes again. "Fuck it all, fuck it."

But here he was, still running for a life he didn't have.

His lungs ached and his legs were on fire. Pulses of pain coursed through his body with each step he took. It was nothing compared to the damage done to his heart and soul, but holy shit, how much longer would it take to get to the highway?

A heavy thud and a low "oomph!" came from somewhere above him. Connie peeked up and found Berthold's long, narrow body laying on the ground. He scrambled to get up but ended up tripping again.

Reiner went to help him up, making sure to slow his pace as he turned to go down the hill a little. He reached out to grab Berthold's bicep with his right hand, the shotgun in his left. Berthold struggled to his feet and squeezed Reiner's shoulder in thanks. His dark sweater was probably covered in mud and leaves, but the pitch black night prevented Connie from seeing him.

"Fucking idiots," he muttered as he jogged pass them. "Don't fucking fall. Don't you guys watch horror movies?"

"This isn't a fucking movie, Connie," Reiner snapped back in a whisper. "Our friends are dead right now."

"You don't think I fucking know that!" He stopped to slam a fist into the blond mountain's shoulder. "You don't think I know that Sasha's fucking dead! What the fuck does that mean, you worthless piece of shit!"

"Hey, hey!" Berthold swiveled around Reiner and grabbed Connie's flying arms. "Connie, come on. Now's not the time."

"Then when? Someone's gotta pay for what's been done! And you guys don't seem very considerate of Sasha's life! Or Historia and Ymir for that matter."

"You don't think we're freaked out right now?" Reiner challenged, leaning over Berthold's shoulder and down at Connie. "I can't stop thinking about them. But we can't pause to let it all sink in now; we have to get help."

"Fuck you!" Connie's voice rose to a shout and Berthold quickly slapped a hand across his mouth.

"Connie, please!"

His oval eyes widened some more. With the hand he had around Connie's wrist, he lifted a pointer finger into the air.

"We have to get moving and we have to be quiet. Remember what Marco said? Eren could be watching us right now."

Connie peered at him. His vision was getting blurry and his head felt light. "You really think he did this? But-But why?"

"Yeah, Bert." Reiner's tone was flat, maybe a little betrayed. "You think he did this?"

Berthold whipped his head in his direction. "It's like you said: we can't stop to let it all sink in. Let's get going; watch your step." He shot another worried look at Connie. "And please stay quiet."

He started running again, his long spider legs disappearing into the dark. Reiner sniffed and ran after him. Connie rubbed at his eyes and looked around them. Everything was black and dead. The night seemed to get darker as time dragged on and the pine trees waltzed with the autumn air. The path they were running up to looked exactly the same as the path behind them. Where was the light in all this darkness, the one thing they were searching so hard for?

He gripped at his stomach, feeling sick of it all, and started running again.

He wasn't sure how long they'd been running, but it felt like hours. His entire body burned and he was so fucking tired of not being able to see anything. He panted like a wild dog, his legs felt like jello, his throat ached. He suddenly felt dizzy and slowed to a stop, falling to his knees. Pine needles stuck to his sweaty palms as he tried to catch his breath.

"Hey, what happened to 'don't fucking fall?'" Reiner's voice drilled into his head like a jackhammer.

"I…didn't fucking…fall," he wheezed out, glaring up at the giant of a man.

He didn't move toward Connie, but simply stood and waited for him, the shotgun gripped firmly in both hands. Berthold had also slowed to a halt further ahead.

"Do we even know if we're heading in the right direction?" Connie huffed. His arms trembled as he slowly straightened back up.

Berthold whipped out his phone. He had the brightness on to a low, apparently still afraid of the possibility that Eren was watching in on them. His worried face stared at it as he held it in the air like some sacrificial offering.

"Still no signal," he whimpered.

"But are we heading in the right direction, Berthold?"

"Y-Yes. We came down the hill in order to get to the cabin, remember? The highway shouldn't be too far off."

Connie caught the hesitation in his voice. Berthold was always hesitant in his responses, however, yet this time it mattered more.

"You…you have no…" The energy drained from him; he could feel it leaving his body. He took two steps forward and, when his limbs suddenly became a liquid, he lost his footing and gravity pushed him backward, sending him flying down the hill.

"Connie!"

He tumbled down several yards, hitting his head against the cold, hard ground a couple times. More pine needles plastered onto his clammy skin and something sharp tore at his clothes. He, of course, had no idea where he was going. He tried reaching out for anything that would catch his fall and he eventually did. Shooting pain burst in his stomach like a firecracker when he rammed into the trunk of a tree.

Something wet dribbled from his mouth and it reeked of rotten food and metal. He groaned and slowly curled around the tree as if it were a part of him. Drowsiness flittered over his eyes. His arms couldn't stop shaking. It felt like a rock was stuck in his stomach, weighing him down. And yet he felt so light.

"Connie! Connie, you alright?"

It sounded like Reiner's voice because the footfalls that came toward him were heavy, determined. But he sounded so far away, somewhere in a cave or at the bottom of the ocean.

Something bubbled up his throat and he didn't bother to hold it down. He let the warmth slip through his teeth in a hoarse coughing fit. The dampness on his cracked lips grew and the smell got stronger. God, he smelled so bad.

He then sensed Reiner's hand on his spine, pulling him back. He was slow, way too slow. Were they both trapped somewhere underwater?

Reiner's sculpted face came into his view. It was tight and concentrated, but as his small eyes scanned his condition, they grew to the size of dinner plates. Horror settled on his features and the look scared Connie as well.

"What? Is it bad?" he slurred through his slick lips.

"Is everything alright?" Berthold came up behind Reiner, his phone aimed at Connie. It was much brighter this time and he had to squint at the sudden burst of light.

Reiner didn't say anything. He merely glanced at Berthold over his shoulder and waited for his reaction.

Berthold peered at Connie and soon his expression fell like ash from the sky.

"Was that from the tree or…?" he whispered through the fear.

Reiner shook his head slowly and looked back down at Connie. "I heard him cough it up."

"What?" Connie pried. He swiped the back of his hand across his mouth. "Am I—?"

The dark streak of red smeared over his knuckles stole his words and left him hanging. Something tiny and solid sat on his hand. It looked like a popcorn kernel.

Terror struck his heart like lightning and tears immediately began welling up in his bloodshot eyes. "What? No. What the fuck? What is that? Is that a fucking-"

"You just puked up blood," Reiner mumbled. Connie barely heard him; the shock clogged his throat. "And your arms keep twitching."

Reiner hesitated before breathing out, "Just like Sasha."

The tears rain down his face but he made no sound. Connie could only stare at his shaking hand, at the blood stain, at the popcorn kernel. The darkness surrounding them had finally made its way into him, but, strangely, he didn't feel as scared as he thought he would. Naturally, his heart pumped wildly in his chest and his breath was heavy, but that could've been from running. Fear hadn't really registered in his brain. All he thought about was Sasha's symptoms before her death and the food that was stuck to her lips as she screamed through the pain, "He's trying to kill me! He's inside of me!"

It was smashed pieces of popcorn. Eren made that whole bowl of popcorn for her and Connie had eaten some of it. It was Eren—Eren was the killer in the woods.

"I'm going to die," he hiccupped through his tears. "Eren is going to kill me, just like he killed Sasha."

"No, no, you're not," Reiner said slowly as if he were in a trance. "Eren…didn't kill anyone. He's still in the basement at the cabin."

"You fucking idiot, don't you see?" Connie snapped at him despite the twisting pain in his stomach. His leg shifted against the tree and his hand—the one with his blood on it—batted at the air. Twitching, puking blood, next would be a full-out seizure.

"It's like Jean said," Connie bit back, "Eren is behind it all. He made that popcorn for Sasha and she started puking it up not even an hour ago and now I'm gonna die just like she did. He put something in it; he probably went out and killed Historia and Ymir while the lights were out at the cabin. Marco fell in an open grave and almost died. Fuck, Armin, Mikasa, and Annie are probably dead already. He's going to kill you all."

The more he talked, the deeper underwater he went. Everything wavered and darkened and moved slowly. His heartbeat thumped against his eardrums and he felt so hot and sticky that he wanted to rip off his own flesh if that would make him any cooler.

"Hey, Connie, don't do that." Reiner lightly slapped his cheeks. The world cleared for a moment, but the dark was quick to intervene. "Connie, stay with me. You're gonna be fine."

He snorted as his head rolled to the side like a bowling ball. "Well, you're on a time limit, buddy. What'cha gonna do?"

He felt his elbow twitch and his legs kick at the pine needles. Pain stabbed at his stomach again and he gripped it, moaning.

Reiner's hands gripped at his arms tightly; it was starting to hurt him but he didn't mention anything. "We have to go back to the cabin," he heard him say to Berthold.

"What? We can't. We're so close to the highway."

"How is the highway gonna help us now?" Reiner practically screamed at his boyfriend. "What are we gonna do, call an ambulance?"

"Yes!" Berthold shouted back. "That's the whole point! We're going to get help and send it back here. Maybe someone will drive by and we can wave them down and tell them to take us to the hospital."

"If there's anyone out there. We don't have time to gamble for anything. You aren't even sure if we're heading in the right direction. No one else can die tonight, I won't allow it."

"That's exactly what's going to happen if we go back down there. Eren's still here and—"

"Why do you keep accusing—"

"Why don't you ever listen to me?" Berthold shrieked at the top of his lungs, his voice thick with tears. "It's abundantly clear that Eren is at least involved in all of this and we'll be walking right into his trap if we go back down there. What do you plan to do there anyway? How is that going to save Connie?"

Reiner stammered before blurting out, "Then why don't you take Connie and I'll go back? Annie is still there, or have you forgotten about her?"

Berthold sighed and Connie thought he heard him laugh a little. Maybe it was the overwhelming nervousness that made him snicker in hopelessness or maybe it was the blood in his ears that was playing tricks on him.

"Annie will be fine," he sobbed. "She's smart and strong enough to get herself out of any situation. Jean and Marco are heading her way anyhow. Please, let's just go to the highway, Reiner."

Through the murkiness, Connie saw Berthold grip Reiner's jacket and tug on it desperately. He was taller than him, but he still looked like a weepy little child compared to Reiner.

"I'm trying to save you, why can't you see that?" he cried hysterically. "Stop looking for a reason to get yourself killed. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. Please, Reiner, please let's go to the highway. Connie doesn't have much longer, but he'll have a chance if we get there in time."

As they argued, Connie looked at the midnight sky. The pine trees towered over him and blocked most of his view, but he was lucky enough to see little dots of white twinkle high above. It was easy to ignore the random twitching of his limbs and the aching in his stomach because Sasha filled up his mind, as she did majority of the time. He remembered one particular night spent with her, way before they bought an apartment together. It was 2 AM and they talked about things they hadn't spoken about with others.

"Isn't it weird that literally every decision we make determines our future?" she wondered.

"You mean the butterfly effect?" He smirked. "Like if I decide to take a shit in the morning versus at night? That's gonna help me somehow get into college?"

"Everyone knows you shit in the morning. But no, I'm serious. Like you know you can die just driving down the street going to get fast food. Or pairing up with someone in class could lead to you two marrying. Or even just smiling at someone could just, like, save their life. It's so strange."

He paused before asking, "Are you satisfied with the choices you've made?"

She had looked at him and smiled. "Yup, couldn't be better."

He now wondered if she regretted going out to protect their "friends", if she regretted eating that popcorn, if she regretted coming to the cabin at all. Was there a decision he could've made that would change this whole outcome? Was there a way they both could've survived this? Or had they been running in circles this entire time? Were they doomed to die this hard death? He wished that butterfly would come back for a moment, but he knew that if it did, it would emerge as a moth with a skull on its wings.

They had chosen the wrong deck of cards, and now it was Connie's turn to pay the price. His only regret was that Sasha couldn't see this beautiful night sky before she closed her eyes.

Reiner's grip tightened and Connie weakly pushed against his bulging forearms. Just put me down, he wanted to say. Let me go and go do whatever the hell you want and hope for the best. But he had no more strength left, physically or emotionally. He was just a rag doll at this point.

He heard the shotgun click in Reiner's other hand.

"I have to save someone, anyone," he muttered under his breath. He pressed Connie's body against his chest, raised the shotgun over his head, and then descended the hill, faster than Connie had tumbled down it.

Berthold hollered out Reiner's name but his pathetic cry was soon drowned out by the ruffling of leaves and Reiner's heavy breathing. He sprinted through the trees and, when the hill was particularly steep, he dropped and slid down. Connie didn't try to hold onto him like how Sasha did—if he flew out of his grasp, then so be it. There were no choices he could make at this point that would change the course of the future. He was already dead; he was just waiting for his soul to be reaped.

As he plummeted deeper into the gloomy shadows of his mind, he could vaguely hear Reiner pant something like, "Don't worry, we'll get you help" or "Stay with me, Con-man. You're gonna be fine."

He choked out a laugh and, along with it, some spittle of blood. "Fucking idiot. You should be worried about saving yourselves at this point."

"Don't say that. You still have a chance. After all, you said you'd see Jean tomorrow."

Horseface will be just fine without me. He'll get it, he'll understand.

Connie closed his eyes, impatient. His body felt like shit: the dull ache in his stomach never ceased, his limbs were knocking into everything without his say so, sweat melted off of him in fat drops, the smell of blood never left his nostrils. God, can't he just get this over with so he wouldn't have to feel so gross anymore? The thought of asking Reiner to take him back to the barn so he could lay beside Sasha flittered across his mind and his chest rose in aspiration, but it quickly deflated.

No, he did have a choice in death that would change his future—he could either die by the girl who'd been with him through thick and thin or die in the cabin, next to Eren. He'd be wasting precious time for Reiner and Berthold and everyone else, however. If he died on the way to the cabin, then Reiner and Bert would have a chance at saving Annie and Mikasa and Armin. Jean and Marco wouldn't be alone in the fight. Connie could still save someone's life, even if it wasn't his.

So, he said nothing and let Reiner think he was doing something good.

His awareness of what happened next was hazy—everything was now black and he didn't try searching for that light anymore. Reiner eventually stopped running and his grip on him was tighter than ever. He could feel himself slipping from his arms, but Reiner tried everything in his physical strength to keep him from falling. He thought he heard Berthold stumble in behind them, either that or a tree fell somewhere in the distance. He was sure he heard a scream, though, and it didn't come from Reiner or Bert. It was sudden yet wasn't long or filled with suffering. It was feminine and muffled.

Great, here it was. Reiner's chance at saving someone's ass. The darkness was suffocating them and would soon be making its way to another poor soul who also let that butterfly slip through their fingers.

Soon enough, his senses slipped from his control and his body now belonged to the worms.