Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, Jackie Chan Adventures, or any Batman properties.

Betaed by: Zim'sMostLoyalServant

A Shadow of The Titans

Created by

Nocturne No Kitsune

Written by

Eduard Kassel

Chapter 13

Joke's on Her (Part 1)

OR

Deadly Improv on Day One

Jinx knew she didn't have long, so she was more abrupt than she would have liked. Hasty, not as well-reasoned as she would want.

And from Blood's smile as he stood behind his desk, she knew she had given him at least one card against her by coming here. Villainous masterminds always manipulate. Whether they were smart type villains or no, in the HIVE curriculum it was that skill at manipulation that defined them as such.

But it was a gamble she had to take against long odds. Because Blue was being thrown to the Joker. Villains were the bogeymen of normal people, the malicious chaos that could enter your life with horrific ease, leaving you utterly helpless. But to villains, the Joker was a bogeyman.

"My dear Jinx," Blood said with a smile.

It was over, Jinx realized, keeping her polite smile in place and holding her face from twitching.

"You show such concern for the HIVE and its resources being used to their utmost. It moves my heart, it truly does."

He walked to stand in front of her, looking down like a proud uncle or something.

"But you are thinking too small. It is true there are any number of villains that could serve as a better mentor to young Zhu Chan. In fact, we did not extend an invitation to Mr. The Joker to begin with. But however he acquired the contract, he did present it. And in the end, the matter of Zhu Chan was a fine fit, as this was aways meant as a punishment. Oh, I do believe you in fact argued for the program to be revived in part for her to be chastised in a way that benefits the HIVE. Did you not? Well, my dear student, you have succeeded at your goal. For if Zhu Chan somehow survives his tutelage and returns with glowing remarks, the HIVE will rise immensely in esteem for producing a student that can weather such treacherous waters. And in the far more likely event of her meeting a horrific and well known end? It will simply be that the Joker was too much, surprising no one and not affecting the HIVE's reputation as such. Save for the student body, present and future. A fine reminder to be passed down of the consequences of mutiny."

He tenderly patted Jinx on the head.

"So you see, my dear Jinx. Whatever happens, everyone who matters, wins."

X X X

Jade generally liked road trips. Planes were good for getting there, but an adventure lover learned to cherish the journey. But the fact a plane would be harder to escape than a van mattered less right now than the length of the trip stretching in front of her.

It was a big, nondescript white van with its load stuffed with cardboard boxes, which from what she could see were labeled with numbers. She sat buckled into the shotgun seat. The Joker had the wheel. At some point, he had ditched the sailor outfit for a trucker style getup, complete with purple cap with the word HA! written on it in green.

He hadn't spoken a word since they had pulled out of the HIVE's garage, just humming to himself on occasion or grumbling about traffic lights or other drivers. She had expected crazy driving, but he seemed perfectly focused and abiding. That and the fact she was not restrained by anything but the seatbelt had her waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"So, I suppose you're wondering why the glorious Joker needs an intern?" he asked out of the blue. Jade swallowed and thought on how best to answer.

"Well, I suppose- AH!" Jade cried out as he suddenly switched two lanes with a screech.

"Trick question. I do not need you for anything. Your part in this operation is mere convenience. And as such, if you become inconvenient, I have no reason to not cut back at a moment's notice. You are only important or essential if I decide you are. Understand?" he said, not looking at her until that last sentence, when his head tilted just slightly, letting one wide eye focus on her.

Jade nodded.

"Okee-dokee then," he chuckled, "Now as for details, I have something in the oven, and pulling it out and serving it up to the good people of Gotham may be a tad difficult on my own. Harley's in Arkham, and I didn't feel like breaking her out. As for minions… well, due to some, let's call it creative differences, I'm fresh out. Then there I was, going through Eddie's mail, and what should I find but a chance to take a leaf out of Bat's book. A chance to pass down the classics of yucking to the younger, wayward tasteless generation of tech-obsessed fart joke laughing noobs.

"There there, you may be hopeless, but stick with me and you could be a star. Or dead. But then, don't stick with me and dead is where you end up anyway. But the important thing to remember is this: I don't provide dental. So BRUSH YOUR TEETH EVERYDAY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Joker laughed as the van roared down the highway.

X X X

The first time Joker stopped for gas, Jade found herself considering bolting again. She wasn't sure the max she could go through the shadows normally. She probably couldn't jump the Atlantic again. But it would be hard to track her.

But she had little doubt he would come after her. And Blood would absolutely be vindictive enough to help. Not to mention it could well be that Blood had given him some magic or other to keep her in line. The headmaster was a bastard like that.

The fact there might be nothing keeping her here, and Joker might shrug off her running, that just made it worse.

He was whistling when he came back to the van, and started up the ignition while taking a drink out of a blue slushy. Less than a minute after they got back on the road, a fireball exploded behind them. Jade just closed her eyes, knowing it was the gas station, while Joker laughed his head off.

X X X

It was an ordeal of endurance after that. The Joker offered her a bottle at one point, for relief he said with a smile. She went in the bushes when he stopped for gas. Cloaked in shadows of course, and rushed back.

Gas was the only stopping that happened. The Joker seemed to be running on no sleep, coffee, and pills, going from incessant pointless chatter to stone silence that had her even more on edge. No motels, no stops at diners. The Joker was cutting from coast to coast as close to nonstop as he could.

Jade really didn't want to fall asleep riding shotgun with him. It kept happening anyway, along with a growling stomach. She was not suicidal; she was not going to eat anything he offered her. Or drink it…

Worst road trip ever. EVER!

She was in no mood or shape to marvel as they finally slid between the gothic noir fangs of the Gotham skyline. The scariest city in America swam before her weary eyes depressingly mundane, then seeming to pop at her like a demented Jack-in-the-Box with some display of wealth, poverty, or callousness. And part of her wondered if she was really seeing anything or her mind was mostly dreaming.

The trip ended when Joker kicked her out of the van. Literally.

"Well, now that you've slipped on the door mat, welcome to Hell. Hope you brought a spare poncho," the Joker said amiably.

Getting to her feet, not really hurt by the fall, Jade took in her surroundings. A warehouse, fairly well maintained-looking too, all the windows she could see intact and the storage covered in tarps. One of the massive lumps was partly uncovered, revealing a merry go round. Of course, she thought dryly.

"Welcome to home base! Good news, room and board here are provided as an employee benefit," the Joker said, twirling on the spot, presenting the place.

"Nice," Jade said, warily.

"Now then, your benevolent boss, which is me, needs to get back up to speed on ol' Gotham. See if anyone has messed with my irons in the fire, or if there any shiny new iron for me to shove into the kiln. So consider the next 24 hours 'me' time to take in the city. Be back though on 24 sharp. And no giving away that you're here — I alone get to choose when to unveil you as my intern," he said, walking off.

Once the Joker was out of sight, and after waiting an extra minute or two just to make sure he was actually gone, Jade breathed deeply and allowed herself to finally relax for the first time in days. Well, not completely — there was no way she was going to be stupid enough to let her guard down completely while she was within a hundred miles of this lunatic, let alone in the same building.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Jade decided that the first thing to do was to scout the surrounding area and work her way out from there. And, she thought as her stomach rumbled, find someplace where she could grab some food.

Spotting an exit, she walked over to it, then stopped some way off, cocking her head. This was a Joker hideout, and that was an exit marked with an illuminated exit sign.

It was a simple push bar to unlatch the door, so she pushed it with the Rooster talisman. The nearest tarp-covered object ripped, and three darts successively struck the door. Jade grit her teeth and pulled her hood up, swinging the door wide with the talisman and swooping over the last few steps with the Rooster.

What greeted her outside was hardly an improvement. The sun was setting on an assemblage of likewise rundown warehouses. She could hear people working nearby, so she supposed unless they were with Joker, the place was just badly maintained rather than deserted. It occurred to her this whole place might be dirty, and not as in unswept.

Jade looked up and considered getting some elevation, but it was really hitting her just how tired she was. She could lay down on the pavement and sleep! Food or no food.

Frowning, she decided it was time to stop putting something off, and stepped into and through the shadow cast by the warehouse, into the Shadow Realm.

X X X

His footing was steady enough, but his vision was halved and swimming. Pausing on the stairs, he leaned heavier on the wall, one hand planted against painted concrete. He tried to focus on breathing, or his heartbeat. Some cool or badass thing that would clear his head. In the end, all he could do was spit up… something, and wait until the world righted itself enough that he dared take another step.

This was his third attempt, he thought. The second time, at least, he hadn't fallen all the way back down.

Time was wasting, he couldn't dilly dally!

As he ascended, his hand slipped into a groove. He'd frown if he could, puzzled. Just turning to let his good eye see it was a pain. But there it was, a gouge shallow but carved into the concrete, making a pale gash against the light blue paint.

Looking back up confirmed it now, his sight focusing. The doorway, almost there. And more gouges on the walls and in the stairs and ceiling too.

Not good, not good at all, he thought. Stepping off the stairs into the den, he had no rush of satisfaction at his escape. The room was a mess, like a hurricane with chainsaws had come through it. The door to the basement was on the floor, torn from its place and torn in two by the same impact.

Not everything was in shambles. Three pictures, the glass cracked by the hurricane but now set upright, and arranged on a credenza that had also been righted. Letting himself go to one knee, he stared at the photo of the adorable blonde girl with blue eyes, and the lovely teenager she had become.

"Kitten! You need to calm down! Please, daddy needs to make sure your form is stable post-stasis!" Killer Moth called out to the house.

The worst thing answered him, silence. She did not believe in the silent treatment — she would weep, insult, heckle, or even scream she couldn't hear him. His daughter would answer him if she heard.

But she wasn't here.

Seeing the mantle clock still ticking from where it lay in the corner, he saw that either several hours had passed, or more than a day. The window wasn't broken, so she had not just rushed out. Good, that was good. Maybe the worst of it had passed here in this room?

Probably not, he admitted.

There might be clues then, where she was going, because she had time and speed on him. He'd have to find where she was going and get there first. And calm her, he thought, putting a hand back to the torn-up half of his head.

Muttering about the typicalness of the situation, he made his way back to the stairs he had been struggling against. He couldn't hope to fly like this, much less get in the head of a teenage girl like Sherlock stupid Holmes. Back to the lab, fix himself up. Then, find Kitten. Then calm Kitten down. Then they could find and deal with whoever had tried to murder her.

The trip down was quicker, as he missed his footing on the first step and careened the rest of the way down. His attempt to curse, splayed at the bottom, came as a gurgle, but still he levered himself up and made his way to the fist aid station.

'No time to waste, no time to waste,' the D-list villain recited the mantra in his ravaged head, willing a steadiness into his hands as he set to work.

X X X

The thick atmosphere embraced Jade as she arrived, the oily blanket of shadow engulfing her as she watched her blue hands get covered in black. Then through her clothes, through her; she could feel its gentle embrace. For a moment she wondered why she had avoided it since reawakening.

The answer snapped her back from simply enjoying the sensation. The answer being that last time she was here, not only had she been an animal shadow of herself, but Big Red had reached out to her. But she needed it now, and she was sure even if he could come here, he needed a bargain to do anything to her.

Besides, to be honest she had bigger problems that came in green and white packages right now.

She pressed a button on her wristwatch and was pleased it lit up to be seen through the shadows. With a few twists of the dial, she set it to shock her awake in eight hours. Blowing a third of her grace period on sleep was not something she would normally do, but these were trying times, to borrow a phrase. Sleep plus this realm's rejuvenation would hopefully make up for that road trip insomnia and stress. Because the Joker might not let her sleep again for days for all she knew, and she needed to be sharp.

That door trap. It wasn't intended to kill her; she was sure that was just standard Joker habits. She needed to be at her best to survive villainy's worst.

Kicking off her shoes, she carried them with her to a glade of shadow trees, plucking a lone hanging fruit as she passed. It had a tart taste with a bit of oily tarnish flavor from the film. The pit was hard like a bit of steel and gave an icy refreshing taste as she crunched it. So one fruit quickly became a cradled bundle, recalling vaguely that she had eaten this and other stuff last time.

Slumped against a tree with a full stomach, Jade drifted off to sleep thoughtlessly pulling shadows deeper around her until her form was swallowed. To anyone looking, the trees trunk was just thicker than its peers, no sign of anything amiss among the shadows.

"Well, this is quite the mess, isn't it?" the Queen said. Jade scrunched her eyes shut and twisted to face away from the voice next to her, the shadows pooling around her twisting along. In response, the Queen poked her in the back of the head gently.

"Hey, we need to talk. Not the cryptic stuff either, this is serious crap we are in right now," The Queen insisted, poking the same spot repeatedly.

"Go away, I'm trying to sleep," Jade groaned.

"You are asleep, dummy. You're dreaming about sleeping or something," the Queen said, still poking Jade.

"Longest worst day… days, ever. Go. Away," Jade said, gritting her teeth.

"We. Could. Die. When. Next. We. Go. To. Work!" the Queen growled, punctuating each word with a poke.

"FINE!" Jade snapped, bolting to her feet. The shadows shredded away, leaving Jade standing in a void of burned red broken by veins of flowing shimmering black.

Straightening up her HIVE outfit, Jade glared as the Queen, a shadow save for her head, twisted around to face her. Jade frowned at the tail that connected to her feet. Unpleasant reminders, she noted.

"Finally, now can we at least be civil to ourselves and deal with the problem?" Queen sighed, crossing her shadow arms and shaking her head like an irritated big sister.

"I was going to think that over after getting refreshed by sleep," Jade grumbled.

"Usually a good idea. If what we read and I remember is right, this will give some mental fatigue but your physical body will be nice and rested, especially here. Great to see you making better use of this realm, too. We should take it as our primary residence, you know," Queen said.

"No, who knows what side effects would come of that. Besides, it makes my head loopy."

"I'd say it could be awesome side effects and you are far more fun when loopy," Queen pouted.

"…So, the Joker," Jade huffed.

"Yep," Queen grimaced.

"So, any ideas on getting out of this?"

"You do remember I am you, right?"

"And yet you act like you're so much smarter."

"Well if you were stuck in the backseat without a Game Guy or even a lousy crossword puzzle, maybe you'd be forced to think things through too!"

"And we're getting off subject. Subject being mass-murdering clown we have to get coffee for or something!"

"Maybe we should kill him?" the Queen asked.

"…What?" Jade said.

"Hey, I'm just saying, super poison that coffee or use the Rooster at a dramatic moment to get him pasted by a train or something. We might actually get a medal, maybe one from heroes and another from villains. Ohh, probably snag an A too! Blood would probably consider murdering your mentor a valid villain act," the Queen practically squeed.

Jade facepalmed.

"If killing the Joker was that easy, someone would have done it already. He'd just survive, and we'd be that guest villain who seems to have gotten away with it until the last scene before the credits when it turns out Joker is the cab driver implying our, no, MY demise. So yeah, no killing the clown. Besides, murder bad, yada yada…"

"Okay then, if murder isn't the solution to our problem, what is?"

"We get him caught!" Jade said, smacking her fist into her palm, "Yeaaah, we get him arrested without implicating ourselves. Gets him out of our hair, and if he breaks out before the internship is over he's not angry at us for revenge or anything."

"Hmm, that is less of a plan and more an idea. Besides, that would mean him getting caught by Batman while we aren't. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if Batman could follow us here somehow," the Queen said.

"Well, sabotage is the best we got. For short-term, we focus on not dying."

"That is a good short-term plan," the Queen snarked.

"But also we, no 'I', need to think longer. Heroes aren't an option for defection now, and Blood wants me dead, basically. No more fooling around; I need to get out of this horrible spandex-clad dimension, universe, place. …I think that mental fatigue is kicking in," Jade remarked, as the Queen leaned an elbow on her shoulder.

"Hmm, you know, when Big Red infused me I got a bit of knowledge there. And kept a hold of it. Granted, a lot of it's not useful, unless you're interested in classical Japanese drinking songs and who actually should have won that one sumo tournament in Heian Kuo during the reign of Go Hirakawa. The one with the great food," the Queen said.

"Anything about traveling dimensions?"

"…Kind of?"

"I'll take kind of. Though now I'm worried I have his best of Hannya list buried in my head somewhere."

"Well, anyway, meditation should help you sort through it. Just be sure to keep magic on the mind; don't want Red's laundry day on our mind."

"…This has been weird, let's not do this again while suffering sleep deprivation, okay?"

"Right. Just remember, murder is an option."

"No," Jade snapped, imagining a door and storming through it. On the other side she slammed it shut, the Queen blinking as she was still there, leaning on Jade's shoulder, attached to her feet.

"We really are sleep deprived," the Queen said, blinking.

"You're so smart, you end thi-" Jade threatened, before the dream ended at a snap of the Queen's fingers.

When her watch started stinging her, it felt like no time had passed at all to Jade. There was of course the urge to just turn it off and draw the shadows closer, but she pushed past it and, without bothering to disperse the shadows pressing on her, pulled herself back into the mortal realm.

As usual, after the soothing warmth of the Shadow Realm, the normal world hit her like stepping outside into brisk weather. A bit unpleasant, but thankfully sobering.

She was near to where she had left, and checking the watch confirmed time had passed as planned, not more or less. So here she was, well rested and fed, with Gotham City bare before her.

'Now what?' she wondered.

She looked around. Having no real idea what to check out, she browsed the tourist cliches. The famous Wayne Tower dominating the skyline. The Grand Gotham Mall, in which she spotted the little signs showing there was far more for sale here than Joe and Jane Public were seeing. She marked it down for a further look later.

The Tricorner Bridge. Gotham General. The historic Gotham Central. She even took a distant look at stately Wayne Manor.

The infamous Iceberg Lounge, whose very infamy insured its prosperity, she was told. The well-to-do frequented it as a thrill, knowing that they may be mere yards from the worst of the Rogues, maybe even able to catch a glimpse of shady business, and all with luxury. Jade found the idea put her in mind of Blood. Yeah, she could see that guys dressed up to the nines and mingling there.

Infamous Crime Alley, not impressed.

And so it went. And one fact was undeniable — Gotham was very different from Jump.

Jump was, as a city, brighter and more lively. Like some young guy fresh out of college eager to ride the trends and make their mark. Gotham was not old-fashioned as such, but it was more like a wily middle-aged. There was curiosity, but more wariness and wry amusement, she would say. Gotham, for good or ill, knew who it was, and had an assurance that whatever marks it carried or were coming it would endure and wave as the times passed like so many before.

And the shadows… Jade wasn't sure if it was a sense or just a dramatic feeling. Jump was so bright, like its heroes; the darkness was under veneer, under boot even. For all that it slipped, there was a line where shadows had to abide till they rose. But Gotham was laced with it. That feeling, a bit like the HIVE, not just that the shoe would drop but that one had already hit the floor.

This was the place that people compared to when they said it wasn't "that bad". Where people lay in bed, knowing the Rogues were out there, that any minute anywhere disaster could strike. She could tell the locals from the tourists and visitors — one group thrilled or wary, the other either beaten down or casually defiant.

Jump defied the darkness by pushing it back, time and again. Gotham, it seemed, more like it was a roommate you refused to let run you out on the lease however much they annoyed you.

It was a terrifying and thrilling sensation.

And Jade wasn't even among them, moving through shadows and alleys. Part of her, she admitted, wanted to see what would happen if she just took a few steps and joined the crowd. Was this a city where no one would blink twice?

No, she decided. She was giving it too much credit. And her time was running low.

Still she felt… a presence, something at the edge or her sight and hearing.

Of course, whether it was good or bad, she may not want to tangle with it, she admitted.

X X X

It wasn't hard to find her way back. Not because the Joker smelled like death to her or anything, she just had made sure to keep track.

Reaching the unassuming warehouse, she came to the spot with the exit-marked door she had left from last time, and paused. Turning, she walked, deciding it might be good to circle the building. Details for later use if she needed to escape the Joker, Batman, or even the police. Magic was best for that, but it would be just her luck for something to come up blocking it.

She wasn't bothering to hide herself in shadows now; with gloves on and her hood up, she was only puling shadows in to conceal her face and suppress her eye shine, a new trick she had worked up. If someone really looked, they might be freaked out by a black void, but most she expected would just look past not seeing her face and not thinking twice.

She had not completed her circuit when she stopped, confronted with another door. The beat up exterior sign clicked on as he sun set, proclaiming the door, ENTRANCE. Deciding just now she wasn't worried about people watching, she held out a hand and Roostered the door handle, pushing it open. She found herself looking into a kitchen, and it was in use.

The Joker was singing.

"Oh, when the moon hits your eye lika'-" Jade cringed at the cliche as she entered the kitchen. Pots were bubbling, and steam was rising from several. The Joker's voice was a bit muffled, and she saw while he was dressed like a chef, he was wearing purple gas mask. Jade put a hand over her mouth and nose, drawing shadows tight over them. The door slammed shut behind her before she could consider that.

The Joker turned from stirring and acknowledged her presence.

"Oh, look who finally decided to show up! You'd think you were in a union the way you vanish on the job," he snapped, "Can you cook?"

"Well, I-"

"Never mind, this isn't intern work, and we have a schedule to keep. You'll be doing some offsite work; time to earn your upkeep and all that. I need to watch the soup, so you'll be flying solo without water wings."

Jade smiled, happy to know he couldn't see her face, and that she was not going to have to work that much with him yet.

"Yessir, what's the assignment?"

"Break Harley out of Arkham. And don't get seen while doing it. You're going to be a spanner to Bats; he has thing about me and kids."

"Arkham?" Jade slipped.

"That's the one. Can't miss it. Though that's not completely true — there are times I long for that isle of peace in this world of aggression. Oh, woe for the halcyon days of incarceration!"

"But Harley Quinn, you said-"

"Are you saying I can't change my mind? Or perhaps you can't do the job I need? In that case, why should I keep you around in the first place?" Joker asked, pulling a long thin knife out of a drawer.

"…Do you have any floor plans or the like?" Jade sighed. The grin reached his eyes to be seen through the mask.

"Not as such, but idid already give you a call ahead," the Joker said.

"An inside contact?"

"No, I used the ol' broadcast interrupter thingamabob to let everyone know Harley will be getting jailbroken soon. So you should have all the high alerts and cops you could ask for waiting. And ol' Bats might be lurking about too. Any other help you want?" the Clown Prince asked Jade as her mouth hung open.

X X X

Arkham was not a place you just walked up to. It was outside the city proper, on the mainland. The area was called the Heights, a set of steep hills with rocky protrusions and such that had discouraged development, she understood. She supposed people had lived there regardless, but sometime or other, as the city grew, the rich had gobbled up the area. Evicting the former owners, probably legally, they had built their estates with close proximity to the city but with the woods and hills buffering them against potential sprawl as Gotham crept from the shore, having outgrown the islands.

And the one nearest to the city, the house of a family named Arkham.

The story went, at least in villain lore, that back in the turn of the last century Dr. Arkham, the last patriarch of the family, was a cutting edge shrink. All into the science of shock therapy, water torture, that stuff. He even outraged his fellow elites by turning his family's massive mansion into a loony bin for his studies. But he mixed work and home too well. A psycho slipped the chain and invaded Arkham's suite, murdering his wife and daughter. Supposedly, the doctor found the maniac playing house with his girl's head as a toy.

After that, Arkham went into the occult. Kept adding to the asylum building, tearing stuff down and rebuilding it in some alchemy. To cure the insane or to torment them, the story varied. In the end, Arkham himself ended up committed to it, supposedly for crimes against his patients that high society covered up to prevent public panic.

This was Arkham Asylum, the heart of the darkness in Gotham if there ever was one. Paradoxically the prison but also sanctuary of sorts for the Rogues, the monsters that haunted this city.

And Jade was being sent there. Pouting, she took another bite of her hot dog, sitting on the curb, letting pedestrians pass her by.

X X X

Glenn was wishing his shift would just end already.

Being a security guard for Arkham was one of the worst jobs in Gotham, in his opinion. Unless you were working cafeteria or an orderly — then you had to interact with the freaks without a nightstick's assuring weight at your belt. The liberals hated how much hardware they had for dealing with "patients". What did those dumb hippies even know, Glenn wondered? This wasn't a hospital, after all. This was a bit of Hell on Earth where the cops and Batman locked up the monsters.

Arkham was always hiring because so many employees got killed, maimed, or decided the very generous compensation package just wasn't worth it. Most people weren't like Mr. Cash, after all. Man got his freaking hand bitten off and he went and got a hook like a freaking pirate and went back to keeping the nightmares in line.

Glenn was not that kind of man. He was strictly aiming to beat the average term of employment by a year or so. Then he would quit and have a nice padding off to his savings and a resume that would make him look badass to any employer by getting through that long at Arkham with his sanity and body intact.

Assuming he didn't horribly die first, of course.

"But hey, it's Gotham, ain't it?" he said to no one in particular, shifting around in his swivel chair.

He'd gotten a good assignment. Most people weren't smart enough to see that. This box with door controls made him practically Cerberus cordoning off the criminally insane parts of Arkham from the Rogue Ward. There was more security measures here to keep a lid on things than anywhere besides the individual cells for S-Class patients, and the main gate. And so many of those controls were closed circuit or mechanical to this box. So it was designed with low and high tech to keep this box and the bug guy in this chair safe.

Yeah, it was a target. But the thing is, any nutso trying to break in or out used other ways or waited until they were past his post to try anything.

Putting his feet up, Glenn popped a chocolate coated mint into his mouth and appreciated that he was one of the few to realize this post men had quit to avoid made him the safest man in Arkham Asylum.

Checking the computer and line of sight visuals and scans, he confirmed the food dolly was what it should be. The Physical Facilities woman showing him every cabinet and uncovering every dish for him. He gave her a thumbs up, and what he thought was an encouraging smile as the door slid open at his command, and she walked into the Freakshow.

He never noticed the shadow under the dolly was darker than it should be. No more than it ever crossed his mind that someone would decide the obvious approach might be crazy enough to work. Glenn just went back to his mints, unaware his superiors had not informed him of the silent red mode they were in.

X X X

Jade had guessed the ward would not be secure against her brand of magic. And it seemed she was right. Also, with the Joker's little announcement, it was likely they were expecting something sneaky. Not someone coming in through the main entry.

It was odd. She had kind of expected this to be like a spy move or heist movie. It was Arkham, after all. But aside from the menacing architecture, so far it was less intimidating than the prison back in Jump.

Currently the fact she was unable to see much beyond the rims of the dolly might have had something to do with it.

A few minutes later, the view did change somewhat, as the plexiglass wall of a high security cell came into view. Getting her first glimpse at how one of the infamous Rogues of Gotham was restrained, Jade found herself reevaluating her opinion of the place. The man in the cell — who, judging by the maniac look in his eyes and the number of tally-mark scars covering all his visible skin must be the infamous Victor Zsasz — was strapped spread eagle against the back wall of the cell, shackles on his wrists and ankles and straps across his forehead and neck keeping him pinned in place. Despite this, the two armed guards flanking the cell kept a more-than-safe distance from him as they opened the cell and walked in, keeping their assault rifles trained on him the whole time.

Watching this, and the nurse lady using a ladle to feed him so that she could stay just as far away, Jade had to admit that they did seem to be taking security more seriously than their reputation for escapes would suggest. And this guy was, by all accounts, second-tier at best when it came to Batman's enemies. What was she going to be looking at when it came to his archenemy's sidekick?

For the next stop, the guard had put on a gas mask, shielding their eyes as well as their nose and mouth, before sending a tray through a drawer that kept the prisoner from open air. The prisoner being a very pretty woman whose unflattering inmate uniform could not disguise her legendary looks. Light green skin, red hair; the seductive ecoterrorist Poison Ivy. People tended to focus on her looks and cause and forgot she had one of the highest kill counts and a laid back attitude to mind control.

A lanky man with untidy dirty blonde hair was next. He watched the guards the whole time, contempt etched in his face. Only when addressed as Crane when they moved on revealed this man was the Scarecrow. The fact he looked so normal was unnerving in its own way.

And so it went. The most notable event, aside from the inmates themselves, was a brief debate on the meal, with Scarface upset at having the same slop as his "dummy".

"If you gotta serve me crap, at least make it different crap from his! Bad enough I gotta share a cell! At least crappy high schools let you have something."

"Like you went to high school, shorty," the guard pushing the cart muttered, earning him a sharp look from his superior.

The puppet looked at the man, and Jade could swear she felt a real gaze sweep past her. It must have been the Ventriloquist's eyes.

"Just for that, I'm remembering your face," Scarface threatened.

They moved on, the senior guard promising a stern talking to when they were out of the wing.

Only one meal left to deliver, finally. And there it was.

The cell of Harley Quinn was underwhelming. A normal cell, only adorned by kiddy drawings of smiley faces and clowns. No, a clown, Jade corrected.

The woman herself sat on the floor, with her left leg flung out while the other was tucked close. Her expression of deep boredom did not disguise how young she looked. With her career, Jade would have assumed her to be in her thirties or something, but she could pass for someone fresh in college, Jade thought. The blonde, with her hair done up in two tails with a round cute face and expressive blue eyes, hardly looked like a criminal who, despite being a minion, technically had a higher carnage count than most villains.

And that leg, stretched out, was clapped in an iron. Or rather a steel manacle, that was polished and shiny-looking, connected to a chain that was bolted into the wall. Jade had a feeling that was new. Just like the half a dozen cops clad in blue inside the cell were probably special occasion, and the fat man wearing a fedora and brown jacket sitting on Harley's bed.

"Dinner time, fangirl," the worker said, as he opened the door.

"What, nothing for the working men?" the fat guy snarked.

"You could sand to miss some meals, Bullcrap."

"Ahhh! Asylum rations, my favorite, just like grandma used to make," Harley cheered. Jade couldn't tell if it was a joke or not, as the clown girl dug in.

Jade ditched the cart as it passed into another shadow, and leaned against the wall, looking back at the cell. Had it been a mistake not to slip in with the meal? No, she would potentially be trapped in there. If worse came to worse, it was better to run for it, from the law and Joker. Ending up arrested wasn't an option.

An Arkham breakout… it really was hitting her how different this was from the prison break. Man, that felt like it was ages ago. Time flies when you're pretending to be a villain, Jade thought.

But anyway, the cops weren't a big worry. She was pretty sure she could remove them from her path. But not before they could raise an alarm. The chain was trouble, though. If she had Pig power or even the Dragon, it would be one thing. Easy even. But Rooster, hmm…

Yes, she concluded, that was an idea. But not a great one.

And she still needed to get at least most of the cops out. And she just knew Batman had to be hiding somewhere, ready to pop out, like from a toilet in her worst nightmares. So, it needed to not jut distract the lawful mooks, but Batman?

Well, once upon a time, Cinderblock was used as a distraction. Arkham wasn't short on crazies, but who and could she let them out?

Zsasz would draw notice, and testing her Rooster powers on his bonds would be useful. But no, he was not something she wanted to risk unleashing. His eyes held death, more than most of the murderers she'd met. Scarface? Nah, he was dangerous by being a gangster, let him out and its just a nut and his stooge on the loose. They might all stay put for that. Scarecrow? Harmless without his chemicals. Two-Face? Not in custody, right. Arkham was a bit sparse on Rogues, as she recalled at the moment. Ivy?

Then she had a thought.

Opening a cell wouldn't be easy, but was it needed? Other than Harley Quinn's, of course. What she really needed was a distraction, period. And she knew where she could get one.

X X X

Jade carefully made her way back, back to the entry to the Rogue Ward where the overweight guard sat in his box with all the buttons snd switches. Jade reached a hand out in the shadows and moved his coffee slightly; the guy didn't notice, watching a small TV. So, if she could do that, she could mess with the controls.

Jade frowned and slumped a bit against the booth, shadows pulled tight.

Joker really was a jerk. A big job like this with no time to plan ahead or support. And him phoning in the job was going to happen?

If she did this, she might set loose real monsters on the city. This wasn't Jump; the people here hadn't scorned her yet. And, well…

'Ah frack, Jade. Don't kid yourself — you've been working with monsters this whole time. You busted out Machete and worked with Gadjo. You work for Blood. Don't go getting cold feet because it's more famous monsters,' she chastised herself. She had given up on the so-called heroes being an option, so she couldn't burn her bridges with villains to survive. Survive, get home, and leave everything that happened to her in another dimension where it belonged.

Besides, Batman was here surely, so other than her and Harley Quinn escaping, the situation would not get too out of control. Right?

X X X

Glenn had three mints left. On the one hand, he'd like one now, but you couldn't just eat these one at a time, to his mind. So if he ate more he'd have none left, and he'd forgotten to bring a proper restock for his station today.

So, satisfaction now vs nothing else to snack on for the rest of his shift. Contemplating his candy, Glenn did not notice one lever after another move on his boards. Only slightly, as if someone were testing their resistance. Afterwards, several buttons also slightly depressed, without being properly pushed. And two keys in their slots moved ever so slightly.

Frowning, Glenn looked up from his candy and leaned forward in his chair, looking around the anteroom space leading up to his gate. Getting up, he even turned to look into the Rogue Ward as best he could through the extra reinforced plexiglass.

"Come on, Glenn, don't go letting Arkham spook ya. First sign of a tailspin," he chastised himself, picking up his mint box, shaking a mint into his palm and popping it into his mouth.

The plastic lid over a big red button flipped, making a click on the control board.

"Huh, when did you-?"

The button slammed down, its surface cracking, and red lights and a siren started to blare. Glenn cursed, and watched in horror as seemingly everything on his board started to engage, sending a steel curtain down between him and the wider asylum, and setting off sprinklers.

"Calamity Protocol," he recalled, imagining all cells below A-Threat in the wing swinging open.

"What, how?! It wasn't me!" Glenn screamed, frantically looking over the panels, trying to recall any procedure as his landline started to ring.

X X X

"What the heck is this?!" Detective Bullock demanded, halfway out of Harley Quinn's opened cell door as the sprinklers went off, but the soggy inmates continued to run amok. Inmates were running around with orderlies and guards scrambling and yelling. As Bullock watched, a dark-skinned orderly grabbed up the Ventriloquist in a bear hug, and knocked the Scarface puppet from his grasp.

"Institutional brutality! My lawyer will have your job, ya mook!" the puppet seemed to yell from the soaking floor.

"Oh enough already," the orderly snapped, kicking the puppet away as he turned and carried the wailing Ventriloquist off.

"Calamity Protocol," a gravely voice said. Bullock repressed a snarl as he turned to see the Batman standing there in the hallway, "In the event of a fire or other imminent disaster, Arkham has a duty to consider the rights and lives of the inmates. This protocol opens the doors for all the inmates in this ward save those who are considered living deadly weapons, under the presumption those will receive assisted evacuation and that they're being turned loose would endanger the other evacuees and inhibit lives being saved."

"And no one thought some hacker would use that?" Bullock demanded.

"It shouldn't he hackable — it's landlined and a closed circuit that can only be triggered from three locations that are considered secure."

"Well, not secure enough," Bullock grumbled, looking around at the chaos.

"Heeeehh, of course Mistuh J's opening number is meant to impress. Here I am, Puddin', come and ride your Harley right outta town, vroom vroom!" Quinn cheered from her spot chained on the floor.

"The clown's trying to distract us. I hate to let any of these crazies have a shot, but seems the white coats and guards have things under control," Bullock said, stepping back into the cell and trying to lock it. It didn't work.

"The locks won't…" Batman trailed off, putting a finger to where his right ear would be under his cowl.

"What?" Bullock demanded.

"Croc's out."

"How does he not qualify as living weapon!?" Bullock demanded, as a bestial roar sounded nearby, followed by screams.

"He does. Seems he knocked his door down when he saw a good opportunity."

"He's working with the clown?" Bullock speculated, but turning to look saw that the vigilante was gone.

"Oh sure, why not?" Bullock said, shaking water drops off his hat.

"Bullock, any sign on your end?" a woman's voice came through his walkie-talkie.

"Aside from the panic and nuts running around? No. Anything out there, Montoya?"

"Negative, all the noise is coming from inside. You need backup?"

"Stay there and stay frosty for now. The clown's trying to get us off our mark, I'm not playing his gameEHHHH!" Bullock cried out as he was lifted into the air.

"Harvey! What's going on? Is it Joker?!" Montoya called out through the communicator.

"What is this!?" Bullock shouted, before the door flew open and he and his men were thrown out of it, across the hall, and vanished into a shadow.

"Wooee, there's something you don't see everyday!" Harley said. She watched as her chain rattled, straining against the wall.

"Okay then!" the unconstumed jester grinned, grabbing the chain and lending the unseen force a hand, planting a foot on the wall.

"Woohoo!" she jumped, cheering as the chain came clear.

"Get over here," a voice called from the shadow Bullock and the others vanished into.

"Hey, you're not Puddin!" Harley exclaimed, panting from the exertion but picking up the chain and starting to swing it idly by her side.

"Well he sent me, and that stunt wasn't easy. So get over here or I'll drag ya."

"Hmm. Well, what's trusting a mysterious voice from cop eating darkness to a girl like me?" Quinn asked, before skipping and whistling across the hallway and vanishing into the dark.

X X X

"Oh, Mistuh J, I knew you wouldn't leave me in the impound lot!" Harley said, glomping Joker. Jade stood to the side in the seeming break room of the warehouse, where Joker was relaxing on the couch while Harley glomped and then sprawled on him.

"Well, momma always said to pick up my toys," Joker teased, tugging one of the blonde's cheeks. Harley just laughed, seemingly finding no insult in the metaphor.

"Well, good job kid. You just might be worth your pay after all."

"You're paying me?" Jade remarked flatly.

"Anyway, once you ladies have had a chance to get your beauty rest and freshen up, it'll be time to sit down and hammer out my latest project. Speaking of which, I wish I'd had you spring Johnny Boy, we seem to be falling into a time crunch, and a worthy chemist of reliably immoral nature is hard to find this time of year."

"We'll need to bunk the kid far away, Mistuh J, I've got a lot of time to make up for," Harlrey said with lidded eyes rubbing her cheek against the Joker's chest.

"No need, I'll cover my sleeping arrangements. Just tell me when to check back in," Jade broke in.

"Ah, good, some go-getter mentality, not just trying to live off Mr. Joker's generosity. Maybe there's hope for the next generation, Harley!"

"But boss, I thought you wanted them to fail and die horribly?" Harley pointed out.

"Oh, right. Oh well, they can still do that with a go-getter attitude. HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Joker cackled, while Jade hoped no one died with everything that happened in Arkham. Surviving her first Joker assignment wasn't making her feel very proud of herself.

X X X

Mammoth stood back-to-back with Jinx in the dark docklands. Gizmo was ranting near them, the crane he had been smashed into buckled inward at the impact.

Jinx's eyes darted around the darkness, hex bolts charged in her hand.

"Okay, Jinx, we're all villains here. Vendettas are part of the game. And as a team we get dragged into them, all part of the package, right?" Mammoth snapped. Jinx nodded, scowling. "But I think I have some right to know why we are getting our asses kicked."

"Can't help you. Never seen this one before," Jinx answered.

They both froze; it had just gotten quieter. That faint sound cut out. They knew what that meant.

"You sure?" Mammoth pressed, game face on.

"Could I forget this?" Jinx snapped.

Shortly:

Jinx spat blood on the pavement, pushing herself up. Shaking her head, she spotted Mammoth laid out but breathing. Her head was throbbing, and she was pretty sure something was broken in her, possibly a rib or two. Her right eye was swollen shut.

'No way. Who is is she?' Jinx wondered, gritting her teeth.

Jinx whipped her head around in time to spot the assailant as her right hand was grabbed. Her battle cry was cut short as the attacker pulled her arm taut and brought an elbow down on it like a hammer.

"Bitch!" Jinx managed to yell. Her good foot was caught, and a punch slammed into her stomach. Bending over, Jinx blinked the dots away as her hand was pried open and her index finger grabbed.

"Where is the blue bitch?" the attacker demanded.

"Fuck off!" Jinx spat.

CRACK

"Same question."

"Go and-" *CRACK*

Jinx went to her knees and, vision swimming, spat on the shoes of her opponent. At least, she thought those might be shoes?

"Gotham," Gizmo spoke up. Jinx blinked, taking a moment to realize who said it.

"Gizmo!" she snapped.

"What? Let magical girl blue clean up her own messes. I'd have told you from the start, lady," Gizmo said, dusting himself off as he stood up.

Jinx was pushed over onto the ground as attention fell on Gizmo.

"Where in Gotham?"

"Don't know. But she's been rented out to the Joker, so odds are great he's in Gotham and she's there. But she might, you know, be dead or worse already," Gizmo pointed out, eyeing the stranger warily.

"She'd better be alive. He can't kill her, that's for me to do. That ugly little ninja brat owes me too much to not get payback. And if I find you lied to me, little man, I'll be back."

Wings unfolding, the attacker walked away, and Jinx stood up.

"Hey! Think you can just leave! A villain ought to give their name!"

"…You know who I am."

"No, no I don't! I have never met you, bug girl!"

"…Bug. You must need your eyes checked," the attacker turned around and walked over to Jinx, who fired off a hex bolt that tore through the air. Her snarl turned to a grimace as the foe took to the air with one flap. And, evading the shot, landed right in font of her and grabbed her hair.

"I think you need an eye exam. Allow MEEEE!" the attacker screamed in her face, jaw splitting. Pain blossomed in Jinx's good eye, and she felt herself falling, trying to blink away the blackness. She didn't feel herself hit the ground. But she did hear the mutterings of the attacker.

So she was puzzled, in her battered state as she slipped from consciousness, why the other villain was whispering for a kitten.

Author's Note: Well now we are truly into Gotham. With Jade being tossed right into the deep end. She got off easy here I'd say, being something unexpected, but that won't last and the Scariest City in America will not be easily put on the ropes by a rookie.

This chapter has been vexing, as have my other ongoing projects. That combined with sleep issues, and feeling down, means I have probably to no ones surprise been working on new stories. Writing is a 'feel good' activity for me, so even logistically dubious story work helps out I find.

But on a break at work I had a major breakthrough on my plans for the Gotham arc, which is why you have got this chapter now. And hopefully will get the next one sooner. On a larger scale times like this give me hope on the various blocks breaking, letting these stories I want to tell continue; for you the audience to enjoy.

If you celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas and I hope this made for a nice addition to your day. If you don't, I hope you are having a good December and this added a little enjoyment to your day.

Thanks for reading, hope you liked it, and until next time long days and pleasant nights to you all.