It had seemed like hours that he had been sat in the silent room and Hanson's thoughts were starting to wander to places he really didn't want to go, to the room down the hallway where Harry lay almost lifeless and the long road that stretched out when he looked across at his sleeping friend. He wanted desperately to talk to Doug, explain everything that had happened and the decisions he had made, that he still thought for the best, but that would mean having to explain the last few days, what had happened and what that meant. Just at this moment, he didn't think he could do that, and it was comforting to think that back up was waiting in the corridor. He hadn't been back in the room, but occasionally Tom could see the dark figure of his old senior officer pacing back and forth outside the door. He had watched through the door as Fuller had intercepted Dorothy upon her return, smiling to himself. It took a brave man to tell Dorothy Pezzino what she could not do. He had tried to imagine to himself what Doug's reaction to this would have been, but it hurt to find that he could no longer hear the voice of his friend the way he used to.

He got out of the chair and walked quietly over to the bed where his friend lay sleeping, looking down at the familiar face. Unlike Harry, Penhall was not pale, in fact he seemed red and feverish, the fair curls of his hair plastered to his forehead. He studied him as he walked slowly around the bed. The face was still quite chubby, but the round soft childishness of the features had gone and there were the beginnings of the faintest of lines around his eyes. Smile lines he guessed Doug would call them he thought smiling slightly. It seemed his partner had gone and grown up while his back was turned. He started to wonder how the last couple of years had changed his former partner, what he was like now and what had happened to him while he had been hiding away, apart from the obvious. In fact, apart from the accident, the lives of all his former colleagues over the last two years were a complete mystery to him. Even the details of the last couple of days were sketchy, he hadn't really thought to ask. What happened hadn't seemed as important as what was going to happen. He suddenly started to miss them immensely, more than he had the whole time he had been away. Silly really, as Doug was in the room with him and Fuller was just outside, but the years between them made the people he loved seem so very far away.

Letting out a deep sigh he let his eyes wander around the room hoping to find something to distract him from his thoughts. He hadn't been on the best of terms with his thoughts for quite some time now but they had come to an understanding and had started to be civil to one another but at that moment he wanted them to leave him alone. His eyes fell on a photo that had been placed by Doug's bed and a half smile spread over his face. A smiling Clavo looked out at him, his arms draped around a grinning Doug and Dorothy. So, Doug has his little family, finally. Looking at the picture they seemed to belong together, like the three of them fit. He suddenly started to wonder how long Dorothy would be around for this time. Doug had told him once that it never lasted more than six months at a time. Well, this time would be harder, and Doug would need her more than he ever had before.

"You've got a beautiful family there Doug. Don't screw it up" he told the sleeping figure laying blissfully unaware.

He sat heavily on the bench by the window, absently picking up a magazine without any real intention of reading it, noting the coming and going of several doctors or nurses, smiling vacantly at them as they entered and left, their hustle and bustle making the room seem even quieter when they left. So, he found himself in the familiar position of sitting and watching the world carried around him when it felt as if it should stop, if only for a while.

Doug Penhall began to be aware of the noises and movement around him as his senses began to fight against the sedation, slowly finding their way back towards the waking world. As his eyes opened, he saw a figure sat in the chair by the bed. He could make out a head covered in scruffy dark hair, high cheekbones and a straight, slightly pointed nose in profile as he was looking out of the window. There was a magazine held loosely, forgotten, by his side and as Doug's eyes focused his stomach knotted and a lump started to form in his throat. He knew that figure, though it had been a long time since they had been in the same room.

"Tom?" he breathed tentatively, as if this dream would disappear like all the others. His cracked voice snapping the figure to attention.

"Yeah, it's me. Try to stay still Doug, you're in the hospital."

"Yeah, I guessed that much. It's really you, isn't it?"

"Yes, it's really me. Better late than never huh?", Tom said softly with a small smile. Over the years he'd thought of a thousand things he wanted to say but now the words wouldn't come. The sight of Doug so fragile and lost had made everything else seem so unimportant.

At the sound of the familiar soft voice Doug's face broke into a grin and he felt tears in his eyes as he watched his old friend walk over to his side.

"Where the hell have you been?" he asked, his voice breaking as Hanson bent down to look at him.

"Not where I should have been. I must've been completely out of my mind! Doug, I'm so sorry.", he almost sobbed, reaching out to hug him but stopping just in time as he remembered Penhall's back needed to be kept still.

"What the hell do you need to be sorry for? Man, I can't believe you're actually here. I looked for so long."

"Hiding's one of my talents." Tom said smiling at him.

"I tried everything, looked everywhere. Every hospital in nearly every state. The shrink at county is on the verge of having me locked up. Your poor mother probably never wants to hear from me again.", he rambled as his voice grew louder and agitated.

"Don't worry about that now, they'll get over it"

"Where were you?"

"It doesn't matter, I'm here now."

"I can't believe it" Doug stammered as he reached out, slightly embarrassed, and touched Tom's hand.

"It's ok, It's just me." Hanson replied softly, half smiling.

"I'm not dreaming this am I? I mean, you're not suddenly going to vanish."

"Not unless you want me to."

"If you do, man, I'll kill you!" Doug replied smiling back, still trying to grasp that this was real.

"Not in your condition you won't" Tom said half joking. "How do you feel?"

"Like I fell off a cliff!"

"Do that often do you?"

"Just the once" he grinned, relieved at how easy it felt to be talking to him again. He'd been so worried over the years that if he ever did see Tom again, he wouldn't know how to be around him anymore. His mind soon turned away as his head began to clear and he realised something felt very wrong.

"What's happened? Why am I here?", Doug asked, trying to pull himself up. Then, suddenly suspicious, "Why are you here now?", questioning eyes fixed on Hanson.

"Doug stay still, please!" Hanson said, doing his best to keep the panic from his voice.

"Tom, I can't feel my legs. What's happening?"

"Why don't you let me get the doctor to talk to you" he said, panic rising.

"No. You talk to me. I want to hear this from you, not some stranger I've never even laid eyes on."

"You're not even supposed to be awake yet, you should be resting."

"No. Somethings going on. Why can't I move and why have you turned up after all this time? Tom, talk to me man.", Doug demanded sensing the panic in his friend's eyes.

"Captain Fuller? Dorothy?" Hanson called into the corridor, looking like a deer in headlights.

"What's going on? Everything ok?" Fuller asked as they rushed in.

"That's what I want to know." Doug said, sleep and frustration fighting in his mind.

"I can't do this on my own." Hanson eyes looking out pleading each of them in turn.

"It's ok Tom." Fuller said quietly.

"What can't he do on his own? Somebody needs to start talking. Dorothy? Captain?" his eyes darting from one to the other.

"Look, Doug," Fuller began, "Do you remember what happened?"

"I was in the van and the woke up here. What…."

"When you were thrown from the car, the impact shattered your back, some of the bone fragments have caused nerve damage to your spine" Fuller said slowly and softly.

"They can fix it right? That's why I'm here.", Doug babbled as he looked at each of them, eyes wide and pleading with them for reassurance.

His three companions looked at each other in silent desperation, each one willing the others to take the lead on this one. Looking into the frightened face of his large bear like friend, Tom felt a sudden calm descend. If Penhall needed him to do this, then he would, he at least owed him that much. He made his way over to Doug's side and sat carefully on the edge of the bed, putting his hand gently on the larger man's arm.

"Doug, they say there has been a lot of nerve damage. The doctors and therapists will do everything they can for you, but there is a chance that you won't be able to walk again. I'm so sorry."

"Dodo?" Doug's voice came out so small as he looked over in desperation.

"It will be ok Doug.", she tried to reassure him as she rushed over, "We're all here and we will not leave your side as long as you need us".

"I don't understand."

"You don't have to right now." Tom said, doing an impressive job of keeping his voice calm and reassuring. "Take your time and when you're ready, we'll speak to the doctors, let them talk you through what's going to happen and then whatever you need, we'll be here."

Fuller stood by the door watching his younger companions, each one with eyes shining with unshed tears as Doug held tightly to Dorothy's hand and Tom's shoulder, both of them trying to comfort him as best they could, painfully aware that the biggest blow was yet to come.

"Doug, we're going to need you to answer some questions." Fuller said tentatively.

"I don't think right now is the time. He's supposed to be resting." Dorothy exclaimed standing protectively by Penhall's side.

"It's ok Dodo. What do you want to ask? I don't remember much."

"You told Judy over the radio that you recognised who was in the car behind. Can you remember?"

"I'm sorry Captain, all I remember is looking for…." he stopped short and his face drained of what little colour he had. "Harry. Where the hell is Harry?"

"It's ok Doug, try and stay calm." Fuller told him as he looked over and met Hanson's wide eyes as they both suddenly felt the wind knocked out of them. He looked like he was about to spring up and run from the room as fast as he was able. Instead of running though, Tom once again, calmly and gently, did what had to be done.

"Doug, when the car crashed, you and Harry were thrown through the windshield, Harry hit his head pretty hard and the impact fractured his skull." He stopped and took a deep breath and looked into Doug's face for a moment before going on. "It caused severe brain damage and the doctors are saying….", his voice caught in his throat and for a moment the words wouldn't come, "They're saying that he's not showing any brain activity."

"Is he…" Doug began.

"I don't know." Tom replied, throwing a warning glance in Fuller's direction. "It's early days. Iokage is tough and the doctors are doing absolutely everything they can. He'll keep fighting. You both will, right?"

Doug looked back at his friend with new determination in his face as he squeezed Dorothy's hand.

The three of them sat there in silence, not moving as Fuller left in search of the doctor who followed hot on the captain's heels within minutes.

"Hello Doug, it is ok if I call you Doug?"

"That's my name."

"I'm Dr Thompson. Are you in any pain?"

"Not at the moment. I can't really feel anything Doc."

"Any headache? Dizziness?" , he asked as he shone his torch in Doug's eyes.

"No, just tired and groggy."

"That'll be the sedatives" he replied as he returned the torch to his cost pocket, seemingly having finished looking for whatever it was. "We're going to take you down to theatre for a scan now Doug. Just to check how things are mending after the operation ok?"

"Sure. Are you guys…."

"They'll be here when you're finished", the doctor said bluntly as two orderlies came in and began unhooking wires and removing breaks ready to wheel him away.

"We're not going anywhere, Douggie, we'll see you soon", Dorothy called to him as they wheeled him away.

"Hey. He'll get through this; you know that right!" Tom said gently as he put his arms around the now sobbing Dorothy.

"I'm so glad you're here", she said quietly.

Doug lay nervously on the flat uncomfortable surface of the MRI machine, the enclosed space making him more anxious by the second, the back and neck brace making the feeling of confinement worse. This was now the second attempt after sedating him to just get him quietly into the scanner. When the machine kicked in and the deafening sound of the rotating magnets assailed his ears, he was sure he was about to lose his mind. Just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore silence suddenly descended around him and he was slowly and carefully removed from the large tube of the machine.

"So, what's the verdict? How does it look?" he asked the technician as they started to wheel him back to his room.

"Your doctor will let you know once the scans have been analysed."

"How long will that take?"

"Not long", he replied kindly.

He was sure this had meant to be reassuring but Doug had never felt so scared in his whole life. Sure, he had been scared many times, in El Salvador, in the court room watching his best friend on trial for murder. Two years ago, in an abandoned warehouse with said friend he had been terrified but he had never felt the bone deep fear he felt now. His mind kept reeling, wondering what the hell he was going to do. He kept telling himself it was early days and to wait for the results, but the thought kept pushing itself back to the front of his mind…Paralysed for life. How was he going to take care of Clavo? How was he going to work? What was going to happen to him. And Harry? How would he even consider the idea of Harry not being around anymore. On top of that, now that he was not in the room with him, Hanson just appearing out of thin air completely spun him out. He felt like his brain was racing at a thousand miles an hour and his head was about to explode. He wanted to run away. This thought made him laugh bitterly to himself. As if that we going to be an option anytime soon! The whole situation was so senseless. All this had happened because some kids were trying to rip off a store? It was so trivial, so unimportant and it changed both his and Harry's life for good.

Just when he felt he might burst from it all, he saw Dorothy's strained smile shining down on him as he realised he was back in his room. He could see the tell tale shining in her eyes that showed him she had been crying and was trying now not to show him. In that moment he was so incredibly happy she was there. Yes, she drove him crazy, could be unbelievably selfish (although less so these days) and had a mouth like the Hudson River, but god, he loved her. He loved their disjointed beautiful family. He then realised who was missing.

"Where's Clavo?" he asked her gently

"At school, I'll pick him up on time, don't worry", she reassured him. "I want to make sure you're settled first."

"What would I do without you?" Doug said, smiling sleepily up at her.

"You never will be again, I promise", she replied carefully taking his hand.

"Would you like us to give you a minute?" Fuller said as he sheepishly looked around the room and Hanson shifted nervously with his hands in his pockets.

"No, you're fine, guys." Dorothy told him, smiling at their discomfort. "PDA's over."

"So, how was it?" Tom asked.

"Oh, you know, not great" Penhall replied raising an eyebrow. "The docs are looking at the scans and then I guess sentence will be passed."

"Just remember, it's still early" Dorothy reminded him.

"I know.", he said distantly. "Tom, you're gonna be here right? You're not disappearing on me again are you?"

"No, I'll be around"

"Where are you staying? Your mom's?"

"Oh shit! My mother!" Tom gasped, drawing stifled smiles from the others. "She doesn't know I'm here."

"Are you telling me that you haven't spoken to your mother in two years?" Doug said accusingly.

"No, I've spoken to her. I just haven't seen her" he said feeling two inches tall. "You don't understand, she didn't need all that…"

"Hey, no one's accusing you of anything." Fuller cut in. "But don't you think it's time?"

"This is going to be fun." Tom sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry I'm going to miss that." Doug smiled. The smile faded quite quickly as Dr Thompson walked into the room, a yellow file under his arm.

"I've had a look at your scans Doug and there's some more checks I would like to carry out now you're more awake. Ok?"

"Sure. What do the scans show?"

"Would you prefer to do this in private or would you like these people to stay."

"No, I want them here."

"Ok, that's fine." As the doctor began to talk Dorothy once again took hold of Doug's hand as Hanson and Fuller moved protectively closer to their friend.

"The operation was successful in that we have been able to remove all the bone fragments and the scaffold we have put around the broken bones is holding well. The swelling has also gone down."

"That's good right?" Doug asked hopefully.

"It's what we would have hoped." Dr Thompson replied.

"So, is that good news or not?" Tom asked calmly, hiding his nerves and frustration.

"Yes, it means we can start treatment and physiotherapy sooner rather than later."

"He'll be ok?" Dorothy asked hopefully.

"It's still too early to tell. There are further checks we need to do. Regardless of how well the bone heals and holds there has been further nerve damage."

"Further nerve damage?" Hanson, concern giving a harsh edge to the deep soft voice.

"There's old nerve damage from previous gunshot wounds I understand. The extent of the damage from the accident remains to be seen. I'm just going to run some little tests Doug is that ok?"

"Sure." He replied weakly.

"Now, just let me know as soon as you feel anything ok."

"Sure".

Doug continued staring wide eyed at the ceiling trying not to think or worry. Tom watched intently as the doctor touched Penhall's legs with several different objects. His stomach sank as Doug offered no reaction to been poked with pins, ice cold metal, the doctor even used tweezers to pluck out hair. Dr Thompson himself offered no response each time Doug replied he felt nothing, his voice getting smaller every time. Simply thanked him and scribbled down a note. No one in the room really needed him to respond, they knew what it meant.

"Thank you, Doug. I'll let you get some rest now."

"Thanks Doc" he replied his voice barely audible.

"I couldn't feel anything." Doug said flatly after the doctor's footsteps had faded away. "This is really happening isn't it?"

"Hey, give yourself some time to heal. Then see what happens, ok.", Tom told him kindly.

"You know Doug, you might have to…." Fuller began but was instantly cut short.

"Get some rest! Good idea." Tom said, glaring at the older man as if daring him to continue.

"That would be good." Doug replied dully.

"Do you want me to stay?" Dorothy asked nervously

"Always" he replied trying to smile, "But I would feel better if I knew Clavo was with you. Could you please get him for me?"

"I don't want to leave you like this."

"You don't really have a choice unless you decide to move in here. Please, look after the kid."

"Of course.", she replied kissing his forehead. "You rest, I'll see you soon."

"You'll take care of her while I'm in here won't you?" Penhall asked his two friends once they were alone.

"Sure." Tom answered quietly.

"Is there anything we can do for you Doug?" Fuller asked.

"Just watch out for my girl.", he smiled weakly. "I would like to rest now if that's ok."

"Of course. We'll be back later ok?" Fuller replied.

"Yeah."

"I'd like to stay if you don't mind Doug."

"No, Tom. I'd like to be alone."

"Doug…"

"I'll be ok really. I'd just like to rest and have a bit of peace. Anyway, I wouldn't want to deprive you of the worst dressing down of your life when Ms H see's you."

"Don't remind me" Tom sighed as the colour drained from his face. "Ok, you can have your way this time, but I'm not letting you quit on us."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good. Rest up ok. We'll be back."

"I'm counting on it", Doug replied, trying to keep his voice steady, wishing they would hurry up and go so he could give way to the tears that were threatening to fall. With a nervous glance back towards him, he watched Hanson close the door and then, alone in the silence, let the damn burst.