jottings: this might be my favorite. also, oh god, i make reference to why Holley isn't with Mater...hopefully it's alright. and Giulia doesn't technically belong to me; i got the idea of her from a statement by John in the dvd commetnary.
and a big thank you to my reviewers! you guys make my day.
maps
wait; they don't love you like i love you.
;;
five times Finn should've taken his own advice
(and one time he's glad he didn't).
[three.]
Holley orders them two cups of tea, then props her elbows on the table and says "I'm thinking of getting a cat."
"Really, now?" Finn's eyes sweep over the small diner out of habit. Deciding there're no immediate threats aside from clogged arteries and heart attacks, he settles his aqua gaze on Holley. "And what makes you think that?"
She shrugs loosely, tucking a chestnut wave behind her ear. "They're good company; not much work. It sounds perfect if you ask me."
Finn can't deny that he sees the appeal. The life of a spy can be lonely enough; coming home to a cat waiting would be nice. Plus, he likes the way they wiggle their ears—not that he'll be admitting to fawning over cat ears anytime soon. "I think that would be a good idea. Your potential cat, I mean." He smoothes his already immaculate black hair. "Hell, I may even get one myself."
"Or a fish," she suggests airily. "You seem like a fish person."
A waitress comes to their booth and sets a pair of white porcelain mugs on the table. "Can I get you anything else?"
"No, thank you," says Finn, complete with one of his famous heart-melting grins.
The waitress giggles and suddenly feels the need to bend over as much as possible. "Just let me know if you need anything." Her hips sashay all the way back to the kitchen.
Finn pretends not to notice Holley's subtle bristling. Instead, he passes her three packets of sugar and busies himself with his own drink. "You know, you might pull something if you keep rolling your eyes that way."
The blush that springs to Holley's cheeks is immediate. She huffs incredulously, willing herself calm. "I'm curious," Holley begins, stirring her tea idly with a salad fork. "What were your past relationships like?"
After nearly choking on his tea, Finn shakes his head. "It's not exactly a topic I'd care to divulge at the moment, Shiftwell," he pauses, narrowing his eyes inquisitively. "I am, however, increasingly curious about yours. If you don't mind my asking, why would a girl like yourself be single?"
Holley entertains the prospect of denying him an answer, but she's been down this road before. She'll have to give a little if she wants to receive. It'll take prying. Deal-making. "Let's make this interesting, Finn," she says, holding up her open palms. "If I answer your questions, you have to answer mine. Deal?"
His eyebrows rise of their own accord, scrunching together. "Is this quid pro quo, Miss Shiftwell?"
"Yes or no?"
Finn purses his lips, beginning to question why exactly his partner has taken to making obscure references to The Silence of the Lambs. "Deal."
All too pleased, Holley extends her hand. He shakes it warily, vowing to cancel her Netflix subscription next time he has the chance.
"Well, then," says Holley. She laces her fingers together and perches her chin atop them, blinking expectantly. "Have you ever been married?"
"Married?" Finn echoes, not bothering to hide the edge of distaste in his voice. He laughs dryly and says, "To my job. But no, I've never been—no."
Holley nods appreciatively, taking a sip of tea. "Your question."
"What ever happened between you and Sir Mater?" Finn's eyes search her face while she ponders an answer. It's not a matter either of them touches upon very often, and suddenly, Finn is filled with apprehension.
"We're not together; if that's why you're all pale all of the sudden." The corners of her mouth quirk as Finn exhales obviously. She rubs the pad of her thumb over the magenta lip-print along the rim of her mug. "I'm not sure that we were ever really together. I mean—well, you were there for nearly everything. It just wasn't right for either of us. I'm always away; Mater's a good man—we're still friends. He deserves someone—," she pauses, searching for the right word. "Someone who can provide stability. That's not me."
Finn leans forward. "So Mater and you never…" his voice trails off and he makes a vaguely obscene gesture, because Mater and any sexual euphemism just don't belong in the same sentence.
Holley meets his eyes for the first time since he asked the question and raises her eyebrows. "No. We didn't." She rolls her eyes and laughs through her nose. "I'm pretty shit at relationships, to be honest."
Finn smiles crookedly. "Believe me, love, you're preaching to the choir."
"That brings me to my next question," Holley says, her disposition brightening. "What was your last relationship like?"
Sighing deeply, Finn looks as though he may not answer. But he forces a smile and begins. "Her name was Giulia. She was an Italian agent I met through a mission when I was much younger; less experienced, I might add. Beautiful girl, brilliant—she was not unlike yourself in that respect, Miss Shiftwell. And, damn, she had a killer shot." He grimaces; his smile grows wistful.
"I was stupid," he says, his voice firm. "I got too close—too invested in her. If they teach you anything at the Academy, it's to trust no one. I should've remembered that then."
"What happened?" asks Holley, twisting the end of a chestnut lock.
"As it turned out, Giulia was a double-agent sent to infiltrate Headquarters and when her cover was compromised, she subsequently tried to kill me," Finn says with an air of flippancy. He casually tugs the collar of his shirt to one side, revealing the tell-tale beginning of a white scar on his left shoulder. The scar that Holley's traced her tongue across, clamped her mouth around so many times, yet never thought to question.
"Wow," Holley muses simply. "You definitely have me beat for worst-past-relationship."
Finn shrugs elegantly. "As they say, it's just water under the bridge now."
They fall silent for several heartbeats.
"I believe it's my question again," says Finn, breaking the silence.
"Right," responds Holley.
"I feel we've established the fact that neither of us particularly excel at the art of love," Finn starts. Holley laughs and he relishes in the sound of it. "What's the longest relationship you've ever had?"
Holley exhales, her mind calculating. "Oh god. I haven't really been in one since college. And those never lasted." She runs her fingers through her hair, and crosses her arms on the table. "I suppose this is," she says, gesturing faintly between them. "If you would even call it that."
Lips curving lopsidedly, he nods. "I think I have to agree."
"Well, just for the record," Holley says, reaching her hand out until it rests on his. "I have no intentions of killing you anytime soon."
Finn allows her to lace their fingers together and is fairly certain that he can trust her on that.
.x.
(A week later, Holley adopts a grey fluff-ball of a cat and names it Finn the Second.)