April was so awesome at giving gifts.

She must have picked it up from Leslie or something like that Andy guessed, because she always seemed to know what to get him. Even when it wasn't for something like Christmas, she'd do things for him like crossing off his bucket list and not divorcing him for longer than a few hours at most. He tried to return the favor but most of the time he just couldn't figure that stuff out. Mostly because April never told him what she wanted and just shrugged, saying whatever was fine. At one point Andy tried being cute and saying all he wanted for Christmas was her, but she just looked at him like he had too many heads, so she kept being strangely thoughtful but nonchalant about it.

And with that, she kept expecting Andy to do nothing at all but that wouldn't stand. Especially not for Christmas, and he was starting to run out of time. No, Andy was going to figure out the perfect gift for April in less than a month.

"What do you think I should get her, Leslie?" Andy asked, already out of ideas. "She always tells me not to worry, and then she gets me super cool stuff."

"Like what?" Leslie said, curious despite her previous annoyance at his intrusion in her office.

"Well... uh, she got me the Reggie Wayne jersey," he explained, counting off his fingers. "That was a long time ago, but we went to the Grand Canyon and she paid for Xbox Live last month. So, she pretty much gets awesome presents for me all the time."

"So get her something like that, something that's really personal," Leslie suggested, flipping a page over in front of her and cracking a marker open.

"Oh yeah, that's what I was thinking but what's personal to April? Like a dead raccoon? Or mud?" Andy stroked his chin and thought hard about it. "No, a dead raccoon coated in mud. That might be it."

"Maybe," Leslie nodded seriously. "As much as I would love to brainstorm gifts for April, I actually have a lot of work to do."

"Oh, that's okay. I'm sure I'll figure it out," Andy laughed and walked out.

In reality, he was still lost. Dead raccoon or no, he didn't even have the beginning of an idea for what to get April. He'd been sitting on the stuffed raccoon plan for about three days and it sounded perfect, but still not good enough. Maybe he'd have to get her twenty stuffed raccoons and clean out a spare room for them, but that might be too much. Then again, what else could Andy do? He sure as hell didn't know or he wouldn't be sitting outside of Leslie's office thinking so hard about it while April stared blankly at him with her eyebrows raised.

Walking past her, he lifted a finger like he was going to start saying something to Ron before the other man pressed his little keychain and left Andy staring at a closed door just outside his office.

"What's up?" April asked from behind him.

"Oh, nothing. Uh, nothing at all babe, just... um," Andy looked over for someone to make this an easier escape but there was no one else. "Well, I'm... you're so smart."

"Hm?" April had apparently given up paying attention to him, scraping something off of the little name plaque on her desk.

"Never mind," he said quickly, rushing out of the department with an oozing sweat running down his back.

Later, Andy called Leslie for an emergency meeting. Knowing exactly what he wanted, she brought a calendar and a notepad with her. When he asked what those were for, she pointed to the calendar and told him that was April's yearlong holidays calendar and the notepad had all of the leftover ideas Leslie had when she came up with the various gift ideas for her. They decided to settle all of this over lunch.

"Leslie, you're super good at giving gifts. I mean, you told me to rip off one of the legs of that stuffed dog and April keeps that thing everywhere," he bit into his sandwich and chewed furtively. "Maybe I should get her a little stuffed me-"

"All right, that might be creepy enough to work," Leslie admitted but sighed. "Look, I was going to give her a gift card for a free day at Spawnee. You should just take that and give it to her for Christmas."

"You sure? I mean, I don't think she's gonna want that Leslie," he couldn't see April doing anything other than terrorizing the employees and getting thrown out of the building.

"That's ridiculous, she'll love my gift. She always loves my gifts," Leslie looked taken back by Andy's claim.

"I bet she's gonna hate it, but that might be the point," Andy bunched up his eyebrows and squinted in concentration. "But you go ahead and give that to her. What else you got on that list?"

"Um... she asked me for a vial of calf's blood so I guess there's that option," she flipped a piece of paper and tapped it with her fingers. "And she's already got a Jerry voodoo doll so that one's off the list."

"Wait, I think... I think I got it!" Andy jumped up and immediately sprinted for the door, slipping and stumbling out of the diner in a hurry.

April hated Christmas, more or less. People were excited and being merry when the only people that were allowed to be happy were her and Andy. Most of the time she liked walking around the neighborhood, tearing down lights and stringing up the yard decorations in compromising positions. Last year their neighbors knew exactly who to look for when their little Santa was waving jubilantly at the street with a festive garden gnome face first in his crotch.

It was so much better just because the Santa kept giggling and screaming Merry Christmas! to anyone that passed.

But Andy always made a big deal out of it and April didn't mind seeing him get so worked up in an effort to find the perfect gift for her every year. Usually he tried to get her to take off work for a few extra days, saying it would be like a second honeymoon only a lot colder and they'd stay inside all day and have sex on the couch. As tempting as that offer always seemed, she turned it down and accepted whatever song or new stuffed animal - taxidermy or not - he gave her. It was the thought that counted, or something stupid like that, she noted.

So when she woke up on Christmas morning she groaned to herself and walked out to the living room for Andy's usual present opening ritual of him tearing open everything whether it was for him or not. Instead, he was sitting upright on the couch with a small box in his hands. It was wrapped so poorly, looking like a square coated in garbage, and for some reason she started smiling.

"Merry Christmas!" he shouted, jumping to his feet when she sat down.

"Yeah, sure," she grimaced, still tired. "Get started now and maybe we can go back to sleep before Leslie calls us."

"Well, I want you to open this," he presented her the weird little, badly wrapped present.

"What is it?" she asked, pulling it apart to reveal a small flip case that she popped open.

Inside of the little case was a pack of what looked like index cards. When she pulled those out they each had the same thing written on them in Andy's handwriting, some in pencil and a few in marker:

Ludgate Coupon!

"What's a Ludgate coupon?" she looked at the back of the card for anything else but came up blank.

"You know how you always say stuff like we should go egg Jerry's house again and we need to make fun of Ann all the time?" Andy sat down, smiling.

"Yeah, sure. You always laugh and then Leslie tells me I shouldn't," April agreed, "which is stupid because making fun of Ann is probably my third favorite thing to do."

"Well, there's a box of fifty coupons that, whenever you give someone in the office one, they have to do whatever you want to do," Andy wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Even murder?" April asked seriously, considering Andy's gift. "Double murder? Murder-suicide? How much murder can I get away with?"

"I think Leslie said that was one of the things you can't do," Andy pulled her closer to him and kissed her. "Do you like it?"

"It's perfect," she said, giving him a brief smile. "Now, go open your stuff."

April watched him destroy several boxes and so much wrapping paper that she worried she might actually have to clean it up at some point. He screamed just like a little kid at the new video game, and when he opened Champion's bones he just looked at them confused before April explained they weren't for him. She turned one of the "Ludgate Coupons" around in her hand, the little case in the other, and wondered what the first one would be. She had a thousand ideas just then - the first was making Leslie take an emergency visit to Ann only for April to surprise her with a roadkill present - but one seemed way better than the rest.

"Andy, come here," she beckoned him with a curled finger. "I wanna spend my first Coupon."

"Cool, on what?" he inquired obliviously, standing up and only getting the idea when she gave him a wry smile and pulled him on top of her.

As it turned out, Andy was also pretty awesome at giving gifts.