He's spent most of the evening watching his partner sleep peacefully, keeping the volume on the TV low to allow for Steve to get some much-needed rest.
Dividing his attention between the 49ers game that was leaving him thoroughly frustrated, and a copy of the San Francisco Telegraph in his lap, Mike hadn't minded the quiet solitude through much of the early morning hours.
With the beer in his hand as a sole companion, his mind continued to drift back to their case, and the vast assortment of questions he was still seeking answers to. Then it travelled to Frankie's and the accusations Steve had thrown in his lap, so hurtful and true at the same time. He wondered if the young man he was lucky to call his partner ever realized just how mature and wise beyond his years he truly was.
The ringing of his home phone abruptly pulled him out of his deep thoughts, making him flinch and immediately glance over at Steve. Thankfully, the young Inspector seemed dead to the world despite the noise, curled up in the comforter, his left arm wrapped around his head and burying his face in the pillow.
Rushing out of his chair before a second ring would disturb the silence, Mike reached for the receiver just in time, his glance drifting over the clock on his wall and dreadfully noticing that it was almost 3am.
Haunted by the terror of the countless reason for a call this early in the morning, being anything from another murder to something horrific that might have happened to Jeanie, he sucked in a deep breath, before answering.
"Mike Stone?"
"Michael, it's Pam. I am so sorry to call you at this hour."
A wave of relief washed over him and Mike subconsciously held a hand to his lips for a moment, subduing a gasp, his mind and body overreacting to the slew of bad news that had riddled his peace over the past few weeks.
"It's never too late or…too early to call me. How can I help you, Pam?"
"Michael, I was just worried. I called Fletcher a bit ago and he told me that you had gotten…you know…beat up. And where. And I just feel horrible about all this."
"Don't feel bad, I am fine. This is nothing.", Mike lied, inadvertently running a hand across his sore ribs, "He shouldn't have told you something like that. You have enough to worry about."
"Are you sure? He told me about…about your black eye. I was getting ready to stop over and bring you some dinner so that you can rest. I can be there in a few minutes."
"Oh goodness no, that won't be necessary, especially not this time a night. ", Mike said too fast and glanced over at Steve, who still hadn't moved, "I am fine, really. We got the situation taken care of. The men who attacked me are in custody."
There was a pause on the other line, as Pam hesitated for a bit, and he could hear a stifled whimper.
"Are they going to let them free again too, just like they did with that monster that killed Jeremy?"
Having expected the outburst, Mike shook his head somberly, his hands tracing the outline of the small wooden side table acting as his phone stand.
"Not with eye-witness testimony they won't. I already talked to Gerry and he's going to charge all of them with attempted murder."
"All of them? Just how many were there? What is wrong with people?"
Sensing that the conversation was only making the lonely widow on the other end even more upset, Mike ran a hand over his dry eyes, struggling to come up with the right words to soothe her soul.
"They're just people full of…of rage. People who aren't thinking clear and jumping on the first guy they come across."
"They could have killed you, Michael. Just think…Jeanie would have to go through the same thing I am going through now. You've always been a great friend to our family, and a great cop. Jeremy never stopped talking about you and he was so proud to see you up in that Homicide office. But Michael, don't you think it's time to quit while…while you're on top and still alive? The streets aren't getting any safer for you guys."
The candid words spoken in undisguised grief and frustration hit their target right on point, causing Mike to revisit every day since word of the unwarranted shooting death of his old role model and friend had reached him.
They were doubts and questions that hadn't surfaced before despite deaths on the force, thoughts he could only justify as growing fonder the older he became, perhaps even more guarded about his future and role in law enforcement. Part of him agreed with Pam, having seen too many good men getting gunned down for no reason other than wearing a uniform.
But then there was another voice in his head, quickly gaining momentum. It was a voice that had risen from the arguments Steve's passionate plea had put into his mind about the reasons behind wearing a badge, and the importance of standing up for the right causes.
And that voice continued to ask him the same question over and over again, every single time he thought of Jeremy's death and the possibility of taking an early retirement.
If not me, then who?
No matter how long he pondered, how ferociously his heart argued that an early retirement for the sake of Jeanie or anybody he cared for might not be a bad idea, the sense of duty associated with that question never went away.
If not he, then who would be leading a team of the best Homicide Inspectors the City of San Francisco had ever seen? If not he then who would know how to turn a crime scene upside down to look for clues nobody expected, discover the things that weren't there but should be? If not he then who would ensure that his partner had a nurturing environment to grow up in, become the best cop to ever walk the streets of this town and create change and goodwill long after he was gone?
And the answer was simple, really.
If not he, then who else would take on that difficult task, and the burdens associated with it? But to Mike, they were burdens he carried proudly, scars he wasn't afraid to show, experiences that shaped him into the person he was today.
If his past truly made the man, then Mike wasn't afraid to use all those life experiences, grab the reins and take his future into his own two hands; for his peace of mind and the safety of all the people he cared for the most…knowing he would protect them and the principles he stood for with his dying breath if need be.
With a newfound sense of confidence, he glanced back over at Steve, a young man who'd changed his life in so many ways over the past few years; a kindred spirit he'd expected to mentor, and yet, ironically enough, found himself learning from.
A man barely into his thirties who single-handedly taught the seasoned Lieutenant a much-needed lesson in unconditional trust and devotion, along with a healthy dose of careless optimism that was as infectious as it was heart-warming.
"I won't be quitting for a long time, Pam.", he then said, lowering his voice when he saw Steve shift on the couch, "This city needs me. My partner needs me. And I am not done leaving my mark quite yet."