Chapter 2

"Gi, the point of tasting your cake, is that you taste it." Her wedding planner said with some exasperation.

"Yes but the dress fitting is the same time, and I won't be able to eat anything on the day anyway, you know what I'm like when I'm nervous-excited." She shrugged, "and you know Pontus and Alda can't go to the mainland, all that matters is that it tastes nice."

Linka sighed, "I do not like that kind of cake, none of it is going to taste nice to me."

"I'll go with you." Wheeler's voice startled her and when she just stared he said impatiently, "I like cake. Do you want help or not?"

She nodded and Gi went over to hug him, "You're wonderful, thank you."

"I just want the free cake," he teased, but hugged her back and Linka was conscious of a pang of jealousy. She couldn't even have what Gi had with him.

After dropping Gi off with her mother for the dress fitting, the two Planeteers were left alone for the relatively short ride to the bakers.

"How is building the alter going?" Linka asked.

Wheeler snorted, "It's more like a stage if you ask me. There's no way I'd want to be up there, let alone be surrounded by water."

"Da, I am not looking forward to decorating it, or being part of the ceremony."

"It'll stay up." He promised, "We're gonna put seats up there for you, it'll only be the bride and groom on display."

"That is good."

There was silence for a couple of minutes and then he asked, "How's the rest of it going?"

"Good. Alda and I need to go to Oceanus at some point to get our bridesmaid dresses but I think everything else is at least ordered."

"Must be costing a small fortune."

She nodded, "Gi's parents have been very generous. I do not think it works the same in Oceanus, when I mentioned the cost to Alda she looked at me blankly but I take it that the food and the outfits coming from there are taken care of."

As they entered the baker's and were welcomed, Linka retrieved her list of what she was expecting to be tasted. There were two lists, the American style cakes Gi wanted and the European styles that she had no interest in. Linka had approved several of each for the tasting.

"Oh my God, fruit cake is not supposed to taste like this!" Wheeler exclaimed, alarming the baker until it became clear that it wasn't an insult. "Seriously, I could eat this stuff all day."

Linka laughed, enjoying his reaction. She knew she should have stopped her clandestine activities, and she certainly should not be including Wheeler in them, but she wasn't ready to let go of the fantasy just yet.

"I think you're wrong." He said when they got back in the 'cruiser. "I'd never have believed it if I hadn't tasted it but I'd definitely have gone for the fruit cake."

"Da, but it takes a lot longer to prepare and we do not have time. Besides, despite what Gi says about being too nervous to eat, she does prefer the American style." She shrugged.

Wheeler looked at her curiously, "Then why try the others?"

"I knew it was my only chance to get you to try something different," She told him mischievously, and when he tried to tickle her, "Hey I am trying to fly a plane!"

He was laughing and Linka savoured the moment, storing it up for when he remembered their disagreement again.

Having snagged a different shade of blue during the choosing of the bridesmaid dresses, and being happy to design her own, Linka's book was complete alongside Gi's.

She wondered what to do with it. Despite all her hard work on her private project, burning seemed somehow appropriate. The dream… or obsession, depending on how you looked at it, had to end. She couldn't even imagine what Wheeler would think if he ever found it.

Does it still bother him? she wondered sadly. He'd been helping out with much better grace over the last couple of weeks but he was still oddly quiet. It might be because they had guests, although Pontus would be joining them permanently of course, but she had a feeling it wasn't that.

Would it have worked if I had said yes? She tried to consider the possibilities and finally decided that, no it would probably have ended in disaster for them and the team. And now?

It wasn't a possibility but her heart didn't seem to want to give up.

She hid the book away once more without making any decisions and headed out to the rehearsal.

"Why do I have to be there?" Wheeler asked clearly annoyed, "I don't even get why you have to rehearse it, and I'm not supposed to be doing anything."

"Linka, explain it to him," Gi protested, "he has to be here!"

Things had seemed better between them since the cake trip but now he was glaring at her as if daring her to take Gi's side.

She swallowed, "I do not see why Wheeler or the others need to watch if they do not want to."

"Linka! It has to be perfect!" her best friend exclaimed and before she could answer, Wheeler challenged her.

"Why? This is a wedding not a fucking play. It's supposed to be two people pledging themselves in front of their nearest and dearest and before God… though why you even need an audience is beyond me, you either mean the promises you make or you don't." he threw his hands out in a wide gesture. "The thing is, you don't get to practice a relationship, you don't get a do-over when you screw up and getting your wedding exactly right is not going to mean shit in the long run. What if the rehearsal is better? Are you going to say that that one counted, that you meant the vows more that time?"

Gi was crying by the time he finished. Pontus had put an arm around her and was looking like he didn't know whether he should punch Wheeler. He didn't get a chance however as the American jumped off the stage and splashed through the shallow water back to shore and into the tree line.

Linka sat on one of the chairs, looking completely defeated.

"Don't say it," Wheeler said when Linka found him in his cabin some time later, "I was a jerk, I know. I'll apologise."

"Spasiba, that will help. Gi was very upset." When she didn't go he finally looked up and she added, "for what it is worth, I think you were right."

The last of his anger seemed to ease out of him. "That's worth a lot actually... I suppose I should say sorry to you too."

She shook her head, "Nyet, you do not owe me any apologies."

"Yeah. I do, I…" he shook his head and sighed, "I should be over it by now. You said no, end of story. And I am sorry, really, I shouldn't take it out on you. It just feels like all this wedding stuff is rubbing my nose in the fact that…"

"What?" she whispered.

At first he looked away, but then forced himself to meet her eyes and when he did she saw a reflection of everything she'd been feeling since she broke up with him. His voice was low and hoarse as if he was trying not to cry, "I lost you."

"Nyet." She shook her head wildly, tears starting in her eyes.

Wheeler swallowed and made a derisive laugh, "Yeah I know, I never had you to lose."

"That is not…" she took a deep breath, trying to calm her emotions, "Jason we were teenagers, we were not mature enough to deal with a permanent relationship."

"We weren't?" he raised an eyebrow in challenge.

Linka stiffened but said resolutely, "Da, we were not ready. The jealously, the arguments, it was on both sides. There was no trust."

He sat up a little straighter, "I offered to make a commitment to you, the biggest commitment two people can make. It wasn't me that didn't have trust."

"Oh da, you trusted me!" She rolled her eyes, "Every time a guy so much as spoke to me, however I reacted, you started playing the macho boyfriend. But when you were flirting with a pretty girl, well that was just your personality and I should know it did not mean anything."

"It would have been different if we were married," he insisted and the Russian felt her temper rising.

"Marriage does not fix those things!" she began pacing, "You said today that you either mean the promise or you do not? Well if you mean it, you should not even have to say it, your behaviour should speak for itself."

Wheeler slumped sulkily back into his pillows, "So I'm the bad guy, whatever. Why are we even talking about this again?"

She stopped and looked at him, her voice going quiet, "you were not a bad guy, you were a teenage boy, that is my point."

"At least I was trying, you didn't even give us a chance." He sounded like he wanted to be angry but didn't have the energy.

"I gave you so many chances!"

He snorted, "Even when I did exactly what you told me to do, it wasn't good enough. Let's face it, I wasn't what you were looking for, at least you knew what I wanted out of the relationship."

"Da, you wanted to own me! You wanted me to wear a ring so that everyone would know I was your property until you could be bothered to grow up and…" she closed her eyes, knowing that they were just rehashing their old arguments, "I am sorry. I thought after what you said today you might finally understand why I ended things but we will obviously never understand each other." She headed for the door, "I should not have said anything, just forget I was here."

He didn't try to stop her leaving but stared after her for a long time afterwards.

By the time Alda and Linka were ready to leave for Oceanus the next day, Wheeler had already charmed Gi into forgiving him and was industriously helping with whatever she threw his way. He had even offered to take her to her wedding dress fitting while the girls were away.

He hadn't said anything to Linka, but was acting as if their conversation hadn't taken place.

"Linka!" Kwame stopped her on her way down to the eco-sub, jogging down the path to catch her up, "I would like to ask a favour of you before you leave, my friend."

"What is it?" She asked, smiling but conscious that Alda was waiting for her.

The usually calm young man shifted uncomfortably, "I spoke to Georgie, she still wants to come for the wedding but she is not entirely comfortable sharing a room with someone she has never met. I know you like your privacy but I was hoping that you would let her share with you instead of Alda?"

When the Russian hesitated he added, "Or perhaps I can convince Wheeler to share with myself and Ma-Ti."

"Nyet it is fine," Linka replied awkwardly, feeling bad since he had already given up his cabin for Pontus' sister. "I will sort something out when I get back."

Kwame smiled gratefully at her, "thank you, we both appreciate it."

Linka smiled back even though she was far from feeling happy about it, and continued on her way.

She didn't like other people messing with her things... Mishka had occasionally done it to annoy her but without female siblings she'd never had anything that was jointly owned. When they first moved to the island Gi, who had a lot of female cousins, had 'borrowed' things leading to some very explosive arguments.

Linka's footsteps slowed as an old memory surfaced…

"Babe, come on! We're going to be late." Wheeler's impatient voice outside her door made her smile.

Opening the door and leaning on the frame in her short black dress and hair curled around her shoulders. "Did not anyone tell you that you are supposed to be charming on a date?"

He just stared, making her giggle. "Wow."

"You too." Since he was wearing smart black jeans and a blue shirt that was tucked in for once, with a white t-shirt beneath it, he also looked dressed up. "Come in a minute, I will not be long."

She disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes and when she returned he was lounging on her bed, idly flipping through a fashion magazine. The picture of her parents that lived on her desk had been moved and she automatically returned it to its usual position.

"Sorry," the American said ruefully, standing up and dropping the magazine back on the bed, "I was just looking at it."

"That is ok?" she said, a little surprised.

He grinned, "It was like, a few inches out, and you noticed. What is that, OCD?"

Immediately uncomfortable, Linka turned away and shrugged making Wheeler curse under his breath. He stepped up behind her and gently placed his hands on her upper arms, "I didn't mean it like an insult or anything… sorry."

She turned slowly and smiled at him, "it is ok, my brother has said worse, and you might be correct."

"I found it kinda impressive actually." He'd released her when she turned but had replaced his hands on her arms, wanting to stay in contact. Since she didn't object he ran them down to hold her hands.

The lovely Russian shook her head, smiling, "We should go."

"Linka?"

"What?

"We should go." Alda broke in on her reminiscences and Linka nodded, following her into the sub.

Just before she closed the hatch, Linka felt someone watching her and looked up to see Wheeler working on the wedding stage. He'd paused in whatever he was doing and as their eyes met she had the feeling that he wanted to say something, but then he gave her a half wave and turned away.

Her heart aching, Linka forced her mind to focus on bridesmaid dresses and enjoying a couple of days away with her new friend.

To be continued…