Chapter 3

It had been fun. Alda and her friends and family were welcoming and excited for Pontus' wedding, and Linka, glad of a diversion, let herself get swept up in the atmosphere. The dresses they'd made were beautiful and when she exclaimed over the unusual fabrics, they had insisted on making her a present of some other garments.

At the same time the constant companionship and need to appear as enthusiastic as everyone else, was exhausting, especially when every couple she saw had started to remind her of her time with Wheeler. When you fight it's easy to focus on the things that don't work, but even when he'd been at his most immature he'd found ways to make her smile. In fact if she was honest, she couldn't remember a time when she'd been happier than on the days when they were together.

Finally back on Hope Island, having wished her friend a good night, Linka closed the door to her cabin and breathed a sigh of relief. She could only see vague shapes in the moonlight but it was enough to tell her that she was home and the silence was a welcome change.

She put the light on and gave out something between a gasp and a strangled cry, dropping her baggage and pressing one hand to her heart as it beat wildly, while the other automatically flew up, ready to use her ring.

"Babe?" The sleepy voice calmed her fear but ignited her temper.

"What do you think you are doing in my bed Wheeler?!" she hissed, trying to keep her voice down because she didn't want to wake the others and have them intruding as well.

He groaned and half sat up, revealing a bare chest, and ran a hand through his hair. "Kwame brought Georgie home with him. He said you'd agreed to share with her but Gi was adamant you wouldn't like anyone staying in here if you weren't around, so I gave her my room."

"But you thought it would be ok for you to sleep in here instead?" She demanded, although the angry note had gone out of her voice. The picture he presented was doing funny things to her insides.

"I thought it would be better if you yelled at me instead of Georgie, yeah." He sighed, "give me a minute to wake up and I'll go sleep in the common room."

Linka bit her lip. She knew she should let him go but she'd missed him, and not just for the last couple of days. The barrier that always seemed to be between them these days was absent too - mostly likely because Wheeler wasn't awake enough to remember his grievances - and she desperately wanted to keep it that way. "You do not have to go."

"I'm not going to let you sleep on the couch Beautiful, this is your room, I'll get out of your way." He would have stood up but she stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I was not going to sleep on the couch," she told him, her voice hushed.

He looked up at her in surprise, "Huh.? Are you sure? I mean we never..."

Linka blushed, "I was only suggesting sleep!"

He grinned that grin she'd always found nearly irresistible, and leant back against the pillows, "I know. If you're ok with it, then so am I."

She nodded and moved back to pick up her things, hanging her bridesmaid dress up before searching for a clean pair of pyjamas, all the time very aware that Wheeler was watching her.

"I will not be long..." She headed towards the bathroom but paused, "I would like to sleep on the side nearest the wall, leave me some room?"

"Yeah… sure." he sounded a bit bemused as if he was beginning to wonder whether he was actually awake and for some reason she found that reassuring.

Linka ran quickly through her usual ablutions trying not to think the thoughts that kept creeping into her head. Little fantasies like what would happen if she marched boldly to the bed, sat astride him and brought their lips together before he had a chance to object. Catching her eyes in the mirror as she removed her make-up, she was forced to admit to herself that it wouldn't end well and would probably destroy whatever was left of their friendship.

She sighed, she was tired and unhappy. She'd thought there was nothing she wanted more than to be alone with her own thoughts, and that was still probably what she needed even if it was no longer what she wanted.

I should ask him to leave, it is only going to be awkward. She thought, laying back to back trying not to touch...

The urge to cry rose up in her and she resolutely pushed it down, I will tell him that it is better if he sleeps in the common room after all. It will only be for one night, he will understand.

But when she stepped out into the bedroom Wheeler smiled and lifted the bed clothes invitingly. He looked more awake now but his eyes were still devoid of that edge of coldness that had been there for so long. In fact he appeared to like what he saw, though there was nothing particularly alluring in the flowery knee length shorts and plain blue tank top that made up her pyjamas.

Linka swallowed her resolution - dreading the return of the distance between them more than a night spent fighting her own instincts - and went to turn the light off.

Carefully climbing over him, without sitting down, and accepting the hand on her waist that was put there to steady her, she made it into the very small gap without too much difficultly. As he folded the blankets around them though she realised that his arms were still around her and his shoulder would be her pillow.

She waited for him to realise and pull away but he didn't and she began to relax.

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said," Wheeler's voice was low, hushed in the darkness.

"Oh nyet, please do not," she replied quickly, "do not spoil this, I do not want to argue with you tonight."

He hugged her closer, automatically comforting her, "I wasn't going to start a fight, I promise."

"Then you underestimate our ability to disagree, we could fight over whether the sky is blue."

"Well… it is kinda black right now." She laughed and he kissed her forehead, "that's better. Seriously though, there's something I need to say." She didn't try to stop him again so he continued. "You were right about the way I acted, I was an immature idiot and you deserved better."

"It was not just you," she put in, but he put a gentle finger to her lips to silence her. "I've thought about it a lot, and I want you to know that I do understand why you ended things... but I also need you to know that you were wrong about the way I felt about you."

Her eyes were looking intently into his but she didn't try to say anything so he moved his finger from her lips and slipped his arm back around her waist. "I loved you, I was never trying to own you, I was afraid of losing you. I get that everything I did just seemed to push you away, some of it was just dumb teen stuff, some of it... I'm still not sure what I did wrong."

"Maybe those times you did not do anything wrong? I was a teenager too Lyubov, I was scared."

"Of me?" He looked alarmed and she reached up to cup his face.

"Nyet, not of you... of what you could do to my heart." She swallowed and looked away, "there was always another girl for you to flirt with and you were getting impatient with me... I knew you did not see relationships the way I do, and then there was the Planeteers and the effect it could have on them. I could not handle the potential consequences so I ended it."

His arms tightened involuntarily but he was frowning, "I'd never have cheated on you if that's what you thought... What do you mean I was impatient? About what?"

She snuggled into his warmth, taking comfort from the way he held her even though she knew he was on the verge of getting angry, "you had stopped wanting to go anywhere with me, you would not talk about what was happening between us. All you wanted to do was make out, and if I was not in the mood you flirted twice as hard with the next girl you met."

Wheeler groaned, but instead of pulling her away he rested his head against hers, "Babe you've got it backwards... I wasn't getting impatient, I was trying to stop the arguments. I could feel you pulling away but when we kissed everything was ok for a while... but then you started to freeze me out anyway and, yeah ok maybe flirting was a dick move but it was the only way I had to get you to react, to get some kind of sign that you still cared."

"You could have talked to me." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"You didn't talk to me either," he began but she interrupted.

"I tried! You either distracted me or started an argument."

"Mostly you yelled, so when you got quiet and serious I thought you were gonna break up with me," He gave a half shrug, careful not to dislodge her. "but like you said, we were kids."

Linka pressed her lips together and nodded, turning her face into his shoulder.

They lay there in silence for a while listening to the night sounds, then Wheeler, perhaps needing to hear her voice, asked, "did you really not like the making out?"

A watery gurgle sounded from the region of his shoulder, "of course I liked it, durak. If I did not like it, it would never have worked as a distraction."

"That's a relief," one hand left her back to tenderly stroke her cheek, "that kinda thing can give a guy a complex."

He spoke in his usual joking manner but she could hear the worry behind it, not perhaps worry about whether she'd liked kissing him, but genuine concern for her now.

"I loved the time we spent together," she told him quietly, and lifted her hand from his chest to hold his against her face. "I love being with you like this now. I wish we could just stay like this, outside of time, no problems, no fighting, no fears or doubts just..."

"Just?" The fire planeteer prompted but she sighed and gave the smallest shake of her head.

Wheeler was looking into her eyes as if he was searching for an answer, and he apparently found one because he slowly bent his head over hers, getting closer until their lips were barely touching and then whispered, "Just love."

She left him in no doubt of her answer but after a few brief moments of happiness, reality seeped back in and she pulled away, sitting up and trying to recover her calm, "we are not thinking clearly, we are getting too caught up in old feelings and regrets."

"Regrets yeah, but I don't think its old feelings, at least it's not for me." He sat up, bringing his arms naturally around her and burying his face in her hair, "I won't kiss you again if you don't want me to, I'll even promise not to mention any of this again if it's the only way we can stay friends, but I'm not going to apologise for still being in love with you."

She gave a sob and he sighed, "I guess I'm just distracting you again, falling right back into those old patterns, I just thought you... I'm fooling myself, I'll go."

"Nyet," Linka turned and placed a hand on his arm, stopping him as he attempted to disengage from her, "you are not wrong, you are not reading this wrong."

His posture softened again, "I'm not? Does that mean you might want to go out with me again?"

She bit her bottom lip but couldn't entirely stop the smile that was creeping over her features and it made Wheeler grin and pull her fully back into his arms.

"Are we crazy?" She asked, wrapping her arms around him.

"Maybe, but this is the happiest I've been in years."

She raised her lips to his in a brief salute, "Me too."

Wheeler returned her kiss with a gentle passion, carrying her with him so that it was a couple of minutes before they could speak again. "I guess I'm not supposed to do that, huh?"

"Why?" she looked and sounded confused.

"Because I don't want you to feel pressured, I need you to be comfortable with me being here." He shrugged and as she didn't show any sign of pulling away, lay back down, taking her with him and pulling the covers up around them.

Linka chuckled, "Oh nyet, as long as we are talking to each other too you can kiss me whenever you want to… but not to shut me up."

"Deal." He sealed the agreement by doing just as she suggested, deepening the kiss as they slowly explored their new relationship.

It was late and they were both tired so instead of igniting the passion they both felt, the tender caresses eventually gave way to sleep, instinct providing the contact they needed as slumber took over, both too reluctant to simply stop and settle down for the night.

To be continued…