A/N: Set sometime after 7x10. I was honestly terrified when that buildup happened, and was totally convinced it was either baby or something really, really bad. Thankfully the writers at P&R aren't the worst.

Connected to my old favorite in the depression theory. Requested anonymously on tumblr.

When they go home, there's a dense air in the car. Andy wonders if it's his fault, or that maybe he said something wrong back at the studio, but he can't spend too long thinking about that. The only thing that's working in his mind is turning what April said over in his head again and again. It's mind-blowing that she felt like that - like she was taking something from him - so he drives with one hand and laces his into hers.

Andy thought that after all these years she wouldn't think like that anymore. He should have known better. He knows that whatever it was she dealt with, and April never liked to think about it too long let alone speak to a professional about it, just lie dormant. It waited to come back, right when she needed it least. Apparently whenever she worried about them, it came back roaring and just as agonizing.

She just smiles back at him, quietly, and the ride feels less oppressive. When they get back home, she tugs him down with their intertwined hands to kiss her if only for a few moments.

"I'm sorry," she says with a catch in her voice, both of them standing in the threshold of their front door.

"For what?" Andy gives a short laugh, confused.

"I dunno," she smiles a little and that honestly makes things better. "I just feel like I did something wrong tonight."

"That's stupid-"

"I just mean... you really do love that show, Andy," she slips her arms around his waist and hugs him while she continues, "and I feel like you wouldn't have to leave it if I wasn't here."

"I wouldn't have gone and done that show without you, babe," he shakes his head. "I told you that and I mean it. I actually wouldn't have done this without you to help, support me, and be there like the awesome person you are."

"Andy-"

"No, you're the best. You seriously are, April," Andy pulls her away so that they can find their way to the couch. Sitting down, April sprawls out along him, legs over his stomach. "I've said it for so long and I mean it all the time, every single time."

"Yeah, you always used to say it before we went out," she smiles a little and sits up with his arm as support on her back.

"I still do-"

"That was because you just wanted to go out with me, though, and now we're dumb married people and..." April trails off, staring down at her hand tapping her kneecap.

"I still think that, and I know it. You're the best-"

"Why?" April looks up at him, and her voice is doing that same weird thing and her face is looking all crumpled and sad. It's kind of the worst thing to see again - it's too familiar. "Why am I so great Andy? You're always... you helped me figure out something I love to do, when I wanted to go be a vet you didn't care about anything but it being my dream, and when I went to Washington you believed in me and made it work. You're always there for me and what have I ever done for you?"

Andy actually sits back and wonders how someone so smart, and amazing, can be this dense. He learned that word from Ben, and April was definitely being stupid. "Cookie, you've been all that stuff. You... you told me that I could do whatever I wanted, and when I went to London we made that work. You got me to go back to Johnny Karate, and to music, and you're always here."

Andy picks up her hand and takes it in his. She's looking away from him and her eyes are far too watery for anyone's good. He hates seeing her like this, and for so long she had been clear from it and from thinking like everything was useless and pointless.

It always comes back, that's what she said then. April, as always, was right.

"April, look at me," he says gently, and she does. April sniffs and wipes at her nose with her free hand, squeezing their clasped ones harder. "You've done so much for me, but that's not what matters. What matters is that I love you and you love me."

"I do; I do love you," she nods vigorously and sniffs again. "Andy, I really do, but it can't just be-"

"Can't just be what? That I don't care where we are, or what we're doing, as long as we're doing it together?" Andy doesn't know where he's coming up with some of these lines, but April needs to hear them. It's stuff that's buried in the back of his mind, back there where he always tries to work out the kinks and make them perfect like she deserves. "As long as you're happy, I'm happy. What makes you happy is in Washington, so that's where I'm going. With you, and it'll be us... and it'll be so, so awesome."

April looks down again, but this time he can see her lip tremble and she has to blink before looking back up at him. "Yeah, it's gonna be awesome," she says shakily and nods again. "I love you."

"Yeah, you too," he rubs her back the whole time, looking at her and smiling.

"I'm sorry for doing this again," she itches the bridge of her nose uncomfortably, like she's embarrassed about something. "I thought I was over it-"

"You told me you don't just stop thinking like that," he slows his hand down between her shoulder blades and speaks slowly, trying to be as comforting as possible. "You don't have anything to be sorry about, April. I told you I love you no matter what, no matter where or when or anything like that!"

"I know, and I believe you." April's voice is much more even now, making Andy's chest a little lighter. "I remember what you said back there, too..."

"You are what keeps me going. You're everything, April," he shrugs and scratches his moustache, fighting the wetness in his own eyes. "I dunno, but you're not taking anything away from me. Everything I need is right here."

He rubs her back more and then pulls her in to kiss him. April smiles against his lips and he can feel something fall onto his cheek, something wet and warm, and when he opens his eyes April's lip is quivering and she can't seem to close her mouth. Caught in a word, she's silent and crying.

Wrapping both of his arms around her, April snuggles closer to fit neatly into him. Smashed up like that, with his hand moving slowly up and down her arm and April shaking every few seconds - making Andy's eyes spill over once or twice, but he tried his best to keep it together so they didn't do this again - they sit for some immeasurable amount of time. Andy doesn't know the hour when he stands up and April takes his hand, walking back to the bedroom. He doesn't know how long it is before they're tired and sweaty, and April's eyes are dry again. After, when they're just snuggling together under the covers, Andy doesn't know how long it is before April turns away from him and pushes her back into him before falling asleep. He does know that he falls asleep only moments after she does, gripping her hand tight in his.