As soon as the door shuts, and the additional pair of footsteps can be heard, Fakir and I know we are absolutely screwed. My heart thuds and pounds as Samiel's voice can be heard through the walls, asking if Karon knows where Fakir is. Karon lies, though I assume more for his own sake than ours. Still, I thank him silently and plentifully for harboring us.
"It's imperative that we find him. This investigation is getting very serious, and I would hate to see you or him hurt. If he comes by, please send him to us." The scooting of a chair from under her squeaks throughout the house. Her footsteps are loud, the clacking of her heels feel deafening.
"I understand, Missus. I'll let you know if I see either of them. Thank you for stopping by." Karon stands as well, leading her to the door. The door squeaks on its hinges as it opens, and Samiel leaves. Both Fakir and I let out long breaths before hugging one another. It's pleasant to have someone who understands the pain of what I have to endure now. His fingers grip onto me for dear life, bringing me closer to his chest as I roll into his bed, snuggling him closely while avoiding his poor wounded hip. Fakir strokes my hair, kissing the top of my head.
The door opens to Fakir's room, and Karon stands in the doorway as Fakir still snuggles me to his chest. My eyelids feel heavy, though I hear snippets of their conversations through the steady beating of Fakir's heart. Something about us getting a move on, finding somewhere to stay for a while, something about it not being safe for us. Fakir agrees with him, though I somehow drift off before I know anything more.
It's hard to pinpoint a place in this dream. I'm both in the Academy's ballet hall and in Rue's aviary. The birds are… dancing ballet. They're dancing to an out of tune melody, a broken music box. Tiptoeing around and between some of the bird's pairings, I see the room become vaster, more spacious. I hear my stomach howl and beg for something. It's painful and aching, swollen, and uncomfortable. I shake the feeling away from my head, trying to push away that gnawing hunger. The music box isn't much further as I walk towards it, the dancing birds now making way for me. On a pedestal at the top of ivory stairs is the box, the small figures dancing together in constant rotation. The music becomes more and more distorted and off-key with every step I take up the stairs. As I make it to the top, finally reaching my hands out to hold the box to rewind it, I feel that stinging in my stomach again. That harsh gnawing that's eating me alive and breaking my spirit. It groans and bites, forcing me to double over in pain and grip onto my stomach. The cramping of my muscles is inscrutable, feeling more real than anything else. The music box rewinds itself, and the gnawing halts for a moment.
I reawake to the smell of eggs. Peering up, Fakir is already sitting straight in his bed, reading a book with no front title. I look up at him, my stomach rumbling greatly as I wince. He finally notices I'm awake, marking his page and stroking my hair.
"You're awake. Good, Karon brought you some food. It's not much, but it's enough to fill you up for a few hours." Fakir reaches behind me, placing a small metal plate on his lap, along with a fork. It has a small set of fried eggs on it, still steaming slightly. I rub the sleep from my eyes, sitting back in my chair as I thank him. Fakir hands me the plate as I begin eating slowly.
"What happened? How long have I been asleep?"
"Only about an hour. Karon is working currently, but he sent an urgent letter out to Mytho and Rue earlier, so hopefully we have somewhere to stay for the next few weeks. I hate imposing on them during their spring season, but we can't stay here." I slurp the last of the eggs down, having soothed my stomach enough for the gnawing to stop. I can see Fakir out of the corner of my eye internally calculating something. I pat his back, trying to be supportive, watching him smile and go back to calculating.
"How's your hip feeling?" I reach my hand out meekly, watching Fakir shrug.
"Like shit still. But it's not as bad as yesterday. I read a couple studies while you were sleeping, and they say I should be alright within ten days or so." He gently rubbed above the stitches, his fingers twitching as he brushed. "It's gonna be a pain to do any walking or sitting even after that, but I'll manage." His voice is surprisingly chipper as he speaks. He really is one of the strongest people I can imagine. Taking a gunshot to the leg and having it sutured completely without any anesthetics must've been brutal for him. His face is still slightly flushed of color, though the olive tones in his skin are starting to come back slowly.
We sit together in his room like this for a few days, reading books in silence and praying that no one comes by to check back with Karon. I peer out the window, meekly hoping the streets are empty. The weather is nicely overcast and a drizzle of rain pinged against the glass, though a familiar shadow roams near, the very presence making my stomach ache beyond belief. The fact that it's so close makes me want to throw up and cry.
Antoinette is wandering about the streets, her brother following with, talking to a large group. I recognize some faces as those that chased after Fakir and I the other day and my heart sinks. I pull my face back, staring at Fakir and shaking my head. He cocks his head.
"What's the matter?"
"She's out there." I watch his eyebrows and the bridge of his nose scrunch in disgust.
"What do you think they're doing?" Fakir wiggles towards the window, wincing at the sting of his side.
"I don't know, looking for us probably? Her and Samiel all seem to be buddy-buddy."
"Just keep calm then." Fakir sighs as he recedes back into his bed, laying down with another book already open. I stare at him for a long moment, watching the black strands fall loose over his eyes as he reads. My heart pounds, not in admiration or care, but in a nervous flutter. I can't just keep calm with them roaming the streets. I slink back down into my seat, feeling the distressful pain in my gut again.
The pang lingers until I finally snuggle into Fakir's bed, curled up into his side as the day lingers on. In his arms, I read passages from his book. It's something about childhood trauma again.
"Um… Fakir?"
"Hm?"
"Why do you always read books like this?" I gently wiggle a corner of the hard cover.
"It fascinates me, if I'm honest. It's an insight into the human condition and how we shape young people from the way we're raised." He turns another page.
"Do you think I'm traumatized?" He pauses a second before slipping his bookmark into the crease.
"I wouldn't be surprised if you were. I'd be more surprised if you weren't. You seem to have very common symptoms of Posttraumatic Stress." He strokes my hair as I'm in his arms. "You disassociate very regularly when things get too stressful, you seem to have specific triggers, along with waking nightmares." My throat tightens. There's something different about hearing it. I know I've had those things happen, I know they're probably not normal, but hearing him say that I'm traumatized is different.
"You know I have issues with that as well, right?" Fakir presses his lips to the top of my hair. I look up at him.
"Do you?"
"I get nightmares and I get very hostile and aggressive when I'm triggered." I think about his words for a long moment. It makes sense; he's been traumatized by things too. He's been through a lot, just like I have. I nod my head.
"It's hard."
"It is, but I'll help you learn how to slowly get better. We'll learn together." Fakir kisses the top of my head and turns back to his book. I feel one arm wrap underneath me. I snuggle into him, cuddling closely, my chest feeling hot. I feel the beating of my heart in there, quickening in pace.
It's another few days of isolation, only speaking to each other and Karon until we finally receive word and instructions from Rue. Seven long days of self isolation felt like forever, but her kindness was welcome. It was late in the evening when she arrived to gather us. Fakir and Karon hugged and said their goodbyes. I thanked him for his kindness as I climbed into that cramped carriage. My hands are slick with sweat as I help Fakir in beside me. Rue looks about outside making sure no one is following us, before we set off back towards her house. The night air peels past my skin as we start off.
I can't shake the uneasiness from my stomach as we continue. Something feels so wrong. I don't say anything, letting Fakir explain the situation to Rue, catching her up to speed. I feel her hands comb through my hair, though my tired mind and eyes don't acknowledge her presence. I don't think she particularly minds though, as her and Fakir continue their conversation, trying to lighten their own moods. Leaning my head on Fakir's shoulder, I attempt to drift off. While my eyes are closed, I can't manage to fall asleep. Something is definitely hurting in the pit of my stomach. Something deep, pushing against me.
The sickness doesn't wash away, worsening as we hit bumps and craters. Something doesn't feel right at all. I peek out the window for a second, catching a glimpse of… A person. A human following behind us about 60 feet. In the dark of night, I can't make out much, instead pulling my head back inside.
"We have to speed up," I groan. Rue quirks and eyebrow.
"But you said you don't feel well."
"Something is following us. We have to speed up or else they'll gain on us." I groan a bit louder, pressing my heavy head into Fakir's shoulder. Rue glances outside and confirms my previous deduction, knocking on the drivers window and asking him to speed further. I can't hear much after Fakir starts to stroke my hair.
"You have a fever." His hand is pressed to my forehead as he says this.
"I'll be fine. We just need to get to the house and then I'll rest." My hands tingle as I snuggle closer to him. The freezing heat that washes over me is painful. I can't explain it. It's unlike any sort of sickness I've had previous. My hands shake fervently as my head throbs. The list of possible ailments runs through my head. Flu, tumors, parasites. Something nasty is brewing inside me and needs to get out quick. Rue finally addresses me entirely.
"You two seemed fine a couple weeks ago. Has the Headmistress really gotten that bad?" Rue pulls the hair from my face and I smile, still woozy.
"She's been like this a while. They can't do anything if someone has enough money. They think that silence can be bought." Fakir grips his unbroken leg tightly. "Samiel didn't know anything about Victor, but Wayland and Antoinette apparently were close to him. Something about their families running in the same businesses. I didn't care much to understand the dynamics they had with each other. They're all bastards, as far as I care. They were pimping out underage girls and students who don't succeed in class very well. Predators, that's all they were."
The carriage stops and Rue begins unloading us into the house. I carry Fakir as best I can into the room we shared before upstairs. I fall asleep before he does, still dressed in his pajamas. Still, before I fully drift, I wonder who that person could have been.