So as of ep 3.07 this fic now goes from slight-au to wishful-thinking au. I'm heartbroken. ):

Thank you to everyone who's left a lovely comment, and I hope that you continue to enjoy the story!

Note- sadly my chapter naming system doesn't work on (naming them after the pov character) so we've switched to roman numerals and a letter to indicate who's narrating. Sorry for any confusion!

Warnings: none this chapter! Maybe some cuteness overload from the Blake sibs.

"You look like shit," Octavia whispered from her bed. Her voice was hoarse from coughing, and she was as pale as she'd been back on the arc when she'd had to live under the floor and never got any UV light. It scared Bellamy to see her like this. He was used to the bronze summer glow of her skin.

"We can't both be beautiful," Bellamy smiled weakly, to avoid jarring his nose, "wouldn't be fair to everyone else."

Octavia smiled briefly, and that was as good as her laughing. She turned away from him to cough into her arm. Bellamy pressed the cold rag to his nose again. It was finally no longer so tender he couldn't touch it, though it still smarted if he pressed too hard. The cloth was stained with all of the blood that Bellamy was half-heartedly wiping off his face. Abby said that once the swelling went down he might be a little bruised, but otherwise his nose would be fine. He'd have to drop by medical every morning to keep an eye on his concussion though, but the Chancellor was confident that it wouldn't be much of an issue save for some headaches he was probably going to be suffering. Bellamy could handle headaches.

Octavia rolled back to face him and he handed her a cup of water.

"Thanks," she said, "and don't kid me. You're totally beautiful. Me, on the other hand…"

She made a weak gesture to herself. Pale and sweaty, with glossy eyes, matted hair and a nose so red it almost glowed.

"You," Bellamy gripped her hand so she'd look at him, because he meant it every time he said it, "are the most beautiful person I've ever known. No matter what."

"You're biased," Octavia smiled again. Her cheeks flared red with blush and she pulled her blanket up to her nose, "I think most people would disagree. Right now."

"Lincoln," Bellamy called. Octavia reached out to slap at his knee as Lincoln looked up from where he was pouring tea for an older man, "who's the most beautiful girl in the world?"

"Clarke!" Octavia shouted in shock, sitting up, startling both Bellamy and the woman who had been sleeping on a bed nearby.

Clarke had just walked into the hut, and her face lit up at the sound of Octavia's voice. She made a direct line for them. A few of the sick around them struggled to sit up to see if it truly was the Clarke Griffin returned.

Clarke stopped just short of Octavia's bed, and suddenly looked nervous.

"Hi Octavia," she said softly, "how… it's good to see you."

"You're alive?" Octavia gasped, and she turned to glare at Bellamy, "why didn't you tell me?"

Bellamy held up his hands, palms out, "I was about to, but you're too chatty, O. It's hard to hear myself think."

Octavia held out her arms for a hug, "Clarke, come here, I can't get up."

Clarke still looked apprehensive, "Are… are you sure?"

"Shut up and let me hug you," Octavia snapped. Clarke moved forwards, but had to pause to let Octavia have another coughing spell. Bellamy handed her another cup of water to sip when she was done.

Octavia held Clarke as tightly as she could, and Clarke squeezed her but was careful to be gentle. This close she could probably hear how Octavia's lungs rattled every time she breathed, and how her breath was wheezy.

"It's really good to see you," Clarke said. She was blinking back tears. Bellamy wondered why.

"Where have you been? What kept you so long?" Octavia asked.

Clarke shrugged, "I… well, a bit of everywhere. I just kept walking, until one day my head felt clear and I knew it was time to come home."

Octavia's brow furrowed, "You were alone?"

Clarke nodded, "Yeah."

Bellamy recognized the signs of anger on his sister, and knew he had to let it run its course. While she occasionally listened to him, Bellamy knew how to pick his battles.

"Why didn't you come back? Why did you leave us? We all thought you were hurt—or worse—or someone was holding you hostage? Clarke, we needed you!" Octavia's voice was rising and a few people around them lifted their weary heads to watch what was happening.

"I… I'm sorry," Clarke said softly. She looked stunned. Bellamy figured he'd be pretty upset if he was someone used to compliments and friendly greetings, to be suddenly getting the opposite. Not that Clarke was conceited in that way, he knew better, but sometimes little bits of her high class upbringing showed through and Bellamy felt, very deep down, a little bit of pleasure that she was experiencing the other side of the spectrum.

"Hey, O," Bellamy put a firm hand on her shoulder, "get healthy and then you can do this, okay? While you're bedridden you're forbidden from fighting."

"You can't enforce that," Octavia grumbled, but she let him manhandle her back into her bed. Bellamy tucked her blanket around her shoulders to make sure she stayed warm.

"I know of a few herbs that will make your tongue swell," Lincoln said as he approached.

Clarke turned to greet him, and threw her arms around his neck. He awkwardly patted her back. She'd probably forgotten how he and his people didn't do these sorts of public displays of affection, except for with Octavia. Clarke pulled back sheepishly, but Lincoln was smiling at her anyways.

"You couldn't make me eat them," Octavia growled. She was mumbling, and probably falling asleep again. Despite appearances she was in-and-out of sleep lately, "I'd fight you."

"I'd sit on you until you admitted defeat," Lincoln said fondly. He moved past Clarke and brushed strands of Octavia's hair out of her face. Her braids were messy and looked like they needed to be re-done. If she was still awake later, Bellamy would come back and do them for her. Octavia smiled as Lincoln kissed her brow.

"Don't worry, we'll get that medicine soon," Bellamy assured his sister, "just tough it out a little longer."

"A little longer and I'll be on the mend," Octavia snorted. Bellamy hoped that was true.

Bellamy caught Clarke's gaze and nodded to outside the hut. She followed without another word. Both of them stopped to wash their hands with the hot water kept by the door.

"I didn't realize it was that bad," Clarke said, keeping her voice low so no one would hear her.

Bellamy's stomach lurched, "Is it that bad?" he asked.

Clarke nodded, "There's more people sick than I thought, and even though you said she was sick, I didn't expect her to be…"

"So weak?" Bellamy offered.

Clarke met his gaze, and Bellamy hoped she couldn't tell how scared he was. He'd never seen Octavia this sick before. People were dying from this flu.

"We need the medicine. Mt Weather will have it for sure," Clarke said instead, "and then we can give everyone a fighting chance. Octavia's one of the strongest fighters I know."

Dinner was calm. Clarke and her mother had continued their hugging and, on Abby's part, crying. Some other people joined in, and at one point Clarke had a small group of people gathered around to hear about her adventures alone.

Bellamy was interested in joining, but figured he'd hear enough of the stories in the next few days. Besides, if there was anything interesting Clarke would tell him herself. There was a peace to her that hadn't been there before she'd left. Bellamy was glad she'd found whatever she was looking for. He looked forwards to working with her and being able to bounce ideas off of her again.

He was grateful she was safe, and that she'd come back. Part of him had hoped that she'd bring an answer with her—a solution to their problems because that's what Clarke did best. That had been wishful thinking. He had the Commander to worry about now, and needed to figure out why Lexa would be trying to keep them from the mountain. And how to convince her to let them in. Or maybe he could put together a small strike unit to get in undetected. There still had to be plenty of hidden entrances to Mt Weather. He and Lincoln might be able to go in the cover of darkness. If anything happened to him, at least the Arc would have Abby, Kane and Clarke.

"I can't believe she came back," Bellamy heard in a hushed whisper behind him. It belonged to a middle-aged woman who used to smile sadly at Bellamy while he was working as a janitor. As if she couldn't imagine a worse fate than sanitation crew.

"That's some nerve, coming in and thinking she can just be leader again," her partner, a woman with short black hair who never looked Bellamy in the eyes, even when handing him their trash, said. Both of them had no problem looking at Bellamy now, eyes filled with awe and wonder. Bellamy didn't say anything. People were always going to talk about any major event. It was true, part of what they were saying. Clarke had left them when they really needed her, but Bellamy understood why she'd left. Their anger would blow over eventually.

Raven wasn't sitting with the group around Clarke, and though Monty was sitting by Clarke's side, Jasper was staying with Raven. The far-away, haunted look had come back to Jasper's face. He was probably reliving Maya's death, even though he'd supposedly put it behind him weeks ago.

Surviving was difficult, Bellamy reasoned. They had to put a lot of things behind them. Things no normal people would even think of getting over, if they wanted to live to see tomorrow.

Bellamy wasn't feeling especially hungry. He'd lost two men today, and his sister was still sick. He ended up leaving the main fire early to go back to the sick hut.

Octavia was drinking a foul-smelling tea. She looked more alert than she had been before.

"Hey good looking," Bellamy greeted.

She rolled her eyes as he pulled up his chair beside her bed, "Stop it."

Bellamy decided not to tease her and changed topics, "Is that dinner?" he gestured to the tea.

"Yeah," she grimaced, "but it makes my throat feel better. And my head. I can actually breathe through my nose right now—no, woops, not anymore," she sighed dejectedly, "thank god, or whoever, for Lincoln. I'd probably be dead without him."

Bellamy's heart skipped a beat when he thought she was talking about the flu only. But he realized she meant since they had encountered him.

"Yeah," he said, keeping his voice from shaking at the thought of losing her, "he really cares about you."

Octavia bit her lip and glanced around, checking on who was listening. Bellamy had just seen Lincoln getting food, so he wasn't in the hut.

"Bell," Octavia said conspiratorially, "I love him."

"I'm happy for you," Bellamy had already known this was the case, but it still made him smile to think about his sister being this happy.

"No, you don't…" she glanced over her shoulder again, "I want to marry him."

Bellamy's eyes went wide and he was pretty sure his eyebrows hit his hairline.

"What?" he asked, adopting the same secretive whisper she had, "are you serious? O, that… that's amazing! Are you sure?"

She was almost glowing, grinning ear to ear.

"Yeah," she admitted, "I… I honestly can't imagine anyone else who could possibly make me feel the way he does. Do you think the Chancellor would let us—because he's… and I'm…"

"I'd make sure your request was approved," Bellamy assured her, "but are you sure? That's a huge decision, O. Are you prepared for that kind of commitment?"

Octavia nodded, "I want to be able to call Lincoln my husband and I want everyone else to finally know just what he means to me. I want people to look at you, me and Lincoln and be jealous of our family."

Bellamy's throat was tight with emotion. People spent their entire lives on the arc hoping that they might one day find someone they loved enough to marry for the rest of their lives. Who would have thought that a little girl from the poorest district, an illegal child, would have beaten the odds and was ready to commit her life to love. He was just lucky to have known her.

"First marriage on earth," Bellamy said, "of the people from the Arc, at least."

"First marriage between Skaikru and Trikru," Octavia reminded him. She studied his face and burst into giggles, "you look like I told you I won a thousand ration points. What are you thinking?"

Bellamy tried to shake the dopey grin off his face, but he couldn't help himself, "I'm just thinking about where we started, and how far we've come. How far you've come. People lived their whole lives on the arc wanting to get married, but never finding anyone they loved enough. And here you are, my baby sister, and I believe you when you say you're in love."

Octavia wiped away some tears from her eyes and pretended she was just brushing her bangs out of her face, "You're such a sap."

Bellamy reached out for her hair, "Can I help with that? I've got time."

"And a great catch," Octavia said with a grin. She wordlessly shifted so Bellamy could reach her hair easier, "I'm sure there's someone out there who won't believe their luck when they fall in love with you."

Bellamy was busy detangling her braids with his fingers, taking care to be gentle, "You're quite optimistic, but I don't know if marriage will ever happen for someone like me."

Like anyone, Bellamy had grown up with grand stories about love and as a child he'd imagined that he would have a huge wedding. The love of his life would be the most stunning person he'd ever met, and they would be happy for the rest of their lives. After Octavia had been born his dreams had shifted to standing by his sister as she, against all odds, was married. His happiness never changed, and if anything, he was happier this way. There was no way Bellamy could truly love anyone else while his sister existed. There just wasn't any chance he could love someone as much as his sister, and he only loved her more every day.

"Don't be such a downer. You're a great guy," Octavia reminded him, "but I get the final vote on whether they're good enough for you."

"Deal," Bellamy agreed, "now, do you want your braids the same, or should I try something different? Maybe something that will be comfier to sleep on?"

It was dark by the time Octavia was asleep and Bellamy was able to force himself to leave her. It was hard to tell time based on sunlight anymore. Days were getting increasingly shorter, and colder. His breath clouded his vision as he washed his hands. The camp was still active, though more fires and torches were burning to increase visibility.

Octavia's secret was a warm presence in Bellamy's chest. He knew it was cold, but the chill couldn't quite reach him. His own sister, getting married. There hadn't been a marriage on the Arc in at least three years. Bellamy wondered briefly if grounders got married, or if they treated marriage the same way the people on the Arc did. That was something he should check with Octavia, so that she and Lincoln both knew what they were getting into. Maybe grounders didn't marry for life? Stranger things had happened.

His mood fell when he came closer to the fire and saw Clarke defending herself against a small but vocal crowd of people. If she didn't engage it would blow over faster, but he knew better than to hope for Clarke to always do the smart thing.

"Hey," Bellamy called as he jogged over. No one had heard him, so he repeated himself louder. The crowd fell into a respectful silence in his presence.

"Clarke's one of us," he reminded them, "and she's here to help. She's gone above and beyond for all of us, and kept most of us alive."

"She left us!" someone called from the back of the group.

"The council sent 100 of us here to die," Bellamy crossed his arms across his chest, "and you don't see us trying to mob them. We accept the past and move on."

That seemed to do the job, and the crowd split into smaller groups. Someone spat at Clarke's feet, but Bellamy knew it would only antagonize them if he went after them for that. It would work itself out in time, as long as he made sure no one got physically aggressive about their opinions.

"Thank you," Clarke said behind him. She didn't sound relieved like he'd expected. She sounded meek, and on the verge of tears.

Bellamy turned around quickly, unsure of what he was going to find. Clarke was playing with the long braid she'd tied her hair into. From his extensive knowledge of Octavia, Bellamy knew this was a sign that she was really uncomfortable.

"Why are people so angry at me?" she asked nervously, glancing around.

Bellamy let out a long breath. He tried to pick his words so that he didn't come across as a jerk, "The first week that you left, I couldn't stop looking for you wherever we were. I kept a bag packed, and supplies ready and every morning I thought 'this is it. This is the day I follow after you' but I never did."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I had a job to do. Our people needed me. They were hurting, scared and recovering. They needed someone to lead them. And as much as I wanted to run away too, I had a responsibility to put them first."

"I didn't run… it was never about abandoning them. I have done everything for them!" Clarke argued.

"I know," Bellamy nodded, "I know what we've done. But the difference between you and me is that I stayed."

"That's not fair," Clarke frowned, "I couldn't… you didn't have to—"

"Give it time, they'll get over it," Bellamy explained, "I don't know if either of us did the right thing, but we made our choices. The right thing now is to put that behind you, and do the best you can."

"Bellamy," Kane's voice interrupted them, "we need to talk about the Commander."

Bellamy looked away from Clarke, "Alright, I'll be ready in a few minutes."

"I'll get Abby," Kane said, and paused, "Clarke… it's good to have you home."

"Lexa is reasonable," Clarke explained instead of answering, sounding more like herself. She seemed to light up inside, in a way Bellamy hadn't seen since he'd first seen her that morning: staring down her enemy and protecting her friends, "and she doesn't have any emotional attachment to her decisions. It makes her untrustworthy but it can also work to our favor. You can treat this negotiation like it's a brand new—"

"Clarke," Kane said softly. He paused to think, and Bellamy knew what he was going to say before he spoke, "I… you just got back. Maybe you should go rest."

He couldn't meet her eyes as what he was saying dawned on her.

While Bellamy did respect Clarke's opinion, and knew she was more than capable to lead, she hadn't been around for months. Things changed. She didn't know the whole story, and she needed time to get familiar with the dynamics again. She was also the one who had trusted Lexa, and been blindsided by her betrayal. Clarke had led them through a great and terrible war, and Bellamy was now trying to guide them into peace. Clarke would be a benefit, but with lots of their people angry at her it wasn't a good idea to just welcome her back into leadership so suddenly. It was stupid, but it was how they had to maintain peace in the camp.

"You're right," Clarke replied, but he could hear how angry she was, "if you need any insight or advice, you know where I'm staying."

Kane nodded, guilty, and left to go find Abby.

Bellamy watched Clarke walk away. He'd get Abby to talk to her after they were done and see if she had any further advice.

The echo of hoofbeats alerted them to the riders, just moments before they cleared the trees. The sound danced around in Bellamy's head, aggravating the headache he'd woken up with. Two men on horseback, covered in furs that made them twice their actual size, galloped down the road that led to Camp Jaha. Bellamy realized that they must all be switching to winter clothing. The riders had brought a third horse with them.

They waited outside the camp without speaking. Bellamy thought he might recognize them from Lexa's guard, but he hadn't spent enough time among them to know better.

He, Abby and Kane had been up half the night trying to come up with all sorts of arguments they could use against Lexa, and to try and determine why she wanted to keep them out of the mountain so badly. Abby was sure that Lexa wanted to let them all die slowly, while Kane was hopeful that it was merely a show of power. Clarke hadn't had any more helpful advice. Bellamy had met her in the weak light of dawn in Abby's home, where no one would know he was asking her for advice. Her disdain for Lexa was obvious, but she was doing a good job of trying to hide her bias like the rest of them.

Bellamy and Kane were the only two to leave the gates to greet the riders. Bellamy trusted Kane in a fight, but also to keep his head and not do anything drastic to start a fight. Abby was too much like her daughter, and spoke her mind or made ultimatums that they had to keep. It made them good leaders, but they also made Bellamy nervous in dangerous situations like this. He wished he could take Clarke with him, but with Clarke and Lexa's history he wasn't sure if he could trust Clarke to not let her emotions get the best of her.

"Where's the Commander?" Bellamy called out to the riders, "why won't she show her face?"

"The Commander sends a horse. Our camp is a short ride from here. She welcomes the Leader of Skaikru for peaceful negotiations, and your Leader shall be returned tonight," one of the men answered.

"How can we trust her?" Bellamy replied, "two of our people were killed yesterday. We didn't even know we were fighting."

"The Commander has said that your Leader will understand. And that she is open to negotiating a blood price for the lives lost with the Leader."

That was good, at least. Maybe Lexa's people had acted out of line. Bellamy was prepared to walk into the grounder camp alone if it would mean getting medicine for his sister. So long as she didn't know where he was going.

"Where is your Leader? Is she prepared to leave?"

That caught Bellamy by surprise. Were they talking about Abby?

"She?" Kane inquired.

"Heda awaits Klark kom Skaikru. Where is Wanheda?" the rider asked.

There was no way the people gathered at the gates hadn't heard that. Lexa, and subsequently her people, still thought Clarke was in charge. They obviously hadn't known she'd left them for months.

"She's tending to our sick," Bellamy replied before anyone could say anything, "will you give us a few minutes to get her ready?"

"I'm ready," Clarke announced behind him. Bellamy closed his eyes and counted to three before he turned around. The Griffin women needed to stop interfering where they weren't needed.

"No," Bellamy told her, and nodded to the side. Clarke starred him down stubbornly and Bellamy had to persuade her to step aside with him, with a firm grip on her wrist.

"Just a moment," Kane said to the riders behind him, "we had planned on sending Bellamy as our envoy, not Clarke. Will that be okay?"

"The Commander sent this horse for Wanheda. Wanheda is who shall ride with us," the rider replied.

"What are you doing?" Bellamy hissed.

"Helping," Clarke insisted. Abby was running out to join their emergency meeting. Great. Now they were creating a spectacle in front of everyone. So much for looking like a united front.

"You're not," Bellamy informed her, "now think of a nice way to turn this down so I can talk to Lexa instead."

"Lexa requested me," Clarke insisted, "I have to go. Otherwise she'll be insulted and won't listen to us at all."

"We can't just be at her mercy," Abby said, "we should send Bellamy instead, to prove that we don't obey her."

And because Clarke only just came back, Bellamy thought to himself, Abby wasn't going to let Clarke run off this quickly. Good. At least she'd back him up.

"But we do," Kane reminded her, "in this moment we need Lexa to grant us permission to enter Mt Weather. Clarke's right, if we start off by insulting her then she has no reason to listen to us. Plus this is a good sign."

They all, Clarke included, gave Kane surprised looks.

Kane seemed surprised that none of them were following his thought, "If they still think Clarke is our leader, it means they haven't been watching us. They would have noticed she was gone. This means that Lexa doesn't want to treat us like the enemy. We should send Clarke."

"No," Bellamy said sternly, "what do you think our people are going to say if we send Clarke as our leader? They're angry enough with her already."

"Screw them," Clarke snapped, "I'm doing this to help them. They'll understand. Besides, Bellamy, do you really want to put the wrong foot forwards when it's your sister who needs the medicine?"

Bellamy saw red for a moment. He considered punching Clarke right then and there. How dare she use his sister as leverage against him.

"I know how to handle Lexa," Clarke pressed, talking right to him and ignoring the adults, "I can read her. I know how she'll respond to things, and I know I can make her agree to let us into the mountain."

Bellamy honestly didn't know Lexa well enough, or had spent much time with her to be confident in his abilities next to Clarke's, "She did betray you, and you didn't see that coming."

"She made that decision on the battlefield, in the only time she wasn't with me," Clarke explained, "it wasn't an attack on us, even though it seemed like it. It was just the most logical way for her to get her people out without losing any more. She'll be expecting us to be angry, and she'll play us."

"Aren't you angry?" Abby asked.

Clarke nodded, "I hate her, but that doesn't have anything to do with getting our people healthy," she looked Bellamy in the eyes, "please, let me go. I'll get it done. I promise." He could feel himself losing the argument already.

Abby shook her head, "I don't think it's a good idea. Clarke you just came home, I don't want you to leave so soon."

Kane nodded, "Abby has a good point. There's bad history between you and Lexa, Clarke."

Bellamy held Clarke's gaze, "You promise?" It would look like an insult, to his people, that someone who had just come home after months away was being treated like their leader. Bellamy could keep tempers controlled on his end while Clarke handled the dangerous political game Lexa would be playing. She was better than him at that. It might be selfish, to send someone in his place, but he was a little relieved at the thought of not leaving Octavia. His sister came before everything.

"I'll get it done. What were your negotiation points?" Clarke looked determined. Bellamy knew this look had brought down mountains. He'd been there to witness it. Abby and Kane's opinions were irrelevant now. He knew Clarke would bring their people to safety.

Bellamy nodded his approval. Abby let out a defeated hiss, but thankfully didn't argue. Clarke nodded decisively and started walking to the riders, but Bellamy caught her arm as she passed him.

"I know what she did to us," he said quietly, "but you have to promise me that you won't kill her."

"Nothing would make me happier," Clarke admitted, "but I know what's at stake. She's heartless… but I'll let her live. This time."

End Notes: Sorry to be a tease, but I promise you we'll see Lexa next chapter! Long live the Commander! (sobs)