A/N: Requested anonymously on my tumblr ( anotheropti) as, essentially, "April basically being a mama bear."
I am very, very, very, very on board with this idea! There's some minor stuff about the children from my big family headcanon in here but I all the way intend to write chapters separately for each of the kids so we get better characterizations of them! That's probably what I'll start on next week!
As a parent, April's learned a few things that, otherwise, she likely would have never picked up. The first was ease of mind, and it only came after years and years of dealing with tiny little babies that could get hurt at any time from just about anything in the house all the way from a speck of dust in the air, to their three-legged and always curious best friend, up to their father who, in his own lovable excitement, just wanted to hold them all the time. Thankfully, Andy was a natural at holding children which was, probably, due to his gaggle of nieces and nephews and the general aura about him that screamed "giant kid." That was partially April's fault anyways, but whatever they loved being childish together. Now they had an excuse. Or, really, five excuses.
Again, April learned patience. She wasn't naturally great at that, and often wanted everything to speed up ten or twelve times just so she could get done with it - a little break at a coffee shop, having chitchat with officemates she wanted to ply with a knife or icepick - and children were no different. They took forever to learn how to talk, though really it wasn't that long, and they always wanted to eat, and after so many, April started to wonder if the whole breastfeeding thing was a bad idea but each one of them told her differently; and that she'd never regret that. Kids wanted toys and to watch TV and eat all of their food, and to be everything a little tedious and tiresome and all of that, but they're kids. April was a kid that wanted toys, and she wanted to watch TV, and she definitely ate all her parents' food, and same with Andy, so she calms her own stupid brain from getting angry at those things.
As they grew up, April learned something else, or rather she learned how to interpret what she already was and had through the eyes of these burgeoning people that were also her babies: pride and defense.
Pride, she knew easily. April had an amazing husband who was also the best friend in the world, was great at a job she truthfully cared about, and she knew people like Leslie freaking Knope. There was plenty in her life to be proud about, but kids were a whole new sphere of understanding that concept. When she watched Jack dangling tall with Andy holding him up by his miniscule fists, smiling at him and urging her son on, she didn't rightly understand that first emotion when he walked to her. Then when he said his first word, of course some mangling of "dad" but that was expected, and when she gave birth to their first daughter, and the light in Andy's eyes, and the children that followed; and their firsts, walks and talks and friends and everything, April knew what it was. She was proud. These were her kids and, though she knew it and loved them with all her heart, it doesn't quite sink in until something you do shapes who they are to become. Even something as small, and yet huge, as their first steps make her smile and laugh and pick them up, loving the sounds of their giggles at seeing their mother shine brightly at and for them, could bring that out.
Then when they grew up, and took their own paths April was struck by a certain sadness that felt more like being slowly ground down by a pestle but it was just the natural extension of what she wanted them to see in their family. It was a place to be themselves, much like April wanted her own family to be. They could talk about whatever they wanted with her, and with Andy of course but they seemed to come to her with the more serious matters. Robbie's near panic attack at explaining to her that she was gay was only met with a hug and the first thing that came out of April's mouth was how proud she was of her daughter for being who she wanted to be, and, yeah, Andy found them in a cuddling, crying mess but it was okay because it felt great to be that close to her daughter.
When Jack was the regular All-American football jock, who dearly loved his sisters so much that he even convinced her to get a cat just because it would make Sam happy, it just made sense. Not in the way that April could have set that out clearly as his future, and tried to mold him into it, but that it made sense to her because he so clearly loved it. He loved the sense of excitement in the small crowd of his peers, and how people seemed to like him and talk to him, and that his dad was so invested in what he loved already. Sure, April caught as many games as she could and cheered as loudly as the rest of them but that was more because of Jack than her love for the sport.
Then April learned defense, or how to protect her children. Sometimes, it wasn't even to protect. Sometimes it was because people were awful, and they needed telling off.
"Your daughters need to grow up," the vice principal of their district's high school told her one day at a conference. Victoria had gotten into a shouting match with her history teacher because they refused to acknowledge Eddie. "They need to learn when someone in a position of authority is in control and they should quiet down."
"Uh huh," April nodded, trying to pretend she cared what this person had to say about something they were obviously unfit to be doing. "Tell me why you called me in here."
"Because your daughter refused to answer a direct question, and it's been happening more and more, and her sister-"
"Son and his sister, thanks," April reminded him once more. She's started to get really annoyed with how dense people are around here. Leslie, the mother of stubborn resistance, responded to this better than the horrible, stout man in front of her.
Then again Leslie threw a transitioning party for him, replete with fliers declaring April and Andy's son to the world and a cake and the biggest hugs in the world from everyone they knew. He really couldn't be happier, and April could tell because just like Robbie that first talk seemed to be a mess of nerves. Then April learned that he'd asked Robbie how she talked about it, and apparently her answer was to just be himself.
Again, pride.
"Yes, about that... it says clearly on the forms we've received that your children are both female-"
"Well, as of right now one of them is male and I'd expect a school like yours to actually respect my child's decision," April answered back with a bite in her words, harsh but technical. "You don't go around calling yourself a woman, do you? You don't call the dumb lady that got mad at Victoria for defending her brother a man, do you? Don't call my son a girl."
"Ma'am, you've gotta understand-"
"Ugh, I'm not a thousand years old don't call me ma'am," April sighed. "Seriously? You seriously want to do this?"
The graying man shook his head and scoffed. He looked down at the papers in his hands and then back up, "You know, this school's crumbling around us. We're poor, the kids keep getting dumber because of people like you that let them do whatever they want. You're going to let someone create an abomination of themselves and I should have expected it. Last time we talked you said you were busy with your husband-"
"As a zombie yes," April nodded, stoic in determination to let him finish so she can let this broiling fury in her chest loose upon him.
Then she had an ingenious plan to both make herself calm throughout the ordeal and to get back at this man. Seriously, with every word she could feel herself getting angrier. He'd say something about how her son is an abomination - what a load of shit you Bible thumper, he literally goes to church with your nephew - and April would exhale in annoyance, and she'd need to take a long walk by herself after how frustrating this stuff is, but the real kicker happens a few rambles after his original one.
"With parents like you I'm not surprised all of your kids are fucked up," he finally growled. The moment it left his lips his eyes widened as if he'd understood his own mistake, but he didn't say a word to apologize.
"Really? You really wanna... okay, fine then. Maybe I am weird. Hell, I am weird," April shrugged. She'd try her hardest not to take the scissors on this man's desk and drive them through his neck, though she probably couldn't be blamed with the absolutely horrible things he was saying. "I'm weird, but my kids aren't. You think they're weird because they're children who know who they want to be and you're afraid of that. So, you can call my son Eddie or I can take him out of school. Social workers will ask why I did it. They'll wanna know why I took my kids away from school, and I'll just show them this recording-" April pulled her phone out of her pocket. The only thing that kept her sane throughout this entire exchange was recording his hate speech, "and I can do all kinds of terrible, disgusting legal things to you for insulting my child to my face. The kind of stuff that will sap every penny from you, and will make my abominations so much happier because then I can afford the things they want. Or, more likely, I could take that pair of scissors on your desk and kill you now on the spot because you're fucking horrid."
With that, April stood up and put her phone away. She gave him a nod and opened the door to his office without another word.
April learned how to defend her children without them needing to see it. And, really, she liked that quite a lot. Partly because no one says an even potentially sour word about her offspring, the whole horde of devils they're slowly growing into, and partly because in her day job she doesn't really get to be that mean or vindictive towards anyone anymore. When she got home, no one would know that she just threatened the life of their vice principal and, really, did that matter? She didn't need them to recognize it, but she did need them to go to school assuming it would be a safe place for them and, after hearing about how he had a talk with the VP and their private talk with all of his teachers, April knew she was right to do it.