Sarah explained to Commander Shaw the minimum details of why she and Zoey were going to skip out on training that morning. Though Commander Shaw was curious, her respect for Zoey's privacy too precedence. She trusted that Sarah and Zoey would have a good reason for missing team training and let them have the morning for themselves. When Sarah returned to the hangout, she set up her computer and opened the video chat. The time difference meant she was likely waking up Serena, but Sarah knew this was important.
Fortunately, when Serena answered, it seemed she was already up and getting ready for work. After explaining why, she had called, Serena was more than happy to help, as she sat and talked with Zoey about what had happened.
Zoey tried to be as honest as she could, but it was intimidating. She had never shared these feelings before and since she never thought much of them, she didn't think there was anything to them.
Serena thought differently.
"I'm not a doctor," she reminded Zoey. "I don't have a degree and I'm not finished my studies, so this isn't a professional or medical opinion. Do you understand?"
"Yeah," Zoey nodded. She knew that though Serena didn't have the credentials, she had been able to help Sarah with her anxieties and seemed to have a knack for helping people improve.
"Okay. That being said… you check a lot of the boxes for anxiety. The fear, the sense of doom or dread, feeling sick, shaking, faint, heart racing, sweating… that's definitely anxiety."
"So that's not normal?"
"In some situations, it is," Serena said. "You've had a Ranger battle at this point, so you've probably had those same symptoms while fighting, or even beforehand. That's normal. In fact, if you didn't have some anxiety when fighting a monster, I'd be worried. The problem is attached to threats that aren't really threats. In your case, social situations."
"So… like parties and stuff?" Sarah asked.
"Let me narrow this down with a few compare and contrast questions," Serena said. She looked to Zoey. "There's a review of your performance coming up. You've never been written up, never had to be talked to at work. Pretty much: you did your job. How does the performance review make you feel?"
Zoey felt sick just thinking about it, "Scared. What if they fire me? Or tell me I'm not good enough."
"Sarah?" Serena turned to the pink Ranger.
"Fine," Sarah answered. "I did my job well so there's nothing to worry about, I guess."
"Next question. You're doing a presentation in front of a small group of people. You've practiced in your head and you have the cue cards, just in case. How do you feel?"
"Scared," Zoey answered again. "I could mess up, and everyone might laugh at me."
"It'll probably be fine," Sarah answered. "If I mess up, no big deal."
"Let's keep it going," Serena said. "You get invited to a party by a friend. The host is the only person you'll know. What do you do?"
"Is there ice-cream at this party?" Sarah asked, way too seriously, Zoey felt. Serena chuckled.
"It's a party. Of course, there's ice-cream."
"I'll go," Sarah said. She turned to Zoey, "You like ice-cream?"
"I do," Zoey answered, "But… I wouldn't go."
"Why not?" Serena asked. Zoey shrugged.
"I only know one person there. What if no one wants to talk to me and I just stand there, bored?"
"Social anxiety," Serena concluded with a smile, though Zoey wasn't too happy to hear it. "It's the fear of being judged, humiliated or scrutinized by others."
"But that's not normal?" Zoey asked. "Isn't it normal to be nervous before a performance review, or when doing a presentation, or when you're meeting new people?"
"Nervous is normal," Serena nodded. "But you're not nervous about these situations, you're afraid. It's causing your brain to perceive social situations as something threatening and respond like you're in danger. Against a monster, that's a good thing, because the danger is real. When you don't know anyone at a party, you're not in danger."
"So, what can we do about it?" Sarah asked.
"Well, since this isn't a real diagnosis, you could see a real therapist," Serena suggested. "But if you think you want to tackle it yourself first, you could try keeping a journal."
"Like a diary?" Zoey asked.
"Yeah but… don't focus so much on what happens in a day. Focus mostly on the feelings, and what you were doing when those feelings came up," Serena said. "If you do that for long enough, you might start to notice the triggers. Some people with social anxiety fear situations with large groups of people more than small ones. Some people are more anxious around people they don't know vs. people they do know, or vice-versa. Once you can narrow down your triggers, you can start to work on facing your fears and not relying on safety behaviours to cope with anxiety. The truth is, the more you avoid the things that scare you, the more scared you'll be when they happen next time."
"So, we'll start with a journal, then," Sarah said with a smile as she turned to Zoey. "Keep track of every time you start to feel anxious and we'll see what triggers you."
"I… I don't know if I can do that," Zoey shook her head.
"Give it a try," Serena suggested, then checked the time. "I've got to go. Start the journal. Keep it private from everyone, so you write about your feelings honestly. This is a personal journey so whether you choose to share it with others is up to you. My recommendation though is to find someone you trust and have them help you."
"No judgements," Sarah assured Zoey and held up a hand. "Besides, I can't read so you know I won't be snooping. And I know what it's like to have anxiety."
"Most Rangers do," Serena promised Zoey. "PTSD is a real thing that hits all of us at some point, and then there's generalized anxiety for the especially nervous Rangers. OCD in some... basically, if you're a Ranger, you're gonna have a problem with anxiety at some point. You're just coming into the job with it."
Zoey took a deep breathe, then nodded her head. "I'm not afraid of big problems, I solve big problems. And apparently, this is a big problem."
"So, you're in?" Sarah smiled. Zoey nodded.
"I'll do my best."