(1 month later)
I walked into school and spotted Shaun and Cory by their lockers. Cory kept playing with his collar while Shaun kept playing with his hair.
"Yes. Your fine. You're perfect," Cory sighed in annoyance at Shaun "Now, can we get out of the hallway where everyone can see me?"
"Hold on, just need to get a little more hair in my eyes."
"Wow Shaun, and I thought I was the girl," I said, smiling
"Hey," he smiled, closing his locker
"Yes! Thank you!" Cory yelled
"Cory, what's wrong?"
"It's just that between you, Shaun, and Eric, I'm surrounded with perfect hair."
Topanga then walked up to Cory.
"Hi, Cory."
"No need to explain this relationship, is there?"
"What are you guys talking about?"
"Nothing. I'm just a little insecure today, but I'm sure it'll pass," Cory said
Just then, another student by the name of Dylan, walked up to Topanga.
"Hey, Topanaga."
"Hey, Dylan."
"So, you wanna go out this weekend?"
"Of course not. I'm going out with Cory."
"Oh, you're still with him? I figured you'd have dumped him over the summer."
"Would you please leave?" Topanga said
"Yeah, but if you do decide to dump him, here's my card."
He handed Topanga his card before walking away.
"Locker number 168," Cory read "Ha. That's a nice locker."
"Look, Cory, it's just some guy asking me out. It's no big deal."
"Yeah, you know how many guys have asked me out before and since I've been dating Shaun," I said
"Wait, what?" Shaun asked
"Let me count- oh wait, there were none. Sorry, can't help you."
"Look, Topanga, it's not a big deal to you because you're the askee. And why are yo the asked? Because you're always the askee because you are gorgeous."
"Thank you very much. But give me some credit. I know guys go out with girls because of how they look. But you go out with me because of who I am inside. The only reason you think I'm good looking is because you care about me."
"Yes, of course Darling."
Topanaga then went and talked to Cory, and a moment later she was cutting off her hair. They both walked back to us, and Shaun opened his locker with his full-length mirror in it, and Topanga looked at her self in fear.
"She's gonna scream now," Shaun said
Tapanga then screamed at the top of her lungs.
"It's okay. It's just a little hair. It has nothing to do with who I am," she said to herself "I am still Topanga Lawrence, and nobody who cares about me will even notice, right?"
"Mr. Mathews," Mr. Feeny said, walking over to us "Mr. Hunter, Ms. Rogers, ooh. What the heck happened to you?"
"Mr. Feeny, I've cut my hair in an attempt to show Cory that physical appearance is secondary to inner beauty."
"Aha. Well, in that case, Miss Lawrence, I applaud your attempt at teaching a very valuable lesson during these extremely vulnerable…teenage years."
I saw Mr. Feeny smile a bit.
"You think I'm ugly!"
Topanga then ran off.
"Nice going, Feeny," Shawn said
The three of us went into the girls bathroom. Shaun and I hid in the stalls while Cory talked with Topanga. When she left, we got out of the stalls.
"So, how'd it go?" Shaun asked
"Topanga's going to the beauty parlor after school. Everything's fine."
"Huh. So what do we do now?" I asked
"Wanna sit on the couch?" Cory asked
"Yeah," Shaun and I sat, sitting down
After school, the four of us went down to the salon. Then, Shaun, Cory, and I stayed in the waiting room.
"You know, I've never been to one of these places," I said
"Really?" Cory asked "How?"
"I cut my own hair. You think my step parents would pay for something like this?"
We waited around for a little while longer.
"I don't know, man. She's been in there an awful long time," Shaun said
"What are you getting so crazy about? She's just getting a haircut," Cory said
"No, no way. She doesn't wear makeup. She's never been to a beauty parlor. She's completely natural."
"So what's the big deal? Joe wears make up all the time," Cory said
"I wore it because I had to, Cory," I said
"The big deal is that she was beautiful before without anybody's help. Now she's got professional help. She's gonna be mega-beautiful. We're not gonna be able to look at her directly without buying our rentinas."
I just laughed at that.
"Shaun, come on. This is not Beverley Hills. I mean, it's a neighborhood beauty salon next to Old Lady Schnider's doughnut shop. I mean, they don't exactly do miracles here."
Suddenly, Old Lady Schnider came out of one of the chairs looking extreamly beautiful.
"Oh no. Guys, Topanga is gonna come out looking ten times better than she dud when she went in."
"Ok, the first thing she's gonna do is dump you," Shaun said
"Shaun," I said, giving him a playful shove
Cory then started talking about the Haircut Cycle of Shame. It was ridiculous.
"You know she's coming out great-looking, don't you?" Shaun said
"Yes!" Cory said
She then came out, and she looked very pretty.
"Topanga, I want the name of the guy who did this to you," Cory said
"Why? You don't like it?"
"No, its just that I'm in love with this girl who was never interested in what she looked like before, and now I see makeup on your face and polish on your nails and toes and- stop looking at her toes."
"But they sparkle," Shaun said
"I want the name of the guy who did this to you," Cory said
"My stylists name is Mr. Cellini. Cory, it's just a haircut. It's just come makeup. It's not gonna change me. Oh, gotta go."
"Where are you going?" Cory asked
"This outfit with this hair. Hello, bye-bye. I am so at the mall. You wanna be my wing-girl, Joe?"
"Yeah," I said, and we both left
The next morning, a lot of the boys in the class were crowded around Topanga, inspecting her hair. I found it a bit silly.
"All right, everybody, take your seats. Take your seats," Mr. Turner said as he entered the classroom "What is so interesting that you all have to crowd around here-oh, boy. Look at you."
"Yeah, I got a haircut. You like it?" Topanga said
"Hey! Hey! Focus, Mr. Turner. Some are here to learn," Cory said, and I rolled my eyes
"Ok. Today, we're gonna be talking about John Merrick, immortalized in the play The Elephant Man. Now, even though he was tragically disfigured, he still won the hearts of London society with his wonderful inner spirit."
"Yeah, you know what? I come from a great-looking family, and I'm just going through my awkward teenage phase, but that doesn't mean I cant win the hearts of High School society with my wonderful inner spirit," Cory whispered to Shaun and I
"Now, see," Mr. Turner started "What's really interesting about John Merrick is that he came from a wonderful-looking family. Yet was so hideous himself he was forced to wear a burlap sack over his head and perform as a sideshow freak until the day that his oversized head rolled back he died."
"And when did he grow out of this...death?" Cory asked
Just then, Mr. Feeny walked into the room.
"Attention, please. Excuse the interruption, Mr. Turner. A reminder that this Friday is picture day, so, please, dress nicely and try to look your best."
Later that day, Shaun and I had a heart-to-heart with Topanga in the bathroom, and the three of us ran to the salon.
"Stop! Stop! Don't touch him," Topanga said
"Too late. I am finished. And proud to say this is my best work ever. Everything I have done until now was dreck. This is my masterpiece!"
He turned Cory around, and he was exactly the same.
"Oh, he's beautiful," Topanga said
"Of course! I have had to call upon all of my skills and powers."
"I really look okay?"
"I think I'm falling in love with you all over again."
"What have you done to my work?" The stylist asked Topanga "Once again, as a European, I weep without embarrassment."
He then walked away.
"What are you talking about?" Cory said "She looks beautiful. Just like she always was."
"You too, Cory. Just like you always were."
A few days later, Cory told us about how his dad quit his job the night before.
"And that's the whole sad mess I find myself in."
"Wow! And to think you were my only rich friend," Shaun and I both said
"Comfortable. Never rich."
"Indoor plumbing? Rich," Shaun said
"Yeah. To know that you always have a loving home to go back to? Rich," I said
"Well, whatever we were, guys, we're not anymore. You know, I never realized how easy I had it."
"You had it easy, all right," Shaun and I said
"You, with you breakfasts in the morning, your lunches in the afternoon, your dinners at night. Eaters! You're eaters!" Shaun said
"Shaun, they put the food in front of me."
"That's okay. Cool. You're my friend. And I'm gonna teach you how to be poor," Shawn said
"I'll help, too."
"Great. Now, Cory, I have a question for you- When was the last time you slept inside?"
"Last night."
"I cant work with you."
After school, Topanga and I rushed over to the Science Research Building where Cory and Shaun were going to do experiments for money. Topanga and I both thought it was a bad idea.
"Cory, taking part in a research study is a ridiculous way to make money," Topanga said "If you need it that bad, ill lend it to you."
"Well, Shaun says I've got to learn to provide for myself."
"Well, Shaun's girlfriend says it's a bad idea," I said
"Yes. Just get a real job," Topanga said
"Well, Shaun says I'm in no position to pay taxes right now."
"These guys don't even want to know your real names," Shaun said
"Well, we think you guys are both lunatics," Topanga said and I nodded
"Yeah? Well, we'll see what you think after we get our one hundred bucks," Cory said
I suddenly got a bad flashback.
"Are you sure she's worth it?"
"Yeah, and it'll only cost a hundred bucks," Paul said
"Joe, are you okay?" Shaun asked me, worried
"Uh, yeah, it was nothing..."
"I know that's not true."
"Look, Shaun, sometimes people say things that send me into flashbacks of sorts. I just really don't want to talk about this one...at least not now."
"Okay."
Then, a man in a yellow hazmat suit came out, carrying the flask of shampoo with tanks out in front of him. He by accidentally dropped it, and an alarm went off. I immediately flinched at the loud alarm. I also saw the hazmat guy run back into the other room.
Everything ended up being okay, though. Cory's father ended up buying a camping and fishing shop.