So, a little heads up, but the chapter's intense. Got the inspiration for the chapter from a song (chapter title)

Chapter 12

If I Killed Someone For You

Gokudera opened the doors to Takesushi after leaving Tsuna in the shrine. He looked at the tuna based sushi on the table that was left untouched. Yamamoto looked at him with an expression that was out of sorts. He moved to the table and ate the sushi in one bite, thinking that it was for him, but looking at the other staring at him, he paused mid-chew.

"What?"

"…Is it good?"

"Obviously. Do you really have to confirm? You're a sushi owner's son, right? This much is a given."

His accomplice gave him a bitter smile. Gokudera went straight to the main point.

"Did Reborn make a move? I think he would have played hands against the both of us."

"He sent Kurokawa-chan here with a threat.

…I think I understand why pops wanted to keep his past a secret."

"You kept her lips sealed, right? I don't get you. Then your dad wouldn't know about what's going on…"

"She now has something to hold over my head for a long time from now on. Yet with her countenance, you'd think that wasn't the case. I've never seen her like that." The former ace complained.

"Did you fail in the negotiations or something?"

"…Let's leave that behind. Where's Tsuna right now? I told him I'll explain everything. It must be getting boring being there alone."

Gokudera tsked and moved towards the exit, prompting the other to follow him. Yamamoto gave Takesushi one last glance, remembering the shenanigans that his 'pals' got into. How they got lectured by pops when things escalated into a food fight.

Now the place was practically deserted and Kurokawa didn't even touch the food, all the while looking at him like he was a monster. It was a couple of actions that negated his history with them void. Friendship was so fragile…

There was once a time when Kurokawa took the sushi he placed on that counter claiming that it was the least he could do when she tutored him out of a failing grade. Now all the expressions that was in his hindsight were ones severe in nature- inspecting him thoroughly like all the times when they dismissively called him an idiot was nonexistent. Like he had done something he could never take back.

His pops looked at the sushi blade like it was rusting from the sheer smell itself, an iron tang in the air. Like he was wielding something dangerous, something sacred in how much power it possessed. He could understand it now a little.

Those 'friends' of Tsuna had blood in their hands from the countless times they pummeled him into the ground. It was like they tried to forge a bond stronger than that of family forcefully. When he saw Haru's work, he thought that the crimson liquid that decorated the scene was all that taken from the brunette, expelled out of them. It was what they owed his pal for all those years- and a way to make sure they wouldn't borrow any more from him.

Maybe in that outrageous fluid, there was tears and sweat that Tsuna cried or from the exertion to escape to safety. With such a blatant crime scene, even the teen who remained oblivious for a great deal of time from his mother's death would be able to tell that his 'friends' left him behind. After all, no matter what they did before, Tsuna insisted on calling them 'friends'- then would he never drop that term until they finally managed to do him in? Or maybe, even until his dying breath, he'd persist on using that term on them.

Maybe that was what Yamamoto was looking forward with their reunion- a bond so strong that regardless of what he did, Tsuna would open the door for him- waiting for his return.

'Would you love me more if I killed someone for you?'

Then he turned his back towards the shop, walking away from the town of Namimori, like there was no turning back to the him in the past. When Gokudera opened the door to the shrine, there was nobody there.

"What? He's gone?!"

Yamamoto stopped Gokudera from leaving him behind there to 'search' for Tsuna.

"…Hey, did you do this on purpose? The Namimori forest has little to no signal reception, so finding someone with a tracker here is nigh impossible."

"You think I've hidden him from you?"

"Our plan for cooperation has ended and I've got a threat hanging over me. You're thinking that I'll be a nuisance from now on, aren't you?"

"What nonsense."

"But it works for you, doesn't it? Lead me to where he is. Even if I'm a nuisance right now, I can play against you and create a bigger headache- you've already seen what I can do, right?"

If Gokudera tried to cut him off here, then what was the point of doing all that? His last claim was almost like a joke. Kurokawa's frightened expression loomed in his mind. His connections could whittle away as they become more aware of who was behind the cases.

Like the bomber seemed to hear those thoughts of his, he simply pushed Yamamoto aside to 'find' Tsuna. The thread of reassurance that he was seeking seemed to be dangling out of his reach. It was like he was being cornered. Kurokawa could alert his pops anytime she felt mildly threatened, and then Yamamoto would be stranded on his island.

So he played one of the few hands he could a couple of days later. A lady called Bianchi came to Takesushi, spouting that she was looking for her brother when she was merrily drunk of the sake in the store. Thus, he told her graciously that her brother was tucked away in the Forest, a dragon hoarding his treasure.

It took two weeks from then for Gokudera to finally find Tsuna. He looked in the crevices of Namimori and then frantically searched if there were people who left the town. But there were no logs in the public transport and he realized that Reborn wouldn't let Tsuna escape his grasp.

In a last and desperate attempt, he wandered the forest blindly, hoping to bump into Tsuna. It was a miracle that such a stupid idea worked, leaving a hostile Lambo from the Bovino famiglia in front of him. The brat blocked his view of Sawada Tsunayoshi, angrily shouting.

"You were the big meanie that locked Dame-Tsuna in that shrine, right?! Go Away!"

"What do you think you're doing, you brat?! As if getting expelled from the Bovino famiglia wasn't enough."

"I've not been expelled, you stupid cow head! I'm here on a mission!"

"Then go do that! Why are you messing around?! If I tell the Bovinos what you're up to, that's exactly what's going to happen to you."

"Shut up. Shut up!" then, getting riled up by Gokudera's words, Lambo took the 10-year bazooka from his afro and aimed it right at Gokudera. Tsuna, who couldn't interrupt their rapid-fire exchange, opened his eyes wide in alarm before dashing in front of the weapon.

"Wait, Lambo-"

But it was too late and the shot was fired, much to the dismay of the party in question.

Tsuna braced himself for his untimely death, but a bright flash came by without any pain. When he tried opening his eyes, he found himself in a dark place that reeked with a particular smell. He tried moving around but discovered that the place was crammed and maybe it was really crowded, feeling hands around his every body part. He was in a lying position, but with that many hands around him, he wondered if he was in a heap. He shivered at that thought and frantically banged at the ceiling to escape from that situation.

A couple of thuds later, the ceiling gave away with a harsh creak, leaking sunlight into the place. A man with a striking resemblance to Gokudera peered in, his face in extremely close proximity with his own. There was a madness in his expression that made Tsuna look away from him immediately. With that turn, he was forced to face what he was being buried with- hands. Disembodied arms. So many of them.

He shrieked and backed away, knocking his head against the coffin's back. Seeing Gokudera reach towards him did not help in any way.

"Tsuna-sama! Please calm down. I'll explain everything." The man said with an unnatural gleam in his eyes as they drunk in his very sight. Wedged in a rock and a hard place, Tsuna could only listen to the other's words.

"We have caught each and every one of them that pointed a gun at you in your last 'meeting' with Byakuran and sliced those audacious hands that even dared to do such a thing to you."

The man said that with the voice of a sinner begging for penitence. Tsuna tried to lean away from the zealous tone of his voice, the rotting fingers brushing horrifyingly against his hair. But the tight grip the silverette had on his arms left him rooted on the spot, a bruising grip leaving marks on his skin.

"W-Why would you do something like that?!"

Gokudera looked at him like he simply couldn't comprehend why he was refusing his offering, his eyes seeing someone else in him- an older version of him- a version of him that was riddled with bullets. Those fingers brushed against his spine and he couldn't help but scream.

"Leave me! Let me go! Help!"

"Tsuna-sama, I'm so glad to see you again- even if it's the you from ten years ago."

Then man brought him into a bone-crushing hug, but if he pushed him aside, he would only fall amongst those hands that once held a gun against his future body. The coffin's inside was spick and span, like someone had been regularly maintaining it, and with horror, Tsuna realized that it was the man in front of him. There was a smell of formalin in his fingers and the other might have been preserving him to outlast all those that have turned against him.

Gokudera's fingers felt like they were crawling over Tsuna and he felt himself getting light-headed as it became difficult to breathe. The bed of hands under him was ready to 'comfort' him. In the lighting of the room, he could see the exposed flesh, the maggots crawling out of the nails, and even the bones under the flesh. No matter how much air he sucked in, it couldn't provide even the smallest comfort to him.

With that the ten minutes was up and he found himself back to the forest, facing Gokudera. He let out a shrill shriek as he backed away from him.

"Tsuna…?"

"Stay away from me! Don't come closer!"

"No. No. No. Please! Tsuna! Reconsider! I'll do anything!" The teen reached a trembling hand towards the other as he begged.

"Anything?! Why don't you cut that hand then?! You can't, can you?!"

After all, the silverette had rejected his previous request, leaving in that shrine. He left him behind and rendered into a more useless Dame-Tsuna, when he finally saw that he had the power to become a 'hero'. He asked for many things in his life, but it always told him that he was arrogant to even think that his wishes could pollute the air.

Then without hesitation, the Hayato reached for a dagger in his coat and he plunged the knife from a height on his tendons. He dug the knife deep into the muscles, his desperation winning over the pain that seared his body, his every nerve on fire with the assault.

A lady's voice erupted as Gokudera mutilated his arm, making Tsuna turn with a horrified look at their visitor. Hot pink hair fell all over her face, utterly unkempt and disgraceful.

"Bianchi-nee…" the silverette said as his arm fell to the ground with a sickening plop. Tsuna fell on his knees as Lambo inched closer towards him with a shotgun on his hand this time. The brunette looked at her face after noticing the look on Gokudera's face. The 20 minutes carousel-led in circles in his head, warping and twisting, amplifying in focus. He took the gun from Lambo like he was possessed and took a shot right at 'Bianchi's' forehead.

The lady fell backwards like a marionette without strings. He looked back at the teen who said he could do anything for him. Would he forgive him for doing this too?

Lambo's tiny hands dug into his skin as the child pressed into him, no doubt, terrified of his actions. Gokudera looked at Tsuna with an utterly blank look as he fell onto his knees, his posture in utter servitude. It was the same look, same body language as the man in the future.

It was what he didn't want from the other. It was how the man from the future looked like he couldn't leave him, even after Tsuna was dead- like he simply couldn't go on without him.

What Tsuna didn't understand was that if Gokudera couldn't forgive him for this action, the person he saw crying for his mother inside of Tsuna would be missing. In fact, the him remaining in Bianchi who did the same would be gone. His past was gone with Bianchi's death and what he wanted to protect, now existed only within Tsuna.

After all, Tsuna said that he wouldn't tell him to go away if he did anything for the other. If he accepted Tsuna's shooting Bianchi, then he wouldn't have to leave. Even if he left, there was nothing left for him anymore.

A little distance from them, Reborn looked at the scene with his hands gripped. What was there in the future that forced Tsuna to act like that.

The obsession Tsuna saw in Gokudera's eyes in the future terrified him. It was like seeing a version of him far more corrupted than he had been from his mother's death. All that happened in just ten minutes- if that was just the scratch on the surface, he shuddered to think just what happened in the span of ten years.

Tears spilt from Gokudera's eyes as he refused to look at his sister's corpse and the guilt that suddenly fell on Tsuna's shoulders was overwhelming in its weight. Just how could he make up for this? He crawled towards the arm and hugged it while sobbing. It was an impulse that took over him and with the shroud that cleared away, he could understand the relationship that two had and what exactly was he forcing Gokudera to accept.

The hand was limp on his arms. Now, even in the most improbable situation, Gokudera couldn't curl his hands out of wrath and choke his life away. The teen faced him, with blood pouring freely from his socket and finally fell on Tsuna's lap. The fallen figure was utterly dependent on him in a gesture of a trust fall.

Tsuna simply sat there weeping, his desolate cries lost in the woods as Lambo hid his trembling figure upon his frame. Reborn took his fedora off to pay his respects, closing his eyes in slight resignation.