A/N: I POSTED TWO CHAPTERS THE SAME DAY, READ 25 FIRST.

READ. 25. FIRST.

READ. 25. FIRST.

READ. 25. FIRST.

TO FORGIVE YOURSELF... BELIEVE YOU DESERVE IT.

PART 2

"Oh yes, the past can hurt, but you either run from it or learn from it." The Lion King.

The next day Arthur was reading in the corner of his room when there was a knock on his door.

"Hello, Arthur," Leon said amiably and Arthur just stared at him bored, "Uh… sorry to interrupt but someone is looking for you—."

Leon looked perplexed before he went to look behind him for a moment. Arthur heard someone whispering something, he saw Leon smiling before he turned towards Arthur once again.

"Sorry, I'm afraid I will have to rephrase, I was told to say that it's not 'someone' but rather Edmund, a kid from—" Another whisper and Leon closed his eyes with an amused smile. "And Edmund wants me to say that he's not a kid, he's seven."

Arthur turned his stare to his book. "Tell him to leave."

Leon, however, faked deafness and stepped to the side, revealing the boy behind him. He had a red shirt that was a size too big for him, his pants were a faded brown and he was barefoot, however he looked the happiest kid alive. His green eyes were shining and his smile looked wider than his face, strangely, his arms were crossed over his stomach, like he had a stomachache.

"Hello," The kid grinned again but refrained himself from waving and then turned towards Leon. "Thank you, Sir Guard."

Leon raised a brow at the little kid who was dismissing him before he looked towards Arthur. Arthur shot Leon a glance that clearly indicated that he wanted to be left alone and it was Leon's duty to get rid of anybody that the prince didn't wish to see, however, Leon ignored him olympically, what Arthur needed where other kids his age and this kid, miraculously, had come willingly. Which was a first.

"You are welcome, Edmund, well, if there's nothing else I will be just outside the door," Leon said as he closed the door behind him chuckling to himself.

Arthur was flabbergasted, he needed to work on his glances towards this new guard, apparently he didn't understand when Arthur wanted people gone. Arthur sighed and looked at the kid who was still grinning by the door.

"What are you doing here?" Arthur asked perplexed.

"Are you really the prince?" The kid asked amused, green eyes shining with curiosity and Arthur stood straighter on his spot and nodded, Edmund giggled. "And you can't get yourself a piece of chocolate? My mother says kings and princes can have whatever they want."

Arthur mumbled something about chocolate being banned and crossed his arms.

"Do you really love chocolate that much?"

Arthur made a funny face, like saying 'duh, peasant, everybody does' but then he remembered that Lilith was always telling him about manners so he just nodded. "Everybody likes chocolate." Duh.

"Great!" The kid grinned and at this the boy let his hands fall away from his stomach and from within his shirt, several chocolate bars came toppling to the floor, he dropped to his knees and began making two different piles of chocolates. "Then we can share, my mother always says that we need to share things with friends."

"I'm not your friend," Arthur stated flatly, he was still mad at him after the failure from yesterday—Lilith had given him another earful— however, he sat in front of the kid and waited until the kid was satisfied with the size of the piles.

"I'm Edmund." The boy said as he pushed one pile towards Arthur and the other towards him.

Arthur doubted before he answered. "I'm Arthur."

Edmund's visit didn't last long as a few minutes later Leon knocked on the door, alerting the kids that Lilith was about to enter, they quickly hid leftovers under Arthur's bed as they furiously scrubbed their faces in an effort to get rid of the chocolate.

Lilith blinked several times at the two little faces staring back when she stepped inside; she could smell the chocolate in the air, and she was aware of the stains of chocolate in their clothes and cheeks. She wondered how Arthur had done it, however, she faked blindness as she lowered herself to the ground and looked at them both. She spotted the chocolates under the bed and groaned internally. Uther would have her head dare he hears of this.

The kid she didn't know gifted her with a chocolate smile and she unconsciously went to straighten the kid's shirt, she smiled softly.

"So, Arthur, who is this?" She asked as she went to scrub Arthur's face clean.

"He's my friend."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Arthur, bet you can't reach this high!" Edmund, now eight, teased an eleven-year-old Arthur. They were in the gardens and Arthur and him had been playing before Edmund had the amazing idea of climbing a tree.

You see, Arthur was terrible at climbing, not that he said that to anyone. Though, thinking back, he must have said something of the sorts because the day ended with Arthur cradling a broken arm and Edmund apologizing one hundred times because of it. Arthur was confined to his room for a whole week.

"You are an idiot, you know that? This is your fault." Arthur huffed angrily one time, tired of being almost tied to his bed in order to heal. Then he noticed the broken face of Edmund's and Arthur just rolled his eyes before he mumbled. "It's…not exactly your fault. It was the tree's fault." He said awkwardly. "You are not an idiot, sorry Ed."

"Whatever," Edmund said, however, he stayed for the whole day and the next day he brought with him four differents bars of chocolate.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"One day I will be a knight, Arch," Edmund told him when Arthur turned twelve, they were sparring in the armory while the knights ate in the mess hall. "How awesome will that be? Sir Edmund, knight of Camelot."

"That's not fair!" Morgana complained from the other side as she battled and invisible enemy with her sword. "I want to be a knight too."

"Only boys can be knights, Morgs!" Arthur complained loudly and refrained from rolling his eyes.

"I can beat Edmund." She grumbled as she went to place her sword where it belonged and Edmund rolled his eyes. "Besides I'm practically family, you could name me a knight if you wanted."

Arthur made a face at her. "But I don't want to."

Edmund laughed and Arthur jabbed him by the side softly as Edmund jumped out of the way, however, he managed to trip over his own feet.

"Ed, watch your feet," Arthur retorted he helped his friend to his feet. "I will only name you a knight if you train hard enough."

Edmund huffed. "You just wait, in a few years I will be even better than Leon."

"Heard that."

The three kids turned to see Leon entering the armory and Arthur smiled as Edmund waved, Morgana ran to hug him. Leon just turned seventeen and unlike the other knights he loved to spend time with the kids, besides he was Arthur's personal guard for three years until he was promoted.

"Hello, Leon." The kids chorused.

"Hey, kids," Leon said taking a seat on a bench, Morgana climbed on the space next to him and Leon narrowed his eyes at her. "Lady Morgana, have you been training?"

"No."

"Yes…"

"She wants to be a knight."

Leon chuckled. "A knight? Morgana, only boys can be knights."

"Oh, not you too," Morgana said in doom as she basically jumped from her seat and stormed towards the door, before leaving she whirled on her spot, holding her high she said; "One day I might be Queen of a King, a-and then I will title myself a knight."

"Oh really?" Arthur yelled and jabbed Edmund's side as he snickered. "Good luck finding a husband."

Morgana glared at him before turning, slamming the door behind her.

"So little and yet she has more attiude than any of us," Leon sighed perplexed.

"Well? And where have you been? You haven't been around recently to teach us anything," Edmund complained as he crossed his arms. Leon had just been promoted to Knight a few weeks ago and they had seen little of Leon ever since then. "You promised."

Leon sighed and nodded. "I know but I was on a mission."

"Was it a cool mission or a boring mission?" Edmund tilted his head and narrowed his eyes.

"A dangerous mission," Leon said as he waved his fingers in front of his face. "I chased a sorcerer."

"You what?" Both kids asked. Arthur was excited, he loved to hear stories about sorcerers being caught, by his side Edmund grew paler by the second.

"Did you succeed?" Arthur asked in a hurry as Edmund's eyes focused on the sword that Leon had sheathed by his side.

"We are the knights of Camelot, Arthur, we always do," Leon grinned as he rose from his seat and turned towards the exit. "Wanna hear it over lunch?"

"Yes! Ed, hurry up and place the sword where it belongs!"

"I'll be there in a minute," Edmund mumbled as he went to pick his sword from the ground.

Arthur later realized, in the middle of this meal, that Edmund didn't show up to the mess hall at all.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"He was a sorcerer," Merlin said after several minutes where Arthur was silent, the now crown prince of Camelot was looking far into the horizon and his eyes were everywhere but there, he gave one long sigh before he shook his head.

"No, he was the only one in his family that wasn't a sorcerer; his mother, brother and father were…"

Merlin blinked before he gasped. "You mean… Leon—Leon killed his father that day?"

Arthur again shook his head and looked down at his lap. "No. His father died on the great purge along with his brother. He told me that and back in the day, I thought they had died because of an illness, casualties of the war…" Arthur sighed. "I never linked his father to magic because, well, I didn't want to believe it I guess, being his friend was easy because we were children, a lot of things didn't matter to me, like status, or magic, or time or age. We just wanted to play, eat and train."

"And then? What happened?"

"I grew up." Arthur sighed. Refuting Merlin's theory, Arthur wasn't born a prat… he was made into one.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Arthur had just turned fourteen and Edmund twelve and now hanging around Edmund wasn't as exciting as in the beginning. His father had introduced him to other royals young teens like himself and soon being seen around Edmund was a motive of whispers and laughs between his new friends.

"Look at his clothes, Arthur," Louis had once told the prince as Edmund carried a few swords out the armory to polish them, unaware that Arthur and his friend were nearby. Arthur looked at the concentrated face of his friend and wondered when had been the last time they talked, two weeks ago? The older the friends became the less time they seemed to find to hang out; Edmund had more duties and Arthur had more obligations while their status pushed them apart, however, they still were loyal friends, that was until his friends—friends that now Arthur wished he had never met— started to poison his mind.

"What is wrong with them," Arthur spat. "I mean, they are not new but he's a servant, what did you expect?"

"Arthur, that's exactly the point, he's a servant,"George said, he was a year older than Arthur and even thought they were the same height that year weighed on the kid's shoulders."All he does is clean and scrub the floors all day! I don't even know why you are friends with him."

The way he spat the word friends made Arthur feel sick.

"Oi!" Lucas, another kid said, and Edmund, who was having trouble with the swords, looked up confused, once he spotted them he just nodded in their direction. "Having trouble there, kid? Too lanky to lift them all up?"

"Leave him alone." Arthur hissed under his breath.

"Or what?" George said and Arthur rolled his eyes, giving his back to Edmund.

"Stop wasting time with stupid servants and let's train, two out of three you can't beat me?"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Their banter towards Edmund grew, at first it was just words but then they started to trip him on purpose, they would throw things at him in the armory… they would call him names when he approached me. Eventually, I stopped seeking for him when I was with them, and then I stopped searching for him, we only managed to spar once every few days, if at all. I was always with my father now, he was teaching me himself now about politics and manners, about trades and documents, I accept that being a teenager didn't suit me at all, Merlin. I felt that everybody had to bow to me. I felt like I deserved it. When George started to repeat this over and over… I believed him. I had so much power in my hands… and so few people who could stop me."

"You have never abused your power, Arthur. Not in that way."

Arthur smiled softly and shook his head. "I did not only turned out to be a lousy, bad friend, Merlin, I turned up to be a manageable prince, and no one knew better of this than George. Everything he said seemed like the law in the group I was part of… I let him blind me and so I made horrible decisions. I drove Edmund away… and I fired Lilith shortly after."

Arthur at the age of fifteen realized that being friends with Edmund was more trouble than it was worth, his friends laughed at him, his father reprimanded him for being 'soft and good-hearted to a servant of all people' Lilith and Leon seemed to be the only ones who encouraged this, and then, in a tantrum, he had fired Lilith.

Arthur regretted this decision several times over the years, but after it was done, it was done, and a few days later Lilith took her things and left to live in the lower town.

Leon became a high ranked knight and soon he had less and less time to spend with Arthur, leaving him with George and his pack of friends and Leon didn't like but tolerated. Morgana grew up too, and then she forgot about her almost sibling and friend and began to hang out with the court ladies more, she went on long trips around the kingdom and her soft her soon forgot that she had a friend that needed her in Camelot too.

"I secluded myself into this… evil, consuming world… and when Edmund tried to bring me back I pushed him away, and eventually our friendship just…died." Arthur said and, by the way he was talking, Merling wondered if he was even aware that Merlin as there anymore more.

One day Arthur didn't call Edmund for sword practice, a few days later the chocolate bars hidden behind a statue became less regular, and one day, it all stopped; Arthur stopped calling Edmund on the hallways, or in training, he ordered Leon to stop asking about Edmund, then the chocolate bars stopped coming, his sword became rusty because Edmund refused to polish it anymore even though it was his duty. Arthur didn't want to call him on that, either to Sir Godric or his father, so he started doing it himself but he grew bitter, it was the servants job, after all.

And then, one day, Arthur stopped defending him from his friends.

They called him things and he would let them.

They would throw things at him and he would look the other way.

They laughed when Edmund was given too many chores, and then complained loudly about his job when they crossed paths in the castle.

They tripped him once in the stairs and Arthur went to grab his arm, he had barely had the time to push him right—the fall could have seriously injured Edmund, after all—when Edmund snapped his hand away. Arthur had been furious, he had helped him! And the next week he had tripped Edmund himself.

Arthur had been young, naive, and stupid, and had thought that eventually he would find the time to settle and fix things with Edmund, Leon had told him that time healed everything and Arthur wanted to believe that, however, George's words repeated so much in his head he began to think they were his own.

He began thinking that Edmund couldn't take a joke. He began thinking that Edmund's clothes were really awful, he realized his friend was poor and therefore unworthy of him, he was below him. George said that, Lucas said that, Louis said that, his father said that… so it was true.

A brave man stands for himself, Arthur! His father will tell him whenever he had time to train him himself. And Arthur thought that if Edmund wasn't brave enough to fend for himself then it wasn't his job to interfere and protect him. Edmund had to learn Arthur wasn't always going to be there for him.

A year like this passed by and one day, a few weeks before Arthur turned sixteen Arthur caught Edmund on his chambers.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"What are you doing?" Arthur asked once he closed the door behind him, a part of him was glad that Edmund had taken the first step into fixing their relationship, he had thought that Edmund had come—after a year of almost silence but glares between them—to call a truce, to make peace…but he had been so wrong.

"Nothing," Edmund said as he turned but his hands shook and down went a dozen golden coins that tinkled on the floor, Arthur was rooted to his spot as he watched them fall and disperse around. The sound died a few second later but the ringing in Arthur's ears did not.

Both friends stared at each other for an eternity before Edmund sighed, his hands going to his pockets as he looked at his feet, ashamed with himself. His dark curly hair hiding his green eyes from the blue eyes of his friend.

"I'm sorry, Arthur, I just—"

"Are you—were you…" Arthur had been so angry that he had pushed Edmund against the wall with one arm across his throat. He felt betrayed, the only person who had access to his chambers without question was Lilith, his father, and Edmund. It hurt more than he cared to admit. "Were you stealing from me?"

"Let me—"

"I can't believe this." Arthur hissed as he stepped away from him with disgust. "We are friends!"

At this Edmund blinked and his troubled face grew stormy and cold in a second. "Friends? Oh, this is rich coming from you, we stopped being friends years ago!"

Arthur blinked as he involuntary took a step back. "What do you—"

"Oh, like you care about me, your highness," Edmund spat angrily. "With your rich and almighty friends, what do you need me for? Oh, right, I'm your friends greatest entertainment, I make a good punching bag when we cross paths, don't I? They love to trip me when no one is looking, to send me to the other side of the castle running to retrieve George's sword, and—wait! He didn't even need it in the first place!"

Arthur shook his head. "It's your own damn fault, learn to stand for yourself, Edmund! I won't always be there!"

"I don't need you to be there!" Edmund screamed as he shook with anger. "You and your idiotic friends can stay here and you can keep living your unworthy life the way you have been living it!"

"I'm your future king, mind your tongue!" Arthur yelled and Edmund spat to the floor in disgust.

"I will call you King when you deserve the title!" At this Edmund shoved Arthur away. "Get out of my way, I'm leaving Camelot! That's is all I came here to say."

"You are leaving, damn right, but with my money, you thief!"

"What is all this yelling?!" The doors of the room opened and inside came Uther. Both friends went pale when the king stopped in front of them. "What is this discussion about, Arthur? And what, pray tell, is the meaning of this?"

Leon was behind Uther and they both quickly assessed the angry postures of both kids and the money scattered around the floor. Uther put the pieces together faster than Arthur had done. His eyes snapped towards Edmund who bravely stood his ground, hands set at his sides and green eyes flaring terribly.

Uther hissed angrily and before Arthur could stop him Uther slapped Edmund. Arthur had been so in shock he didn't dare moving. It gave him quite a shock to see his father like that and suddenly Arthur's blood felt like it had turned ice, his anger slowly leaving him.

Edmund just spat the blood from his mouth to the floor and glared back at the king. Arthur didn't know it then, didn't know everything Edmund was hiding but if he had known he would have never said what he said then.

"Is this what I think it is?" Uther demanded. When Edmund just turned his stare to the ground the king rturned towards Arthur, in silent but heavy demand.

Edmund and Arthur shared a glance and for a second Arthur could see the kid he had met with an apple on his hand on top of a tree, he remembered all the times Edmund stole chocolate bars from him, all the spars, games, and laughs. All the times they had annoyed Morgana, all their little escapades to the lower town to play with other kids.

But Arthur was angry, he was angry because his father kept on being disappointed with him, he was angry because no matter what he did, he was never enough. He was angry because his best friend had come to steal from him, he was angry with George, who kept pushing Arthur to his limits. He was angry with Lilith for leaving him, even though he had fired her. Arthur was mad with himself…

Arthur was angry and tired and Edmund was right there...

"It is, he was trying to steal from me."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The silence that followed enveloped both friends for several minutes. Even Merlin didn't dare speak. Arthur wasn't trembling, his eyes were as blue as any day, but Merlin had to wonder how on earth could Arthur be so stoic. Merlin knew that inside the prince was actually crushed, Arthur could be a prat but he had one of the purest hearts Merlin had ever encountered.

"I went to the dungeons later that night… it was horrible to see him there, chained to the wall… bleeding from his mouth… he told me he hated me, he said that I was a coward and didn't deserve to be prince, he told me that he would rather die that witness me become King…I guess I deserved all of it." Arthur closed his eyes and placed his head on his hands. The look on Edmund's eyes was something he will never forget, he truly hated him then, he called him a million things; a coward, a selfish idiot with a pathetic life. 'I was your friend! I was not those idiots!' Arthur cared little about that, he just asked him time and time again why he had stolen from him.

He never told him.

"Later that night I begged my dad to forgive him, to punish him, banish him even, anything as long as it meant he could keep his life. I told him I wasn't seeing right, that he wasn't stealing and he called me weak once again. Stealing, Merlin, is something that you pay with your life in court… It took me a few hours to convince him but he finally agreed with my idea; a month of incarceration in one of the cells in the dungeons. I made him promise over his honor. After he promised me that he would not kill Edmund I was able to return to my chambers nad get some sleep. I planned on visiting Edmund every day for the next thirty days until we amended things," Arthur sighed as he opened his eyes. A bitter smile crept to his face. "The next day I woke up and found out he had been killed first thing in the morning."

Merlin gasped, enraged out of the sudden, "But your father—"

"My father, Merlin, has always been a man moved rather by anger than facts," Arthur said bitterly, "And George knew this, after I left my father George went to seek him, he told him that he had seen Edmund stealing several times before from my chambers and other places. He even went as far as to say that he had seen a book of my father's in his room on the servant quarters, in his rage, he dragged Edmund out of his cell and hung him in the courtyard with no more witnesses than a few citizens."

The air around them suddenly stopped feeling warm.

"He was my best friend, Merlin…" Arthur said, and for the first time his voice broke a little. "I should have tried harder. I should have known."

"Arthur, It wasn't—"

Arthur shook his head. "Please, save it, I know what I did, I've been living with the regret for years, it doesn't weight that much anymore but… it never goes away, not really."

Arthur wondered if he had been wiser, older, would he have understood everything Edmund wasn't saying at the time. Uther had killed Edmund's father. His mother, who worked at the castle and had always been nice to him, was a witch that lived under his roof with the constant fear of being caught. She had a child to feed and she had no other way to survive but work under the roof of the very same man that had killed her son and husband.

It was a miracle that Edmund didn't spit on Arthur's face when he went down to visit him.

"I was crushed when I found out, but a part of me, the most despicable one, thought he deserved it; he was my friend and he betrayed me. It took me two whole weeks to realize how wrong I was; it didn't matter if Edmund had stolen from me or not: he didn't deserve to die. The guilt almost consumed me then, I hated George, I hated my father, and so a few days later I gathered my strength and went to visit his mother. I knew that she had no one else in the world but Edmund, I didn't know if she knew about her son or not, or if she hated me because of it or not, but I felt responsible for her now." At this Arthur paused as his eyes grew stormy. "When I arrived at her house I found her on the verge of dying… I found out that Leonora was ill, she had been ill for a few months and the money Edmund was earning as a servant wasn't enough to provide her with medicines and..." Arthur breathed heavily as he angrily unsheathed his sword and jabbed it in the ground in front of him. "Edmund was stealing because— because his mother was ill…all the idiot wanted was medicines for his mother and I sent him to his grave, Merlin, who does that?" Arthur asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Arthur, you didn't know!" Merlin said angrily.

"So?" Arthur snapped towards Merlin. "It doesn't matter, Merlin! I didn't see because I didn't want to. I should have noticed the way he was acting. I should have known about his mother, we were friends weren't we? Instead, I didn't let him explain in my room, I didn't defend him against my father. I didn't give him the chance of the doubt, I didn't do anything! I let them drag him to the dungeons and wasn't even there to watch him take his last breath, the last thing I could've done since everything, everything, was my fault. "

"Arthur—"

Arthur stood up in a swift movement and walked away. Merlin silently stared at the sword in shock. It may have happened over ten years ago but judging the way Arthur was reacting he wondered how many people actually knew the whole story, if at all, and then Merlin realized that probably this was one of the hundreds of things Arthur had probably never spoken about.

The life of a prince was hard and damned whoever thinks otherwise.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

When Gwaine came back Elyan was fast asleep and Owen was sitting on a bolder, sharpening his sword as he kept watch. Gwaine crossed the river his eyes hooded as he looked towards his friend pass out cold on the floor. He looked remarkably better, he thought, and once on the other side he hugged and crossed his arms. His eyes reading each line on Elyan's face. He didn't realize he had been staring at Elyan for minutes until Owen pocked him with his sword on the knee.

"So, what did you find?"

Gwaine spared one last look at Elyan before he turned his eyes to Owen, shaking his head. "Nothing, mate, not another living soul."

Owen nodded stiffly once and the silence grew heavy once again. After a moment Owen nodded as he stood up, like commanding himself to do something he didn't want to, the knight motioned for Gwaine to follow him a few yards away.

"Gwaine, listen, I know you want to go further east, search for the rest of them…. but, Gwaine, I don't think it's wise. Not anymore. We should head back; Elyan has been through hell, he needs to go home. We all do." Owen said sadly but firm. "I won't stop you going yourself but I'm begging you not to," Owen sighed defeated. "I- I don't think you will find them…"

"You are right." Gwaine finally said after a moment.

"Sorry, what?" Owen blinked confused, he had been expecting a fight about this.

"You are right, we should head back to Camelot," Gwaine said as he huffed his hair out of his face. "I agree, I don't think they are alive anymore…"

Owen blinked and coughed before nodding. They were silent for a long time before Owen started to make his way towards Elyan, Gwaine stopped him from advancing, though, taking him by the arm.

"Gwaine?"

Gwaine narrowed his eyes at Elyan once again before he turned towards Owen.

"We will go back, but… just one thing, mate."

"What?"

"Don't mention Arthur, not just yet." At the confused face of Owen he elaborated, "Arthur didn't want to send a patrol to look for him, let just let him think, for now, that we were sent after him. He will be crushed to know we abandoned them."

Or rather, that I abandoned them, Gwaine thought grimly.

Owen agreed as he walked back to the little camp they had made, Gwaine watched from his spot as Owen gently woke his friend up, the sun was high in the sky and if they hurried Gwaine believed they could make it to Camelot before sunset.

What Gwaine didn't say, though, was that he indeed found vague footprints of another person in the woods beside Elyan's. All the time Gwaine spent in the forest he spent it investigating but even though he found traces of Elyan's bloodied clothes the other traces were almost invisible and hard to follow.

He heard a yell and Gwaine was startled to see that Elyan was blindly trying to fight Owen; the scared face of Elyan before realizing where he was, and who was Owen made Gwaine forget all about his discoveries in the forest, he was thinking too much.

Elyan was fine and for now, that was all that mattered.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Merlin found Arthur leaning against a tree almost at the base of the hill, his arms were crossed around his torso and his feet were locked by the ankles. He looked calmer now and as he approached him Arthur shot him a glance before he returned his stare to the sky.

Merlin stopped a few feet away from him, sword at hand.

Well, Arthur thought grimly, Edmund's story had gone worse than expected; it was hard to talk about a friend, especially when they weren't there.

"Arthur—"

"Don't… just don't," Arthur said firmly, he pushed his hands in front of him, like trying to push away everything he couldn't say. "Just shut up."

Merlin sighed as he let the sword rest against a rock, he waited for several seconds before he talked again and he could see the resigned look on Arthur's face when he did.

"Arthur—"

"Do you ever do as you are told?" Arthur sighed resigned.

"— thank you."

"What?"

"For sharing the story with me, I'm sorry I put you through that…" Merlin said gently as he crossed his arms and looked up at the sky. "It's well past midday, you up for some training?"

Arthur blinked several times and sniffled against his will, he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. No. He wasn't about to start crying now. He didn't want to and still he felt the prickles of tears come to the edge of his eyes. "Oh, for god's sake…"

"A stupid man once told me no man deserved my tears, then, a stubborn prince told me just this morning that a kingdom couldn't afford to see their prince weak," Merlin said staring at the blue sky above them, "But a wise man once told me that it was alright to cry and pay our respects to the people we loved," Merlin looked down at Arthur, who was silently letting the tears fall, head low, hoping against hope that his black hair could cover his face. Merlin respectfully looked up to the sky again. "I know that what happened with Edmund hurts you but you were young, Arthur, you tried to protect him."

"It wasn't enough," Arthur said bitterly.

Merlin was quiet for a long time before he talked again. "If it helps… think about it this way; you learned from it."

"I really don't see how," Arthur said bitterly.

"You saved me," Merlin said simply and Arthur snapped his face towards Merlin. "You saved me from your father and Agravaine. You saved my Mother and Ealdor four years ago. Arthur, you have always, always, done what you think is right. You made mistakes but we all do, don't blame yourself for something you didn't know was going to happen." Merlin said slowly for Arthur to fully understand. "William's death is not my fault just as Edmund's isn't yours. We both know you didn't kill Edmund. It wasn't your fault. Things went terribly wrong but that doesn't mean you have to blame yourself for it."

"How can you say that?" Arthur said a few moments later, voice wavering. "How can you hear and know everything about me and still think so highly of me? Merlin, I—Edmund died because of me."

"And everything you couldn't do for him, you have done for me. I truly believe that if Edmund had been alive today… he would have been proud of you." Merlin smiled softly. "I know he would."

Arthur scrubbed his face clean from the tears that had leaked and scoffed half-heartedly towards the ground. "I don't even know how you are friends with me, you know? Sometimes I wonder why don't you leave Camelot at times…"

Merlin had not met Arthur when he was young, he met Arthur at the beginning of his twenties but Merling thought that the broken and insecure man he was seeing now was probably what remained of those years. Merlin hummed before looking up at the sky, a few birds flew above his head and Merlin smiled.

"My mother is always saying that family is what is most important in life. She says we shouldn't wander too far off because in the end family is all you have left. I already lost my father, Arthur, why would I want to leave the only brother I ever had?"

A/N: If Arthur cried long and hard after those words will be up to you. The story of Edmund and Arthur was larger but I decided to keep the story 'short' maybe in the future I will address everything that went unsaid but you can fill the spaces if you wish. What happened to George, what kind of fight did Arthur and his father had? How did the conversation with Leonora, Edmund's mom, went like? What were the final words of Edmund? Jesus, angsty chapter isn't it?

I'm sorry for taking so long but inspiration refused to come! I swear I was this close to giving up on the story and then, today, (an by today I meant five days ago) at 1:15 am in the morning… ta-da! Inspiration hit. My heart is swelling because I had been so frustrated!

And well, this is my version of what happened in Arthur's past, I think that Edmund explains why Arthur didn't have many friends, he trusted Edmund and he betrayed him (later he found out why, but still, and then he began thinking he was unworthy of friends too) and the ones he thought were his friends were bullies, royals who had no heart for servants so Arthur secluded his heart, didn't trust anybody anymore. Uther promised not to kill Edmund and he did, George, a 'friend' sent Edmund to his grave, and Edmund his childhood friend, well… things went downhill. I think that Arthur in order to not be hurt anymore choose to live his life like his dad wanted to. (Until Merlin comes along, yay!) Besides, I like the idea of young Leon being friends with them (and young Leon was bit of a show-off and lazy, then he grew up and turned out to be the man we know.)

Questions: you think Elyan is lying about the rest, or you think all the knights are really dead? Did you like Edmund's character? I loved him, (I was reading this for the final time and I was like noooo, he would have been best friends with Merlin!) Anyways! what do you think will happen in Camelot? Elyan is alive, Gwen finds out that he was missing and that Arthur refused to help.

Next chapter! Elyan shares about what happened with Morgana, Owen and Gwaine have a _ with Lance and Leon, Merlin and Arthur celebrate Merlin's birthday in the _. _ arrives at Ealdor, a long forgotten _of Merlin's and Arthur tells Merlin something that will set both friends into the next and final adventure before they return to Camelot. Fill the spaces! *grins*

For the next chapter you will have to be patient guys, I just uploaded two chapters in a row! Bear with me.

The reviews from the last chapter were outstanding! I loved them all! Most of you are creators, I myself think I would be one too, or eradicate, I love destroying things just as I love to build them.

Suricata: I loved Hunith and Arthur too, we didn't see Hunith here but it was about time Edmund's chat took place. Yep, Elyan is alive but sadly he's the only one who is returning (or not). Hope you liked Edmund's story as much as you liked Merlin's past.

Write that wrong : I'm glad you liked the chapter! Well, yes, I just can't help but push Arthur and Merlin together, they are like brothers, really, and they both are willing to push over their own limits to help each other. Hope you liked Edmund's character.