- Chapter 10: Let the Show Begin -

I was woken by a dull slapping on the canvas of the tent. I squinted, taking a moment to process my surroundings. I'd been having a pretty vivid dream, and a pleasant one.

The dull slapping continued. "Kyon, are you in there?" It was Ishigaki's voice.

"Yeah, you can come in," I said blearily. I hadn't taken off my clothes for my little nap, naturally.

She unzipped the opening and stepped inside. "Hey. Sorry to wake you, but we're almost ready for the fashion show. Wouldn't want you to miss it."

"Me either." I stretched my limbs. All of them. "So Haruhi talked you into taking part?"

"Yeah, it sounds like fun. She's picked out some nice outfits for me." She grinned. "And her wanting me to do it gave me some good leverage."

I frowned. "Leverage for what?"

"Oh, when Koizumi told her about how Taniguchi snuck off to try and spy on us while we were bathing, she wanted to ban him from the fashion show. So I got her to commute the sentence into making him handle the dinner preparations."

It took me a minute to try to process the logic of what she was saying. "You stopped Haruhi from banning Taniguchi from the fashion show? Why?"

"Well, because he's innocent, isn't he? I mean, Koizumi told us how you said that he was just trying to talk big. Which only makes sense, because if he really wanted to spy on us, he wouldn't have told you guys about it, right?" She produced a bright smile, like a sleuth-in-training looking to her senior to confirm that she'd come up with the solution to a crime.

"He told us because he was trying to convince us to come with him. He was dumb enough to think we'd say yes, and if we had, he would have gone ahead with it. That's worse than if he'd just gone to spy on you on his own."

"Oh. Well, anyway, he didn't do it in the end, right? And this fashion show rehearsal was his main reason for coming on this trip, wasn't it?"

"How did you know about that?"

"He told me, on the bus." A sparkling, unshakable smile came over her face. "It's just so cute how excited he's been about it, like a little kid waiting for Christmas. It would be kind of cruel to take that away from him just because of one bad thing that he didn't even pull off. Don't you think?"

"I guess I can see that..."

"Besides, his enthusiasm will be good for the show. We want to gauge people's reactions, right?"

A thought struck me. "Has Haruhi shown you the outfits she's going to make you wear? Usually she goes for stuff that's pretty revealing."

"Yeah, she showed them to me. There's one which is a little more revealing than I'd like, but they're not bad. Asahina gets the worst of it as far as that goes."

I raised an eyebrow. "And you're okay with Taniguchi staring at you while you're wearing that?"

She looped a lock of hair around her finger and grinned. "It'll probably be a little embarrassing, but it's not as if your friend is some kind of pervert. He just comes on too strong. I think he really does respect girls, basically, but because he's so desperate to find a girl who'll make him happy, he ends up bothering them in spite of himself. He's not as shallow as he comes off as sometimes. He just..."

"Oh, hell." A last brick of evidence was dropped onto the wooden plank of assumption, making it crack under the combined weight, and the ton of bricks they call realization came crashing down on my head. "You like him, don't you."

Her grin shattered into a look of dismay. "What? No! I have a boyfriend!"

So? It's not like there's some law of science that you can only be attracted to one person at a time. If what Taniguchi says is true, your boyfriend takes you for granted, and then Taniguchi comes along, lavishing all his attention on you. If you didn't like that sort of thing, you wouldn't be so fond of the idea of me being Haruhi's boyfriend.

"Hey!" Ishigaki's eyes narrowed. "You haven't been encouraging Taniguchi to come onto me, have you?"

It all made sense. It wasn't because she wasn't attracted to him that she wanted Taniguchi to leave her alone. She just didn't want to betray her boyfriend. "No, I've been telling him you're not interested and he should leave you alone. He's just really stubborn." I looked down. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I'm sure you tried your best. But I mean it! I don't like him that way!"

This put me in a heck of a situation. It was one thing to stand in Taniguchi's way when the girl he was pursuing wasn't interested. But now... No, I had to stand firm. If Ishigaki cheated on her boyfriend because of what I did, or didn't do, I could never forgive myself.

"Alright, I'll try talking to him again. But your sticking up for him to Haruhi isn't going to make him any more likely to listen."

"Thanks. And don't worry; I told Suzumiya about it in private, and we both agreed to not say a word about it to anyone." She slipped back out of the tent.

I got up to follow her. As I reached the tent flap, Ishigaki shoved her head back in, nearly giving me a heart attack.

"Hey, I almost forgot! While we were bathing, I told Suzumiya all about how helpful and brave you were when we explored the cave."

I scowled. "What are you talking about? I was more scared than you or Nagato. You pointed that out yourself."

"Okay, I was a little hard on you. The point is, even though you were scared, you overcame your fear to help us and protect us. Isn't that what bravery's all about?"

Good grief. First you're paraphrasing bad romance, now bad action-adventure. How about taking a page from the real world for once? "You'd better not have argued with Haruhi about this."

"Just the opposite. She was really pleased."

"Uh huh. What were her exact words?"

"Um, well, her exact words were 'It's about time he started showing some spirit'. But she grinned when she said it. Like, a big grin. As if she just scored free tickets to World Contact Day."

"I'm thrilled. Now let's go."

She hesitated, but as she wasn't exactly blocking the tent entrance, I slipped past her and headed for the fire pit.

"Hey! You could at least thank me for putting in a good word for you."

"I'm pretty sure I specifically told you I don't want you to do that."

She pulled up alongside me, matching my stride. "I don't get you. You obviously care about her a lot. You don't even try to hide it. So why do you pretend you don't want to be her boyfriend?"

That I didn't try to hide it was true enough, but I wondered how she managed to convince herself that it was obvious. Outside of stories and movies, is it ever obvious when one person cares about another? You just care and that's that. Making a show of it would just embarrass the person you care about. As for being her boyfriend, I'd tried that once and it was a pain in the ass.

But I knew Ishigaki would never listen to that, so I said nothing. Besides, Haruhi and the others were all waiting at the fire pit, and I had no desire to share this conversation with them.

"Okay, everyone!" Haruhi announced. "Now that we're all here, I want the boys to gather in two rows in front of the girls' tent, and the girls to gather inside it. We'll get changed in there, come out the front entrance, walk between the two rows, and circle around to the back of the tent to get changed into the next outfit. And no taking photos. That simple enough for everyone?"

I did wonder why we didn't just meet up in front of the girls' tent in the first place, without the stopover at the fire pit, but overall that was a pretty sane plan by Haruhi standards. Which of course meant that the madness would commence sometime during the show.

The males were in pretty good spirits as we went to our seats, Koizumi and Chisuga debating the various merits of each of the girls' appearance as they sat on one side. Taniguchi sat on the other side, to my right, while Yanami, as quiet as ever, opted to sit at my left.

Taniguchi leaned close to my ear and said, "Hey, guess what?", as though I hadn't just thrown him under the bus for his peeping shenanigans.

I'm not into guessing games, so I said nothing.

Nor did Taniguchi need me to. "Ishigaki defended me in front of Suzumiya. She's the reason why I'm still allowed to watch this show."

I played it cool. "What gave you that idea?"

"I eavesdropped on them, man. Wasn't hard to tell something was up when she pulled Suzumiya aside, so I hid in the brush and listened. Suzumiya wanted me banned, but Ishigaki said let me go." He held a hand to his heart. "And you said I have no power over women!"

Not exactly what I said, and entirely not the point.

"Well, joke's on you. She clearly is interested in dumping her boyfriend for me, since she wants me watching her as much as I want to watch."

"Hasn't it occurred to you," I said, "...that maybe she honestly believes you're innocent? And she only defended you because she feels sorry for you?"

"Ha! If she still thinks I'm innocent after all four of you guys testified against me, she must be totally in love with me."

Right, of course Taniguchi would never consider that someone might realize he was all talk and no peep. "Whether or not she's in love with you, Ishigaki is still saying she doesn't want you bothering her. So you'd better not leer at her during the show."

"What do I care what you think? You're not on my side anymore."

So I guess you opened up the whole topic of conversation with me just because you don't care what I think.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen!" Haruhi's voice came from inside the tent. There were only gentlemen and some bottom feeders in the audience, but I guess the real show which they were rehearsing for would have some ladies too. "Let the show begin! First up, Miss Tsuruya is modeling a lovely spring ensemble."

As Haruhi finished speaking, Tsuruya pushed aside the tent flaps and strode out wearing a short-sleeved white blouse with ruffles in all the right places and a waistline that fell just low enough to cover her belly button, giving a teasing view of her midriff between the blouse and the tight-fitting pants. She also showcased what had to be the first case of someone wearing high heels on a camping site. Neither the pants nor the high heels inhibited her movement at all, though; she walked down between the five of us with perfect grace and confidence.

Tsuruya really was a good person to start with. She wasn't shy like Miss Asahina, or rigid like Nagato, or haughty like Haruhi; she strutted between us with bright confidence in both herself and her attire, utterly defying any foolish notions that there was anything odd or ridiculous about modeling clothing on a campground. It served as an opening salvo to dispel any awkwardness anyone might feel about the event.

When Tsuruya finished her walk between us and went into the back of the tent, it felt too soon. "Next, we have Yui – er, Miss Ishigaki, in classic archaeologist's gear, ready for adventure!"

I don't know about it being archaeologist's gear, but Ishigaki definitely looked ready for adventure. She had on a rugged vest over a muddied tank top, with a many-pocketed pair of shorts, brown boots on her feet, and a fedora on her head. Yes, I really mean muddied; Haruhi must have dunked it in a dirty puddle in between catching fish. As Ishigaki passed by me, I took notice of two things: One, while she wasn't as boldly confident as Tsuruya, and maybe was even a bit nervous, she was enjoying herself. As I'd thought, Tsuruya had broken the ice. Two, the number of pockets on those shorts really was ridiculous. It was as if someone had torn off every pocket of every article of clothing in a thrift store and sewed them all onto this one pair of shorts.

Taniguchi, on the other hand, noticed only one thing. He nudged me with his elbow. "She's got great legs, doesn't she?"

"I thought you said you don't care what I think."

"Huh? Man, it was a rhetorical question."

"Then don't stick your elbow in my side, thank you."

Haruhi's voice again rang forth from the tent: "And now Miss Nagato, exhibiting the 'Captive Angel' look!"

Nagato emerged from the tent in an outfit that was... er... not normal. I recognized the web-like patterns on the sleeves well enough to know that I'd been present when this outfit was being created, but I could never visualize what the whole thing would look like when worn by a person. The sleeves were so broad as to resemble a priestess's robes, yet the main dress's corset-like binding and black-and-white color scheme suggested more of a Gothic Lolita look. And bows were everywhere: a half-dozen of them running up the middle of the skirt, one around each of her ears, and one wrapped three times around her neck, adding a hint of bondage to the mix of clashing styles.

It was an outfit suited only for, well, an alien. I wondered if Haruhi's intuition had guided her clothing designs in the same way as it had guided her casting of roles for the SOS Brigade's film.

At least Nagato seemed perfectly comfortable with it. She walked as though her clothes were as irrelevant to her as flies to the train whose windows they were splattered on. Come to think of it, that was how she always walked. Her North High uniform seemed as meaningless to her as anything Haruhi made her wear. Maybe looks in general were unimportant to her.

"Wow," Taniguchi remarked as he clapped. "It's completely weird, but it actually works for her."

"Yes," Yanami said softly. I glanced at him, and saw he was looking with rapt attention – not at Nagato's clothing, but at her face. He was probably wondering how she could maintain such calm and dignity while wearing that crazy outfit.

Actually, they weren't wrong. Looking at her again, I had to agree that Nagato looked great. I hoped Haruhi wasn't thinking that she, or anyone, would want to wear that anywhere but a fashion show or anime convention, though.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, the star you've all been waiting for... Revealing the future look of the spacefaring adventurer... Ms. Mikuru Asahina!"

Miss Asahina peeped her head out from the tent, nervously sizing up her audience. Then she yelped and stumbled out, presumably in response to an unsympathetic shove from behind. Even with three girls having gone out before her, her nervousness was understandable, as her outfit left little to the imagination. Sensibly for an adventurer, she had on pants rather than a skirt, but the bare strips crisscrossing the pant legs had no apparent practical value. The top was essentially two sashes of cloth forming an "x" across her front, leaving her arms and stomach almost entirely bare, and the fabric reflected much of the underlying topography of her protrusions.

Miss Asahina wearing revealing outfits was nothing new in the SOS Brigade, but this was yet another new angle on that theme, so I think I was as astonished as Chisuga, Yanami, and Taniguchi. In any case, I wanted to encourage her, so I gave her extra loud applause.

To her credit, she pulled herself together and walked forward with a blush that served only to elevate her cuteness. To my relief, all the guys, even Taniguchi, restrained themselves to simple clapping and cheers. I confess I had to restrain some darker urges when I saw how the "x" shifted and reformed as she walked.

As she turned around, she managed an easy smile just before she tripped and fell, landing right on Chisuga. The lucky guy inadvertently got a full armful of Miss Asahina. For a moment that aroused another set of darker urges in me, but then I remembered what happened last night and realized that even if it were me that Miss Asahina fell on, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy it.

At any rate, Chisuga wasn't interested in taking advantage of the situation (at least not when four other guys were looking on and a hyper-protective brigade chief was just an earshot away) so he helpfully pushed Miss Asahina back up to her feet. She glanced my way before heading to the back of the tent, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do or say.

"Ahem!" Now it was Ishigaki's voice coming from the tent. "Next, we have a special treat, as the leader of the SOS Brigade herself is modeling our next ensemble, a chic new look for the confident and commanding partygoer."

That was different. Usually, Haruhi announced herself. Even when we performed with the band, she always introduced herself to the audience along with the other band members. She had no shame about tooting her own horn, and in fact, I would have said she'd object to anyone tooting it for her, saying they'd mess it up. But she'd trusted Ishigaki to not mess it up. That was a hopeful sign.

Haruhi stepped out of the tent, and...

Well, I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. Maybe something more modest. Haruhi wasn't the sort to flaunt her body – at least, not unless it was for a specific purpose, like the bunny girl costume when she handed out flyers, or her rock band costume. She spent far more time on Miss Asahina's clothing, hair, and overall appearance than she did on her own. It was as if, from her perspective, her own looks didn't exist, and she was purely an intellectual being. I guess I often perceived her as purely intellectual myself. The fact that she was good-looking usually didn't matter.

Right now it mattered, though. Haruhi was wearing a dark red tube top that was small enough to show her belly button, not that I spent any amount of time looking particularly at that. Layered over it, and extended down to her waist, was a gossamer see-through material that seemed somehow to highlight her creamy skin tone. A close-fitting black skirt came down to just below her knees, and had a studded belt draped around it. She'd even added a white rose in her hair, which teamed with her yellow ribbon to perfectly compliment her hair and face.

Though the outfit showed a bit more skin than her usual, it was more bold than revealing. It displayed her rediscovered pride in herself, just as this fashion show as a whole, I suppose, displayed her budding ability to lead and organize responsibly. Any girl would want a fashion show with her friends, but it took an adult to organize it, especially to the extent that she had. She'd taken control of us, of this entire operation, not only because she was bossy, but because she knew what to do.

As she passed by me, our eyes met. Her eyes held mine for a moment, then released them, like a cat letting a mouse go so that she could play with it some more. And it hit me that I hadn't been applauding, as I had done for all the other girls. I hastily started clapping, afraid that the deviation would be noticed. Besides, she did look great.

I glanced over at Koizumi. He was clapping as well, but also looking at me with strong disapproval. I had just done exactly the example he had told me to avoid.

Well, whatever. I wasn't going to walk on eggshells around Haruhi.

The girls all modeled at least one other outfit each. Costumes from other occasions appeared in the show: Miss Asahina again wore the dreaded combat waitress outfit, Nagato came out in a swimsuit that I'm sure I'd seen her wearing this past summer (though perhaps not this particular iteration of this past summer), and Tsuruya gave a bunny outfit a try. Taniguchi loudly voiced his approval for that last one, and nudging me with his elbow again, expressed hope that Ishigaki would come out as a bunny girl as well.

It was not to be; instead, Haruhi thought it appropriate to send Ishigaki out in "cavewoman" attire, wearing a loincloth and top made of fake animal furs. Taniguchi didn't seem disappointed.

For the grand finale, all five of the girls came out together wearing kimonos. Taniguchi slumped in disappointment, no doubt having expected Haruhi to finish by having everyone top their previous amount of skin exposure, but I personally could not have been more pleased. The dignity of a kimono was well-suited to all five of them; Miss Asahina seemed less mortified than she had in any of her previous outfits, Nagato was even more of a lovely china doll than ever, Ishigaki looked smart and eloquent, Tsuruya had assumed a coy look, and Haruhi looked like the consummate lady of the manor.

I joined Koizumi, Chisuga, and Yanami in giving enthusiastic applause. The girls gave a beautiful synchronized bow and processed back into the tent. It had all gone off, I realized, without any interference from Goro Mishima. Had his threat been nothing but a bluff all along? Had he simply been trying to unnerve me and Koizumi?

The other guys started talking about the show and what they thought of it. I might have joined them, but my attention was caught by Haruhi and Nagato emerging from the tent, still in their kimonos, and proceeding to the fire pit. I got up and followed them.

They had started on cooking up a curry for dinner. As I got close, Haruhi's head snapped towards me. "What are you doing?" she demanded.

"I just wanted to -"

"Go back and talk with the other boys. We'll have dinner ready for you in just a few minutes. The kitchen is no place for boys."

This isn't a kitchen.

"Go!" She hefted a cooking pan at me in warning.

I scampered off. She was the consummate lady of the manor, alright: as bright and warm and energizing as sunshine when you did what she wanted, and a stern and punishing taskmaster when you stepped out of line. Honestly, I just wanted to congratulate them on the show. And maybe make sure she didn't misunderstand why I was staring at her.

I sat down with the other guys as ordered. It was what I was planning to do after congratulating them, anyway.

Several minutes later, Miss Asahina came out of the tent once again wearing her white dress and demure light blue blouse. Tsuruya and Ishigaki likewise changed back into their regular clothes. We all had high praise for their performances at the show, but Taniguchi particularly focused laud on Ishigaki.

"It was a perfect outfit for you. Seriously, you should wear shorts more often. You've really got it going on down there."

The confidence Ishigaki had shown on the runway dissolved, and her cheeks went pink. She glanced at me helplessly.

Enough was enough. I put a hand on Taniguchi's shoulder. "Hey. Leave her alone."

He gawped at me. "What's with you? I was complimenting her!"

Complimenting her legs, you mean. Why don't you chat her up about her cup size while you're at it. "You're obviously making her uncomfortable. Bother someone else."

"Or what, you're going to make me?" He shoved me away from him. "Just because you bombed out with Suzumiya, you have to try and ruin my chances with a girl, huh?"

That just about did it. I grabbed the front of Taniguchi's t-shirt and decided to deliver him one final warning.

Then Koizumi grabbed my arm and stuck his face close to mine. "Calm down. Do you really want Miss Suzumiya to see you fighting over another girl?"

Sometimes I felt like Koizumi really didn't know Haruhi at all. Even Haruhi wasn't dense enough to think that Ishigaki was my type. If anything, she'd thank me for stopping Taniguchi from hitting on her friend. Well, she wouldn't actually thank me, but you know what I mean.

Still, Koizumi's interference did make me pause long enough to notice that Ishigaki's eyes had widened with dismay at the prospect of me and Taniguchi coming to blows. Meeting my gaze, she shook her head frantically.

It also hit me why Taniguchi was trying to pick a fight. He was stubborn, but not stubborn enough to overlook that he was getting nowhere with Ishigaki. The stupid jerk was just venting his frustration. With a derisive snort, I let go of his t-shirt and walked away.

What idiocy. I was willing to fight with Taniguchi because yeah, he was my friend, but not over something as stupid as this.

Maybe I'd patrol the campsite. See if I could spot Goro Mishima lurking around. Check for indications that Haruhi's powers were making mischief. Possibly find evidence that Chisuga is a member of the agency. Or maybe even catch an alien, just so I could enjoy the absurdity of hauling a real live alien before Haruhi and having her respond, "I told you not to bother me when I'm cooking!"

But my plans were interrupted by Taniguchi running up and slapping me on the back. "Hey, man, sorry I threw that rebuff from Suzumiya in your face. I've been where you're at, so I know how that sucks."

I glared at him. "You don't know anything. That's what pisses me off. All that happened was I tried to thank Haruhi for the show and she shooed me away because she was cooking dinner, and you assumed I was asking her out or something."

"Wait, really?"

"Really. Why do you have to think everything has to do with romance? Maybe if you tried to talk to girls like Ishigaki as a friend for a change, they would like you better."

"Ah, what do you know?" He took his hand off my back. "You've been sitting in front of Suzumiya for a year, and been in her club for almost as long, and you're still stuck at being friends with her. You'll never get anywhere if you don't lay your heart on the line."

"You'll never get anywhere if all you do is talk about her legs."

"Ah, whatever." He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "The point is, I'm sorry I made you angry. Okay?"

A flash of insight hit me. "You're apologizing because Ishigaki told you to, aren't you."

"Why would you even think that?"

I smirked. "You learn things when you actually listen to girls. The last thing Ishigaki would want is to start a fight between us. She even apologized to me for not wanting to be your girlfriend. She doesn't like you that way, but she doesn't want to hurt you. So she told you to make up with me, and of course you said yes."

"Alright, so she told me to apologize. So what?"

I made a snapping motion with my fist. "Wuh - tsssh."

"Real cute." He scowled.

"Hey!" Haruhi shouted. "Where do you guys think you're going? Dinner's ready!"

We gathered around the fire pit for dinner, even though daylight had only just begun to fade. Haruhi and Nagato had done a magnificent job with the curry, and despite the brief altercation earlier, the conversation was lively and easy. The ten of us had gotten to know each other the past day and a half, not like close friends, but at least like friendly acquaintances who were comfortable in each other's presence. And the show had certainly brightened everyone's mood.

Taniguchi even took a break from crowding Ishigaki. Maybe I'd finally gotten through to him. I caught Ishigaki sending furtive glances his way a couple of times, though, which was a bit worrying, even if Taniguchi himself was too oblivious to notice.

As to be expected, Haruhi scarfed her curry down in about two minutes, and after chatting for a bit with everyone about the fixes she was planning to make for the actual fashion show, she said she was going for a walk.

At some point, Tsuruya proposed a singalong, and just about everyone joined in. Even Yanami was mumbling the melody. I was almost finished with my curry anyway, so I quickly polished off my meal and excused myself from the amateur musical.

Koizumi caught my arm. "Where are you going?"

"I'm taking a walk to settle my stomach," I said.

"You're not going to talk to Miss Suzumiya, are you?"

"I guess I might bump into her."

He gave me a wry smile. "That's what I thought. Having another of your evening conversations with her now would be even worse than what you did during the show."

"You can't decide every aspect of Haruhi's life for her based on the fear that it might make her powers go out of control."

"They already are out of control. She's shifted around tectonic plates for you. Another push could result in a display of reality alteration that Miss Suzumiya herself cannot ignore. You must maintain your distance."

"I'll be careful."

"You can be careful," Koizumi pressed, his voice becoming more stern, "...by staying away from Miss Suzumiya."

So that's how it is.

I jerked my arm free of Koizumi's grip, and giving him a look, I headed off on my walk.

He was jealous. I'd known that for a while, but I preferred not to think about it, and usually he was mature enough about it that I didn't have to. Before now, I don't think his jealousy had ever influenced his actions. And it was so stupid, because he had no grounds to be jealous. Haruhi had made him her deputy chief, and she praised him at every turn. Okay, so she'd sort of reversed those roles at the beginning of this trip, complimenting my work while reprimanding him for his lack of a mystery scenario. But that was hardly enough reason to think that I was Haruhi's new number one.

Anyway, it didn't really matter if he had reason to be jealous, or even if he had real reason to think that my talking to Haruhi would cause a catastrophic display of her powers. I was sick of him trying to run my life and Haruhi's life. If Haruhi being happy might blow up the world, I'd still say, let her be happy. She might be selfish, and reckless, and at times even callous, but she deserved a chance at happiness like anyone else. We could hardly call ourselves her friends if we were willing to take that away from her.

I was so lost in thought that I paid no attention to where I was going, even as the tangle of branches slapped at my face and legs. I was starting to wish I had worn long pants, though. When I recovered enough of my peace of mind to pay any attention to my location, I was near the lake shore. I stumbled towards it, if only because the shore was mostly clear of things which prickled and poked you.

"Do you have to be so noisy?"

Note that I did say "mostly".

Haruhi was laid out on the ground, arms resting at her sides. She was looking up at the sky, as though waiting.

She didn't look angry, but I still offered her a halfhearted "Sorry," as I took a seat beside her.

We were quiet for a few moments. The sun was going down, making the evening dim and cool. I didn't have a flashlight with me, but I could easily see the campfire from where we were, so I figured we didn't need to worry about heading back before it got dark. It was a good time of day to just relax. I rested my arms on my bent knees.

"Aren't you getting your kimono dirty?" I asked.

"I'm going to wash it anyway," she said. "There's not much point in being obsessive about cleanliness, you know?"

"I guess not," I admitted.

We were quiet again. It was funny how the kimono was so conservative and dignified, yet at the same time suggestive of intimacy. It was like she'd just come out of the shower or something.

"So what did you think?" she asked.

Oops. I belatedly remembered last night's lesson. "The curry was delicious."

"Not that," she said impatiently. "The show."

I was surprised. "I thought you could always tell for yourself whether something was great or awful."

"Of course I can. But I want to hear your opinion."

"It was great." I looked across the serene surface of the lake. "We had a lot of unique designs. You gave the outfits to girls who were suited to them. It was all really well-organized. Everyone had a good time." I hesitated, then went ahead with my one criticism: "But did you have to force Miss Asahina to wear such revealing outfits?"

"What are you talking about? Mikuru has a perfect body. She should wear clothes that show it off to best advantage."

"That's easy for you to say. You'd run around naked if you thought you could get something out of it. But Miss Asahina isn't comfortable in those sorts of clothes."

"Then she needs to learn confidence. She's got huge potential to be a famous pop idol, or an actress, or a fashion model, but nobody's going to notice her if she doesn't believe in herself."

"Forcing people to be uncomfortable just makes them lose confidence. Every time you make her wear clothes that show off more skin than she's comfortable with, it makes her feel humiliated, like she's being whored out and has no control over how people see her. You need to take it more slowly with her."

"Who asked you?" she snapped.

Just sharing my opinion. Since you supposedly wanted to hear it.

"Hmmph. Anyway, it's too late to make a whole set of new outfits for Mikuru, or even buy them."

"You could at least drop out the waitress costume. Everyone's already seen her in that one, anyway."

"We need to raise awareness for the sequel! That's important cross-promotion!"

Good grief. And I'd begun to think we'd heard the last of that particular nightmare. "Well, swap one of those outfits out, anyway. You must have at least one outfit that would work for her without making her uncomfortable."

She was silent for a few moments. "...I'll think about it."

Well, that was refreshing to hear.

"By the way," I said. "I'm sorry I stared at you during the show. It didn't have anything to do with the way you looked. I just..."

"What?"

Let me finish my sentence, and you'll find out. "I just realized that you've changed since I first met you."

She sniffed with amusement. "I was wondering when you'd notice."

"Well..." I smiled. "Anyway, it's a good change."

I looked over at her, but she had tilted her face away from me, back towards the campfire, and she wasn't wearing any particular expression. Maybe she hadn't heard what I said. Haruhi just stopped listening at odd times.

Then she said, "Tell me about your parents."

I blinked. "What?"

"About a month ago I introduced you to my mom, but you still haven't even told me a thing about your parents. I've told you before, I'm not telling you things about me if you won't share the same things about yourself."

"Is this about you wanting us to be more than friends, more than lovers, more than any two people have been in all of history?"

"Ugh, you're still thinking about that?"

Kind of a hard thing to forget.

"Well, you should forget it. I didn't really mean that; I was just thinking out loud. All I really meant was that I wanted our relationship to be more interesting. Part of that is you not telling me things that you should be telling me. So, spill everything you've got on your parents."

"I'd really rather not talk about them."

"Why?" Her interest sounded piqued. "Are they abusive? Will they not let you follow your dream career? Do they embarrass you with their eccentric antics?"

"Worse. They're boring." I leaned back, supporting myself with my elbows. "My mom's a nurse. She works at the hospital all evening and night. A lot of the time she's gone to work before I get home, and doesn't get back until after I go to school in the morning. Most of the rest of the time, she's sleeping when I get home. And when I see her, it's not like I know what to say to her, anyway."

"What, is she all stiff and traumatized from her work at the hospital?"

"No. She's pretty nice, I guess. We just don't have anything to talk about. The only thing she's interested in hearing about are my grades."

"Which suck, so you don't like to talk to her about them, right?"

"Do you want me to tell you about my parents, or do you want to tell me about them?"

"Well, I'm right, aren't I?"

Nice motivation technique. "You're right that I don't like talking to her about my grades. But they don't 'suck'. They're average." She gave a snort that seemed to say that being average was, by definition, sucking. "Anyway, my dad is a traveling salesman, so I don't get to talk to him much at all."

"Doesn't he ever come home from his travels?"

"Sure, but..." I paused to swat away an insect. "I don't know. His travel stories are just dull. He visits all these places, but all he does there is talk to potential buyers. He never goes anywhere really interesting, either. He hardly even leaves this prefecture, never mind the country."

"There are lots of interesting places even in Japan. You just don't see it because you're so boring."

"Yeah, well, to hear my dad talk about it, the only interesting things anywhere are clients and golf courses. When I tell him the stuff we do in the SOS Brigade, he just nods his head and that's all. He thinks life is supposed to be dull."

"Hrmm." She folded her arms. "Nice try."

"What?"

Haruhi glared over at me. "Your mom has a job saving people's lives, your dad travels all around Japan, and you're telling me your parents are boring? Obviously you're just trying to talk your way out of introducing me to them."

If I had a thousand years to spare, I still doubt I'd be able to unravel Haruhi's stretches of logic. "I'm obviously just trying to tell you what my parents are like. Who said anything about introducing them? And anyway, how am I supposed to introduce..."

I stopped.

"What?" Haruhi prodded.

"What are all these weird lights?"

"Fireflies," she answered, without even bothering to sit up and look.

"That's what I thought at first, but they aren't strobing. Besides, I've never seen fireflies this color."

Haruhi sat up. "Oh, weird," she said. "They don't even move like fireflies."

That was true. They were about five meters away from us, but even from that distance we could see how steady their movements were, more like searchlights than the fluttering about of fireflies. They were strange, bright white little pinpricks which moved about each other like a graphic model of the solar system.

We both got to our feet. Haruhi cupped her hands around her mouth and bellowed at the top of her lungs, "Paranormal phenomenon spotted! SOS Brigade, assemble!"

Oh man, I hope no one else is camping nearby.

"What's taking them so long?" she grumbled, not five seconds later. "You stay here and keep an eye on the lights. I'll go find everyone."

I ask you to forgive me for not giving a detailed account of the next five minutes. Standing around making sure a bunch of strange lights didn't go anywhere while Haruhi crashed around the woods yelling "Paranormal phenomenon spotted! SOS Brigade, assemble!" over and over was painfully awkward enough to live through, even by the standards of someone who's lived much of their life under Haruhi's thumb. I'd rather not go back and revisit it.

Anyway, when the five minutes were over, Haruhi had collected all ten of our strange group, except for Chisuga, who had wandered off earlier and now couldn't be found. We looked at the lights in shared perplexity. Koizumi and Ishigaki both had flashlights, but their illumination only confirmed that the objects of our curiosity seemed to be pure light, with no twinkling insects to create them.

"I must admit I've never seen the like," Koizumi said.

"Me neither," Tsuruya added, and giggled.

"This really is a trip for strange discoveries," Ishigaki said, snapping photos with her phone.

Ishigaki's remark triggered a suspicion. Could these be another manifestation of Haruhi's power? "Nagato," I whispered. "What are they?"

"Discrete projections from a photonic, inorganic manifold."

Well, that's helpful. "Can't you put that in simpler terms?"

"That won't help you," Yanami spoke up. He'd been hanging close to Nagato, and she hadn't whispered her response, so he was in on the conversation now. "She's being too vague. Miss Nagato, do you have any idea who or what is causing those projections? Can you identify the intelligence behind their behavior, or the projecting device?"

"I am observing," she said.

Great. Now I had direct evidence that Yanami was better at conversing with Nagato than I was.

I tried the second most reliable SOS Brigade member. "Koizumi, could Haruhi have created these?" No answer. "Koizumi?"

It was pretty dark out by now, but looking closer, from the light cast by the campfire, the mysterious lights, and Ishigaki's flashlight, I could see that his eyes were closed and his head bowed, as though he'd withdrawn into himself.

"They're so pretty," Miss Asahina remarked. "I almost feel... Oh? How... how wonderful."

"What is?" I asked. Frankly, they seemed more eerie and mysterious than wonderful to me.

"I feel... as though... they're... calling me."

Saying this, Miss Asahina took a step forward.

"I don't hear anything." I looked around with suspicion, but it was too dark to see anything but those mysterious lights shining at us.

"Hey, Mikuru! Don't wander off from the group!" Haruhi yelled.

Our campground angel just kept walking towards the lights, not saying anything.

Oh, boy. Miss Asahina disobeying a direct order from Haruhi? Something is way beyond wrong here.

I strode after her, calling her name, not really sure what I was going to do. I couldn't actually grab her by the arm, could I? Everyone would think I was a pervert or something. But Koizumi was just standing there with his head bowed like he was praying, Nagato was observing, and the others naturally had no clue that Miss Asahina might be in actual peril. Taniguchi was putting his arm around Ishigaki; I guess he thought this was just another opportunity to score. Somebody had to actually do something.

"Kyon! Not you, too! Get back here, both of you!"

"Miss Asahina!" I came within reach of her. She still was ignoring my calls. The lights were so bright at this range, I could barely see a thing. Just her long radiant hair fluttering before me like a signal. I reached out to grab hold of her...

...and my hand grasped empty air. I waved my arms around in the area where I was certain Miss Asahina had been, but there was nothing there.

Before I could even begin to process that, there was a strange roaring sound – like a hundred industrial fans all turned on high, with a constant stream of coins being dropped into them. The lights became even brighter.

And then – they were gone.

Blinking my eyes to readjust to the darkness, I looked around, and saw no sign of Miss Asahina. Just Haruhi and Koizumi, who had run up to stand beside me.

"Kyon..." Haruhi said, and I wouldn't be able to tell you what percentage of her voice was concern and what percentage was excitement. "Do you realize what this means? Mikuru has been abducted by aliens!"

Author's notes: Honestly, if I had known from the start that it would take this long to get to this part of the story, I would have thought twice about using the en media res opening. Anyway, we're in the final act now, with just two chapters and an epilogue left.

If my descriptive powers were good enough, some of you may recognize that I nicked two of the outfits in the fashion show from the manga story "Knowing Me, Knowing You". Since I generally don't incorporate continuity from the manga stories, and since "Knowing Me, Knowing You" is one of the few manga stories which is outright incompatible with the continuity of the light novels and TV series, I figured it couldn't hurt to have this be the first time that Kyon sees the girls in those outfits.