I stared down at the meal in my hands, refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I tried to make sense of today. Which part of all this was I even supposed to react to? I was stunned into complete silence after Rumia turned noclip on and t-posed her way the whole way here. She seemed perfectly fine with holding up the conversation by herself, which I was thankful for. She mainly talked about her other friends, who are also youkai. I might have been a little skeptical of those claims before today, but Rumia's flying was very convincing.

So. Youkai are real. Fact established, moving on now.

Luckily, I made my peace with my new worldview before reaching the food stand run by a girl named Mystia, with bird wings and bird… ears? I wasn't sure what they're called. Somehow, this was less surprising than being given a skewer of lamprey. I guess I don't have anything against lamprey, but that's such an oddly specific thing to create a business around. Where does she even get them? More importantly, were all youkai this cute? It's a little hard to reconcile the image I had of Japanese boogeymen with these cute girls.

Wait just a second. Waking up in a strange place and surrounded by cute inhuman girls that don't mind being around me for extended periods of time… Shit, I'm in an isekai! I don't remember getting hit by a truck, but memory loss is a perfectly normal symptom of vehicular manslaughter! I hadn't experienced any sudden power-ups, secret organizations, or horrible prose, so it probably wasn't one of Zaimokuza's, but it was too soon to know for sure. I had to be very careful. I'd rather die than live through one of Zaimokuza's power fantasy escapes from reality.

Moving on from that horrifying train of thought, my biggest problem was that nobody seems to think I'm human. What was it about my appearance that led to that conclusion? My only point of reference here is Rumia and Mystia, who are both extraordinarily cute. I can't imagine there's much of a resemblance between us. What was it that guard had said? Something about my eyes being inhuman? I had thought he was insulting me, but he truly believed I was a man-eating monster. If he hadn't been so clearly terrified, I would be pissed as hell. Actually, no, I was still pissed off. Those stupid bastards left me to die because of my damn eyes! I have it on good faith from my little sister that my eyes are only 'sort of creepy' to look at!

I looked over at Rumia to compare eyes, only to find that she had been staring at me the whole time without blinking. Her smile grew when I looked her way and she took a large bite out of her food, skewer and all. Hm. You know, that whole youkai thing is starting to make a bit more sense now. "Are you done pouting?" She asked. Pouting? Oh! She thought I was quiet because I was still upset over that thing with the guards. Well, I guess she wasn't wrong. Bastards. "Cheer up! It definitely would have worked if those guys weren't so on edge." She patted my shoulder. Ahhh, my natural predator can't be this cute!

"She's right, you know." Mystia chimed in from behind the counter. "Your disguise is seriously good! You even smell like a human!" Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I can't smell great after the day I had. "If it wasn't for your eyes, then I doubt anyone would ever think you're a youkai at all." Shit, I really was a failure as a human then. Yukinoshita must never know about this.

"…so, it really is the eyes then." I said more to myself than her as I took a bite out of the lamprey skewer. Hey, these are actually pretty tasty! Then again, anything would taste good if it was cooked by a beautiful girl that isn't Yuigahama. "I know they look like they belong to a dead fish, but I thought they at least still looked human." I grumbled as I continued picking the lamprey skewer clean. Mystia seemed confused by my complaints.

"Dead fish…? Oh! I didn't even notice it, but you're right! Wow, that's really creepy!" She laughed. Come on, at least be subtle about it! "That's not quite what I meant, though. Hmm… how do I explain it?" She tapped her fingernails, which were more like claws, on the counter. "It's not… so much how your eyes look, as it is the look in your eyes that gives it away." She said as if she wasn't sure of what she was saying. "Does that make sense?" She asked.

"Mm… Sort of. Actually, no. Not at all." I admitted. Mystia just folded her arms and thought about how to say it but didn't seem to have much luck. Luckily, Rumia chimed in from next to me.

"Yeah, I get it~! I've seen lots and lots and lots of humans in the forest, you know? Most of them were outsiders, but sometimes villagers wander in too. They aren't always scared, not at first anyways, but they're always surprised!" She laughed. "Well, not really 'surprised'. Hmmmm…" She closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side in thought. Absolutely adorable. "It's more like they never expect to see me. The villagers panic when they see me because they know who I am, but outsiders panic when they see me too, even though they don't know about youkai! Don't you think that's strange~?" She asks, clearly not expecting an answer. "I thought so at first, but I get it now. To them, I'm a cute little girl that looks completely at home in the middle of some creepy woods. It's out of place! Humans think they just know how the world works, so they fall apart when you show them something that doesn't fit."

"Haa~, I know what you mean." Mystia sighed. "It's so hard drawing in human customers, even though I stopped eating them ages ago." You were eating your customers?! No wonder they stopped coming! She pointed at me. "But you didn't even react. You had that 'Ah, that's just how it is then' sort of look. If you were really a human, you would have had some kind of reaction." Is that really all it was? I think I was plenty disturbed, though. "Plus, you had Rumia with you. She's not exactly the kind of youkai to bond with humans." That makes a bit more sense.

"Yeah!" Rumia cheered. "That's exactly it! You didn't panic at all when you saw me, even though I was totally about to eat you!" Internal screaming. "You really had me fooled at first! Oh, but hey, that reminds me. Why do your hands keep twitching when you look at me?" She asked with a head tilt.

"So hey, Mystia! This lamprey is great! Do you sell anything else?" Mystia smiled knowingly at my panicked subject change, but thankfully didn't call attention to it.

"Now that you mention it, I just got a shipment from the tengu earlier this morning!" She reached under the counter and placed a large bottle of sake and a cup between us. "Since it's your first time here, the first one's on the house." She winked and poured a reasonable amount into the cup and handed it to me. For a moment, all I did was stare at it. Anyone who knows me may disagree, but I'm an upstanding Japanese citizen, and that means respecting the legal drinking age. Then again, today really had been a long day. One drink to take the edge off couldn't hurt, right?

"Youth is a fucking lie!" I slurred, almost shouting as I banged my hand against the counter. "Just a bunch of shitty adults telling you to lap up whatever shit they give you, so they can feel better about their shitty lives! 'Oh, those were the days.' They'll say. 'These are the best years of your life.' They'll say! Bullshit! It's all complete bullshit, you hear me?! Don't fall for their lies, Rumia!" I turned only to be greeted by an empty barstool. "…where did Rumia go?" Mystia groaned and answered without picking her head up from where it rested on the counter.

"She left an hour ago… I desperately wish I had gone with her." She groaned out. Well, even I knew I had been rambling on for a while. She was actually being a pretty good sport about it all.

"Thanks for being so nice to me, Mystia. You're a nice girl." I said as sincerely as I could.

She finally picked up her head and gave me a sigh and a tired smile. "That's… sweet of you to say, but-"

"I hate nice girls! Always telling you one thing and then telling other people the same thing, but it's all shit!" Mystia groaned again and let her head fall back to the counter and mumbled something about 'Oh no, he's back on this one again…'. "You can't trust them! One second they're saying you're funny, and the next they're refusing to make eye contact with you in the hallway and telling their friends that you stole their swimsuit!" Mystia picked her head up and looked at me with tears in the corners of her eyes.

"Yeah. Right. I agree completely with whatever you're saying. So hey, I've got a… thing, so I've really got to-" She tried to say before an unfamiliar voice interrupted her.

"Oho? What's going on over here?" Mystia looked up to see the newcomer had sat down on the stool to my right. "Man, I could hear this guy from way over there. What's his deal?" When Mystia finally realized who it was, she groaned and let her head fall back to the counter, then again, and then again. Finally, she responded to the newcomer.

"…He's drunk and won't shut up about how everyone is stupid except for him." She grit out. I should have been offended, but even I admit that's a pretty accurate summary of my drunken rants.

"Sounds fun! How much did you give him?" She laughed and took a drink from a purple gourd tied to her hip.

"One! He had one cup, and he didn't even pay for it! I'm supposed to trick him into buying more once he's a little buzzed, but he's so annoying after one drink that I'm afraid to give him more!" She complained.

"One cup?! Ahaha! Geez, you're a total lightweight, huh pal?" The girl laughed and roughly patted me on the back. Since when were we pals?!

"…Shut up. I'm just inexperienced, is all. I'm a model student! A model student!" I stated it twice for emphasis. "I just never had any reason to drink before, that's all." She gasped and then grinned from ear to ear.

"It's your first time?! And you're spending it alone in this dump?!" She exclaimed. Mystia squawked in displeasure, but we both ignored her. "Nuh-uh, no way! We're doing this right, and I'm gonna help you do it!" She stuck her hand in front of my face, the chains on her wrist clinking quietly as she did. "Name's Ibuki Suika! Put 'er there!" She chirped, happy grin not falling at all.

What was with this girl? I frowned and shook her hand. "…Hikigaya Hachiman." She laughed, not at all displeased by my brusque demeanor. She pulled out the gourd once more and popped the cork from the top, took a long pull from the mouth, and then slammed it down in front of me.

"Nice to meet ya, Hachiman! Now drink up!" She gave me another dopey grin, slightly flushed this time. I stared at the gourd for a moment, then shrugged. If this was my old self, I'd be blushing up a storm about secondhand kisses or some nonsense. I grabbed the gourd, braced myself for the burn of strong alcohol, then took a swig and was pleasantly surprised. It had a hint of flowers and fruit to it that caused me to drink far more than I originally intended. I guess someone that carries booze with them wherever they go knows their stuff.

"…Wow. That's actually pretty good." Suika puffed her chest out in pride, as if complimenting her alcohol was the same as complimenting her. "And dangerous. I could probably finish off this whole bottle without even realizing it." Suika laughed like I'd just told the funniest joke in the world.

"I don't think we have to worry about that… but I'd love to see you try." She said while wiping a tear from her eye.

Mystia silently began to cry.

It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize the gourd wasn't getting any lighter. By that point, my fate was already sealed. I was holding up remarkably well, considering how quickly I went from sober to drunk after that first cup. Mystia had passed out ages ago when Suika bullied her into drinking.

"How does that even work, anyways?" I gaped at her. "…What happens if it spills? Does it just pour out forever?" I was genuinely worried about the environmental effects this thing could have.

"I would never let that happen!" She cried. "That would be such a waste!" She paused for a second. "I did try to fill up a tub once to bathe in it… but it took too long, so I got bored and drank it all." I shook my head.

"That shouldn't make me feel better, but somehow it does…" I took another drink. I really should have stopped by this point, but I just couldn't help myself. "Although… that might be the booze talking." I was being far chattier than usual. Part of that was the booze, but I think it was mostly just Suika being easy to talk to. Granted, Suika was doing most of the talking, but the point stood.

"Ahahaha! There's nothing wrong with that! Alcohol makes people honest! That's part of what I like about drinking with new people." Her smile looked a bit wistful and her gaze turned a bit unfocused as she gazed at the sky. At some point, we had faced away from the counter to stare at the stars. "I'm an oni, you know?" I did not know. I suppose I should have questioned the horns at some point. "We all lived underground for a long time, after we got sick of living with humans. There were some other youkai, but they mostly kept to themselves. It was just us most of the time." She paused to take another drink and stayed silent for a moment too long.

"…" This was interesting information, but I didn't really have anything to say. Meaningless platitudes and small talk just for the sake of small talk goes against everything I stand for, so hopefully she wasn't expecting a response out of me. Eventually, she continued.

"…It didn't really bother us much. Oni don't really lie, so we end up butting heads with humans and youkai a lot. We can do that by ourselves and without causing an Incident, so why bother with them!" She laughed and took another quick drink before she continued. "At least, I guess that's what we thought. You know, a lot of people think we can't lie, but that's not it at all! We just don't see the point in it. We oni face everything head-on, so obviously that includes talking to people! No tricks, no hidden meanings, just total honesty." She tosses me the gourd and roughly pats my back again. "Drink up! Anyways, what do you think?"

"About what? What the hell would I know about oni?" I grumbled and sipped some more from the gourd. Wasn't alcohol supposed to taste like paint thinner? If this is what Suika drinks all the time, then it's no wonder she's a lush.

"Ahahaha! Nothing, I guess! That's fine, though. I don't want to hear what you think about oni. Why do you think people lie to each other? Wouldn't it be easier if everyone just said what they were thinking?" She sounded genuinely curious in my thoughts.

"Lying, huh… Well, it's to protect themselves, I guess." She was completely focused on me, so I elaborated more on my thoughts. "To put it another way, it's because they're afraid. It's easy to say 'Just be yourself! Anyone who doesn't like you isn't worth it anyways!' to someone, but being alone is… hard." I was sure that this time I was the one with a distant look in my eyes. How many times had I tried to fit in with other people only to be turned away? I thought I had moved on from those days, but isn't that what I was doing now? Sure, I never confirmed it when Rumia and Mystia thought I was a youkai, but I never denied it either. I looked down at Mystia, peacefully snoring on the ground. She said she didn't eat humans anymore, but was that really true? I thought so, but I wasn't going to bet my life on the word of someone I had just met. "…Weak people have no choice but to lie if they want to protect themselves." I mumbled self-deprecatingly to myself.

"You think so too, huh?" She smiled at me. "I've been thinking about that ever since I came to the surface. Oni are so strong compared to most people! I mean, I knew that already, but I didn't really understand just how much stronger we were until I started living up here on the surface. Even if someone gets mad at one of us, what are they going to do about it?" She chuckled sadly and the smile slipped off her face. "It's easy to be honest when you've got nothing to lose. We oni moved underground and pat ourselves on the backs for centuries about how much better we are than everyone, and how nobody else gets it like we do."

"…" Her words struck an uncomfortable chord in me. Wasn't that what I had been doing? I couldn't be pushed away, because I already pushed everyone away. My reputation couldn't be trashed, because I already trashed it myself. I was invincible. I had curbed some of those habits thanks to the efforts of the Service Club, but I still felt the urge to sabotage any positive relationship I make with people. Suika continued talking before I could lose myself in my thoughts even further.

"But you know what? I don't regret coming here! I made some good friends with the oni, but living there felt so… empty. There's so many fun and interesting things in the world, and none of them care! All they want to do is drink and fight all day. That's fun and all, but there's so much more to do than just that! I want to see lots of new things! I want to meet lots of new people! I want to break through those stupid social barriers and really get to know someone, and I want them to know me too! I want… I want…" She fished around for the words but couldn't quite find them.

"Something genuine." I spoke those words without even intending to speak. She looked at me and laughed happily.

"Exactly! I can't really explain it well, but that's what I want! 'Something genuine', huh…" She rolled the words around her mouth and then grinned. "I like it! I want something genuine!" Hearing my own words echoed back at me caused a lump to appear in my throat. I wanted to say something to her but couldn't find the words to say it with. Well, that's not true. There's only one thing I can say here.

"Oi, Suika. I'm human." There's no way I could let that lie hang in the air after hearing her say all of that. I wanted to trust her. She gave me a look that screamed 'What the hell is this idiot talking about now?'

"Huh? What the hell are you talking about? I already knew you were a human!" She laughed. How cruel! It takes teenage boys a lot of courage to confess, and you just laughed it off! Well, not like it was a new experience for me. "Wait, were you pretending to be a youkai?" She stared at me while stroking her chin with her thumb and index finger. I tried and failed not to squirm under her gaze. "…Hmm. Nope. Not seeing it. If you really want to be mistaken for a youkai, then you should ask Reimu for some tips."

"…Of course the first person to realize it is a drunk," I grumbled. "and the completely sober youkai and questionably sober village guards take one look at my eyes and write me off as a man-eating monster." Usually they get to know me first before calling me a monster.

"Yeesh, sounds like you've had it rough. But hey! Normally you outsiders get eaten, so lucky you!" If I was actually lucky, that wouldn't have been a risk at all! "Outsider… Guess you're heading for the shrine then, right?" She asked.

"…That asshole guard said something about a 'scary as shit' miko helping me out, so I guess?" Suika busted out laughing and pounded her hand against the counter. I nervously glanced at the cracks this was creating and chose to ignore it. I was sharing drinks with an oni. That point of no return had been crossed a long time ago. Speaking of which, I was starting to feel sick.

"Pfffft ahahahaha! Yep, that's Reimu alright! She's the one who gets outsiders back through the border." Her smile dropped a bit. "Aw man… that kinda sucks. You're a good drinking buddy. Hate to see you go so soon." I actually felt a little touched at that. Just a little, though. "But hey, enough of that! We'll cross that bridge when we get there. I've been talking this whole time, so now it's your turn! Let's live up the time we've got and break down those barriers between us! Come on, come on! Spill your guts, Hachiman!" I turned my head away from her and threw up onto the ground. "Not… quite what I meant, but I like your spirit! Let's see what kind of snacks Mystia's got stashed away in this cart. I'll take you to Reimu's place later, but we're not stopping this party until the sun comes up!"

Everything got a bit fuzzy after that.

"Hey." Shhhh. No talky. Only sleepy. "Heeeeey!" Ugh. I really hoped they'd give up. I cracked my eyes open and instantly regretted it, as the light assaulted my eyes. I groaned and slammed my eyelids shut. Nope, I tried my best. Sorry mysterious voice, please try again later. "No, please, stay awake! Ran-sama will be so disappointed in me!" The tearful plea was what finally convinced me to wake up. Damn my big brother instincts. This time I slowly opened them and adjusted to the light as I went. It was still agony, but it was a bearable kind of agony. Sort of like Hiratsuka's lectures. When I finally took a look at my surroundings, a large part of me wondered if I was still dreaming.

Cats. Everywhere I looked there was cats snoozing peacefully. I appeared to be in a run-down wood shack of some kind, but there wasn't a single inch of floor uncovered by cats. Even I wasn't safe. My upper body was propped against the wall opposite the door, but my lower body was covered in sleeping cats. This situation was not looking good for me. Wandering the death trap of a forest was one thing, but this situation was worse by multiple magnitudes. With these cats resting in my lap, there was no way I would be able to move and disrupt their sleep, meaning I would end up starving to death here while waiting for them to move!

Just kidding. Who the hell do you think I am?

I stood up and heartlessly startled the cats from their sleep. They sent me a baleful glare before taking residence on the patch of floor my lower body had warmed up and quickly went back to sleep. I tried my best to distract myself from the pounding headache throbbing in time with my heartbeat by investigating my surroundings some more. This was the second time I had woken up in a strange location with no memory of how I got there, but at least this time I had something to blame it on. It was still night, judging by the view of the sky through the hole in the roof. At least, I hoped it was the same night. Wait, wasn't there someone else here? I didn't have to look far to find them. A few inches away from me, I could see a familiar pair of horns sticking out of a snoring pile of cats. Nice to see Suika didn't ditch me. Trapped in her arms, there was a teary-eyed little girl in a red dress and a green hat with fake cat ears attached to it. She paused from her attempts to extricate herself and sent me the most pitiful look I had ever seen in my life.

"Please… Help me…" She begged as her apparently real cat ears folded to her head. Somehow this only came as a mild surprise. I think I was finally building an immunity to this place.

Well, how can I refuse a request like that? I am a member of the Service Club, after all.

One short shuffle and a few irritated cats later, and I found myself standing over Suika. She was flat on her back with the aforementioned cat girl hugged tightly to her chest, snoring away without a care in the world. She was also nearly completely covered in cats. The only parts of her I could see was her horns, her stupid grin, and the arms that were currently imprisoning the cat girl. Hmm, how should I go about this? I suppose I'll work my way down the list.

"Oi, Suika. Wake up." I flatly said. Not even a twitch from her. Well, attempt number one is a failure, as I expected, but you can't blame a guy for trying. Next I tried to pry her arms open to free the girl, with absolutely nothing to show for my efforts. No matter how hard I tried, I felt absolutely no give at all. I'm sorry Suika. I will have to resort to the forbidden technique which was banned in the Hikigaya household. "You leave me with no other choice. I am sorry it had to end this way." I solemnly stated.

I put one hand over Suika's mouth and then pinched her nose shut.

For a while there was no reaction, until she began wildly flailing around. Of course, I was smart enough to move away when I saw the first signs of movement. No way am I testing my delicate bone structure against an irritated oni's fists. The cats were also smart enough to move away, although they were clearly unhappy with me. She shot up to her feet gasping for air, then glared when she saw my satisfied grin.

"What the hell, you bastard! What would you have done if I suffocated, huh?!" She demanded.

"…Remember you fondly?" I suggested.

"You wanna fight?" She raised her fist threateningly. Just as I prepared myself to give a groveling apology, she lost her steam when the flailing girl still pinned by her other arm made herself noticed. Suika looked down and grinned, then set the girl gently on her feet. "Hey, it's you! Uh… Shen, right?" The girl pouted. Absolutely adorable.

"Chen is Chen! How many times do I have to tell you that?!" Chen grimaced. "Aw man, I smell like sake now. Wait, that's not important! I have to get back and help prepare breakfast before Yukari-sama wakes up or Ran-sama will punish me again!" She pointed at Suika. "You're awake now, so leave! No squatters!" She turned to me and smiled, then bowed politely. "Thanks for your help, mister! I'm supposed to kick the drunks out of here but Yukari-sama said I could invite them to breakfast if they're nice, so you're free to come with me if you want!" Ah~, this supreme cuteness. I should be wary of a youkai inviting me over for a meal, but I just can't resist. Apparently, neither could Suika.

"Hoh? Breakfast, huh? That sounds great! Lead the way, shrimp!" Suika laughed and took a drink from her gourd. Drinking immediately after waking up from passing out after a night of drinking? That's dedication. Chen cutely stomped her foot and cutely clenched both hands at her sides.

"Chen is not a shrimp! And I wasn't inviting you!" Suika snorted and pushed open the door, only for it to immediately fall off its hinges. I was beginning to feel nervous about hanging around in this building for much longer.

"Ahh, details, details. Well, no problem! I know the way." She walked off without looking back.

"Ah, geez… She never listens to me…" Chen pouted. I desperately wanted to ruffle her hair. Would it be like petting a cat? The curiosity was killing me. Ignoring my dilemma, Chen looked up at me and smiled. "Forget about that stinky drunk! Let's get going!" And then she dashed to catch up with Suika, with me following close behind. I guess it was a given that I was visiting for breakfast, but it wasn't like I was against it. I was genuinely afraid to see Chen's disappointed face.

And thus, I was led by a youkai that looks like a little girl to an unfamiliar location with the promise of food for the second time in as many days.

I missed the days when my life made sense.

A/N - Hey everybody! This chapter didn't take as long to get out as I feared. I wanted to tweak and edit it more, but eventually I reached that point where I just have to hope it's good enough as is. This story gotten a lot more attention than I thought it would get! I've read all your reviews and I'm super happy that you guys are enjoying it. I appreciate you guys letting me know what you think! Until next time!