"Would you get off of me already?!" I yelled without an ounce of calm as bullets peppered the ground behind my fleeing form. I hadn't stuck around long when the fairies appeared. I was already lost in the forest, so who cares if I ran around aimlessly? Lost is lost, after all. Unfortunately, it seems that running away from the fairies just made them more excited. They chased after me with a single-minded devotion that was quite frankly terrifying. Suika on the other hand was having the time of her life. If I had been physically capable of prying her off of me, I would have thrown her at the fairies as a distraction a long time ago.
"Over my dead body!" Suika yelled back at me with great excitement. She could have made herself useful and at least helped with steering, but instead she left everything to me. For a while there, I was intentionally running her into every low hanging branch I could find. She didn't react at all to it, but it made me feel better. That ended around the time her horns got stuck. The fairies took great delight in pelting us with magic while I struggled to free her.
"You're going to be over my dead body if you don't get off my shoulders!" It was difficult enough to keep an eye on my surroundings as they blurred past us, but every time I began to let my guard down they started to- Beam! I hopped to the left as a bright green beam shot through where I had been standing moments before, leaving an impressive swath of destruction in its wake. Right. Those. I hadn't been hit by anything but projectiles yet, and those hurt like hell. I really didn't want to find out what one of those beams would do.
"Ooh, nice tsukkomi! Say, how do you feel about manzai?" She queried. For a moment I forgot all about the danger and just stopped and stared up at her, wordlessly asking what she was going on about now. The sensation of several sharp stings down the back of my calf followed by the cheers of the fairies reminded me that I didn't really have the luxury of stopping. "Fine, fine… I'll shelve the Grand Prix pitch for later. So hey, why are we running away?" She asked this as several glowing bullets pinged off her head, provoking absolutely no reaction from her. Maybe I could find a way to use her as a shield…
"Do I really need to answer that? I'd think the answer would be pretty clear." I asked as a blue and pink spiral beam sailed over my shoulder. When it impacted the ground, the resulting crater was filled with a chaotic mess of fire and ice. Fantastic, they've discovered how to combine their attacks. What fresh hell awaited me next? "Do you not see what's happening right now? Is that why you won't walk on your own? Did someone swap your gourd out with paint thinner, and now you're blind?" That probably wasn't it. Paint thinner would just be less potent than her normal fare.
"Nah, last person that tried taking my gourd ended up as a smear on the wall- Hey, stop changing the subject! This is about you!" She smacked the side of my head, nearly sending me into a burst of bullets. "You're running away from fairies. Fairies. That's just embarrassing, Hachiman. Only total losers run away from fairies, and you're better than that." A crescent projectile shot over our heads and slammed into a nearby tree with a deafening crack. It quickly collapsed from the damage and came crashing towards us. Suika slapped it away like an annoying fly before it could come close to us, crashing just a couple inches away from the fairies. Rather than be intimidated by the casual show of strength, the fairies began attacking with a renewed fervor. "…Granted, this might be a little more intense than they usually get, but that's not the point."
"What is the point, Suika?" My patience with Suika was wearing incredibly thin after all this. "What exactly do you want me to do here? The only thing that will happen if I stop is that I'll get blasted by more magic. In case you've forgotten, I'm human. I'm not a youkai, I'm not an oni, and I'm sure as hell not a flying blob of fairies. So what do you want me to do, huh?" Suika was silent. "Yeah, that's what I thought." I scoffed and focused on the path. What was I doing getting this worked up? So stupid. "This is the logical choice, and you're an idiot if you can't see that." We both stayed silent for several moments, the tension in the air contrasted sharply by the whooping and hollering of the fairies from behind us.
"Is that what you told yourself before? That you had no other choice?" Suika spoke softly but clearly. I opened my mouth to give her a piece of my mind, but she never gave me the chance. "No, shut up for a second. I didn't really get most of that stuff you and Yukari talked about, but she was right about one thing. Running gets you away from your problems, but it doesn't solve anything. So here's what I want you to do, Hachiman. I want you to turn around, take that weird magic stuff you got going on in your head, and show those fairies that they picked a fight with the wrong human!" Suika cheered me on. Considering her words, I turned my head to look behind me. Whereas I had been doing my best to dodge low hanging tree branches, the fairies had instead chosen to fly straight through everything in their path with the efficiency of a woodchipper. Rather than stop, I instead decided to run a bit faster.
"Yeah, I don't think I'm going to do that. Maybe you missed the part where I don't know how to use magic!" The frustrated helplessness I had been bottling up the past couple days was slowly reaching a boil. "You think I did any of this on purpose? Believe me, if I had any clue how to control my magic, I wouldn't have brought myself here! I'd be asleep in my nice comfy bed and getting ready for school instead of fighting for my life against things that I didn't even know existed!" I wasn't sure if my anger was directed at Suika or the world in general. Suika tilted forward until her face was upside-down and inches away from mine. While I sputtered in embarrassment and tried to correct my balance, she looked me dead in the eyes with utter seriousness.
"So that's it, then? You're just gonna keep running away?" Yep, that's the plan. "When does it end, Hachiman? You gotta stop running eventually." Ah. She's not talking about just the fairies anymore, is she? "Look, I get it. It's hard. I know. It's never gonna be easy, though… so hey, why not try it now?" Her tone was encouraging and strangely gentle compared to her normal demeanor. Could I…? No, that's stupid. But maybe… Suika grinned brightly at the indecision that showed clearly on my face. "Hey, you might not believe you can do it, but I believe in ya just fine… So stop worrying so much! I'll be right here every step of the way, so just give it your all." I snorted.
"'Face it like an oni', then?" Suika laughed and nodded, and I let out a weary sigh. I did say I wanted to trust Suika. If she thought I could handle this… "Fine… Fine. I'll try it your way." She patted my cheek twice, then straightened her posture back up. I took a deep breath and shoved away my panic with an ease that left me reeling. I performed a quick 'status check' on my ability and found that the constant humming in my brain had lessened to the point that I could barely feel it even while actively looking for it. I felt a pang of worry at the thought of rejecting emotions so easily, but I didn't have many options to work with. Come to think of it, I'm not very tired in spite of running full throttle for so long… Well. Concerns for later. For now, I needed a plan. I continued to run, but now I was doing so with a concrete goal in mind. The two things I needed most were an open area and a plan of action. Luckily, I could work on both at the same time. Keeping an eye out for a suitable area as I ducked and dodged the steady blasts of magic, I began to plot.
First, defense. A plan is only as good as your ability to carry it out, which requires being alive. I couldn't tank the shots like Suika, so my best bet there was to stick to dodging like I had been. Most of the magic being sent at me were simple glowing spheres like Ran had showed me, although these came in many different colors. Occasionally they would fire off something with a different shape, but they operated in more or less the same fashion. Looking carefully, I noticed that none of the fairies seemed to be leading any of their shots. Since they were aiming where I am instead of where I was going to be, none of their shots came close to hitting me so long as I kept on the move. Unfortunately, using the trees for cover wasn't possible because-
"Ei!" One of the fairies shouted and I frantically veered to the left as a beam shot through the air I had been occupying just a moment before. Yeah, that. Whereas the projectiles left small craters and scorch marks wherever they happened to land, the beams had piercing power. I had seen several beams pierce through trees with hardly any resistance. The beams were the real danger here, but they were also the easiest to dodge due to the fairies shouting beforehand. If I had known this was how my day was going to go, I would have badgered Ran into starting with flying and danmaku like she normally would have. While bemoaning my lack of foresight, I emerged into a large open clearing that was surrounded by a ring of trees on all sides. Above the trees was a clear and unhindered view of the sky, allowing plenty of light into the clearing. The ground was perfectly level and only had a few roots to keep an eye out for. It was exactly what I was looking for. The convenience left me wondering if Suika was on to something when she said the forest was alive. After a deep breath to steady myself, I finally came to a stop in the center of the clearing.
"Nowhere left to run now, villain! It's time to face punishment for your crimes!" What? I could easily keep running, though? Also, what crimes? You're the ones that attacked me! I turned to face them and tell them as much, but the words died in my throat when I got a good look at them. With my newfound clear thought process, I caught some details that I had missed in my earlier state of mind. Before, I had seen them as a faceless and relentless enemy. Now, I could only see them as little girls having fun playing a game. Each one of the fairies was smiling and laughing with joyful twinkles in their eyes. This is what I was so afraid of? I wonder… Keeping them in my peripherals, I observed the spot on the back of my hand where I had been pelted with a bullet at the beginning of the chase. No pain, and not even a hint of a bruise. I stared at the fairies with a stupid look on my face. Was I even in danger here? No, wait, there were the falling trees… which Suika was protecting me from. Which means she was actually handling the only dangerous part of this. Ugh, great, I made a total ass of myself for nothing, didn't I? Speaking of which…
"Suika, I'll leave the embarrassing speeches to you." I shamelessly passed the buck to her. Magic is one thing, but I know where my limits are. Besides, she clearly had a knack for it. She could handle the chuuni side while I cobbled together the other half of my plan. "Actually, if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. All I've got so far is 'dodge.'" OK, so maybe I was trying to get her to do everything for me. Can you blame me, though? After literally pulling her weight for her, it was time for her to return the favor.
"Throw one of your own back at them!" That… wasn't Suika. It came from directly above me, but it was higher than where Suika sat. I side-stepped another barrage of flashing lights, then looked up at the source of the voice. Several feet above me was a blonde girl around my age wearing a black and white dress. She was riding a broom and wearing a hat that just screamed 'witch.' More impressive than the flying was how she managed to lounge lazily on her side while balancing on a broom, with her chin resting in her palm and staring imperiously down at me. Well, it seems I'd earned myself a peanut gallery.
"Great plan! How do I do that?" I yelled back. It wasn't even sarcasm. All my problems would be solved if I could fire my own projectiles back at them. Suika, I can hear you snickering up there. Just because you've apparently been saving my life all along doesn't mean I'll forget that you put it in danger in the first place. Take responsibility, damn you! The witch rolled her eyes at me.
"Just make one and then throw it! Quit over-thinking it!" She hollered back and went back to watching silently. That's when I realized that the fairies had stopped attacking me. It seemed Suika wasn't laughing at me, but at the fairies' expenses. They were exchanging overly flowery words that could be boiled down to "You're stupid." and "No you're stupid." Truly a battle of the minds was taking place here. Heedless of the maturity unfolding in front of me, I chose to turn my attention towards… casting magic. Geez, when I put it like that it really hits home just how strange my life has become. Trying to decide where to begin, a memory of Ran's lecture floated to the surface of my mind. Specifically, I focused on the memory of the glowing yellow orb she had used for her example. How had she referred to it at the time? I believe it was 'simple projectile.' Before I left, she told me to focus my ability towards completing 'small tasks.' Well, seems conclusive to me. According to Ran's words, I should be capable of this much. No, I had to be. If I wanted to keep from being consumed by my ability like she warned me of, then a 'simple projectile' couldn't give me trouble.
I held my right hand out with the palm facing up, just like Ran had done. My surroundings faded away as I focused all my attention on my task. The witch's words of 'Just make one and then throw it!' echoed in my mind. I focused on the image of Ran's projectile and focused entirely on making one of my own appear. Several times during the process, a voice of doubt in my head would pop up and tell me I was being ridiculous for even trying this. Each time, I ruthlessly stomped it down and continued my efforts. As time went on and I was beginning to truly worry that this was in vain, I saw a faint twinkle of light shimmer and vanish. It was only for a second, and I could have easily written it off as a trick of the light, but instead I latched onto it with everything I had. The shimmer came again, then once more, until finally it no longer flickered out. Instead, it grew steadily more solid, until finally it took a shape. It was an orb exactly the same as the countless others that had been fired at me today. Compared to them, mine was a ridiculously tiny thing, no bigger than even one of my fingernails. It was the same color as Ran's, but it shone without even half of the brightness that hers showed at its weakest.
"Woah…" I breathed in awe. In spite of all those things, it was still the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life. Up to this point, magic had been an abstract thing for me. This, though? I did this. This wasn't something that happened without my input. This was something I had brought about with my own efforts, something I could conclusively point to and call 'progress.' It was wonderful.
"Beautiful, ain't it?" My surroundings snapped back into focus when I heard those words. The flying stereotype was now hovering next to me and grinning happily at my wimpy looking projectile. "Nice work. Now take that and throw it as hard as you can. Really put your back into it and give it all you got, yeah?" I nodded in understanding. She gave me a thumbs up and flew back to give me space. I warily eyed the orb in my hand. Well, nothing for it but to try. Without hesitation, I reared back and tossed it as hard as I could. Just as calculated, it flew on a direct course to the fairies. It sailed through the air far faster than I had expected, faster than any physical object I could have thrown. It impacted dead center on the fairies, causing several of them to evaporate into motes of light. I stared in shock and horror.
"Did… Did I just kill them?" I whispered. Sure they're annoying, but I didn't want to kill them. However, the remaining fairies didn't seem overly concerned over the casualties. Rather than even try to stabilize their position, they chose to break into two smaller shapes. Are they fairies or slimes?
"Pffft naw, they're fine. Fairies don't really die. They just come back later, so do whatever you want to 'em." Suika comforted me with her callous words. Immortal fairies, huh… Why am I even surprised? Fine, whatever, I don't care anymore.
"Hey!" One of the fairies called out. "That was a cheap shot! We weren't ready!" The rest of the fairies whined in agreement.
"We're the villains here, right? It's your faults for not paying attention then. Don't expect the bad guys to wait patiently for you to prepare yourself." Behold my greatest weapon: Cold and unfeeling logic! As expected, they had no response to my words. Suika, however…
"That's right! Honor? More like cowardice! O~hohoho!" Suika openly mocked them with a haughty laugh.
"…I thought oni were all about honor and fair play." I contradicted her. She sure as hell brought it up enough times to be worth mentioning.
"Shush, play along! Don't be a buzzkill." Suika chided. Calling someone a buzzkill takes on a whole other meaning when an oni is the one saying it. Rolling my eyes, I decided to leave it be.
"Curse you, fiend!" The fairy complained. I can see you smiling, you know? Nobody is buying it. Wait, where'd the other fairies go? No, think logically. The most beneficial place for them to be is…
"Ei!" A cute shout echoed from behind me. Acting on instinct, I hopped to the left. Several projectiles and beams flew past and impacted the first group of fairies, wiping them entirely from existence. There was a heavy silence from everyone present. I turned to stare at the fairies behind me and wordlessly raised an eyebrow. "Ah… Um…" Several of their faces broke into a cold sweat. "I'll… never forgive you for taking the lives of my friends!" One of the fairies spoke haltingly.
"No, that was clearly your fault no matter how you look at it." I said. Honestly, who are they trying to fool here?
"Enough of your lies, evil-doer!" Without further ado, the now significantly smaller mass of fairies began to fire magic once more. From there, I lost myself in the flow of dodging and returning fire. I took some hits, but I gave as good as I got. I wasn't able to do more than slowly create a single tiny projectile at a time and lob it at them, but I didn't really need more than that in the first place. Turns out, fairies suck at dodging. I wasn't fantastic at it myself, but it was becoming easier as the number of fairies continued to shrink. To my surprise, I was actually having fun. After an indeterminable amount of time, I found myself facing down the final conglomeration of fairies. Finally, the end was in sight. There were only five left, enough to take out with a couple more well-placed projectiles. I reared my arm back to hit them with just that, when I felt the orb blasted out of my palm from above.
"Nope! Denied!" The witch sang. Et tu, Brute? "As the price for my tutoring, I demand you win this in style! I won't accept anything less!" I really am the only one taking this even a tiny bit seriously, aren't I?
"Mmm… I guess she's right." Suika mumbled. "If you're not gonna finish it off with a bang, why even bother?" Oh, come on! There's a limit to being unreasonable, you know! While I was distracted with my internally voiced complaints, the fairies had not remained idle. The fairies had taken the time to charge their energy for an all-out attack while I coped with this betrayal of the worst kind.
"We're putting everything we have into this attack… Our love, our anger, our sorrow… This attack contains the hopes and dreams of everyone who believed in us! Take this, you monster!" Wow, their attack contains emotional damage as well. Truly fitting of a last stand. All five of the remaining fairies held their hands out and released the charged energy into a beam. A foot away from them, the beams coalesced into one enormous spiraling multicolored beam and rapidly flew at me. I sidestepped it like usual, but the moment it passed me the beam curved sharply and came back. "Run all you like, but karma will always catch up to you in the end!" Like I keep saying, you attacked me! I dodged again, but it whipped around once more without losing any speed. I stumbled on an exposed root and lost precious seconds regaining my balance.
"Shit…!" Hardly any obstacles in this place, and I manage to trip at the worst possible time. The beam was on a direct course for my head and I had no time to dodge. Going off nothing more than an involuntary reaction, I raised my hand to protect my face. That was how I noticed the thin haze rising off my palms, like looking at blacktop on a hot summer day. When you find yourself in a tough and confusing situation, your brain goes on strange tangents. For me, seeing the beam coming at me in my disoriented state caused my mind to flash back to my days of hitting a tennis ball against the wall during PE. It might not have been anything special to most people, but the reflex had been hammered into my body. Without hesitation, I reached my hand out and smacked the beam hard as I possibly could. The force of the beam left me sprawled on my back, but the job was done. It had been knocked straight away from me and flew rapidly into the mass of remaining fairies. On contact, it created a large explosion and sent up a cloud of dust. I dragged myself back onto my feet just as the dust began to clear. It revealed the form of the last remaining fairy, who was in no shape to fight.
"My friends… I'm sorry… I… failed…" The fairy lay scorched and crumpled in a large crater while staring unseeing at the sky. She reached a hand out to the horizon, towards something only she could see. "Ah… There you guys are… I… mis…sed… you…" Her hand fell to the ground and her eyes clouded over. Moments later, she faded into motes of light. There was a thick silence in the clearing.
"I'm not sure how to feel about this." I admitted. The witch grunted in agreement.
"Someone's been teaching them weird stuff again. They're gonna be like this for weeks." She groaned. Suika very pointedly did not say anything, despite this clearly being her fault. "But hey, enough of that!" She stuck her hand out towards me. "The name's Kirisame Marisa! Nice to meet ya. Not too shabby out there for your first bit of magic. Plenty of room for improvement, but a good start!" I felt my cheeks heat up a bit in embarrassment at her honest praise as I reached out to accept the handshake.
"Hikigaya Hachiman. Thanks for the save." I smiled at her. Marisa flushed slightly and looked away. Oho, someone's weak to gratitude~. Wait, that was me.
"Nah, it was nothing. I couldn't just let it pass when I heard someone yelling about not knowing how to use magic. I just taught you like Mima-sama taught me." Marisa scratched her head in embarrassment before quickly changing the subject. "So hey, what's Suika doing on your shoulders? Some kind of fashion statement? We usually go for hats round these parts, but I guess oni are pretty stylish too." She grinned and snickered at her own joke.
"You like it? It holds my alcohol for me." I decided to play along. Surviving a near-death experience that wasn't actually a near-death experience does wonders for your mood.
"Ooooh nice! I should get me one of-" Suika chose that moment to defend her honor as a living creature.
"Hey, this 'fashion statement' can speak for herself, thank you very much!" She pouted. "It's not your alcohol if you're not even gonna drink anything, Hachiman." That's the part you disagreed with?!
"Yeah, yeah." I waved her off, to her displeasure. "She's actually supposed to be my tour guide. She's off to a great start by making me carry her and then getting us lost in a forest." I'm not bitter, no sir! Suika, stop blushing happily. That wasn't a real compliment.
"How the hell did you even convince her to do that?" Marisa wondered aloud.
"She offered, actually. Just hopped on my shoulders and away we went." I explained. I probably should have questioned it more in retrospect.
"…Yeah, alright then. So where ya headed?" Marisa shook off the strangeness with what seemed like practiced ease. I guess she was used to Suika's antics. I opened my mouth to respond.
"Reimu's place!" Suika shouted. I closed my mouth. Marisa stared for a long moment at Suika, and then gave me a sad pitying look. Not you too, Marisa! She flew slowly towards us, grabbed me by my shoulders, and spun me around 180 degrees. I was greeted to the sight of a long flight of stairs just at the edge of the tree line, now visible due to the destruction of the previous fight. No… It can't be…
"Oh hey! We're here!" Suika laughed. I felt the crushing weight of despair on my back.
"Sure, I'll take a drink!" I offered with a bright smile. I waited for Suika's face to light up in hope. "You'll have to walk on your own, though!" The sight of her smile deflating like a balloon gave me the inner strength I needed to continue walking up the long flight of stairs. Marisa had offered to take us up there when she found out I couldn't fly and that Suika was still intent on being Suika, but it seemed my ability rejected her broom's ability to fly so long as I was touching it. Her generosity ended right around the time Suika suggested I hop on Marisa's shoulders and have her fly us there that way. I didn't blame her at all for flying ahead without another word.
"Oh come on! Just one drink, that's all I ask! I think you owe me at least that much for today, don't you?" She whined.
"How can you even say that with a straight face?" Because honestly, you have to have some shame, right? Right?
"What's the problem? I said I'd toughen you up and that's exactly what I'm gonna do! Consider it a promise from an oni!" She smacked her chest with her fist. I'm frightened. "If we keep this up, then you won't have to worry if anything goes wrong!" I stopped for a moment on a step when I processed that remark.
"…What do you mean by that, Suika?" I queried, genuinely curious. This was beginning to sound like more than just one of her whims.
"Ah, well… It's a little embarrassing." She scratched her cheek. Ah, there's the shame. "I can't help with your magic like Ran or Marisa, so I'm just doing what I can. I figure that if I can toughen you up a bit, then it won't be so dangerous if you slip back here once you head back home. Fairies aren't too dangerous unless you get them over-excited, so I thought it'd be a good warm-up. Once you get some more basics under your belt, you won't have to worry about the fairies or the weak youkai too much." She explained.
"You've… really put some thought into this, haven't you?" I would deny it to my dying days, but I was actually feeling a bit touched by her forethought on my behalf. Just a little, of course.
"I guess so! You're fun to hang out with, and I'd hate to see you die from something I could have helped you with." She beamed at me despite the casual mention of death. "And hey, if you get your magic under control, and it's not dangerous for you to be here anymore, then you can come visit whenever you want!" Ah, so there's the true motivation.
"…Thanks, Suika." I smiled honestly at her. I was feeling more at peace right now in this moment than I had felt at any other point since coming here. Even the humming in my brain had fallen almost completely silent.
"Don't mention it! I wouldn't have bothered if I thought you were a lost cause. That goes for Ran too, and doubly so for Yukari." Ah, so I'm not completely hopeless then? Do me a favor and tell that to my clubmates please.
"I got the feeling Ran was pretty much forced into this," I pointed out. "Yukari, well, no idea what her deal is."
"Well… yeah. That's true, I guess. Still, you should have heard Ran nagging me to keep you safe when I dropped by their place earlier. She wouldn't have gone that far if she thought it was wasted effort." She tensed up for a moment. "Crap… She's gonna kill me when she hears about this." She muttered under her breath before carrying on. "As for Yukari… I'll let you in on a little secret, since you're both friends of mine and I want you two to get along." Yeah, good luck with that one. "Yukari hates wasted potential. I mean, hates it. Get a few drinks in her and she will not shut up about it." Let's hold off on getting Yukari drunk around me please? "I'm not surprised she's so gung-ho after meeting you. After that show you two put on at dinner, I bet she's pulling out all the stops trying to make this whole thing work out." Just as she finished talking, we reached the top of the stairs at last. I paused at the entrance to gather my thoughts.
"That's… interesting, but it still doesn't really explain much. What is she-" Suika hopped off my shoulders and put a finger on my lips. Impressive feat considering she's half my size.
"Ah! Let's leave it at that for now. That's all you're getting out of me, alright?" Then she winked and bolted off. "Reimu~! I'm here to play~!" Of course she waited until we arrived to leave. No, not before the endless staircase, not before my first magical fight, not when we were lost in a forest, but after I was done with everything. If I hadn't been accidentally rejecting my exhaustion this whole time, I'd be seriously pissed right now. Well, whatever. I strode down the path, following the sounds of chaos that Suika left in her wake.
As I walked across the yard to the main shrine, I looked around at my surroundings. Despite the absurdly long flight of stairs and the imposing red torii at the top, the shrine itself wasn't anything special to look at. There was a stone tiled path that led to a small traditional looking building in the center of a small clearing of trees. Off to the side, there was a shed that looked as if it had seen better days. While the buildings weren't anything impressive, the view from the top of the stairs was incredible. The sight of the sun beginning to set on Gensokyo stole my breath away.
"Alright, who are you and what do you want?" A voice interrupted my observations. I shifted my attention to a girl with brown-black hair and a red and white miko outfit. She was calm and sat with poise as she sipped her tea. At first glance she didn't seem to have a care in the world, but the look in her eyes as she stared me down told me that I couldn't be more wrong. It was a look that demanded respect, and threatened harm if I did not give it to her. This was not someone to take lightly.
"I'm looking for a lost child. Have you seen her?" Ah, crap. She reminded me so much of Yukinoshita that I spoke without thinking. Going by the icy look she was sending me now, I doubted the similarities would end there. Please show mercy.
"Let me guess. About this tall, horns on her head, carries around a gourd of infinite booze?" I nodded dumbly, bracing for the tongue lashing. "Nope. Haven't seen her." Surprisingly, one never came. A deafening crash came from behind the shrine, followed by an enormous laser firing into the sky and the sounds of wild laughter. I raised an eyebrow. The girl calmly sipped her tea without reacting in the slightest.
"Somehow… I feel like I should apologize." I was beginning to feel a bit guilty. Whether I was apologizing for my behavior or Suika's though, who can say?
"Is that so? I accept cash." She nodded towards the donation box. Haha, it seems she did have a sense of humor after all- Ah, she's not joking, is she? She shot me an expectant look as another crash came from behind the shrine. Suika, please don't make me pay for your property damage. I don't get much of an allowance, you know?
"Well, fair enough." I mumbled and moved towards the donation box. Not like I was using the money anyways, considering the free room and board I was currently receiving. The girl's face lit up with a truly happy smile that unnerved me even more than the mask of ice from before. I reached into my pocket to take out my wallet, her eyes tracking my hand the entire time… and I pulled out a folded-up piece of paper. If this means what I think it means… I unfolded it and read it aloud. "'Dearest Hachi-chan, I stole your wallet and phone. All my love, Yukarin.'" So much for the free room and board. Crap, did I erase my browser history? A despairing groan escaped the shrine maiden's lips.
"She's a nuisance even when she's not here… Well, whatever." She slouched until her sloppy posture was completely incomparable to her earlier poise. "I guess you're that 'Hachiman' guy she was talking about earlier. You've probably figured it out, but I'm Hakurei Reimu. Call me whatever you want, I don't care. Let's get one thing straight, though." Her gaze sharpened and I felt the hairs raise on my arms. "I don't know what nonsense the gap hag has been filling your head with, but I'm the person who has to clean up after you if you make a mess in Gensokyo. If I were you, I wouldn't let it come to that, yeah?" In other words, 'Don't make me beat the crap out of you.' How refreshingly blunt. I nodded quickly and she relaxed her glare. "So, introductions are made, now what the hell are you doing here?" Good question. Why am I here?
"No reason in particular, I guess. Suika dragged me here as part of her 'tour.'" I paused in thought. "Or, well, more like I dragged her here, if you want to be technical." Reimu looked completely unamused. Yeah, I didn't think it was a very good joke either.
"Haa? You're not here to go through the border then?" If that's what you thought, then why bother asking in the first place? "Guess that means you've decided to stick around then?" I stared in confusion at her.
"No, that's… Didn't Yukari tell you about my situation?" I had expected Yukari to spill all my secrets to anyone who would listen at the first possible chance. Reimu just looked at me like I was a complete idiot.
"Do you really think she told me any useful information about you? She came by, said some cryptic nonsense, dropped an Incident in my lap, ate my food, then left again." When she puts it that way, I do feel like an idiot for expecting anything reasonable from that woman.
"Ah, well, long story short is that I have some magical ability that I can't control, and that's how I ended up here in Gensokyo." I explained, "So even if I leave, I'll just end up coming right back, since I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Yukari offered to help me get it under control." Reimu gave me an inscrutable look. I understood immediately. "By that, I mean Yukari is making Ran do it." Reimu nodded knowingly at that.
"I'm surprised she even-" Whatever scathing remark Reimu had for Yukari's many faults would go unheard, as a loud voice cut in from behind us.
"Is that true?!" We both looked back to see Marisa, who looked to have gotten in some kind of fight since we had last met, going by her ragged appearance. I suppose that explained the sounds of destruction from before, as well as what Suika had been up to. "Can you do anything cool with it?" She asked with shining eyes.
"You mean besides sending myself to Gensokyo in the first place?" I deadpanned. I don't know if I would call that 'cool', but Yukari had seemed impressed. She seemed like a hard person to impress.
"Yeah, obviously. Everybody I know is able to live in Gensokyo, so that's nothing special." Marisa snorted. Reimu just stared at her until Marisa started to fidget.
"Marisa… Do you seriously not get how hard it is for a human to send themselves across the border by accident? Even those Moriya idiots had a hard time with it, and they're gods." This time it was Marisa's turn to stare at Reimu. Seconds later, Marisa spun and pointed a finger in my face.
"You're human?!" She sputtered. She turned bright red as we all stared dumbfounded at her. So this is my life now, huh? "Ah, geez… that explains the magic thing. I thought you were a newborn youkai or something." My only condolence is that Marisa was infinitely more embarrassed about the misunderstanding than I was.
"…As I was saying, I'm surprised Yukari even bothered to do that much. She doesn't even dress herself most of the time. How'd you end up on her radar?" While I pondered the question, their attention was momentarily stolen away by the sight of an oni climbing up onto my shoulders. As for myself, I was already beyond the point of reacting to her Yoda impersonation. "…One question at a time, Reimu…" She mumbled to herself.
"I'm not sure myself… Does she have a dog?" I asked despite knowing the answer already. Marisa was the one who answered.
"She has Ran, but she gets offended if you call her that." So that's a no, then. In that case, I probably didn't save her dog from being hit by a car.
"Then I have no idea. Chen brought me to their home for breakfast in the middle of the night. Next thing I know, Yukari is offering a place to stay and magical tutoring. I think Suika knows what's going on, but she's being coy." As one, we all looked at Suika. She put her hands up and shook her head.
"Hey, don't look at me! Yukarin always gets all mopey when I explain her motives." So this has happened before?! What am I saying? Of course it has. Marisa and I were willing to accept that answer, but Reimu narrowed her eyes at the oni. Suika boldly stared back, although I could feel her slight trembling on my shoulders. After a couple of very tense seconds, Reimu snorted and looked away. Suika sighed in relief.
"Well, if Suika is going along with it, then it can't be that bad. Best of luck with that nonsense. You're gonna need it." Reimu tilted her head back and drained the last of her tea. I took her words into consideration.
"Actually, I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to accept her offer yet." I mumbled. Reimu once again gave a look that screamed 'Are you an idiot?'
"Are you an idiot?" Oh, she came right out and said it. I suppose she's right. It's too risky to acc- "You should absolutely take her offer." -ept… huh?
"That is… not at all what I thought you were going to say." I admitted. Were we even having the same conversation here? Reimu gave a frustrated sigh.
"It's like this. All that meddling you're worried about Yukari doing? That's smart. You should be worried about that. The thing is, though… She's going to do all that no matter what. You're not in any position to stop her either. So in that case, you're screwed either way. Make sense?" Surprisingly, yes.
"So… You're telling me that I might as well get something out of my troubles with her, then." Certainly not an argument I had considered. Reimu nodded furiously while Marisa snickered off to the side.
"Yes. If not for yourself, then do it for me! Do you have any idea how often she comes here? Every time some scheme pops into that senile head of hers, I get roped into it! Do you know what I get out of it?" I opened my mouth, "That's right! Nothing! She eats my food, she drops an Incident in my lap, then she fucks off somewhere else." Boy, this has been building for a while, hasn't it? Maybe if I let her get it out of her system, she'll forget about the cash I couldn't pay her with. "Ah well… Anyways," Rather than continue her rant, she deflated on the spot and addressed the oni on my back. "Suika, this is your idea, so you're in charge of drinks." Reimu mentioned offhandedly. Wait, what? Suika snapped off a sloppy salute and immediately shoved the gourd in my face.
"You've lost me." I admitted. "I thought I was just here to see the shrine." In what was quickly becoming a disturbingly common trend, Reimu once more looked at me like I was a moron.
"What did you think was going to happen when you followed an oni around for a 'tour' of Gensokyo?" She questioned. Putting the pieces together, I glared harshly at the oni on my shoulders.
"This is a BYOB bar crawl, isn't it?" I accused. In the face of my accusation, she simply laughed. Marisa patted me consolingly on the shoulder.
"Welcome to Gensokyo, Hachiman!" She laughed. Great, was everyone an alcoholic in this place? Well, when in fantasy Rome, do as the fantasy Romans do. What's the worst that could happen?
Shit... Did I really just think that?
A/N - Hi everyone! Welcome back to another chapter. This one fought me the whole way, just like I figured it would when I set out to write my first fight scene. Shit's hard yo. As always, thank you all so much for the kind words and continuing to stick with me. See you next time!