Day 1
Things were surprisingly calm after my abrupt return to Gensokyo. After appearing inside the… Dining room? Living room? Whatever, let's just call it the kotatsu room. I expected Chen to batter me with questions after such an energetic greeting, but instead she took the chance to tell me all about her day. No matter how mundane a detail was, Chen left absolutely nothing out. Of course, I gave her my undivided attention. She soaked it up like a sponge, which prompted her to talk with even more excitement than she began with. Truly a win for everybody involved.
She inevitably ran out of recent events to discuss, so she moved on to talking about cats in general. Did you know that cats lacked the ability to see under their noses? I did, actually. I certainly wasn't going to tell her that, not when she stated it with all the gravitas of someone sharing the secrets of the world. I will happily accept this gift for the feelings behind it.
Things continued along that vein, until Yukari returned hours later from her trip Outside. According to her, she had taken Suika out for a 'date' before heading back. I would have played along and asked if they used protection, but Yukari's personality was already the ultimate birth control, so there was no need to ask.
Upon learning Suika had developed a newfound interest in the ocean, Yukari had taken her to an aquarium, followed by sushi afterwards. That order of events seemed a bit macabre to me, which is likely why she did it. The biggest surprise was that, between the two of them, Yukari still managed to have enough food leftover to bring back with her. I've seen Suika eat. It's terrifying.
Too bad all the leftovers were for Chen. I wasn't too upset, seeing as I was already used to it when my parents only brought leftovers home for Komachi. Yukari seemed disappointed that I wasn't throwing a tantrum, which really cemented it as the right call. Yukari's disappointment is a gift worth savoring more than any sushi, no matter how clearly expensive and high class it is.
Surprisingly, it seemed she had a gift for me after all. She explained that she was going to use it to make me feel bad for getting angry at her for not leaving me any sushi, but I had stopped listening the moment I laid eyes on what she brought. It was a large convenience store bag, filled to the brim with cans of Maxx Coffee. In that moment, I doubt I would have noticed a bullet being fired into my chest.
With nothing else needing to be said, I grabbed the bag and was off into a fantasy land all of my own. When Chen realized I was no longer listening to her, or anything else for that matter, she pouted for a short while before deciding to tell Yukari about her day this time. Yukari paid all the attention that a wonderful creature such as Chen deserved, while I searched for something genuine at the bottom of a coffee can.
That lasted until Yukari pulled out the laser pointer.
Whatever purpose this room may have served before, the only mercy left for it now was to be taken out back and put out of its misery. Say what you will about Chen, but it's impossible to deny that she gives every task her all. That sadly includes chasing a red dot around the room. What she lacked in spatial awareness, she more than made up for with sheer spirit in her quest for that everdistant utopia.
Here's another little-known fact about cats: using laser pointers to play with them is a bit mean-spirited. Cats get frustrated if they have nothing to show for their efforts after a long chase, so it's best not to use something impossible to catch lest you want to deal with an angry cat. For normal cats, this probably means you'd find a present in your slippers later. Chen, however… Chen can fly and use magic. The damages up to that point could be waved away, but I think that's when things went truly downhill. Even my Maxx Coffee stupor couldn't hold up to Chen creating red lasers of her own.
At this point, a rational person might have quit while things were still somewhat salvageable. I would never call Yukari 'rational,' and even calling her a person feels like a stretch at times. Completely undaunted by Chen raising the stakes, Yukari chose to step up her own game. With fewer obstacles barring Chen's progress as she destroyed all in her path, Yukari decided to randomly open gaps directly in front of Chen as she moved about the room. Most times Chen would fall through and land somewhere in the room, albeit always landing on her feet. Other times, she would narrowly dodge the gaps and continue the chase. Regardless of her success, the damages quickly became exponentially worse from the introduction of new elements.
While I may not consider Yukari as such, I do think of myself as rational. I knew when to call it quits, and that time was when the spell cards came out. Thus, I crawled under the kotatsu with my bag of coffee and tried not to cry. I succeeded, and don't let anybody else tell you otherwise. The sounds of raucous laughter and crashing painted a vivid scene for me in my cozy shelter. A far more vivid scene was painted by the loudest crash of all, followed by dead silence.
Finally taking this as my cue to poke my head out, I gazed upon the carnage wrought by Yukari's hands. I considered just going back under the kotatsu and praying for unconsciousness, but that seemed to no longer be on the table without any hard alcohol. The room was covered with debris that I could no longer guess the original form of, scorch marks littered the walls, and one notable bit of damage now allowed me unhindered vision of 3 separate rooms before finally reaching the outside. Looking up showed… Well, words fail me. Yukari took in the sights as well, but hers was a look of misplaced pride. Her posture screamed 'Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
"I'm home!" Ran's voice called from down the hall. At once, Yukari's proud look was swapped for one of resignation. I felt much the same; there was no chance Yukari wouldn't try to take me down with her. I couldn't exactly see the look on Chen's face, but I believe she would have been there with us in spirit. "Hachiman, we really need to talk about… your…" Ran's voice faded as she entered the room. She was frozen mid-step as she soaked in the view.
"Welcome home, Ran-sama!" Chen's muffled voice called from above. The only thing visible were her legs, which were currently sticking out of a freshly made hole in the ceiling. Seeing my opportunity to escape a lecture for something that wasn't even my fault, I quickly moved to extract Chen from the bed she had made and was now sleeping in. This might have gone faster if she weren't ticklish and I wasn't purposely tickling her upon discovering this fact, but some situations are truly unavoidable.
To be perfectly honest, I lost touch with what was happening around me while 'helping' Chen. I have no doubt that Yukari took that window to lay the blame solely at my feet, but I hardly cared when I had my hands full with a giggling Chen. By the time I remembered the situation I was in and turned to face Ran, the shouting had already stopped.
"Welcome back," I raised one hand in greeting, the other arm holding up a giggling and squirming Chen by her midsection. Yukari was sitting in a seiza, with a face like she just ate a sour lemon. Ran stared me down, visibly considering what to do with me. After a long moment of consideration on her part, and awkward shuffling on my part, she let out an explosive sigh as the tension dropped from her shoulders.
"Just… Just sit down, Hachiman," She waved towards the table and moved for the door at the opposite end of the room. When she was close enough to see there was no longer a door there, she let out another long sigh before leaving the room. Were we actually still having dinner in the middle of this disaster zone? I dutifully sat down at the kotatsu after brushing away a pile of plaster and waited patiently for Ran to return. Yukari was pouting like a child, while Chen sat happily in her lap and continued telling her about her day. Yukari wasn't saying a word, which was the best possible outcome to this situation.
Finally, far sooner than such a large amount of food should have required, Ran returned heavily laden with assorted dishes. Outside of some muttered requests to pass a dish, nobody said a word. Conveniently, Ran never seemed to hear any of Yukari's requests. I suppose being someone's mistress doesn't count for much if they're the ones that cook your food. In any culture, the one who provides delicious food has all the power.
I quickly and quietly moved through several dishes, trying to soothe a hunger I didn't quite feel anymore. Conveniently, Ran never seemed to hear my requests to pass the fried tofu. No matter how much I ate, I wasn't feeling any more or less full than before. That seemed worrying, but what wasn't these days? Ah well, at least it still tasted good. After I ate my 'fill', Ran stood and gestured for me to follow her.
"I will show you to your quarters," she spoke shortly then moved through the wreckage of a doorframe, barely waiting long enough for me to stand and rush after her. I felt like I was forgetting something… something important… Ah yes. I stopped and waved good night to Chen, who excitedly waved back at me. She quickly scampered through one of the fresh holes in the wall with nary a sound. I worry for that girl.
"Good night, Hachi-chan!" Yukari waved at me, still sitting at the kotatsu. Her smile was bright and earnest. Naturally, I walked out of the room without reacting at all. Truthfully, I held no hard feelings for her, but the last thing I wanted to do was encourage her. The quiet giggling that followed me out sent shivers down my spine, urging me to walk faster. Finally entering the hallway, I found Ran waiting patiently with a commiserating look.
"I apologize for Yukari-sama's behavior tonight," Ran spoke with the tone of someone who had long become resigned to their situation. Well, I guess someone has to apologize, and it wasn't going to be Yukari. "I'm aware you had nothing to do with any of it. Despite what Yukari-sama might say, you're not the type of person to get involved in these sorts of things without anything to gain from it."
"Am I being insulted or complimented?" I wondered aloud, matching her pace as she moved languidly through the halls. The slow pace was a welcome relief, as it gave me time to memorize the route and let some of the tension out of my frame. I might not need the sleep, but I was feeling exhausted all the same. I wanted nothing more than to shut my brain off for a little while, but it seemed like every time I started to relax was when I got myself into even more trouble… or maybe that was just when Suika was around. No, no, I was at least partially responsible for those things.
"Take it as you will," Ran stated it so bluntly that I nearly took the response at face value, but the playful smile showed the teasing for what it was. "I would recommend staying clear of Yukari-sama whilst you are settling in. You have more than enough on your plate without being roped into my mistress' particular brand of chaos."
"How exactly am I supposed to stay away from someone that just comes and goes as they please by poking holes in the fabric of reality?" I asked seriously, desperately hoping she had an answer for me.
"You don't," Ran replied just as seriously, dashing my hopes before they could fully form. "Whatever measures you take to keep her out, know that those better than you have already tried and failed. However, the last thing you want is to encourage her by seeking her out on your own initiative." Wow, harsh. Ran really doesn't pull her punches when it comes to Yukari, does she? "That goes for any of the more mischievous youkai, by the way. To help with this, your early lessons will be purely informational, with a particular emphasis on staying out of trouble with Gensokyo's residents," Ah, I see. This is the part where I'm forced to watch the company safety videos.
"Speaking of, when do you want to start with those? I know I said I wanted to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling for a few hours, but I can suck it up if it means getting a head start on things." Let it be known that I'm not the kind of person to wait until the last minute to start their summer homework. No, I'm the kind of person that gets it out of the way ASAP so they can slack off without it hanging over their heads. Ran gave me an approving smile, thankfully unaware of my true thoughts.
"I'm afraid that will not be possible, as I have many duties that require my attention. I assure you we will have sufficient time for your studies, but they will need to wait for the proper time." She looked apologetic for it, but I accepted the words with little trouble. It's not like I expected her to spend every waking moment teaching me, I just wanted to know what the plans were. I quietly shrugged to show this, knowing full well that it was a rude way to end a conversation. Ran wasn't offended and simply laughed as she gently pat my head. I wasn't sure how to feel about that being done to me.
We arrived at the entrance to the room I had used before. Opening the door revealed it to be exactly the same as I left it. I'm not entirely sure why I was expecting something to be different, but I'll chalk that up to expecting the worst after an exceptionally long day. I turned back to wish Ran good night, only to find that she had left without a word once again. How is it that the most well-adjusted person in this house was also the most awkward? Save some character traits for the rest of us side characters, Ran!
I closed the door, let out a long sigh, then immediately and unceremoniously flopped down onto the bed. For a long time, I just lie there and enjoyed the peace and general lack of anything pressing to take care of. My problems hadn't gone anywhere and there would no doubt be consequences from the day's events, but at that moment I was entirely at peac- I shot up from the bed and stared at the door in horror as I came to a sobering realization.
"I left my coffee under the kotatsu!"
Day 2
"Now then, what you need to do next is carefully balance both sides. One mistake will cost you the entire formula," Ran pointed out the problematic spots on the mystical-looking runes. How she was able to glean any meaning from these things was anybody's guess. "Come now, didn't we already go over this, Hachiman? Simply take the equation on the left and use the relevant portions to negate as much as you can on the right, thus freeing up your mind to complete what is left."
"Look, I'm sorry, alright? I'm still getting used to this magic stuff, so your explanations keep going over my head," I slouched into the uncomfortable wooden chair. Who even makes these damn things and why do people keep buying them? Ran stared at me with a mystified look on her face.
"Hachiman, this is your math homework," Ran spoke slowly, her tone slightly horrified. I narrowed my eyes at the paper. I wasn't convinced. She quietly groaned, not for the first time that night. "Honestly, what am I to do with you? Your marks in your humanities and social sciences are excellent, so how is it your science and math grades are so deplorable?" Her words came out muffled as she held her face in her hands.
"Oh, if one side is positive and the other is negative, then don't they cancel each other out? It's just like you told me!" I smiled at Ran. She stared me down through the cracks between her fingers as the smile slipped from my face. "…Sorry. That was my bad," I sincerely apologized as I returned to the worksheet. Hiratsuka had given me a bit of a phobia for angry teachers. For several minutes, the only sounds were the scratches of a pencil on paper and Ran's occasional hums as she glanced over my shoulder.
Ran had showed up at my door several hours later, with her arms laden with study materials. With minimal pleasantries, she had proceeded to run me through an absolute gauntlet of material that left my head spinning from it all. Not content with teaching me magic, she had taken it upon herself to boost my math scores as well. If she could pull that off, that would be the greatest magic trick of all. Still, I did my best to show as much effort in my studies as she was showing to me. This continued for some time, and just as I was starting to lose myself in the tedium and become a machine, Ran interrupted with a clap of her hands.
"That will do for now. I have several tasks to complete before sunrise, so I'm afraid that's all we have time for. Do you have plans elsewhere, or will you be staying for dinner?" Ran asked while gathering up several of the papers I had completed that afternoon. She may be living my life for me, but she wouldn't budge when it came to doing the coursework myself. She left behind the unfinished work and my notes on magical theory, but scooped everything else up into a neat stack.
"Not unless Suika comes to abduct me." I was surprised she hadn't yet, to be honest. "Actually now that you mention it, Yukari said you guys have a TV here? Wouldn't mind relaxing for a bit if I can actually find it." Left unsaid was that I almost certainly wouldn't be able to find it. Ran had made it clear that my experience several days ago would very much be the norm during my stay here. I knew there was a method for getting around this stupid house, but nobody would tell me what it was. My only comfort was that Suika was just as bad at it as I was, even if she did cheat.
"I see, then I suppose I should stock up on groceries… Ah yes, the television. I do not use it often myself, but I believe Yukari-sama keeps it in the study on the west side, next to the guest bedrooms. Will you be able to find it on your own?" Ran shifted the paper to one arm so she could tap her chin in thought with the other. Someone as cool and reliable as Ran really should not have all these cute habits to go along with it. Share the positive traits with everyone else!
"…Just point me in the right direction and I should be able to take it from there." I grumbled, already making plans to get horrifically lost. Ran smiled knowingly at me, while she finished gathering up all of her necessary belongings.
"Give it time. I promise you will gain a sense for it with enough practice. I thought I would never get the hang of it, but I don't even think about it these days. After all, we can't all be naturals like Chen…" Her smile turned strained upon noticing my questioning look. "Chen has only been with us for a few years now. When I first took her in, she sprinted ahead of me with no warning. I watched her turn down a hallway, and she was gone. I couldn't find her anywhere for 3 days… until I started hearing sounds from inside the walls. Yukari-sama was no help of course, so I had to get her out on my own. To this day, she won't talk about what happened, but she's been able to navigate the halls like a seasoned pro ever since." She finished her story and said nothing as I stared at her in muted horror.
"…And you people live here? Like, on purpose?" I asked in awe. I shook myself out of that frankly horrifying train of thought. "Well, if it happens, it happens. I'm not going to worry about it when I might not even be here long enough for it to matter," I waved off the problem like I waved off all my other problems recently. Best of luck with that one, future Hachiman! My lack of foresight will be your downfall!
"That's a wonderful attitude to have!" Ran praised with a beaming smile as she made for the still-open door. "I swear I will do my utmost to meet your expectations as your sensei, Hachiman! I won't let you down!" Ran promised with a fire lit in her eyes. Parting remark delivered, the door shut, and her footsteps echoed down the hall before fading away entirely.
"…I should have offered to follow along and help her with her chores," I sighed aloud as I fell back into the bed. For a while, I considered just lying there and letting time pass until Ran came back to teach me more. It would be boring, but I could absolutely do it. With my abilities, I was experiencing a profound disconnect between myself and the material desires of mankind, such as food, sleep, and- "Damn it, I still need to get my coffee…" I groaned, holding my face in my hands.
Well, nothing for it. Desperate times and all that. I hopped out of bed and made way for the exit. Time to risk my life and mental wellbeing… again. This was becoming an unfortunate pattern since I came to Gensokyo, but at least it was for a good cause this time. I poked my head out of the door into the hall, not quite sure what to expect, but prepared for it all the same. After a few seconds of nothing happening in the ordinary hallway, I decided it was more or less safe. That was my biggest mistake, and I knew it even then.
"Let's see… My room was on the left when we came in, so that means we came from… this way," I recited what I knew out loud. "There was one turn and no forks in the hallway. It should be a straight shot to the dining room." The words were as much a plan of action as they were a firm reminder that I had lost control of my life and nothing was certain anymore. With that in mind, I ventured forth into the great unknown.
My first sign that something was wrong was the realization that my turn had come up after a short period of walking, but it now split into 3 directions. Looking down the hallways was completely unhelpful, seeing as the lighting was too dim to see more than a few feet down each one. The lack of windows meant I didn't even have the moonlight to see by. I stroked my chin for a second, nodded once, twice, then abruptly turned around to return to my room… only to walk directly into a wall. I blinked rapidly at the sudden interruption and scowled deeply.
"Damn it, past Hachiman!" I yelled. I'm so sick of that guy screwing me over! "What the fuck is wrong with this place?!" I reared my foot back to kick the wall in frustration. The only thing that held me back from following through was the fear that the house was alive and would take exception to that. Suika could get away with it because she was 100 tons of ass-kicking in a tiny girlish body, but that didn't mean shit for me.
Upon calming down and reassessing the situation, there were two obvious choices open to me: Stay here, or move on. Traditional wisdom told me that staying still when lost made it easier for others to find you, but there was nothing traditional about this place. Besides, that wisdom was for forests, and I didn't need it for the actual deadly forest I already walked through. I couldn't really see any differences between being lost here or being lost down another hallway, so I begrudgingly made my choice.
"Eeny meeny miney moe…" I chose to leave my wellbeing to luck and randomly cycled through the hallways before choosing the middle one. As I approached the fork, I stopped. "Wait a minute… I have terrible luck." What was I thinking leaving this to luck? I turned at the last second and went down the hallway on the left. If this house really was alive and messing with me, then hopefully I was keeping it on its' toes. I wasn't getting my hopes up though.
"Alright house, listen up. I don't like you, and you don't like me, so let's set the record straight. You feel like messing with me? Fine, so does everyone else. I don't like it, but I can live with it. However," I stopped and glared at the nearest wall, fully aware of how insane I was probably acting. "The second I start thinking my life is in danger, I'm going to start recklessly experimenting with magic. It will almost certainly kill me, but I'll do my best to take you down with me. Do we understand each other?" I asked into the air.
I listened for anything, any sign that something with a consciousness was listening, but all I could hear was the sound of my own steady breathing. I scowled deeper and trudged on once more, keeping a paranoid eye on the endless and monotonous hallways. Think of the coffee, Hachiman… You're doing this for the coffee.
Day 3 (?)
The concept of 'eternity' is an interesting thought. Separating it into its base components, you're left with 'infinity' and 'time', which are just as vague in their own ways. After all, how does one begin to describe infinity? If you think about it, it belongs more in the realm of fantasy than science… or maybe that's bullshit, and I'm getting ahead of myself with my terrible math. I think I'm in the right here, though. The point is, how does one define infinity? If you tell me to define 2, I'd hold up 2 fingers and that would be that. If you tell me to define infinity, how would I do so? On that matter, how would other people answer the same question? Does it even have a concrete answer, or does it vary from person to person? Why can we do that for infinity, but not for 2? What makes them different? Does something being undefinable make it fantasy, or is it something else?
Time is an equally confusing concept when you really get down to it. After all, what's the difference between past, present, and future? Common sense tells you it's the difference between has happened, is happening, and yet to happen, but is that truly the case? After all, let's say you think to yourself 'I am currently in the present.' By the time you finish that thought, it's in the past.
Perhaps that's the key to understanding the concept of 'eternity'. Eternity can be defined as a single concept stretching to infinity in all three directions of time, leaving the observer to define for 'infinity' as whatever unquantifiable number they choose. For example, if one were to wander through identical hallways, not knowing when they began nor when it will end, wouldn't that be defined as an eternity of wandering?
Therefore, with that definition established by my admittedly stupid navel gazing, I think it was more than fair to say that I was experiencing an eternal boredom. I mean, honestly, was it too much to ask for some windows once in a while? Or some art on the walls? I would have settled for one of those paintings where the eyes follow your movement. I know Yukari has them, she's too much of a walking cliché not to have them. She just needs to cut the eyes off the painting, open a gap behind the holes, and have the eyes look out.
Why was I having stupid conversations with myself when I should be focused on escaping? Because the tension of the situation drained out several hours ago and left me with nothing but crushing boredom. Oh sure, I had been terrified at the beginning of my impromptu adventure, but you can only keep your guard up for so long. At least I was still able to see where I was going, despite an utter lack of light sources. I questioned that at first, but just chalked it up to 'magic house' and left it alone. Eventually, I chose to drop my guard entirely and was rewarded by not being immediately eviscerated for it. Sadly, that meant that the only things left for me were tedium and an overwhelming sense of anticlimax.
With that in mind, you can understand my relief and lack of caution upon discovering a pair of doors to break the monotony. If it had been a window, I would have leapt out of it without even checking what floor I was on. I nearly walked right past it due to not expecting to actually find anything, but luckily these eyes of mine were still good for something. Without hesitation, I ran up to the doors and hastily threw them open, far beyond the point of caring about safety in an unfamiliar environment.
It was a library, although one that was vastly different from the library in Chiba. Rather than a library, it was more accurate to call it a book storage. The room was musty, dimly lit, and packed with rows upon rows of bookshelves that rose to touch the low ceiling. No matter which way I turned my head or which row of books I looked down, I couldn't quite tell where the borders of the room lie. Was this my fate? Had I moved on from being lost in a hallway to being lost in a library? More importantly, did I actually care? I'm lost either way; who cares where I do it at?
"Works for me," I shrugged, deciding to hunt down some shady magic tomes or something. It's not like I planned for this, but a lot of my time wandering the hallways was spent ruminating on my situation with magic. Ran was busy with far more than just teaching me, I was lost as hell and probably impossible to find, so this could be a great opportunity to get ahead of our lessons in my downtime. "If I were a pile of magic books, where would I be…" I wondered aloud.
"Oh, one of the shelves has a false back. I wanted to put it somewhere nobody would find it, so I covered it up with the later volumes of Shokugeki no Soma," Yukari's voice came somewhere very close by. I'm sure she was trying to surprise me, but the only surprise here was that it took her this long to show up. Ran sure was telling the truth about being unable to escape her. Still, I can't believe she missed the chance to spook me by filling the hallways with barely audible whispering. I swept the room to locate her and… ah, there she is. Just visible in a gap between books, one that was far too small to allow anyone through, Yukari could be seen with a teasing smirk.
"What if it's someone that just reads for the fanservice? Seems like you're still running a big risk of a pervert finding it." I said, though I was more focused with perusing the shelves. If my search meant pushing books into Yukari's face, well then that's simply an unfortunate accident. Let's see… outdated psychology textbooks, an unmarked journal, a magazine with tips for raising a child, a How-To manual on programming, a recipe book for tofu dishes… "What's up with this haphazard organization?" I asked Yukari, only to find she had vanished from the crack between books. That means that she'll be…
"Of course I planned for such an eventuality. That's why I surrounded the volumes with my finest hentai. Even a fiend such as yourself would be unable to resist the crown jewels of my collection!" She spoke proudly from just behind my back. Yep, exactly where I expected her to be. She leaned over my shoulder to examine the books I was referencing, taking the chance to rest all her weight on my back. A distinctly unladylike snort came from her as she got a good look at the titles. "Hmm… Well, I don't find myself in this section of the house all that often these days. Who knows what I was thinking when I organized this shelf, hm?"
"So you say, but I can clearly see you trying not to laugh at some stupid inside joke right now." I pointed out. If you're going to lie to my face, can you at least pretend that you're trying to hide it? That just makes me angrier!
"Is that so? Well, I suppose I will defer to your no doubt extensive wisdom of people laughing at your expense." She stated completely seriously.
"Make sure that you do. I won't be so forgiving next time." I scolded her with a severe frown. Yukari looked appropriately contrite at my 'reprimand.' What kind of stupid conversation did I just let myself get roped into? Also, why are you still hanging off my shoulders? Give me some space, woman!
"Jokes aside, I came to investigate when someone tripped the wards at the entrance to the library. I figured it was you when I didn't discover a charred corpse at the entrance." I immediately stopped my search upon hearing her words. I'm sorry, what was that? It sounds like you just said you trapped your house and didn't tell me about it. Why am I surprised?
"Well hey, thanks for the 'timely' tip and the horrifying infodump. I'm going to go look at your magic books now, unravel the secrets of the universe and all that, try not to think about how close I keep coming to dying… You know, teenage boy stuff." I ended the conversation and tried to take a step forward, but found my path barred forward by a smiling Yukari. Great, what now? Annoyingly, I could still feel her weight around my shoulders despite her being in front of me.
"Sorry, Hachi-chan, but that's no good. I think you're underestimating me just a bit right now." She wagged a finger in my face like you would an unruly dog. "You'll find that my idea of 'forbidden knowledge' is a bit more potent than your run-of-the-mill practitioner's. I don't mean to brag, but I've got quite the collection amassed." She stated smugly. That sounded exactly like bragging, actually. Besides, you already bragged about a different 'collection' earlier, and I was way more interested in that one.
"Great…" I groaned, "That'll teach me to show some initiative. Any chance you've got something simple enough for this uncultured barbarian to read then? Maybe some cave drawings you were around for when they were made?" Oh look, that one got an eye twitch. Note to self, Yukari is sensitive to age jokes. Save those for when they'll get the best effect without her killing you.
"I'm afraid that task is beyond even myself. Perhaps Chen would be willing to lend you some of her coloring books?" Yukari offered happily, graciously ignoring the snipe at her age. The worst part was that I knew it was a genuine offer from her. "Speaking plainly, I would advise against it even if there were such tomes suitable for beginners here. I give you my word that Ran is an excellent teacher in nearly every subject, if that's what you're worried about." She stopped smiling and hummed thoughtfully. "No idea where she gets it from, really. She learned from me, and teaching isn't something I've ever excelled at."
"Probably the 'lack of empathy' thing," I dryly stated. For a moment I allowed myself to imagine Yukari as a teacher and wow, how did Ran turn out as well as she did? "Look, it's not that I've got a problem with Ran. If anything, she's wasted on me. She's got a lot of other stuff on her plate though, so I just figured I'd pick up the slack on my own time. It's not like I have anything better to do while waiting for her, right?" I shrugged, thinking that would be the end of it. Yukari's good cheer faded completely as she leveled me with a serious look.
"Hachiman…" Oh boy, no nickname. Time for me to pay attention. "If this were anything but magic, I would be inclined to agree. I might even commend you for your initiative." Bullshit, you'd just call me a nerd or something. "Unfortunately, it is magic, which carries risks you are not aware of; risks that affect more than just yourself should they come to fruition. I hope you will not be so selfish as to drag others down to your exceedingly low level as you inevitably crash and burn." She stated it with such bluntness that I felt like wincing, though I resisted the urge. If you looked close enough, there was a hint of concern behind her cold mask of indifference.
"Huh… interesting angle you're going with here," I stated with honest admiration. "Instead of trying to convince me to do what's best for myself, you're arguing for the safety of the people I care about. I'm guessing your next point has something to do with my sister?" I fired back at her just as bluntly as she had. The indifference and hint of concern quickly melted away into amusement, revealing both emotions as the shared mask they truly were.
"Must you insist on not playing along? You'll never be popular with women if you don't lighten up," Yukari laughed happily at her own joke. The real joke here was the idea of me being popular with women. "There's no rush! Take a moment to enjoy-"
"But then again, you were expecting me to see through that," I cut her off before she could fully change the subject. Yukari remained smiling, but I had her undivided attention. I had never lost it. "I assume the purpose was to get me nice and angry by bringing up the subject of my sister being seriously hurt and then laughing it off as a joke. So the question is, why bother? What could you possibly stand to gain from getting me pissed off with you at this point?" I finished laying out my points and waited for her rebuttal. I had hoped we were past this stage already, but it seems that was too naïve. This is simply the kind of person that Yakumo Yukari is.
"Well now," Yukari said after a brief heavy silence, "it would seem that you're playing along after all! Hmmm… I suppose the answer to your question would be, 'Why not?'" She laughed loudly, just a bit too sharply for me to feel comfortable with. Her grip around my shoulders tightened just enough to make me conscious of her presence there. "You're a clever human, Hachi-chan. However, you're still a human. You may try to apply your logic towards understanding me until you're blue in the face, but the only thing you will achieve is a waste of both of our time." With her part said, she loosened her grip and returned to quietly smiling at me with that expectant look in her eye. Well, I'd hate to disappoint…
"I see, so your argument is that you're manipulating me for the sake of manipulation, simply because it's in your nature." My face was rigid and unmoving as I channeled everything Yukinoshita had ever taught me about tearing through other people's bullshit. It was refreshing to be on the other side for a change. "I don't think I believe that, though. You strike me more as the type to use it as a means to an end." That didn't feel quite right as I said it, but I strongly felt it was true in this singular case. Yukari was working an angle here, but I needed more information to work it out. Her smile sharpened, giving me hope that she would give me the ammunition I needed.
"And this is why I say you will never understand, Hachi-chan," She drawled out the nickname, giving it a mocking edge. "After all, would you expect cattle to understand the reason it's butchered by the same people that have loved and cared for it since birth? Even if you befriend a youkai, it's only in the same way a farmer cares for his livestock. You want to know why I manipulate you? Simple… It's because I can." Yukari smiled wickedly, nearly to the point of leering inappropriately at me. I was unmoved because she was aiming for a reaction, and the last thing I wanted was to give her what she wanted.
"Oh, now I get it. Looks like I was wrong after all. You're not trying to make me hate you specifically, you're trying to get me to hate youkai." I laid it out in the open, feeling emboldened by the corners of her lips twitching. "I bet that really pisses people off when you insinuate that their only purpose in life is to be food. Did you rip that off from an RPG antagonist, or did you make it up yourself?"
"…" Yukari was no longer smiling, or showing any emotion at all. She gave me her undivided attention but said nothing at all as the silence stretched on. That was fine, I no longer needed more information from her to reach a conclusion. I wasn't sure if it was the correct conclusion, but I would reach it all the same. I had to be careful here, though. I could feel chuuni instincts struggling to break free from my repressed heart.
"So after trying to get me angry at such blatant manipulation, you framed it as 'all youkai are manipulators' to make me angry at them by association. So then the question is once again, 'why?' If you put that much thought into it, then there must have been something to gain from turning into an 'us vs. them' scenario." I pondered, still feeling like I was missing something important here.
"Don't you know, Hachi-chan? Fear is the lifeblood of all youkai." Yukari had ditched the masks entirely and wiped her voice and face of all emotion. "Human and youkai relationships are adversarial by nature. Youkai require the fear of humanity to sustain their existence; this is an immutable fact. I am simply trying to open your eyes to the truth. Feel free to thank me." The light words were belied by the ice in her tone.
"Bullshit. If all you wanted was fear, then there are 1,000 better ways to go about it that I know you're smart enough to see. You were after something specific here, something that you decided was worth the hassle of turning me against youkai. Was it because you wanted me to avoid youkai? No, you wouldn't have done as much as you have for me if that was the case." I hummed thoughtfully as I turned that thought over in my head. No matter how I looked at it, there was still something missing here, some piece of information to make all of this clear. I needed more from her. I opened my mouth to goad Yukari some more, only to find an obstruction.
"That's enough of that." Yukari cut me off with a finger to my lips, the blank look replaced with fond exasperation. It was the first genuine look she had shown me all night. "As much fun as I'm having getting to know each other, and it truly is great fun, nothing will come from going further than this. I must admit, you held your own better than I expected. Here I thought that was a skill you'd need to sharpen with me first, but perhaps that was my arrogance at play." She pat my shoulder approvingly and finally let me go, to get more comfortable leaning out of her gap.
"Once you know what your own buttons are, it's pretty easy to tell when someone is deliberately pushing them." I shrugged, trying not to let the disappointment show. Yukari had called it a draw, but it felt like a loss.
"Quite." Yukari smiled wryly. "Sadly, it seems we have reached an impasse. I can no longer continue without making things actively worse, and you lack the proper perspective to see this through to the end. Truly a shame, but I suppose it cannot be helped at the moment. I look forward to continuing where we left off very soon." She gave me a saucy wink at that remark. For the first time in this conversation, I let my flinch show.
"Right, moving on forever," I stressed that as much as I could, "Was the stuff about the books bullshit too? Because it would be really nice if that was the case." I said that expecting an apologetic look or a vague remark on the nature of light and darkness or something. I was not expecting Yukari to stand up straight and adopt a lecturing pose, silly as it looked when half of her body was in front of me and the other half still leaning on my shoulders. Confused by the mechanics of such a position? So am I.
"The goals of your lessons are control and comprehension. Anything outside of these two things have been deemed a non-priority at best, or harmful at worst. As such, the best method for you at this stage is constant reinforcement of carefully selected fundamentals and practical experience, while anything beyond what's required is to be put off until you have Ran's stamp of approval." Despite the playful mannerisms, this was also a serious woman that demanded respect. "To put it even more bluntly, Ran is handling you with the kid gloves firmly on. The consequences of your overreaching would be severe, so Ran is not even allowing you the ability to do so."
"…And because I don't know what is or isn't required, or what counts as 'harmful knowledge', information has to be controlled and spoon-fed to me," I finished with a heavy sigh and slumped shoulders. Farewell, my dreams of becoming overpowered by reading ancient books of power. I will remember you fondly.
"Just be patient, Hachi-chan. I understand not trusting my motivations, you can trust Ran's. She's always been a good girl, and she will do everything in her power to do right by you." Yukari said this in a tone I had never heard from her before: fondness for somebody else. I very much doubted this fondness would prevent her from making more problems for Ran to fix. Take responsibility, damn it! Oh wait, I was also making more work for Ran… Ah well, I can live with being a hypocrite.
"…Alright," I finally said after a long pause. "Alright, I can do that. I'll leave the 'high risk, high reward' plays to the protagonists with plot armor." I smirked slightly, and Yukari lit up at my acceptance of the situation.
"Thank you. Truly." Yukari smiled happily… and then her smile turned mischievous. "You had best take your lessons seriously, young man. There's no chance I will marry off my sweet Ran to some 3rd rate prospect!" She giggled madly before slipping into her gap, leaving me to sputter in the lonely library. I refuse to marry into this crazy family! I'd rather die! Also, get back here and get me out of this madhouse!
Eventually I managed to settle down from the tense talk and returned to perusing the shelves. Self-study was out, but I could at least kill time until Ran came to fetch me. Oooh, is that JoJo I spy over there? Don't mind if I do…
Day 4
I've read studies that stated a person with no way to keep track of the passage of time while in isolation will eventually see a degradation to their mental state. I wasn't really feeling anything like that, but I'll be the first to admit I wasn't working with a clean slate. Even before my double-edged magic got involved, there was plenty of isolation to go around. That said, being surrounded by manga and trashy light novels was a good way to kill time. The only downside was how thoroughly the isekai genre was ruined for me. How was I supposed to enjoy my garbage without the biggest trash pile of all?
Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and this was no exception. I could only handle so much reading in one sitting, even when the only alternative was exploring the SCP house. I stood with a loud groan and stretched, creating several noisy pops in my lower spine. The floor and a nearby bookshelf made for a terrible seat, but I didn't want to risk searching further into the library for a chair only to lose sight of the exit.
I gazed mournfully at the stacks of manga I hadn't finished, but I didn't feel up to carrying them around with me while I explored. Some other time, my darlings… I left the library the same way I came in, only just barely stopping myself from waving goodbye to the first bits of entertainment I'd had since coming to Gensokyo. Well, that's not true; Suika probably counts as entertainment.
As I closed the door, I rolled some thoughts around in my head on which direction to go in. Did it really matter when the hallways changed anyways? As far as I was concerned, this house was going to jerk me around until I died of old age. I chose to walk left, not really caring about where it led, resigned to yet another eternity of-
"Holy shit, that's a window," I blurted in surprise. I never thought I'd be excited to go outside, but here we are. I nearly sprinted to the moonlit window at the end of the hallway, excited to finally be out of this demented dominion. I momentarily forgot what I was doing upon getting a look outside, totally in awe at the clear starry sky with the full moon illuminating the area. It sounds silly to say, but I hadn't known the moon was capable of being that bright.
I shook my head to dispel the thoughts, focusing on my objective. A preliminary investigation showed the window to be a thin pane of glass, but there didn't seem to be a way to actually open it. Figures this crazy place wouldn't even have normal windows. Was this really how I was to be defeated? To be shown only a single glimpse of the outside world, held tantalizingly out of reach as I was doomed to forever roam the hallways in search of an escape that did not exist?
The window shattered with a satisfying crash as my foot went through it, spraying glass into the grass below. God damn that felt good. No wonder Suika wrecks this place every chance she gets. I didn't feel like cutting myself open when I climbed out, so I thoroughly kicked out all that remained of the window until there was only a clean opening. I lifted myself up and over through the opening and stuck a perfect 10-point landing on the ground with my arms raised in the air.
"We really must stop meeting like this, Hachiman." My face erupted with shame at Ran's unimpressed voice, just off to my right and out of view of the window. I was never going to live this down, was I? Looks like the house got the last laugh after all. I stretched my arms up and yawned quietly, pretending that had been my goal all along. After I was done with that, I slouched slightly and casually greeted Ran.
"Yo," I said with a single hand raised up, still feeling like my face was on fire. Ran smiled and nodded back, saying nothing at all about the window and my embarrassing moment. What an angel. "…Actually, what are you even doing out here?" I asked, glancing curiously at the empty yard around us which she was simply standing around in.
"Ah, I was doing a bit of stargazing. Nights like this are perfect for it." As if to punctuate the remark, Ran looked away and gazed up at the night sky. "Don't worry about the window, or any other damage you may have created while acquiring the lay of the land. As long as you stay safe, I will be happy to repair anything that needs it," She stated kindly, never looking away from the sky.
"Actually, the window is the only thing I've broken so far," I pointed out, taking the chance to look at the stars myself. I decided to gracelessly plop down on the grass to get comfortable, figuring that this was a far better use of my time than roaming hallways. Going the extra mile, I leaned backwards until my back was flush with the grass, then folded my hands behind my head and stared straight up.
"Truly? Well, I suppose that's good news. I'm still finding scratches in the walls from when Chen got lost," Ran mumbled while sitting next to me on the grass, although far more gracefully than I had. "I would like if you kept at it for the time being. The risks are minimal, and there is an invaluable lesson to be learnt here."
"I hope the lesson isn't perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds." Not only would that be an annoying and time-consuming lesson to learn, but it was corny enough that it would physically wound me.
"Oh, goodness no," Ran laughed. "To speak bluntly, hitting your head against a wall until it crumbles is only feasible as an oni." You can just say 'Suika', it's OK. I understand. Ran continued on before I could say this out loud. "I will say no more on the matter. I wish to see the solutions you come up with on your own. I believe it will be enlightening for the both of us." I hummed, but elected to say no more on the matter. Instead, I savored the comfortable silence while we both admired the heavens.
As I searched the lights in the sky, I wondered if Gensokyo shared the constellations with the Outside. It was embarrassing to think, but was I seeing the same night sky as everyone from Chiba? Well, even if we were, it wasn't as if you could see the stars this clearly in Chiba. In fact, this was the first time I could remember ever seeing the night sky so clearly, despite leaving Chiba on multiple occasions in the past. I had a fairly good view of the stars in those places, but there was always something going on at the time. I had been too wrapped up in my own problems to really take note of anything like this. As I looked up into the stars now and really soaked it all in, I think I really regretted that.
"How have you been, Hachiman?" Ran's gentle voice broke the silence, but the sense of peace remained. "I hadn't expected you to disappear like that, but I suppose I really should have. I wanted to bring you meals, but Yukari-sama seemed to think hunger would be a good motivator for you to find your own way."
"…Yeah, that sounds like something she'd say," I nodded knowingly. Meanwhile, my stomach came alive at the mention of food and growled loudly, demanding that its presence be acknowledged. Fair enough, seeing as I hadn't eaten in… Huh, several days now. Fancy that. A slight rustle of grass by my side drew my attention, as Ran set down a dish containing several wrapped rice balls near me.
"I won't tell her if you won't," Ran winked, then returned to stargazing. "Let me know if you're still hungry. I have plenty more." I stared at her for a moment, then proceeded to dig in with gusto. They were simple rice balls without any filling, but they still managed to be as utterly delicious as everything else Ran cooked. Before I knew it, I had completely finished one in no time flat.
"So, how was school?" I asked while unwrapping another one. Geez, this is why I don't bother with small talk. I sounded like an uninterested parent that feels obligated to talk to their distant child to soothe their own sense of guilt. Source: me. Still, it would be nice to know how she was doing. Some slipups were to be expected, and I'd like to know about them ahead of time, but it's not like she could make my reputation any worse than I had.
"I'm surprised your first question wasn't about your sister," She teased, although the surprise seemed genuine.
"Please, like I need to worry about Komachi. She's the one that worries about me." I boasted, extra proud of my wonderful sister. Ran stared pityingly at me, but it was telling that she didn't refute the comment. "Any problems with classes? It's not really a big deal if there are, but I'd like to know about it beforehand.
"Ah, yes, about that…" Ran flushed and turned away slightly to conceal her face. "A teacher caught up to me in the halls and asked me to deliver some paperwork to Kawasaki-san in homeroom, but I did not know who he was referring to. Hiratsuka-sensei seemed upset when I asked her who they were…" Oh, is that all? That's nothing. Still, Ran looked contrite over such a harmless mistake, so I did my level best to cheer her up.
"Ah, nothing too bad then. Don't sweat it. I barely know any of my classmate's names, so you were perfectly in-character." I said with a thumbs up. Ran was thoroughly unimpressed at my easy confidence. See? This is why I leave the shounen protagonist lines to the riajuu.
"Yes, I assumed as such," Ran said more blandly than I had thought her capable of. "I can't even be upset with you, since it seems your classmates don't know your name either, although it is worrying…" You say that, but your voice is clearly reprimanding there. Go easy on me, Ran-sensei. I'm at a delicate stage in my life, don't you know?
"Right? I'd probably get bullied way more if people actually knew who I was," I fired back. Have you ever had someone talk shit about you behind your back while you were sitting 3 feet away from them without them knowing? Nothing takes the sting out of an insult like someone cursing about 'That asshole Hikitani!' right next to you, let me tell you.
"Of course you don't even care…" Ran sighed with her face in her palm. "Well, at least they aren't afraid of you. You have more than enough of that here already." I almost didn't hear what she said as she mumbled into her hand, but I just barely caught it.
"What? Why would people be-" I stopped speaking as I realized what she was referring to. "Fucking villagers…" I grimaced. I cursed them some more in my own head, but I kept it at that. I still resented them for almost condemning me to my death, but I had to admit that things worked out pretty well. Halfway through willing them to explode for the third time in a row, I noticed Ran staring thoughtfully at me. "What is it?" I asked curiously.
"Hm…" Ran hummed quietly and lightly shook her head. "It's nothing. If it's only to that extent, then we can safely ignore it until you have had more time to prepare." She dropped that ominous line and then returned to stargazing. Being a trope-savvy know-it-all teenager, I nearly pressed her for information. However, Yukari's words from the other day rang in my thoughts, preventing me from opening my mouth. Rather than what I was going to say, I said something else entirely.
"'So long as a problem doesn't cause problems, it can't be called a problem' huh? You're really making me eat my words here." I complained, though my words were betrayed by a slight smirk. Ran glared at me, but she was equally betrayed by a slight blush. I dropped the teasing smile for an awkward grimace. "…Alright. That worries the crap out of me actually, but I trust you know what you're doing… So I won't ask," I said, nearly grinding the words out.
I was surprised by how difficult it was to say, despite honestly believing in the words. I did trust Ran, but these past few days had repeatedly reinforced that my life was on the line here. Trusting someone with your life is a pretty damn heavy show of faith, and I barely knew Ran. I wanted to demand answers and take the situation into my own hands, but at the end of the day… Maybe it was for the best that it was in someone else's hands. My track record for anything involving my own wellbeing left a lot to be desired. Whatever else Ran may or may not be, I didn't think she meant me any harm.
"Thank you, Hachiman." Ran's face practically sparkled from the truly happy expression on her face. It seemed my struggle had shown on my face after all. I looked away and grumbled something back, but I could tell from my burning ears and the quiet laughter that Ran had seen my blush as well.
"Don't mention it," I forced out. Seriously, don't mention it. Ever. Yukari doesn't need any more fuel to tease me with. Hell, I didn't even want Suika to have that kind of power, and she sucks at making fun of people. There's something about someone laughing at your expense without properly capitalizing on it that just pisses me off more.
"Ah, before I forget. There was actually one thing I wanted to ask about…" She seemed hesitant to even bring it up, which had me on guard slightly. Still, I was thankful for the change in subject. "It's just… It's been several days now, but I have yet to actually see your parents, let alone speak with them. Is this normal for y- them?" Ran stumbled on the last word, clearly intending to say something else, but I wasn't going to press her on whatever it was. Suddenly I was no longer grateful for the subject change.
"I guess so," I shrugged, not even bothering to look away from the starry canvas. "If they're busy enough, they just sleep in the office for a while. You'll have to initiate it yourself if you want to talk to them, though. As long as I stay out of trouble, they don't really care what I do. Komachi talks to them sometimes, so just ask her if you're curious." I had more to say, but I kept it to myself. I could feel Ran's stare burning a hole in the side of my head, no doubt silently requesting more details, but I didn't feel like saying anymore on the subject. Talking about my parents always left me feeling exhausted, and I had enough fatigue from the last couple days without adding more to it.
"I see," Ran said quietly when it was made clear I was not going to offer anything more, choosing instead to watch the stars with me in comfortable silence. In spite of the heavy conversation topics, I was honestly enjoying myself. Even without knowing any of the constellations, there was just so much to look at that I never felt bored. I wasn't sure how long I sat there and stared at the night sky, but eventually Ran gracefully stood in one smooth motion and addressed me. "I'm afraid there are some more tasks for me to complete tonight. Would you like me to pack you some food before I go?" She offered kindly. Seriously, what an angel.
"Nah, the rice balls are plenty." That was understating it. Heck, I was barely making it through the dish she set out for me, but at some point I had looked over to find the dish fully stocked once again. I had thought this before after listening to Chen talk about her, but Ran's mothering skills were truly frightening. "Anyways, that's fine. I wanted to stay out here for a bit longer anyways. I might never get to see the stars this clearly again, so I might as well savor it, right?" I meant it as a joke, but the frown on Ran's face made it clear that I missed the mark. Ah, she probably thought I was avoiding the question. My bad.
"Yes… I suppose that's true. In that case, I will be on my way," She spoke slowly, but she made no motion to leave after she finished speaking. I stared curiously up at her as she visibly mulled over her words. "…Your lessons are progressing well. A few more weeks at most and I see no reason to keep your residency mandatory. Any pertinent information can be safely covered in that time, and practical experience can be safely gained with only minimal oversight." Despite the words being positive, they were stated with an air of frustration. Perhaps she was frustrated with the slow pace after all?
"Huh, is that so?" I muttered with mild surprise. Truthfully, I had expected it to take longer, from the way everyone had been harping on about how careful things needed to be.
"With that being said, that does not mean I am kicking you out," Ran continued, snapping me out of my thoughts. That's… odd? Why wouldn't she kick me out if my lessons were finished? She seemed a bit exasperated at my clearly writ confusion. "Although necessary, this style of teaching is far from my preferred method. If there were any other option, I would never conduct your lessons while utilizing such haphazard methods. However, I… well, I have rather enjoyed having a student to teach. Once we have your innate abilities under control, I would… I would like to continue teaching you as my apprentice. If you would like to, I mean." Ran was clearly embarrassed, but she looked me in the eyes the entire time she spoke.
"I thought Chen was your student?" I stated dumbly, instead of actually addressing the offer in any meaningful way. I really needed to fix that habit of saying the first thing that comes to mind when I'm flustered.
"…Have you ever tried to teach a cat something before?" Her body radiated such weariness at that remark that I could safely assume she had tried to do so herself.
"Ah, say no more," I nodded. The scratches I received from Kamakura had faded long ago, but the emotional wounds never healed. Shaking those dumb thoughts off, I mulled over her words. It was a good offer. Better than I deserved, really. Still… "I appreciate the offer, but I have a life in Chiba. I've put it on hold for now, but… Well, I'd like to get back to it. I don't really see myself fitting magic into all that. Sorry to turn you down after all the trouble you've gone through for my sake, but my answer won't change." I bluntly rejected her offer, fully prepared for her ire after refusing her.
"Of course, Hachiman. I assure you, it is no trouble for me." Ran's smile softened further, totally unaffected by my refusal. "Still… If, for whatever reason, you ever find it difficult to live your life Outside, just know that you may return at any time. Even should you choose to not study further under me, our home will always be open to you." Ran placed a hand on my shoulder and no doubt smiled kindly at me. I would never know because I was too embarrassed to look her in the face.
"T-thanks," I said lamely. I wish I could have said more, but Ran had struck a critical hit with her words, whether she knew it or not. Ran simply squeezed my shoulder before truly walking away and into the house, leaving me alone with even more thoughts than I had come out here to distract myself from. In spite of the myriad worries fighting for attention in the back of my head, I didn't let that distract me from taking in the night sky. I didn't climb back through the window until the sun rose over the horizon, obscuring the stars from sight. I would continue the search for coffee and then my room soon, but I needed some more time to think things through.
Huh… How long had I been calling it 'my room'? Great, yet another thought to worry over. I take it back, I needed a distraction. Where the hell did I put that stack of Berserk volumes…
I did eventually find the doors to the library, as well as the stacks of manga I had left behind, but I also found a bento box filled with homemade food waiting for me in my makeshift seat. Of course, there was no fried tofu in it.
Day 5
I relaxed there for several hours, simply letting my thoughts spin around in my head as I enjoyed reading familiar works from my childhood. I hadn't reached a satisfying conclusion to my worries, but it's not like Berserk did either. If Miura can do it and still be beloved by millions, then so can I damn it. I did finish off the box of delicious food as I read though. Funny how quickly food disappears while snacking, even when you're not hungry.
My worries hadn't gone anywhere, but I was feeling relaxed enough that I was willing to take yet another crack at exploration. I took a left on the way out, same as yesterday. At this point, it barely even registered when I walked past a blank patch of wall where there was once a broken window. After all, I-
'You're being watched.' My senses all but screamed at me. I surreptitiously glanced around the hallway but couldn't see a single thing out of place. Was this more of the house fucking with me? Almost certainly, but that didn't mean I wasn't truly being watched. I considered my options on how to respond to a threat to my person and ultimately came up with nothing. I shrugged and set off down the hallway while keeping a lookout for danger. Since there were no good options for me, I may as well stick to the original plan and hope I didn't die. There's always the nuclear option of letting my magic go haywire and taking the house down with me.
Actually, no, I was already sick of this. Forget tact and subtlety. Where has that ever gotten me? I whipped around and glared behind me, daring the presence to show itself. Hopefully, my murderer would tell everyone of my bravery and politely exclude the part about my shaking knees. I scanned the darkness of the dimly lit hallway, not finding anything out of place. Even still, the feeling of being watched persisted. If this was a horror movie, then… I slowly craned my head up to stare at the ceiling, freezing at the sight of a sharp smile with far too many teeth.
"HACHIMAN!" I was swiftly and ruthlessly driven to the floor by the creature barreling into my chest. The tiny cruise missile expelled the air from my lungs and sent me straight onto my back. Ignoring the throbbing in my spine, I lifted my head and was greeted to the sight of inhuman eyes inches away from face. They were the sort of eyes that were hardwired into humanity's genetic code to blare 'DANGER' at full volume upon seeing them.
"Yo," I wheezed from my totally helpless position on the floor. Lucky for me that my big brother genetics overwrote my sense of danger. Chen giggled and hugged me tightly around my chest, making it even harder to breathe. Ah, what a way to go… No, wait, I can't die here or else I'll be cursed to roam the halls as a spirit forever. Roaming them while alive is bad enough!
"…and Ran-sama said I would get extra servings if I found you and I did and I'm going to get extra fish but I'll share with you if you ask nicely so where have you been did you get lost I know what that's like it happened to me all the time when I first came here and Yukari-sama made fun of me but Ran-sama cried she was so happy to see me and-" Chen rambled on and on about a subject that, with the proper pauses, may have made some sense to me. Good lord, when was she finding time to breathe?
"Wait, Ran sent you to find me?" I asked, blessedly cutting Chen off as she nodded rapidly. "I thought this was supposed to be a learning experience for me. That's weird… Did she already change her mind?" I wondered aloud as I stood up, Chen thankfully giving me the room to do so. I would have gone further, but Chen was looking distinctly guilty now as she averted her gaze to the floor.
"Ah, um… W-well, I was actually supposed to just watch you," She muttered while fiddling with her fingers. "Sorry! I got bored and started treating it like a chase and… um… sorry…" She darted her eyes up to meet mine, but she did a double take. Between one blink and the next, her face was centimeters from mine as she stared at my eyes. "Wooooah, what happened to your eyes?! They look so cool!" She was practically gushing as she looked at my eyes. This was a novel experience for me.
"My eyes? What- Oh, right, I haven't been sleeping, so they probably look more rotten than usual." Hm, that was actually worrying. I already knew how grotesque they get when I pull an all-nighter, but I no longer need to sleep. Does that mean they'll just keep getting worse? Ran was right, my magic really is dangerous…
"Huh? Why would- AH!" Chen yelped right in my face and scampered back with her hands over her mouth, now looking panicked. Finally, a normal reaction. "Chen messed up… Chen wasn't supposed to say anything about…" She mumbled a few more sentences I couldn't catch, then she nodded to herself as she psyched herself up. She stood tall and addressed me with her chest puffed out. "Absolutely nothing is wrong!" Chen declared for all the world to hear.
"Uh." I eloquently stated. Her posture started to droop, so I hurriedly continued. "Well, if you say so, then I guess it must be true! Hahaha!" Ugh, quit laughing like a creep, you freaking weirdo.
"That's right! Hahaha!" Chen laughed just as awkwardly back, but it was cute when she did it. Life is so unfair.
"Hahaha!" A throaty laugh came from behind, freezing Chen and I mid-laugh. We slowly turned to face the source of the laughter, finding a smiling face peaking around the corner. I couldn't see much due to the shadows concealing them, but the general shape was still visible. An unnaturally wide grin split the face, sending shivers down my spine. "I. FOUND. YOU." The figure menacingly growled, the clenching hand puncturing the wall as the grip tightened.
"AAAAAAH!" I was more terrified by Chen loudly shrieking and clinging to my stomach than of the shadowy menacing figure. After all, while the facial details may have been obscured beyond recognition, the outline was still visible. There was only one person I knew that both had horns like that and reeked strongly of alcohol.
"Suika, what the fuck?" I asked as the figure staggered into the dim lighting. "If you're going to sneak up on me in this place, at least do some more collateral damage in the process." She ignored my remark and dove into my chest, smothering Chen in the process with her utter lack of cleavage.
"Hachimaaaaan!" Oh no. Suika was crying. I was totally unprepared for this turn of events. "I haven't seen you in foreveeeeeer!" She whined while tightening the hug, and causing a worrying cracking sound to come from Chen. Stay strong, Chen!
"I'm not actually sure because this place has no clocks apparently, but I'm pretty sure it's only been a couple of days." I pointed out. "Also, please let go. I'll be traumatized if you kill Chen." Suika looked confused at me, before noticing the rapidly paling body separating us. She quickly let go, leaving Chen to catch her breath.
"Hehe… Sorry about that." She grinned nervously and pat Chen on the back, nearly sending her toppling to the ground from the force. Chen's bloodshot glare held the promise of murder. "Anyways, I'm actually here for a reason this time." Suika expertly avoided Chen's glare and focused her attention on me. I was impressed by the level of sheer shamelessness on display. I'd need to do my best to match that.
"I'm hurt, Suika. Here I thought you were here because you missed me." The line was delivered with such monotone dryness that only an idiot could have mistaken it for sincerity. Suika instantly began to fret, as she took my remark with absolute sincerity.
"Of course I missed you! You're busy with Ran's lessons, and Reimu's been dealing with some jerks in the human village, so I haven't had anyone fun to drink with!" Your only drinking buddies are me and Reimu? That was so sad that I didn't even want to tease her anymore. "That's actually why I'm here! I met up with an old friend to have some drinks together, and I convinced her to help make you less of a wimp! Ran won't yell at me if she's around."
"Did you have to phrase it like that? You're hurting my feelings."
"Ah sorry, I'm not a fan of lying."
"It hurts more when you say that!"
"Can you stop distracting me? I'm trying to tell you something and you're being really rude right now." I bit down hard on the response I wanted to give to that, and instead settled for a nasty glare. I don't think Suika even noticed. Even Chen had given up by that point. "I told my friend a little about your situation and she offered to give you some pointers, so I'm here to kidnap you."
"Could you explain it again, but this time in a way that actually explains anything?" I slowly asked. Ah, not good, Suika is looking annoyed. Nothing good ever comes from women being annoyed with you. Source: me.
"I covered the important bits! I kidnap you, my friend beats you up a little, you get stronger. Simple and easy." Suika folded her arms as her gaze silently demanded I keep my retorts to myself. It wasn't frightening in the slightest, but there were so many things wrong with what she just said that I wasn't sure where to even begin.
"Who are you taking him to?" Chen spoke up with a narrowed glare at Suika, reminding us both that she was still there. Thanks for picking up my slack, Chen. Seems that's become a Yakumo family tradition as well.
"Ah, well… Sorry, but I promised not to tell when she found out where he's staying. You guys aren't exactly her favorite people, for some reason." Suika scratched the back of her head while looking genuinely apologetic. Even when she had absolutely nothing to do with the situation, Yukari excelled at making everyone's lives more difficult. "She checks out though, I promise! She and I go waaay back." That didn't actually make me feel any better, but no point in pushing any further than that. Suika didn't seem like the type to break a promise, so may as well see where this leads.
"That's suspicious!" Chen separated from me and pointed an accusing finger in Suika's face. Suika just looked amused at the implicit threat. "Ran-sama trusted me to watch over Hachiman, so there's no way I'll just leave and let you drag him off to some suspicious stranger!"
"Oh, that's fine. You can come too." Suika shrugged and lifted Chen around her stomach with one arm before resting her on her shoulder. Chen immediately began to beat at her back with both fists, whereas Suika just pat her back encouragingly. Terrifying. And yet, it was nothing compared to the fear I felt when she turned a considering look at me.
"I'll walk," I blurted out. There was clearly no stopping Suika from whatever kind of scheme she was pulling off right now, so I may as well salvage whatever pride I can. Besides, this was supposed to help me, right? Suika was a lot of things- OK that's not true. She was like three things, all cranked up to 11. Point is, she isn't a liar. I could at least trust that she wasn't trying to screw me over here.
"Alright!" Suika grinned happily. Why the hell did that get me such an approving look? "Hey Shen, what's the best way to get to Youkai Mountain from here?" She jostled her shoulder a bit to get Chen's attention. Chen hissed and attacked Suika's back with a renewed fervor. "Well… Alright, then. Guess I'll hope for the best." Suika shrugged, lifted one leg, and kicked out to the side. I nearly fell to the ground from the force of her kicking a new entry way into the wall… and the wall behind it as well. She sent me another grin before she turned away and stepped into the hole.
"I'm so jealous," I grumbled while glaring balefully at the walls. Here I am, stuck playing by the house's rules, while Suika just gets to flip the table over and win. Complaining about the unfairness of it all, I quickly followed behind Suika before the house got any bright ideas about making me lose sight of her. She had already smashed three separate walls in the short time I was complaining. Chen had seemingly given up for now and was staring mournfully at me with a glassy-eyed stare.
Me too, Chen. Me too.
A/N – Hello everyone! You're probably wondering why this took so long. Me too. To be honest, this epidemic has pretty much tanked my mental state. Shit gets to you after a while I guess, and it's not gonna let up any time soon. I'm not going to stop working on this fic, and I've got everything all planned out, but I can't really make any promises for how long it will take. Regardless, I swear that this fic will be finished, however long that takes. I appreciate all you guys who have stuck around this long, and I hope you'll stick with me until the end!
Onto the chapter discussion. This chapter is a perfect example of why I love writing. You know what my plans for this chapter were going in? 'I want a chapter of Hachiman spending time at the Yakumo homestead.' That's it, that was my whole plan. So I started writing this as a timeskip where he briefly monologues what happened throughout the week, but the monologue just kept going… and going… and going… so then I thought "Wow, I have more to say on these events than I thought I did!" So now every day gets a scene and I have my personal favorite chapter yet. A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one! This was originally going to be a full week, but it was feeling bloated until I trimmed some parts. I'll save those bits for later chapters, so don't worry about cut content.
Whenever it may be, I look forward to seeing you guys next time!