Here we go, finally an update! Somewhat of a downer chapter, our boy is working through some stuff. Keep an eye out for a certain cameo in this chapter, though! ;)
6: Out of Reach
Yato was aggravated. The source of his aggravation walked a few steps ahead, silver hair gleaming in an obnoxiously theatrical way as he turned his head from side to side, utterly failing at what he was trying to do.
They were once again wading through the crowded midday city streets, unnoticed by the streaming masses of suit-clad office workers and trendy young people in trendy-young-people street fashion.
"A week," Yato stated flatly. "A whole entire week, and you still don't know how to bind a shinki?!"
"You speak as if I could will it otherwise," Rabou said acidly. He did not look back at Yato.
"It's your ass that's on the line here! If I was you I'd find a way to 'will it otherwise', and fast!" Yato shot back. Rabou ignored him. Sighing aggrievedly, Yato clapped his palm to his forehead. "Like I said, the first step is to find an uncorrupted human soul. Can you at least sense human spirits nearby?"
Spotting a human soul and assessing its purity was another little talent of the kami. When Yato had been in the market for a new shinki, he'd just roamed around the city peering into every shadow and every corner, till he'd spotted Yukine- his dear, darling, brilliant little puffball, who was now sulking along behind him. Sulking, yes, but not stinging. The kid was learning.
Rabou paused ahead of him, standing stock-still amidst the human river.
"An uncorrupted human soul," he murmured. Yato, wondering if he'd just sparked a breakthrough, hurried to catch up. Yukine picked up the pace to keep up, and Yato could feel a stirring of excitement from him. Guess he really is looking forward to meeting his new kouhai after all, Yato thought smugly.
Rabou stood with his eyes closed, head tilted back as if taking in some incredible, indescribable presence. Yato hovered eagerly at Rabou's elbow; this was it, the end of this aggravating search! At last, a breakthrough! Yato wasn't one to be self-aggrandizing, but he felt it'd be appropriate for him to take credit here.
Slowly, Rabou lifted his right hand... and pointed. Yato whirled around, scanning for the spirit Rabou had sensed. There, in the alley-!
He stared. He slapped his palm to his forehead again.
"Rabou," Yato said slowly. "No. That's an ayakashi."
Rabou glanced sharply towards the alley, and drew in a sharp breath when he saw the ayakashi. It hissed and fled, and Rabou took a step backwards.
"I... I sensed... I thought I had sensed..." he murmured. Then he let out a harsh exhale, pressing the heel of his hand to his left eye. "Yato, I feel as if I have somehow been blinded." His voice was strained.
Despite himself, Yato felt a stab of pity. He remembered how helpless he'd felt in those days between Tomone and Yukine. To say nothing of every other time a shinki had left him... but at least he'd known how to bind a new shinki whenever the opportunity to do so had found him. Plus, he had something Rabou didn't: a safety net, although granted the safety net was evil and horrible and very much unwanted. Even so, he knew what it was that had kept him alive during those dry spells.
"I can't tell you how to bind a shinki, you've gotta remember on your own," Yato said grimly. It wasn't the first time in the past week he'd said as much, but this time it was with the least amount of ire.
"But why?" Rabou insisted, spinning on his heel to face Yato. "If the matter is so dire, then tell me!"
"Even if I told you exactly what to do, you're still gonna have to do it yourself! I can't bind a shinki for you and it's not something you can learn, you just- you just do it! You've gotta feel it, I can't just explain it to you!" Yato insisted.
"And if I cannot?"
The words hung heavily in the air. Scowling, Yato dug his phone out of his pocket- more for something not-awkward to look at, than any real necessity.
"Let's come back here tonight, at sundown," he said. "That's when the boundary is thinnest between the Near and Far Shores. There'll be more ayakashi the darker it gets, but the fact that there'll be more Far Shore stuff hanging around might make it easier."
"Very well," Rabou said quietly. He didn't sound particularly convinced.
The three of them arrived back to Kofuku's place in silence. They sat around the kotatsu in silence, too, killing time till sundown.
Yato lounged on his back with his feet under the kotatsu, arms crossed behind his head, watching upside-down while Yukine toiled away on his homework.
"Ah, man," Yukine muttered, hastily erasing whatever answer he'd written. Yato, sensing an opportunity for mischief, snapped out of his funk.
"Oh hoh, Hiyori's gonna be proud of you!" he teased. "Spotting a mistake and fixing it all on your own!"
"S-shut up, I'm trying to concentrate!" Yukine growled back. Yato chortled and shut his eyes, figuring he'd nap for a bit.
And then, of course, Rabou had to go and be Rabou.
"Yato, ayakashi are human souls, are they not?"
Yato sat bolt upright, glaring. "If you're going where I think you're going, you better not."
"An ayakashi is nothing more than a corrupted human soul," Rabou said contemplatively. "If a kami may be purified and cleansed of blight, then why not a human spirit?"
"NO. No. Drop it. Drop iiiit," Yato said, finger raised scoldingly, as if Rabou was a misbehaving dog chewing on his shoes.
"Oh? Is it truly impossible, then?" Rabou leaned back on his hands, head tilted.
"Look, even trying to tame an ayakashi is enough to kill a kami! No one's ever reversed a fully corrupted soul and turned an ayakashi back into a pure human spirit!" Yato insisted.
"Hmm," Rabou murmured.
"Oi! I don't like that 'hmm'," Yato said sternly.
"What are we talking about, huuuuuh?" Kofuku chimed, prancing in from the front shop.
"Nothing important or intelligent," Yato said pointedly, glaring at Rabou.
"Kofuku, is it truly impossible to reverse the corruption of an ayakashi?" Rabou asked. Yato couldn't tell if Rabou had ignored him on purpose or out of sheer obliviousness, and he wasn't sure which option was more annoying.
Kofuku stared, smiling blankly, and then she chirped, "So! Starting to run out of ideas for finding a shinki, huh?"
Yato groaned, flopping backwards onto the floor again. He glanced at Rabou, sitting on the adjacent side of the kotatsu, from the corner of his eye. Rabou sat cross-legged, back straight, staring at the tabletop.
Rabou's fists rested clenched on his knees.
Once again, the towering edifices of the skyscrapers loomed above them. This time, the orange fire of sunset glowed off their sleek glass-and-steel facades, glinting almost painfully bright.
And winding amidst the skyscrapers, blotches of abyssal dark purple and red against the searing orange sunset: ayakashi. The boundary between the Near and Far Shores was at its weakest, and the things that flowed across it sought to sate their hunger.
"Ugh... creepy," Yukine grumbled; beneath the puffy shoulders of his baggy coat, his thin shoulders scrunched up in revulsion.
"Are there always so many?" Rabou asked.
"Not always. But, it's the end of another busy workday and everyone around here's tired and stressed out," Yato said. "There's plenty of negative emotions for the ayakashi to feed on."
From the shadows of a nearby alleyway, a slithering shape hissed, "Smells good!"
"Negative emotions... and two kami," Rabou commented.
Yato sputtered. "Could you not?!"
In spite of the struggle facing him, Rabou couldn't help but be amused. He was starting to remember, now, that Yato had always been easily riled, even in the darkest times back then...
A flickering image overtook him: Yato, somewhat younger, superimposed over the present-day Yato, drunkenly hugging the dark-eyed shinki girl and cooing over her, an empty jug on the floor at his feet. The girl had cautioned him that Father wouldn't like such behavior... Yato had snatched the jug of wine and downed all of it in one go...
Rabou took in a sharp breath as a jolt of pain shot through his left eye. Father... the Stray... the mask with the eye emblazoned on it...
"Hey," past-Yato said, his voice distant and muffled. He was scowling at Rabou, blue eyes glinting in the muddy red glow from the battlefield fires-
"Hey!" It was the present day, and present-day Yato was indeed frowning at Rabou. "The hell was that? What keeps happening with you, exactly?"
"Visions of the past," Rabou gasped. His hand was clasped over his left eye; he didn't even know when he'd placed it there.
"What, like memories, you mean?" Yato asked.
"It is far more than that," Rabou said. He fought to keep his voice steady against the pulsing pain behind his eye. "I... I can see that which happened in ages past, alongside that which is happening now."
Yato was silent for a long minute. "That's... pretty weird," he said slowly.
"Hey, Yato, you said you're not supposed to remember anything after a reincarnation, right?" Yukine asked dubiously.
"Yeah, that's the problem," Yato muttered. His narrow-eyed stare unsettled Rabou, who instead turned away and swept a scrutinizing gaze over the street surrounding them.
"Come, let us walk. If I am to find a shinki, there is no better time than this, is there not?" he said. He could feel something in the air, something that pulled at him. It was as Yato had said: the boundary was truly at its thinnest at this hour.
They set out, three presences unnoticed and unseen amongst the stream of humanity. Rabou cast his gaze back and forth, studying the streets around them intently. There had to be a pure human spirit, somewhere.
"What's with your left eye, anyway?" Yato asked suddenly. "You keep grabbing it whenever those visions happen."
"Perhaps you might tell me," Rabou said. "There is a memory, half-remembered, of some dark force taking hold of my being, coursing into me through this very eye. Can you tell me of it?"
Yato sucked in a breath through his teeth, wincing. "Yeah, about that... when we fought last time, you know how I said you were kinda incomplete?"
"Yes- a 'shitty imitation', if I recall correctly," Rabou said dryly. That was a hard thing to forget, even in his current state.
"Yeah, that. And remember how I said you absorbed a Storm?" Yato went on, grimacing.
"I believe so, yes."
"Well, when my ol' Stray brought you back, you were basically a hollow vessel. Like a broken vase someone glued back together. And, uh... you kinda commanded a whole swarm of ayakashi to possess you," Yato said. "It was basically a power boost, so you could fight harder and push me to my breaking point."
Rabou, having learned enough about ayakashi to grasp the magnitude of this revelation, stared at Yato in shock. "But why would I...?"
"You wanted to goad me into acting like I used to, back in the day," Yato said grimly. "I'm different now and you didn't like it. Your past self got it into his head that if I was desperate enough, I'd go back to being how I was before."
"It didn't work," Yukine interjected, a peculiarly sharp edge to his tone.
The sorrowful eyes of the round-faced shinki woman came back to him. Kushihime, she who had once accompanied him. She had wept at the end, as his time had run out- and yet, even so, she hadn't stung him.
And then it struck him: he could almost see it, the moment when he'd bound her and granted her a name. It was just barely beyond his reach... it was...
You, who have nowhere to go...
And another jolt of pain lanced through his head, jolting from his left eye down his neck. The memory was gone.
"No," Rabou hissed, teeth clenched. He took a staggering step back. It had almost been within his grasp, he'd been so close-! He clutched the sides of his head, fingertips digging into his scalp. "Why?! Why can I not remember?!"
"Hey, calm down," Yato said. "You're gonna draw more ayakashi this way-"
Rabou spun to face him, fists clenched. "Yato, how much time have I to find a shinki?" he asked urgently.
Yato frowned. "Look-"
"How much time, Yato?"
Yato regarded him in steely-eyed silence for a second, and then he said, "I don't know. It's kinda hard to say."
Rabou turned away, clutching his hand to his left eye again, fingernails digging into his skin. He'd been granted a reincarnation, against all the odds; was he really so helpless to protect it? Could this accursed fog in his head truly hobble him so thoroughly?
A phone beeped, interrupting the moment. Behind him, he heard Yukine let out a sudden yelp.
"Ahhhh, crap! I forgot! Hiyori's coming over tonight for my lesson instead of tomorrow!" he groaned. "Ah man, she's already there waiting for me!"
Yato huffed a sigh. "All right, better not keep Sensei waiting, huh? C'mon, let's try again tomorrow."
"Leave me. I shall continue on my own," Rabou said. He couldn't give up now, not when he'd been so close to remembering. Perhaps the solitude would focus his thoughts.
Yato seemed to understand, because all he said was, "Fine. I'll call you if we get another delivery job. Try not to get lost coming back to Kofuku's later, yeah?"
Rabou heard the faint sound of Yato departing with Yukine. Now alone, he turned and surveyed the city before him. Surely, somewhere on these roads, he would find what he sought.
Yato had taken up his usual spot for Yukine's lesson: nearby, close enough to pounce on any chances for mischief and/or inserting a very helpful remark or two, but not close enough that he might get roped into any math problems. Not that he struggled with math. He'd been a kami for a long time, after all.
They'd left Rabou behind in the city, by his own request; Yato figured he'd end up being called back on a rescue mission for the dumbass when he got lost, but so far there'd been no word from him. Well, if the guy wanted to try wandering around the city alone, Yato wasn't inclined to stop him. Maybe it'd help somehow.
"How about now?" Yukine was asking hopefully. Hiyori hummed under her breath as she examined his work with a practiced eye.
"Mmmmm... yep! You got it right!" she said. Yukine let out a relieved breath.
Just then, a flash of light from the hallway drew their attention. The three of them looked up as Rabou slunk into the room, lowered face shadowed by his hair, shoulders drawn tense.
"No, huh?" Yato remarked grimly. Rabou didn't answer. Instead, he turned on his heel and headed down the hall. Yato heard the bathroom door, and running water.
"Um..." Hiyori said tentatively. "Things have been kind of tense here... is he...?"
"My little apprentice here is having a tough time finding a shinki," Yato explained. "He's gonna have a rough time without one- you saw what I was like before I got Yukine."
"So gimme a raise, then," Yukine jabbed, not missing a beat.
"Read the room, kiddo!" Yato shot back, only a little indignantly. Turning back to Hiyori, he said, "It's something to do with his memories, I think: a kami's not supposed to remember anything in between reincarnations, but he is, and it's interfering somehow."
"Is it really that bad if he can't find a shinki right away?" Hiyori asked, frowning. "I don't remember you being this upset when you were looking for one."
Yato hesitated on answering that. He had his own circumstances, of course, which he was absolutely not inclined to share with Hiyori at the moment. Or ever, ideally. Still, he couldn't leave her hanging without an answer.
"Yeah, well, Rabou's situation is a lot different than mine," he said. "I knew what I had to do, it just took me a few days to find a good candidate. For him, though... he doesn't remember how to bind a shinki at all. It's like some kind of mental block, I guess. And the thing is... we don't even know how he reincarnated to begin with. Since we don't know what caused it, we don't know what it is that kept him alive."
"So, then...?" Hiyori prompted, eyebrows furrowed in delicate concern.
"So... we don't really know how much time he has left," Yato said grimly. "You being here is helping, since you're kinda pulling double-duty by remembering him and me at the same time. And I've been taking him along on jobs when I can, but I'm the one those customers are making requests to. He needs to get his own followers soon. Basically, he's on a ticking clock and we got no idea how much time is on it."
Hiyori glanced anxiously towards the hallway. "Is there anything we can do?"
"No idea," Yato said. "If we could figure out what's wrong with his head, and how he managed to reincarnate to begin with..."
Hiyori was silent for a moment, and then she sat up straight with a little gasp. "Ah, wait! There was something my friends were talking about- it was right before the Stray took my memories. That day is still a little hard to remember, but... I think they mentioned Rabou."
Well, now that was interesting. Yato scooted closer and leaned on the kotatsu's tabletop.
Hiyori continued, saying, "They were saying... ah, what was it? Ah, right! They said there were rumors about a kami of revenge, or something like that. They said if you wanted to get rid of someone, you prayed to Rabou-sama and he would make them disappear for you."
Yato couldn't help but snort at that. "Yeah, that sounds like him. Did they say anything else?"
"Mmm, no. Not really." Hiyori chewed her lower lip for a second, and then said, "Oh, but weren't there a bunch of killings around that time? Mom told me to be careful when we went to the shrine for our new year's visit, since there had been a lot of attacks recently."
"Yeah, I remember that," Yukine said. "It must've been Rabou and the Stray, trying to draw Yato out. That's what they'd said they wanted, right?"
"Right," Yato agreed. He sat back, leaning on his hands. "So the Stray set things up somehow so he'd get a few followers, just enough to keep him alive till we fought, huh?"
"Then... did some of those followers remember him?" Hiyori suggested.
"Could be," Yato muttered. It was a long shot, but what other explanation was there?
Rabou came back from the bathroom, a few strands of damp hair clinging to the sides of his face.
"I shall go forth into the city again," he declared.
Yato sighed. "Sure. Yukine's lesson will be over soon, so-"
"No. Alone," Rabou said, impassively. He turned and vanished in another flash of light.
After a heavy silence, Yato said, "Well, at least he remembered how to do that." Yato decided he'd tell Rabou about Hiyori's recollections later. For now, maybe giving him some space was for the best.
Rabou stood at a crossroads- no, a crosswalk, Yato had called it. That was the modern term. He'd need to learn such things if he wanted to carve out a space for himself in this new era.
Nevertheless, he distantly remembered the old symbolism surrounding crossroads.
"A fitting place," he murmured sourly. "Here I stand, alone at a crossroads, an unfamiliar place in so many ways."
And then, suddenly, he became aware of being watched. He glanced up. A young woman stood, waiting, at the edge of the crosswalk. She was peering warily at him from the corner of her eye, from behind a sleek curtain of shoulder-length reddish brown hair. As soon as she realized he'd seen her, her eyes darted away and fixed onto the traffic signal across the road. Her lips pressed thinly together, twisting downward slightly. Had he unnerved her?
Well, he had been speaking aloud to himself... except she was a human. And humans weren't supposed to notice kami so easily. Had he really drawn that much attention to himself?
The signal changed, and the young woman hurried briskly across the street.
He dismissed the moment as an aberration. And, of course, if he had alarmed her, she wouldn't suffer for long: she would, after all, forget him soon enough.
Did you spot her? Yes, that was Noriko! See you guys in the next chapter.