Author's Notes:

Thank you to everyone who has followed, favourited and took the time to read this fic! I'm alternating weekly between this fic and my first story Overcoming Darkness. I also have another planned story in the works The True Crimes of Gellert Grindelwald. The brief ideas behind these fics are on my profile page if anyone is interested.

I'm still not 100% sure where this story is going to take me so if anyone has any ideas please do let me know! I'd be happy to try and incorporate your ideas into future chapters if it makes sense with the general idea I have in my head.

I'm also not opposed to getting a Beta if anyone is interested. I've never had a Beta writer before but as I'm pretty new to writing it would be nice to have the input of someone with a little more experience.

Anyway, here's chapter three. Enjoy!

~Fiona

Chapter Three – Sanity Planning

I left Dumbles' office feeling slightly more optimistic than I had been. Having some sort of direction renewed my motivation so I headed straight over to the library. It was much, much larger than I had imagined. It was set in one massive high ceiling room with thousands and thousands of shelves. Several study tables large and small were scattered about with some smaller ones hidden in alcoves for more private study. One of the walls adorned several large windows looking out onto the grounds. This is where most of the students seemed to have congregated where it was bright from the natural light which breath-taking views. Next to the entrance was a large mahogany check-out desk where a decrepit older man with spindly silver glasses with unreasonably thick lenses sat hunched over. A bronze nameplate on the desk referred to him as Mr D. Bridgewell. Assuming he was the librarian I approached and asked him where I could find books on healing, specifically comas. He grunted and called over a thin woman who looked remarkably like a vulture.
"Pince! We have a first year show her where to go and don't let her ruin any books!"
Madam Pince was a bit friendlier than I had expected. She explained that she was apprenticing under Mr Bridgewell who would be retiring next year, at which point she would become the school's librarian. While walking over to the requested section she ran me though the rules of the library, which mostly focused on proper care for the books. She pointed out the restricted section, a shadowy area of the library sectioned off with a rope, and advised me that no students were allowed in without written permission from a professor which had been verified by herself or Mr Bridgewell. I nodded along happy that the rules were no more extreme than any other library I had been in, barring the elusive restricted section of course. She left me in the relevant section and I pulled promising books off the shelves and took them over to a nearby desk. I spent some time flicking through and making a reading list of the most promising ones. After a couple of hours, I checked out a copy of Healing Mysteries: Comas, Madness and More and headed down for dinner.

I sunk down next to Remus and helped myself to some beef pie and broccoli, trying to remember whether my eleven year old self was anaemic. It wouldn't hurt either way. Lily came and sat opposite.
"Where've you been, Fiona?"
"Oh, nowhere exciting. I posted a letter and then had a meeting with Professor Dumbles…dore about um, some home stuff, and then went to the library for a bit"
"Is everything ok?"
"It's ok, Lily. Thank you." Thankfully she left it at that and slipped into conversation with Marlene and Dorcas.
Remus must have noticed me silently staring off while I ate as he pulled me into a conversation with him and Peter.
"You did great with those s…spells today"
"Especially for a muggleborn!" Peter added. Remus glared at him and he panicked.
"Sorry! I mean…umm.."
I laughed to myself, feeling bad and deciding to put him out of his misery
"It's fine. I know what you meant. You better get studying though. Else Lily and I will have no competition except Potter and Black, and I doubt they've ever read a book voluntarily" I said with a cheeky smirk.
Remus let out a small laugh, but Peter looked dismayed.
"I don't think I'll get anywhere close to you guys".
"Nonsense, you just have to find your thing. I can barely take care of a plant without killing it, but I've done well so far in Transfiguration and Charms. I'm sure herbology will be a nightmare!"
He looked at me and smiled.
"Thank you"
"Besides, you may not find your thing until third year when we pick our electives. You could be an arithmancy prodigy or the next great seer and none of us would know until third year so just work hard and don't get disheartened if others seem to be doing better than you in the core subjects."
"Th…That's right" Remus encouraged him with a warm smile.
Peter reciprocated with a beaming smile tucking into his own pie. I didn't stay long after that. I feigned a headache and retired early to the dorms.

I sat with the curtains closed and made some notes in my journal before cracking open my coma book. It was an interesting read but sadly most of it focused on ways to wake the person up using the physical body. I needed something a bit more metaphysical, maybe someone's experiences while in a coma before successfully waking up. I made a few notes anyway, just in case.

The next day was Saturday. I spent the day in the library doing homework in between making notes on various tombs. The homework didn't last long, being designed for eleven-year-olds. It was straightforward and I felt myself digging deeper into the topics than required. I was so engrossed that I managed to miss lunch and dinner entirely. Stomach grumbling, I headed down to the kitchens. They were in the same place as the books promised. I tickled the pear and headed in only to be greeted immediately by hundreds of Dobbys.
"Good Evening, Miss. I be Flipsy" one of the elves greeted. "Can we be helping you?"
"Pleased to meet you Flipsy" I said nodding my head. "And pleased to meet you all too" I added waving at the others.
"I got caught up studying and forgot about lunch and dinner. Could I have some leftovers, please? I'm happy to get it myself".
Flipsy looked horrified at the idea.
"No Miss, you takes a seat and wese be getting you anything you want" she ushered me over to the replica Gryffindor table.
"What do you want miss?"
A couple of minutes after I ordered spaghetti bolognaise a plate appeared in front of me. I practically inhaled the food and thanked them before heading to the dorms.

Potter and Black were laughing loudly when I entered before descending into whispers. Clearly planning the start of their pranking career. I started heading over to the girls' dorms when Lily caught me.
"Hey Fiona, you ok? I didn't see you at lunch or dinner"
"Oh, hi Lily. I got caught up in the library" I explained.
"It's ok though, I popped to the kitchens to get dinner" I added noticing the look of concern on her face.
"The kitchens?" she asked.
Fuck. I forgot that I shouldn't really know about them. Especially not after being in the castle for all of two nights.
"Oh, I came across them while I was lost, forgot my map. I'll show you but I think they're meant to be secret" I glanced quickly at Black and Potter and back again hoping she'd catch my meaning.
Realisation dawned on her face.
"No problem. I won't say a word" she said, holding out her pinky.
I sealed the promise with my pinky, biting back a laugh at her childish sincerity. As if summoned by peeves himself, the two boys sauntered over.
"Hello, what are two beautiful ladies like yourselves doing keeping secrets. Care to share with the two most handsome boys in the school?" Black asked smoothly.
Ew, just ew. They were eleven!
Potter gave Lily a dazzling smile and got an eye roll for his efforts.
"Depends, how much did you hear?" I asked.
"I heard enough of your pretty voice to learn that you two have a secret. The rest is yours to tell" Black purred stepping closer.
"Mate, you are eleven. We are not interested in either of you trying to chat us up. It's gross" I said. He looked affronted.
"I'm sorry, but if you didn't hear anything of importance then we have nothing to say. Do we Lily?"
"Nope!" she said, laughing at their expressions and dragging me up to the dorms.

"That was FAB! Did you see the look on their stupid faces? Honestly, why on Earth did they think that would work. I am far too young for that, thank you!"
"No idea, maybe it's a pureblood thing? It does seem like something from old muggle culture, maybe wizarding culture hasn't quite moved on? I mean, they still use quills…"
Or maybe it's because that's exactly how I pictured them being and this is all in my head.
Lily pulled a face and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Yuck!"
I promised I would take her to the kitchens another day as it was nearly curfew.
Fuck. Would she go all Hermione about the house elves? Probably, I imagined she would after all. In that case, it was probably best to get that conversation with dream Lily out the way in case she did something drastic in the kitchens which would make this dream much more difficult than it needed to be.
"Lily, before we go, I have something to tell you about the Hogwarts kitchens".
She came and sat cross-legged on my bed looking worried.
"What is it?"
"First, I need you to promise not to immediately try and fix it, ok? I have a feeling we will need to be clever and do a lot of research before we start taking action. Otherwise it could harm who we're trying to help"
She bit her bottom lip and nodded slowly.
"Do you know what house elves are?"
She shook her head.
"They are small, sentient beings who are magically bound to their masters and compelled to do their bidding. They say they enjoy helping".
"Slaves!" Lily said jumping up.
"I'm not sure but I think their magic is dependent on their master so if you just free them you may hurt them more than help them. They can only be freed if their master gives them clothes"
She looked horrified; I didn't blame her. The house elves certainly didn't get enough retribution in the books for my liking.
"Hogwarts has hundreds of elves working in the kitchens, I think they also do all the cleaning and stuff too"
Lily clasped her hands over her mouth.
"That's awful! We need to help them!"
"We will, Lily. I promise but we need to be smart about it. It's a big part of wizard culture so people will think that we just don't understand because we're muggleborns"
"But…"
"You wouldn't just show up to Japan and tell them they were doing things wrong, right? You would try and learn the history behind the thing first and then come up with reasons why it should be changed and how to change it".
She collapsed back onto the bed.
"You're right but it's still awful".

Dorcas and Marlene came in giggling.
"Do either of you want to explain why Potter and Black are sat in a corner grumpily muttering girls, what do they know?" Dorcas asked.
Oh dear, I didn't mean to insult them that much, it was just so gross.
Marlene must have seen me looking sheepish.
"Fiona?"
"I may have told them they were being gross because they were chatting us up"
"It was gross. We are eleven, yuck!" Lily added.
"I don't know, Black is pretty cute…" Marlene replied.
Lily threw a pillow at her. She looked affronted for a moment before she got a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
"Oh, it's on!"
A large scale pillow fight ensued, feathers were flying everywhere. I lost myself in the moment and enjoyed letting loose. I was particularly proud of shot at Dorcas which made her fall into Marlene toppling them both onto Lily's bed. Afterwards we laid sprawled out on the floor covered in feathers just chatting about random things, including the boys. Dorcas thought Peter was pretty cute whereas Lily was grossed out by the thought of finding any of the boys cute. I was too but for obviously different reasons.
They really are cute but like annoying little nephew cute not potential boyfriend cute.
I shuddered at the thought.
Lily said she thought that Remus was the coolest and I agreed. Dorcas claimed it was because we were both nerds just like him.

It was around 11pm when Dorcas' stomach rumbled.
"I wish we had snacks" she complained. Lily and Marlene agreed, as did my stomach. I was really craving some garlic bread and chocolate. Separately of course. It was well past curfew, but I thought it was worth the risk. If I got caught, I'd just have to try and persuade them to take me to Dumbles. I had a feeling he would get me out of any major trouble.
"I know where I can get some" I said standing up.
"I'll be back soon"
"I'll come with you" Lily offered, looking excited.
I didn't want Lily to get into trouble, even if this was a dream. I wasn't going to risk the imaginary backlash if we both lost a bunch of points. I also couldn't pull the Dumbles trick if she was with me.
"It's past curfew, you could get into a lot of trouble. It'll be safer on my own. If I get caught, I'll just pretend that I'm sick and got lost looking for the hospital wing"
Lily nodded "Be careful"
I grabbed by bag and headed out.

Unfortunately, despite everyone else going to bed Potter, Black, Peter and Remus were in the common room playing exploding snap by the fire.
"Where are you going?" Black demanded.
"That's not really your business" I replied, crossing over to the portrait hole.
"Then we're coming too" Potter said getting up.
"No, you're not. You're going to stay right here and forget you ever saw me"
"Yes, Mum" Potter mocked.
Ugh, how could he be so annoying?
"If you come with me, I won't be able to go where I want, and we will likely get caught for the trouble. If you let me go alone, I'll bring you something good back. It won't take long" I bargained.
"Fine" Black said "You've got a feather in your hair by the way" he pointed.
I brushed it out.
"Pillow fight" I said by way of explanation before heading out.

What on Earth am I doing? I thought. Sneaking through the castle to get snacks for some imaginary people. Why wouldn't I just wake up? The castle was silent allowing my thoughts to echo loudly in my mind. I didn't come across anyone on my travels. I was honestly surprised that the marauders didn't follow me but perhaps they didn't have Potter' cloak yet. I made it to the kitchen safely. There was still a large team of elves working away but the atmosphere was a bit more relaxed. I was soon swarmed by the tiny helpers.
"Hello Miss, what can we get yous?" one of the elves asked.
"Hello, I was wondering if I could get some snacks for me and my friends please? Two boxes of garlic bread and two boxes of brownies and some bottles of pumpkin juice?" we had refilling water jugs in our dorms, thankfully. Pumpkin juice was a bit too sweet for me and I always had water with meals.
"No problem at all miss. Dolly will gets it for you right now"
"Thank you so much Dolly. I really appreciate it"
"Yous don't has to be thanking me so much Miss" Dolly said looking distinctly uncomfortable.
"I want to Dolly, it makes me happy"
Dolly nodded and headed off. She soon returned with the snacks and I thanked her and packed them away in my now, very full backpack.

As soon as I got back Black started moaning that I'd taken forever. I rolled my eyes and retrieved a box of garlic bread, a box of brownies and a large bottle of pumpkin juice from my bag and handed them over to Peter and Remus.
"As promised. Though, as you complained, it's up to Peter and Remus if they want to share" I said heading up to the dorms before they could respond. The girls were where I left them, sat on the floor.
"You're back! Did you get in trouble?" Lily asked.
"Nope! All quiet".
I unpacked the boxes. Lily squealed in excitement at the garlic bread and brownies. Dorcas and Marlene looked at the garlic bread strangely.
"Never had garlic bread?" I asked.
They shook their heads.
"Maybe it's a muggle thing, try it"
Their eyes widened in delight after the first mouthful.
"This. Is. Amazing!" Dorcas squealed.
We stayed up late chatting happily until we were all too tired to stay awake. It was nice to forget things for a while.

I awoke early the next day and slipped out to breakfast before the girls woke up. I rarely ate so early in the mornings but couldn't quite function without a good cup of tea. I spent some time in the library collecting more notes on coma patients, but it was slow work.
God, I missed Google. Maybe I could ask Flitwick if there was a charm to look for keywords in a book. There must be some kind of alternative.

At lunch I was ambushed by the boys before the girls arrived. Potter and Black sat opposite while Remus and Peter sat either side of me.
"You have to tell us where you went!" Black demanded.
"No I don't" I replied, continuing with my pasta. I heard Remus stifle a snort.
"What was that bread? It was amazing!" Potter added.
"Garlic bread. Marlene and Dorcas didn't know what it was either. I guess it's a muggle thing" I shrugged and continued eating.
"Tell us!" Black tried again.
"No" I said firmly. "You're lucky that I brought you back anything at all. It was a snack run for me and the girls"
Black pouted before a smirk spread across his face.
"I'll tell Professor McGonagall"
The others looked shocked.
"If you tell, then I won't get any for you next time I sneak out. In fact, I'm not sure whether I should get any for you at all whether or not you do end up telling after that threat. It's a shame. I thought you really enjoyed the garlic bread". I said dramatically. I took my last bite of pasta and stood up.
Black was spluttering and Potter also looked outraged. Remus was biting his lip and Peter had been whipping his head back and forth throughout the conversation.
"Of course, Remus and Peter are exempt. Maybe you could learn a thing or two Black?" I headed out of the Great Hall.
"IT'S ON WINTERS!" I heard Black call.
Oh dear, what had I gotten myself into. Needing to calm myself down, I decided now was the time to visit the room of requirement.

When I reached the portrait of the trolls learning to dance I thought hard of somewhere to relax and paced back and forth. As soon as the door opened, I quickly entered closing it behind me. The room was cosy. A lit fireplace took up the left wall opposite a couple of squishy sofas with accompanying fluffy throw and a coffee table. In the centre of the room was a large sunken tub with a stack of fluffy towels and a bathrobe. I tried asking for a drink (specifically alcohol) and nothing happened. I tried various food and drinks and got nothing. I then remembered something I read in the books about Gamps Law, or something along those lines, that the room couldn't create food or drink. I sighed. I had been planning on hiding out here for the rest of the day. I traipsed back out and down to the kitchens, greeting the elves and grabbing some bottles of water, brownies, sandwiches, sausage rolls, crisps and other snacks that would survive at room temperature. I didn't try and convince the elves to give me alcohol not wanting to be reported to the staff. It probably wasn't a good idea anyway, I wasn't sure whether my eleven-year-old body could handle it, imaginary or not. Instead I settled for a few cold bottles of orange juice after my first choice Pepsi Max was met by confusion.

I made my way back up to the room adding a couple of additional requests, some dramatic thunder and lightning, a window over looking a storm with lots of rain, a quiet self-playing violin and a duplication of any books about comas from the castle. I ran the bath which filled surprisingly quickly and added some thick coconut bubbles. I jumped in and let the stress wash off me. It was then that the reality of the situation really sunk in. It had been a month and despite Dumbledore's offer of assistance I was no closer to going home. As amazing as this world was, it was nothing without Theo. I was also sure it was a figment of my imagination. Theo was probably worried sick, scared that I wouldn't wake up and I had no idea how to get back to him. I let myself cry feeling utterly exhausted. I was glad this room existed. I needed the space and solitude and the dramatic thunder just fit in my mood. I was a quiet person in real life and being around eleven-year-olds all day and night, had been draining.

I opened my orange juice savouring the citric bitterness. I needed a plan to keep myself (relatively) sane and get myself out of here. Maybe I would come here every Sunday. I couldn't go missing too often, the kids would get suspicious. I also needed to focus on school and do well in case there wasn't a short term solution. I needed to be high up enough to access cutting edge medical research if nothing was available at Hogwarts. I shuddered at the thought of being stuck playing magical shop keeper for the rest of my life without the credentials to continue my research and find a way out.

I got out of the bath, shrugged on the bathrobe and padded over to the sofa. I laid out the snacks on the coffee table. Slowly, I started going through my plan. Sundays would be for regaining sanity and doing research. It would be much easier to access the books here and make key notes than it would be to check them out. The rest of the week, aside from being a model student (academically), I would come up with theories and ideas based on my reading and hopefully test out some ideas. I would try and meet with Dumbles on Thursdays and talk through my discoveries and theories. I felt better with a plan, like I had a way of tackling this unsurmountable task. With any luck I would be awake before Christmas.

I spent the rest of the day engrossed in coma books. There was very little I had found so far that could help me. I did come across the idea that come patients had been known to have vivid dreams in which there are entrenched symbolisms of their regular life. One patient reported that upon realising the symbols they awoke. In another case, one patient's stepfather had murdered their mother and brutally attacked them leaving them in a coma. In the coma dream, the stepfather was portrayed as a large faceless businessman and they underwent a difficult journey spanning 10 years in which many characters from their life were present to get him arrested. When that happened, they woke up. Though, it was unclear whether it was just a coincidence that they woke up after that happened. It didn't quite translate to my situation I was sure I hadn't been attacked and none of the people from home were here with me. The only thing I could think of was that perhaps Voldemort represented something. I hoped not as I did not want to get into that. Imaginary or not I seemed to be perceiving pain in a very real way. I noted it down anyway, just in case. I also needed to find a way to hide the contents of my journal. Perhaps have it show mock entries to anyone who tried to view it. I fought against the exhaustion forcing myself to take more notes. I barely noticed as I drifted off.

I woke up much later with a start. The last thing I remembered was reading a book and feeling very, very tired. I checked the clock and it was 6:00am. Shit. I gathered up my stuff and headed back to the dorms. I was just getting some clean clothes from my trunk when Lily stirred.
"Fiona! Where've you been? We were so worried!"
This consequently woke up both Marlene and Dorcas.
"Oh, hey Lily. Sorry to wake you"
"Where've you been, Fiona?" Dorcan asked.
Crap. I thought I'd got away with it.
"I fell asleep while reading. Next thing I knew it was morning!"
"But the library would have been closed. Madam Pince would have kicked you out"
"I wasn't in the library, I was just somewhere quiet I go when I need a bit of time to myself"
"But we've only been here for a few days" Dorcas said"
Yes, but I've been trapped in this stupid dream for over a month and want to go home!
"Yeah but I only recently learned magic was real and suddenly it's everywhere and there's nowhere for just me. Even in the orphanage I had my own room" I felt my voice start to crack.
Keep it together.
"It's just difficult"
Lily leant over and touched my hand.
"I understand" she said with a small smile.
"Yeah, I get it too. Sorry" Dorcas said.
"Anyway! You missed an argument between Lily, Snape and Potter" Marlene chipped in.
Lily huffed.
"Potter doesn't like me hanging out with Sev because apparently all Slytherins are evil. He seems to just start fights with him for no reason!"
"I'm sorry, Lily. Potter seems like he's being a right git".
She nodded. That's something I hadn't considered; do I try to change the story more than my current presence already has? I mean I'm not exactly playing with real lives.
"He totally fancies Lily" Dorcas added.
"Ew! He does not!" Lily complained while I laughed.
"I don't know what you're laughing about" Marlene said with a smirk "Black just wouldn't shut up about where you were"
"Ew, ew, ew!"

We headed out to breakfast together and I was surprised to see Potter and Remus already there. They looked away as soon as we got there. Weird. It was unusual to see Potter without Black. Maybe they had a fight. As I was tucking into my toast, I heard Marlene shout to watch out. Before I knew what was happening, I was soaked in pumpkin juice. It had also hit Lily and she was not happy.
"What the fuck?" I cursed, completely forgetting my eleven-year-old brain.
Potter burst out into laughter. I was going to argue when Lily charged right up to him.
"Oh, you think this is funny do you Potter! Spill pumpkin juice on a couple of your house mates how inventive. You are lucky we have a free first period!" she shouted before grabbing my arm and yanking me off to the dorms. Little did we know that Peter and Black were waiting for us in the entrance hall with torn open pillowcases. They threw the feathers at us which due to the sticky pumpkin juice, got caught in our hair and stuck on our skin and robes. They burst out laughing. Potter came running round the corner and pointed laughing at Lily specifically. Lily's eyes started to burn with tears. Dorcas and Marlene came rushing out too glaring at the boys.
"Come on we'll get you cleaned up before class" Dorcas said.
"Take Lily I'll be with you in a moment" I said glaring at Potter and Black.
"Ooooooh, Winters is angry" Black mocked whereas Peter had taken a step back.
As I stood there, a bunch of other students including some Slytherins had gathered around.
"Why did you include Lily?" I demanded.
Black looked at me confused.
"This was between you and me. You had no need to include her in this"
"Well maybe she shouldn't be such a snake lover then!" Potter added.
I rounded on him.
"And maybe you shouldn't be such a bigot. There is nothing wrong with Slytherins! They are just a house! If the whole house was evil, they would use the hat to sort the evil kids and kick them out but guess what? They don't. They teach them!"
Black decided that now was the best time to mock my voice, clearly unable to come up with a reasonable argument.
I strode up to him now feeling pretty peeved.
"It. Is. On. But bear in mind that if you bring Lily into this one more time you will regret it"
I stormed off to oohs from the crowd.

Between Marlene and Dorcas' efforts Lily and I made it to Defence Against the Dark Arts feather free with the sticky pumpkin juice cleared from our robes and bodies. Lily was clearly still quite upset, and both the other girls were angry at the boys on her behalf. Lily and I sat at the front of the class as usual. The set-up didn't differ drastically from the other classrooms but had quite a few interesting posters on various hexes. Professor Forsythe was friendly enough though not the most exciting character. The first class focused heavily on health and safety particularly as we would be later casting spells on one another. The homework was a review of the safety rules and a short essay on why they were important and the consequences of not heeding them.

Despite how boring Defence was, nothing could have prepared me for Professor Binns' class. The History of Magic classroom was reminiscent of my old muggle classrooms but without the colourful posters or decoration. The room was devoid of anything apart from the desks. As soon as Binns started droning on in a monotone voice my focus started to slip. Glad that I was prepared, I retrieved the textbook from my bag and quietly made notes. Either he didn't notice or didn't care. He seemed completely oblivious to the class falling asleep heads on their respective desks. Lily and Remus were the only ones with the determination to focus on his lecture.

After class, I grabbed Lily while the others were distracted and dragged her downstairs to the kitchens. Luckily, none of the others saw us sneak off. Lily was awed by the adorable creatures and I was glad that I had warned her beforehand as I could tell she was uncomfortable with their niceties. The elves themselves seemed super excited to have another visitor and were falling over themselves to help us. We sat and had some tea and brownies before heading back.
"They seem happy…" she said.
"Yeah, I think they get upset if you argue with their way of life. They seem to really believe that this is what they're meant to do".
"It's still horrible" Lily said, looking as though she was going to cry.
"I know but we need to research the laws and understand everything before we try and change it. We don't want to make things worse for them".
She nodded.

The next day we didn't have class until second period in the afternoon which meant our morning was free. Lily and I spent the morning in the library catching up with homework. At one point Severus came over.
"Hello Snape. I'm Fiona Winters. It's nice to meet a friend of Lily's" I said holding out my hand.
He stared at it until Lily nudged him.
"Sev!"
He took my hand. "Erm…yes. Nice to meet you too" he said looking distinctly uncomfortable.
"I don't think Slytherins are evil just because they're Slytherins and I heard Potter and Black are being unlikeable twats. You're welcome to join us" I added.
He raised his eyebrows and sat down awkwardly next to Lily and stared at me as if he wasn't quite sure what to make of me.
"Have you had History of Magic yet? If not, be one hundred percent ready to die of boredom. I recommend that you bring the textbook and spend some time making notes".
"Is that what you were doing this class?!" Lily asked "I should have thought of that! He was the worst teacher I've ever had! Even worse than my old maths teacher Mr Philips!"
Turns out Snape had the honours on Friday. We spent the morning in amicable silence and headed down to lunch together.

At lunch I noticed that Lupin was looking very ragged. He had dark marks under his eyes and his skin was pale.
"Everything ok, Lupin?" I asked sitting opposite.
He looked back extremely nervous.
"I…I'm f…fine"
"He was unwell yesterday, spent the night in the hospital wing but he's ok now" Black chipped in.
Of course, it must have been a full moon last night. I completely forgot. Wolfsbane wouldn't have been invented yet either. I wonder what it's made of? None of the canon went into the actual recipe aside from that it contains wolfsbane so there's not much hope of me "inventing" it early… Poor kid.
He seemed exceptionally jumpy whenever someone spoke to him.

The flying lesson was a complete disaster. We were sharing with the Slytherins and Potter was being a complete and utter arrogant show off. Snape managed the basics, but Potter laughed loudly when Snape landed a bit awkwardly. This caused the other Slytherins to retaliate and soon Madam Hooch, looking strangely identical to her film counterpart, was blowing her whistle and deducting five points from each house. The peace didn't last long as soon Potter had started on Snape again causing another retaliation from both sides. This forced Madam Hooch to stop the lesson early. Four people from each house ended up with detentions including Potter, Snape and Black. On the way back to the castle Snape practically disappeared. Lily rounded on Potter calling him a big-headed toad. Offended, he called her a ginger snake-loving weirdo.
I definitely cannot put up with seven years of this...

Astronomy was extremely boring. I had never been interested in space and had no interest in sitting on a freezing cold tower mapping stars in the middle of the night. The astronomy professor was annoyingly enthusiastic, and I was struggling to cope. I was so tired and longed for a Red Bull to get me through. Remus looked extremely pale and shaky. I thought perhaps the moon was still affecting him a little. I pointed it out and offered to take him to the hospital wing. Professor Velton accepted but Potter and Black were both outraged and claimed that as his best friends they should be the ones to take him. Remus just looked awkward and a little scared. The Professor told the boys to focus on their star maps.

Lupin was quiet on the way back and looked as though he was going to pass out.
"You can lean on me if you want" I offered.
He grit his teeth and shook his head.
"Piggyback? I'm stronger than I look" I think.
He shook his head again.
We didn't make it much further before he leant against the wall breath ragged, skin pale and clammy.
"I'm sorry, you've lost your decision privileges" I said approaching him.
He tried to protest but was far too weak and blacked out.
Fuck.
I scooped him up into some weird bridal carry, luckily, he was lighter than I thought, and took him down to the hospital wing. It was pretty lucky as my arms were especially scrawny at this age, only being marginally better in adulthood.

Madam Pomfrey immediately levitated him over to a bed. I told her what happened, and she thanked me for bringing him.
"I'll tell the others that he's ok. He just shouldn't have stayed up so late after being sick last night and that he should be out tomorrow" I offered before she tried to explain his sickness to me.
She thanked me and I headed back to the common room to wait for the others. When they got back, I strode over to Black, Potter and Pettigrew.
"Lupins ok, he just shouldn't have stayed up so late after being sick yesterday. He should be fine tomorrow"
"We would have taken him. He's our friend" Black pouted.
I sighed "He's allowed more than you guys as friends".
They didn't have anything to say in response, so I headed to bed.

It was another lazy morning on Wednesdays, scheduled so people could sleep in after astronomy. I popped to the kitchens and grabbed a couple of brownies before heading to the hospital wing. I offered one of the brownies to Pops. She regarded me suspiciously.
"I just thought you may need a sugar boost. I was picking one up for Remus anyway"
She gave me an odd smile and thanked me. I headed over to Remus' bed where he was sat propped up reading.
"Hey, I brought you a get well soon brownie" I said handing it over.
He took it awkwardly.
"Th…th…thank you. I'm s…sorry about last night" he said looking away.
"No worries, you've got nothing to be sorry for. Everyone gets sick sometimes"
He seemed troubled as if he wanted to rage at how his Lycanthropy made him sick every month but knew it was a secret.
"Are you going to be out for potions?"
He nodded "I th…think so"
"FAB! I'll see you there" I said heading out.

Potions was held in the dungeons with a younger, slightly less round, Horace Slughorn. The room was large and somehow drafty despite the lack of windows. The back room had sinks, cleaning equipment and a large cupboard full of spare ingredients and tools. The desks were set up so that you could have your cauldron over the fire in the middle with workspace either side. The front of the room had Horace's desk and a large chalkboard. Gryffindors and Slytherins were taught together and Slughorn told everyone pair up as we entered the room. There were an odd number of students, so I set up on my own next to Snape and Lily.
"Oh, Miss. You can join a pair if you like" Slughorn offered
"That's ok, Sir. I don't mind working on my own. Though, I may change my mind next lesson if it goes horribly if that's ok?"
He chuckled and let me continue. I heard whispers from the Slytherins. A couple of the boys seemed to be glaring at Lily.
Of course the pureblood prejudice had copied over into my dream. Why wouldn't it?
Surprisingly, my potion went relatively well, especially considering I was brewing on my own. It was second only to Snape and Lily's perfect concoction. The Slytherins all passed. Black and Potter's potion was passable but Lupin and Pettigrew's was a disaster.

Slughorn kept Lily, Snape and I behind after class. He praised us on our work and asked about our heritages. He nodded at Snape, apparently Prince was a well-known name in potions. He was outwardly surprised that Lily and I were both muggleborns, to an extent that it was offensive. Lily seemed a little hurt and I felt Snape bristle next to us. Slughorn seemed unsure on what to say in response to our reactions.
"I'm sure you didn't mean it like that, Sir. You just meant that we are undiscovered talent as we don't have a long family history of potions excellence like some others. Lily and I could be the first in a long line of potions masters couldn't we?" I asked, looking him dead in the eyes.
"Yes, of course Miss Winters!" he said enthusiastically. "In fact, I hold a little club for those who I think have talent and would like to invite the three of you to attend"
Lily seemed to have perked up a bit.
"Yes, of course Sir I would be delighted!" she replied.
Snape nodded his head and thanked him.
Ugh, Slughorn is just as slimy as I imagined him.
"It would be my pleasure, sir".

When we left Lily turned to Snape.
"Your house don't like me much because I'm a muggleborn and your friend. Is that right, Sev?"
He shifted awkwardly.
"They're very biased but you know I'm not like that, Lily"
"I know, but even your head of house!"
Lily was getting visibly upset now.
"Lily, Snape isn't going to abandon you just because a few people in his house are bigoted arseholes"
Lily stared at me in shock when I swore. Even Snape looked surprised. It took me a while to figure out why, I swore all the time.
Fuck, not when I was eleven though…
"Raised in a barn, Winters?" Snape snarked, attempting to joke.
"A muggle orphanage actually"
"Snape went pale "I'm sorry, I didn't know…"
"We all have our issues. It's fine Snape, honestly. I'm just not used to censoring my language. It's a miracle I've made it this far!"
God, I wanted a proper conversation with adults.
Snape just nodded clearly keeping his mouth shut to stop himself from making things worse.
"Anyway, my point is, you're stuck with Snape forever because he's not going to abandon you because of some archaic, institutionalised blood purism, ok?"
She sniffed "ok".

Herbology on Thursday morning was held in Greenhouse one out on the grounds. The air was crisp and cool, and our breath fogged up the glass. There was one long table in the middle with an assortment of plants, soil and tools. A young Professor Sprout stood at the end of the table, covered in dirt, and lectured us on the various tools and the basics on magical gardening. We went around trying out the equipment, learning where it was stored and how the greenhouse was organised. It was all completely new to me having never really gardened in the real world; most plants died within a few weeks of my absent-minded care. The only one that lived was a scraggly spider plant that sat on my kitchen windowsill. The class was very interactive for an introduction lesson and I couldn't just zone out like I wanted to. The whole lesson just reminded me of my younger sister and her love for strange plants and by the end I was feeling rather melancholic.

Dorcas, Lily and Marlene kept asking how I was and even Remus had shot me a couple of worried glances after I had refused to answer their questions with using more than one word.
I couldn't possibly explain why I'm feeling so upset right now.
After dinner, Black bumped into me accidentally running up to Potter for a piggyback and I caught myself swearing at him.
Couldn't they just walk like normal people? Of course not. They were annoying imaginary children. I really, really can't take it much longer. Especially after the month in the orphanage. If I'm going to be forced to interact with imaginary people, I might as well try and get some imaginary adult friends for the sake of my sanity.
I decided that I would try and get some more of the teachers brought into the loop about my condition. I spent the evening thinking about who best to pick, they needed to be bearable after all.
Hopefully Dumbles will agree when I meet with him tomorrow…