Crazy times! Thanks for everyone who is reading. And thank you for all the comments. I hope everyone is enjoying it so far. I know I hit you with a rough chapter last time and it's gunna be rough for a little while. Especially for Emma. As always I love hearing from you guys!
Enjoy.
Regina
"When are they going to let me out of here?" Henry heaved out a bored sigh and fell back heavily onto his pillow.
Emma shuffled the deck of cards they found in the room, sitting cross legged at the end of his hospital bed and smiled up at Henry. "I promise we are going home soon, kid. We have to make sure you didn't damage that big ole head of yours too bad." Emma tried to keep the mood light, knowing that deep down she still was unsure of how everything was going to play out. She reached out and ruffled his hair. He pushed her hand away and fixed his hair back to the way it's previously still messy state.
They still had not let her in to see Regina despite her constant bombardment of questions for every nurse that came in to check on Henry. She made sure to give them hell for it, but there was nothing much they could do. She was still considered in "critical condition" and was not allowed to have visitors. Emma desperately needed to see her.
Graham had been in and out for the last two days. He made sure to bring Emma food from Granny's and even brought her a fresh pair of clothes from her apartment, which Red was instructed to retrieve. Emma had been sleeping in Henry's hospital room since they let her in two days ago. All things considered, he seemed like he was going to be fine. There was a pretty big cut across his eyebrow just above his left eye and besides a few bruises, everything seemed to be pretty normal.
Emma pulled herself off the bed and her cold bare feet met the floor. She shivered from the sudden change in temperature. Henry fiddled with his IV's and looked over at his mother now seated on her bed/couch.
"Is Regina going to be okay?" He asked out of the blue. Emma's eyes darted toward him, and she felt a terrible sinking feeling in her chest. She tried to swallow the knot that had formed in her throat.
She sat up on the edge of the seat, crossing her hands on her knees. "Well, the doctors haven't really given me much information. They are still running some tests. I'm sure today or tomorrow we will be able to go see her." Emma didn't want to depress Henry with any more bad news. She figured he could take some better news for a while. At least until all of this just became a memory.
"I just… feel kind of bad." Henry's voice dropped.
"Why would you feel bad? It was an accident." Emma assured him.
"Yeah, but… idk." He leaned his head back on the pillow, staring straight out at the white wall across from him.
"Henry, look, none of this is your fault if that's what you are trying to say. This kind of thing happens. There isn't much we can do. Regina is in good hands, so are you, and we are going to get through this. Together." Emma reached out and grabbed a hold of Henry's hand, squeezing it hard in her own.
Graham popped his head into the room and startled both of them. "Hey! There's the man. Still alive and kicking I see." Graham announced as he stepped into the room. Henry sat up straighter and smiled as the man walked in. Emma released Henry's hand and gave Graham a stern look, not appreciating his particular choice in humor.
"Guess what I brought you?" Graham stepped up to the bed, his arm behind his back. Emma eyed him, curious as to what he could be hiding. When the orange basketball emerged from behind Graham's back, Henry's face immediately perked up, and Emma smiled shaking her head. That boy was going to burn out of basketball before this year was up.
"Thanks, Graham!" Henry tossed the ball up in the air like he was shooting a basket and then caught it in his lap.
"Yeah, you know since you missed going to your camp this weekend, I figured this would help lift the spirits." Graham smiled as his eyes wondered toward Emma.
"I got you something too." He made his way around the bed and sat next to Emma. She sat up as he handed her a paper bag.
"Smells like Granny's famous lasagna." Emma smiled a little eyeing the warm bag in her hands.
"Yeah, she practically forced me to bring it to you. She knows you are not eating enough." He rubbed his hand through his scruff on his cheeks.
"Thanks." She said, happy to have the extra food, and set the bag on the seat next to her.
Emma and Graham watched as Henry became immersed in trying to spin his new basketball on the tips of his fingers.
"You know, I'll be happy to stay with the boy if you need to take a break. I told Phillip to cover all my calls today. You really should sleep in a real bed." Graham offered his help, just as he had done every day he had been by to finish. Emma really did appreciate the offer, but she wouldn't risk not being here and missing news about Regina.
"Thanks, Graham. But really I'm fine. I need to stay here. I have to be here if something happens." She forced a small smile his way. He sighed, defeated, and then rose from his seat.
"Well you two have fun. I told Mrs. Newman down the hall that I would bring her a piece of pie from Granny's. I shouldn't keep her waiting, she may not have much time to waste." He smiled and tapped his watch.
Emma rolled her eyes at his humor. Usually she would probably let out a small laugh at his jokes, but she was really just not in the mood for laughing.
"Thanks for the ball, Graham." Henry waved as the Sheriff made his way out into the hallway, awkwardly dodging one of the nurses turning the corner. Henry stopped tossing the ball and let it fall into his lap between his legs. She watched him as his features seemed to have perked back up with the distraction of his basketball. Emma hated to see him down, and she wanted so much to make him happy, but she could tell the wreck was still haunting him.
"Hey, Graham. Wait up." Emma glanced over at Henry as she left the room after the sheriff.
Graham stopped mid stride and turned back toward Emma.
"I, uh… just wanted to uh… thank you. You know for Henry. If you hadn't of been there, well, it could have been much worse. So thank you. I owe you a lot." She glanced up at his eyes and then turned to look at Henry who was happily tossing his new basketball up and down.
"You don't have to thank me for doing my job, Emma." He looked down at her.
"Yeah, yeah I do. This whole thing with him, and… Regina…" She swallowed hard and pulled her hand through her hair uneasily. "It's been rough, and you have been so great with everything." She admitted.
"Emma if you need anything, you know you can come to me."
"Yeah, I know." She raised the corner of her lips and pushed her hair behind her ears. He smiled back at her thinly, and as quickly as she came she headed back into Henry's room. He knew how much she was hurting. It was the same hurt he felt when he lost his parents when he was just a boy. The same hurt he saw in people who had lost loved ones or were waiting to hear the news. He felt terrible for Emma. He wished he could tell her everything he knew, but knew she couldn't take that kind of hit. Not now. Not yet.
"You think they'll still let me on the team at school?" Henry asked eyeing his ball as Emma made herself sort of comfortable once again on the couch next to his bed.
"What do you mean?" Emma raised an eyebrow at him.
"Well you know, I'm injured and all."
"Kid, you just got a few cuts and bruises. I think you will be fine. Besides Coach Jones is excited to have you on the team. He says he's been watching you play at the middle school. You'll probably already be a starter when you get there next year. And guess who will get to come to all your games and embarrass you? Me!" She smiled pointing to herself.
"Oh my god, please mom no. I'll already be a dork as a freshman, I don't need any more problems on my back."
"So now your mother is a problem?" Emma sat back, playfully pouting and crossing her arms over her chest.
"Mom, of course not. You know what I meant." He tilted his head toward her.
"I know, kid. Like mother like son." She smiled at her own compliment.
He rolled his eyes and laughed a little. It was nice to see him smile. They had been constantly busy for so long that Emma hadn't really got to spend much quality time with Henry. It was nice to just sit around and talk, even if it was in the white walled room of the hospital.
That night Emma abruptly woke up, the darkness of the room sitting heavily over her. She sat up and rubbed her eyes as they adjusted to the small light coming from underneath the door. Henry shifted under his sheets as Emma raised herself from the couch and made her way to the door. She opened it as quiet as possible and closing it behind her when she was in the hallway she looked around for anyone else who may have caught the insomnia bug.
She yawned, stretching her arms high above her head causing her white tank top to lift above her stomach. The cold air hitting her skin gave her goose bumps and she crossed her arms around her chest as she squinted down the hallway. She needed to stretch her legs. Graham was right, she needed to sleep in a real bed. But not yet. She had to wait. She needed to be here in case something happened.
The hallways were bright considering how dark it was outside. She stopped and looked out one of the windows, realizing just how little light the town let off into the sky. It almost looked like she was in the middle of nowhere.
She found a nurses station around the corner and stepped up to the counter where a red headed nurse was quietly scribbling away on some paperwork.
"Hey." Emma leaned over on top of the counter. The nurse's whole body jolted in surprise and she let out a small gasp as she was so involved in her work that she didn't hear or expect anyone to be wondering the halls at this hour.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Emma apologized, holding back a small giggle.
The nurse smiled as she collected herself. "It's quite alright. I'm not used to anybody walking around in the middle of the night. Do you need something?" She looked at Emma concerned, noticing how tired she looked.
"Do yall have a break room or something? I could really use some coffee." Emma said sleepily, yawning at the end of her words.
"Yeah if you go straight here, and turn left, it will be the first door on the left. I just made a fresh pot not too long ago so it should still be warm." The nurse smiled again. The phone rang between them and the nurse quickly answered it.
Emma mouthed a "thank you" and then headed down the hallway in the direction she was pointed.
Regina Mills? She is O negative.
Emma's ears perked up at Regina's name just before she rounded the corner to the next hall. She froze and pressed her back up onto the wall where the nurse couldn't see her and continued to listen to the conversation.
No, they gave her two at lunch and then she should be on another one tonight. Yes. Yes. No, her chart indicates the levels have increased slightly, but not enough to be taken off. No. I'll tell the doctor when he gets here in the morning. Okay. Thank you.
Emma's heart raced in her chest as she stood paralyzed by the conversation. She felt her body get heavier as she leaned up against the wall soaking in the words. What was all this secrecy around Regina? She didn't understand why the doctors just couldn't tell her anything. She had learned more about Regina in that phone conversation than she had in three days.
After she got her coffee she decided to head back to the nurses station and maybe gain some more information about Regina. At this point, she hadn't even been told what room she was in, so Emma figured she would give it a try.
"Hey, can I ask you another question?" Emma pulled her arms closer to her, the steam from the coffee cup tickling her nose.
"Sure." The nurse said enthusiastically.
"Would you be able to tell me what room Regina Mills is in?" Emma threw the question out.
"Yeah. Are you family?" The nurse asked.
"Well… sort of. We are together." Emma answered.
"Oh." The nurse eyed her. "Well I'm afraid we can't give out any information unless you are a relative or an emergency contact."
"Well, she doesn't really have any family left. I'm pretty much all she has." Emma waited as the nurse flipped through her file.
"What's your name?" The nurse asked.
"Emma Swan." The blonde tapped her the toe of her boot nervously on the ground.
"I don't see your name on her contact list. The only person that is listed as an emergency contact is a Hunter Graham." The nurse looked back up at Emma apologetically.
"Sheriff Graham is her emergency contact?" Emma asked out loud, not really expecting an answer.
"I'm sorry I can't help you more." The nurse rose from her chair. "Is there anything else you need? I need to go check on a few patients."
"No, no. Thank you." Emma casually nodded and smiled in the nurses directions.
"Okay, well you know where to find me if you end up needing anything else." And with that she turned and headed out of site.
When Emma made it back to Henry's room, he was sprawled out just like he usually was at home. She could see the bandage over his left eye, and hoped the scar wouldn't be too terrible. I guess Graham was right, he would be able to use it to get the girls when he got older. Much older.
She set her coffee down on the table between her and Henry and sat back on her bed/couch. She wrapped the blankets around her shoulders and took a deep breath, filling up every inch of her lungs. Her head fell back on her shoulders and she tried to figure out how they had gotten to this point. One day everything was great and she had been looking forward to spending the summer with her family, and the next everything had come tumbling down and she was worried that she may not even have a complete family at the end of it all. She had nothing to keep her going. Nothing to help the aching pain in her heart as the puzzle pieces kept piling up but never fit into any complete shape. Her energy was depleted, her brain running on fumes, and yet so much needed to be done.
Emma didn't realize she had dozed off when she was woken by panicked voices from the hall. She rubbed her eyes and headed immediately for the door to see what was going on. The light from the window was still low and she figured it was early in the morning, signaling the third day she had been at the hospital. Henry was still knocked out and his head was buried under his pillow, sheltering his ears from the noise outside.
When Emma opened the door she jumped back as a blur of white sped by her. The blur rounded the next hallway and headed out of her site. One of the nurses at the station across from Henry's room was on the phone with someone. When she slammed the phone down she grabbed a stack of papers and practically sprinted around the corner following the first blur.
"What's going on?" Emma stopped the nurse she had seen early that night since she seemed the least frenzied person in the hall.
"Just an emergency down in ICU. Nothing for you to fret over. I'm sorry if we woke you." The nurse was short and immediately headed in the direction of the doctor and the first nurse. Emma went back into Henry's room and grabbed her jacket, setting off in the direction of the emergency, hoping to cure her curiosity.
The sign for the ICU wing was huge and red and hung over a set of large double swinging doors, similar to the ones to Henry's observation ward. She stopped in the hallway outside of the doors, jumping a little as a nurse came sprinting bursting through and sprinting away. Emma caught the sight of the hallway behind the doors as they swung, a familiar body standing in the sunlight pouring through the windows lining the halls.
She pushed through and halted as soon as she fully recognized him.
"Graham?" She caught the words. He looked over at her, his eyes widening at the sight of her and he immediately started in her direction.
"Emma what are you doing here?" He approached her and made an attempt to push her back the way she came.
"I could ask you the same thing?" His grip on her arms was tighter than she was comfortable with and could sense in his eyes that something was not right.
She looked past him at the doctors and nurses darting out of one of the rooms. "Whose room is that?" She asked strangely calm considering her heart was racing.
Graham was silent but his grip tightened as he tried to push her out of the hallway. She didn't need him to answer. Why would he be here without her knowledge if something wasn't wrong? Why would he be pushing her out of the hallway? Why was he looking at her like a child who had just lost a pet?
Emma felt her knees go weak and the tears well up.
"Is that her? Is she in there? I need to see her. What is going on? Did something happen? Graham answer me!" She managed through her increasingly staggering breaths not allowing him time to answer between her questions.
"No, no." Graham immediately reassured her. "They called me because they were having some complications with trying to bring down some swelling. No, everything is stable. I told them to call me if anything happened, even something minor." He stepped back a little, giving her some room in the hallway for her to regain herself.
"I need to see her." Emma wiped her face and trying to push past him. He blocked her way.
"They have to make sure she is completely stable. Once they are through then I'll see if I can get you in. But Emma I have to tell you something." He ran a hand through his hair, wishing this was not happening right now. He knew he was going to hate telling her the truth and had hoped the moment he told her would have been a better time. But there was no good time with these types of things.
"The doctor told me she has had a lot of brain trauma. They didn't want to tell anyone until they were for sure, but they have come to the decision that she may have some memory loss when she wakes up. They aren't for certain how bad. They were trying to wait until her brain swelling had gone down to give a more complete diagnosis." Graham forced himself to look at Emma who had avoided his eye contact.
"What do you mean memory loss?" She forced out, staring at him. Her eyes burning for answers.
"Uh…" He sighed. "They aren't completely sure yet…"
"Graham stop lying to me!" She half yelled. "I feel like that's all you have been doing since I got here. Why can't you just tell me?" Emma pleaded. She was tired of waiting. Tired of wondering. Tired of guessing. She was ready to know what the damage had been.
"The doctor said she has lost all of her long term memory. Everything up to whenever she wakes up will be gone."
Emma felt her lungs burning, her legs beating the floor underneath her. She ran harder than she ever thought she could, tears blurring and burning her eyes. The sunlight outside hit her like a ton of bricks and she immediately leaned over in the grass and hurled the little fluid that was in her stomach. She hadn't eaten much the last two days and so there wasn't much, but what was there she could not hold down. Her entire body hurt. Her heart, her muscles, her soul. They were all so tired of this. She just wanted to be done. She just wanted to take her son and Regina and go home like nothing ever happened. She wanted to forget everything.
But all at once, for the second time, it all came back as her body convulsed and sent the last of what was left in her stomach out into the grass.
"Emma!" Graham came panting out the doors finding her hunched over the grass. "Are you alright?" He stepped over to her his hand gently falling on her back.
"Don't touch me!" She pushed him away. "Just don't. I can't do this." She cried out. The lingering taste of the bile in her mouth made her all the more sick to her stomach. It was like her body was physically experiencing what her emotional spirit could no longer handle.
When Regina woke up she wouldn't even know who Emma was, let alone anything about herself. Graham attempted to comfort her with possibilities for rehab and how they have come up with studies for people with memory loss and how a spark of a memory could trigger a spiral and bring back everything. But of course Emma was not interested. All she could think of was the woman she loved with every part of her would not even know her own name. She would not remember Henry. She would not remember that she was the most important person in Emma's life. That's not something she was willing to accept. She was not ready for this. She could never be ready for this.