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Welcome Home

"Regina!" Emma's head jerked up as her nightmare ended and woke her from her sleep.

Regina raised an eyebrow toward the blonde and put down the book she had been attempting to read all night. For the past few days Regina had not been able to sleep and instead was reduced to lying in the dark listening to the blonde yelling out her name in her sleep. Belle brought her a stack of books that she thought she might like and so she figured instead of staring at the ceiling, she could at least occupy her mind with other stories.

Emma rubbed her eyes and squinted at the dim light coming from the lamp sitting on Regina's bedside table. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Emma asked sleepily lifting the thin blanket off her legs noticing Regina was still awake. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. The few hours of sleep she got every night was not enough to refill her energy levels and she could feel herself running on fumes.

"It's fine. I've been awake for a while." Regina answered, flipping over the book in her hands down on her lap. She took her glasses off and pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling the effects of not sleeping last night.

"What time is it?" The blonde stood up and stretched a little before heading to the sink and splashing cold water on her face hoping to shake of the nightmares of her sleepless night.

"It's a half past 6." Regina answered after checking the clock.

"Shit." Emma mumbled dabbing her face on the towel next to the sink. The room grew awkwardly quite as the two women were still learning how to be around one another again. Small talk was not Emma's strong suit and Regina had mixed feelings about the blonde. Obviously they knew each other before, but to Regina it was like first meeting her.

"Would you like a cup of coffee or anything?" Emma offered as she awkwardly stepped toward the door. She needed some air, and as much as she hated leaving Regina's side, even to get coffee, she was suffocating in there. She felt like she had no control of anything anymore.

"No, I'm fine but thank you." Regina fumbled with the edges of her book that sat in front of her.

When the door shut behind Emma, Regina sighed heavily in the dim light and leaned back onto her pillow. She couldn't seem to escape from anything. No amount of books or sleep or alone time or memory tests felt like it was easing her stress. Every night before she went to bed she prayed that maybe in the morning her memory would return and she would feel right again. But every sleepless night brought unanswered prayers and every morning brought more darkness.

When Emma returned Regina had fallen asleep so she opened up the blinds a little and watched as the new sun rose above the town. She sipped on her coffee and wrapped her coat around her arms. It was always so cold inside this hospital. Maybe it was just her. There was no warmth left in her life now that Regina's memories were gone.

Regina shifted under her sheets and opened her eyes to the sun sneaking in through the blinds.

"Oh, I'm sorry did I wake you up?" Emma quickly shut the blinds and awkwardly turned back to Regina. Like a child waiting to go into the principal's office she sat straight up with her hands wrapped around her coffee cup between her knees. She bit at the sides of her mouth forcing herself not to stare at the brunette as she fidgeted to find a more comfortable spot in her bed.

"Emma, can I ask you a question?" Regina started. She hadn't really thought this through yet and she wasn't quite sure what questions she wanted to ask first. Regina watched as the blondes attention slowly turned to her.

"Yeah, what's up?" Emma sounded a little concerned. She took another sip of her coffee and sat closer to the edge of her seat. Regina collected her thoughts before she spoke.

Regina cleared her throat and nervously looked down at the book in her lap and said the first thing that came to her mind. "Have you ever read this book before?" Emma raised an eyebrow at her knowing that was not the question she was intending to ask, but she played along anyway.

"What's it called?" Emma stepped over closer so she could see it. She knew Regina liked to read, and before the accident it was hard to find her not reading something throughout the day, so for Belle to bring her a book eased Emma a little bit. It made things a bit more normal.

"It's called Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult." Regina answered showing Emma the cover. Emma looked at it for a moment and then answered.

"No I've never read it. I'm usually not a reader unless it's something really old and about mythical creatures." Emma smiled awkwardly.

Regina let out a small laugh. "Well if you are ever feeling like stepping out of that box, I recommend it." Regina smiled up at her.

"Okay." Emma couldn't hold back her smile. Whether Regina remembered she loved her or not, Emma just could not shake the feeling that there was something there. Maybe she was just kidding herself, and searching through the darkness for something that would never come back, but there was still hope.

The silence fell over them again. Regina fought her own inner demons but as time ticked on she felt her strength depleting. She couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Do you dream about me often? I mean did this happen before the accident?" She blurted out softly.

Emma scrunched her eyebrows together. "What?" She asked.

"You say my name in your sleep." Regina continued. Her voice was low and rough.

"Oh." Emma looked down at her lap. "yeah that, I'm sorry if it bothers you." She tapped the side of her coffee cup nervously.

"No, that's not why I asked." Regina quickly reassured her. "I just hate that I might be the reason why you are not getting any sleep." Regina admitted. In the middle of the night when Emma would call out her name, she often felt terrible that she was haunting Emma's dreams. Even though she didn't know why, she was scared that if Emma had enough terrible dreams about her that she would eventually give up trying to help her.

"If it makes you feel any better I can tell you about my dream. I've actually been struggling with the meaning behind it so maybe you can help." Emma offered as she sat down on the edge of Regina's bed. Regina didn't answer but her motion to lay her book and her glasses on the table next to her was an answer enough for Emma to talk.

"Ever since you woke up, I have been having this reoccurring dream. It's the same one every time, and it starts with me waking up in this room. And I feel like I'm actually waking up but everything looks kind of different. The air is heavier, the light hits everything at a different angle and by the time I realize what's going on… I see you. But you're not in bed and you aren't hooked up to all these machines." Emma fidgets a little, turning her coffee cup in her hand. "You're dressed in the same clothes you left in the morning of the accident." Her voice cracked as the images flushed her mind. "And I look up at you and you're smiling." Emma mimicked the smile and looked up at Regina.

"And then you just say hello to me. And it's like for just a moment I want to believe it's really happening. I want to believe you are really there. But I can't believe it. And I'm scared." She felt her eyes begin to burn at the start of her tears. "And I think that maybe you have some kind of answer that I don't so I ask you to tell me what I need to do. And as you begin to disappear all I hear is you telling me to find you."

Emma looks up at the woman and sees a strange and confused face looking back at her. "Yeah I know, it's lame." Emma laughed a little. "But that's it. Then I wake up I guess with it all still lingering. Hence me calling your name." Emma got up and took a few steps away from the bed.

"I don't know what to say." Regina started. Emma stayed silent as she thought about it all.

"Well don't feel sorry for me by any means. I mean I'm probably just doing it to myself. I have a problem with worrying too much." Emma admitted.

"I wish you wouldn't worry." Regina started again. "I'm not worth all the worry. I mean I can't even remember my own name or my whole life up until this point. I feel like I'm just taking up space in the world. What good am I if I can't even remember anything." She leaned her head back on her pillow and closed her eyes.

"That's why I worry." Emma stared straight at Regina and when she opened her eyes Regina saw the intent in Emma's eyes. Regina's heart fluttered a little but she didn't know why. Whether she remembered the feelings she once supposedly had for Emma or not, she definitely felt something different around her. There was a connection but she couldn't tell what it really was.

"What do you mean?" Regina finally questioned.

"I worry because despite how much you don't remember, I do. I remember what kind of person you were… and still are. To me, you are the same woman I fell in love with. And it doesn't bother me that you can't remember, but that you feel like you don't have any worth because you can't remember. Because to me, I see an opportunity to fall in love with you all over again. And I don't know many people who get to do that." Emma sat down on the couch and pulled her arms around her chest. It felt weird to express herself like this. It made her feel so vulnerable, knowing that Regina wasn't sure of herself.

"Emma, I wish I could remember." Regina admitted.

"I know. But it's okay that you don't. I don't want to pressure you into feeling any way that you don't feel comfortable with. I'm here for my own selfishness. You were my life, and you still are. I'm sorry if all of this is coming across very crass but it's the truth. I just want to be there for you. That's what makes me happy."

Before Regina could say anything else a knock came from the door and Dr. Whale poked his head in.

"Good morning ladies. How did we sleep last night?" He smiled at them as he walked in and took Regina's chart from its folder at the end of Regina's bed. The two women looked at each other and then Regina answered for them.

"As well as we could." She admitted.

"Well I have some good news for you. After these past few days of observation I have decided that it's time for you to go home." He smiled as he wrote a few notes on her charts and then looked up at them. "We have arranged for you a wheelchair if you need it. I will have a nurse in here shortly to take your IV out and then as soon as you are ready you may leave."

"Thank you so much, Dr. Whale." Regina couldn't wipe the smile from her face, and neither could Emma. They had been waiting for days to hear that news and now it was finally happening. After five weeks in the hospital, it was time to go home.

"It's been a pleasure, Ms. Mills." He smiled and replaced the charts at the foot of the bed. Regina felt like she could jump for joy. And Emma was in shock. She almost convinced herself that they would never get to go home. But this was finally it. They were going to go home. Henry would get to come home. And they could try and find the life they had lost.

Despite some argument from Regina, Emma convinced her to use the wheelchair. At least until they got to the car, and then they could leave it behind. Regina didn't want to seem helpless and felt like she could make it to the car, but Emma insisted that she would have plenty of time to get her legs working again.

The June heat outside felt like a gift from heaven on their skin. Regina's skin had lost some of its color after spending over a month inside. And Emma could use a little sun herself. When they got to Emma's bug, Regina raised an eyebrow at the sight of the beat up yellow metal beast.

"Yeah I know. You don't have to say it." Emma smirked. "But it'll get us where we need to go." She helped Regina out of her wheelchair, Regina trying not to lean entirely on the woman, and eventually got situated in her seat. Emma reached for the seat belt but Regina stopped her.

"I can at least do that for myself." She smiled.

"Okay, right, I'm sorry. Watch your leg." Emma carefully shut the door and hustled over to her own side. She felt like her body was shaking from both excitement and nervousness. She was finally taking Regina home.

"Ready?" Emma asked as she started up the car.

"Ready as I'll ever be I guess." Regina smiled.

As the car lurched forward Regina held onto the door handle, gripping it tighter than she needed too. Everything outside of the hospital looked so warm and inviting, yet she couldn't recognize anything and instead her mind swirled at the blur of everything rushing by. Emma pointed out a few hotspots around town as they drove and Regina just listened like she was seeing it all for the first time.

"There is Granny's. When you feel up to it, I'm sure she would love to see you." Emma pointed out Regina's window and Regina smiled at the offer. Honestly she was a little frustrated that she couldn't remember any of these places seeing as she was kind of supposed to.

They pulled up in the driveway of their house and Regina couldn't help but be mesmerized by the two story pristinely kept white house that stood before them. The front porch jutted out with tall white columns on each side. The hedges where neatly tended to and the yeard had just been mowed. The smell of fresh cut grass overwhelmed her senses and she struggled to pull herself out of the car without losing her balance.

Seeing her struggle Emma ran around the car and held out a hand for Regina to lean on. She could tell Regina was trying hard not to feel like a burden and Emma thought it was kind of cute.

"The pictures do this place no justice." She held onto Emma's hand and lifted herself from the low riding seat.

"Yeah it's pretty amazing." Emma answered.

"How long have we lived here?" Regina asked as they stepped up on the porch.

"Well, Henry and I have only been here for a few months. But you've lived here for years." Emma happily answered. She was honestly oblivious to anything but this moment. Her mind was on the woman holding her hand. There was nothing else important right this moment except for getting Regina into the house. Once they had done that, Emma just knew things would get better. They stopped on the porch while Emma fiddled with her keys esxcitedly, almost dropping them clumsily. Regina stared at the door and then waited patiently for Emma to unlock the door.

"You ready?" Emma smiled finally clicking the key in the door. Regina half smiled. She tried to hide the worry. She wanted with all her might to remember all of this and she searched her brain for something that would spark her memory. But there was nothing. IT=t was like staring at a blank chalkboard.

Emma stuck her key in the door and turned the lock.

"SURPRISE!" The voices scared both women as the door squeaked open. A huge banner hung on the wall near the stairs with huge letters on it that spelled out "Welcome Home Regina!" and the party filled the entire entry way and the dining room. Emma couldn't shake the smile from her face as she saw almost everyone they knew from town. Ruby, Belle, Mary Margaret and David, Granny, Henry, and August. They were all there.

Emma's smile faded when she suddenly felt a warm sensation in her hand. She looked down to see Regina's clasping her fingers, her knuckles white with the pressure. She looked up at the brunette and saw that her face was completely petrified. She wandered if Regina even knew she had grabbed on to her hand. She couldn't tell what Regina was thinking and she felt torn as to how to react to all of this.

Before she could make a decision, August made his way through the crowd and approached the stunned women.

"August, what is this?" Emma asked as she hugged him with her one free arm. The other still caught in the brunette's grasp.

"Well I figured you guys needed something to come home to. But I shouldn't take all the credit." He leaned in closer and lowered his voice to a whisper. "It was Henry's idea. But don't tell him I told you." He pulled back and winked at her.

"How did you know she was going to get to come home today?" Emma looked at August confused. IT was only this morning that her and Regina found out. There was not enough time for them to put this together and Emma didn't tell anyone this was happening.

"I happened to run into Dr. Whale last night and he told me." August winked and pushed Emma and the brunette still clutching her hand closer to the crowd in the living room.

Emma smiled as Henry came running through the crowd and over to his mother. "Hey, kid!" Emma was able to retrieve her hand as she bent down and hugged him. "I can't leave you boys alone for one minute without you two getting into some kind for trouble can I?" She squeezed him tightly and then let him go, standing back up next to the brunette. Emma nervously glanced over at her and could see that Belle had approached Regina and gave her a small inviting hug. Emma had a pinch of worry well up inside of her. She wasn't sure if this was all good for Regina. She didn't remember most of these people and she only knew the majority of them by name or sketchy description by Henry.

"Were you surprised?" Henry smiled up at his mother.

"Totally surprised." Emma smiled back and kissed his forehead. He immediately took off into the living room, leaving August and Emma standing alone in the entryway with Regina close by still talking to Belle. From what it looked like, it seemed that Belle was trying to explain to Regina who everyone was. Regina seemed like she was hanging in there, but if Emma knew Regina, the brunette was not going to show her emotions outwardly. Especially not fear.

"There are drinks in the kitchen. Do you want one?" August asked her.

"You have no idea." Emma sighed. "Let me see if Regina is okay first." Emma thinly smiled.

"I'll get them started." August patted her on the shoulder and then headed into the kitchen, smiling and hugging a few people as he went.

Emma stepped over to Belle and Regina and apologetically interrupted. "Hey, how's it going over here?" Her hand impulsively found the curve of Regina's back as she stepped up to her. Belle smiled at the two of them and Emma grew slightly uncomfortable and pulled her hand back timidly from Regina.

"I was just pointing out a few faces for Regina. Sorry if I stole her away." Belle twirled her skirt childishly.

"No worries. I was just headed to the kitchen for something to drink would you guys like something?" Emma offered, motioning for the kitchen.

"I already had some earlier." Belle thanked her.

Emma looked to Regina, her eyes filled with uncertainty. "Would you like something?" Emma asked almost sadly.

"No, I'm fine, dear." Regina forced a smile.

"Alright. Are you sure?" Emma asked again, a little softer this time. Her heart pounded as her nerves slowly overtook her body. She felt like telling everyone to leave just so she would feel better but Henry and August spent their morning putting it all together that she would feel terrible shutting it down so early.

"I'm fine, really." Regina nodded pushing a stray hair behind her ear.

"Okay. Well I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." She smiled at both women, her glance lingering on Regina before she turned and headed into the kitchen.

Thankfully her and August were the only ones occupying the kitchen once the last couple people made their way into the living room to carry on their small talk with the bigger group. Emma sighed and leaned up against the center island, already almost completely exhausted from the surprise party she allowed her head to fall into her hands.

"I think she's taking this better than you are." August slid a half full glass of wine towards Emma and she sat her head up and twirled the glass in her hands.

Emma turned with her glass to look through the dining hall to where Regina was standing and talking with a few people around her. She took a sip of the liquid and let it burn down her throat.

"Yeah, well, she was always the stronger one." Emma admitted. This wine burned harder than most and she set the glass down on the island, her eyes never leaving the brunette.

"How are you doing with all of this?" He took a step up next to her and leaning to look out at the party with her.

"Oh you know. I haven't been home in over a month and now that I am… I don't know. I just wish things could go back to the way they were. But I don't think they will." She turned from her vision of Regina before the tears began to fall.

"How do you know that?" August questioned. Emma was a little taken by the question. She figured she didn't really know if it would never be the same, but she was just so focused on the now, which was so different, that it was tough for her to see anything else.

August continued in her silence. "Look, I'm not saying this will be easy or that I know that things will get back to normal. Nobody knows that. It could, or it couldn't. But this is a second chance. You are here, she is here, Henry is here, and it's like fate has given you an opportunity to do it all better than the last time. If you had the opportunity to do something better a second time, would you choose to keep the first? I wouldn't." He swallowed the rest of his drink and headed to the other side of the kitchen to pour some more.

"This isn't like a school project, August. There is no such thing as a do-over when you still remember how great it was to begin with. It's a second chance for her, not me." Emma complained, quickly swallowing the rest of her drink and sliding the glass over to August for more.

"Am I hearing a pity party from Emma Swan right now?" August raised an eyebrow up at her.

"No." Emma glared at him. "I'm just saying, it's easy to start over when you can't remember anything. She doesn't remember any of what we had."

"I don't think you give her enough credit." August stated.

"It's not her, it's what the doctors said. She didn't know who I was. She didn't remember her own name. She doesn't remember any of those people in there. I can't even imagine what that feels like. If she can't remember that then how is she going to remember feelings, or moments, or anything like that." Emma's tone sounded like exhaustion. Her head held up only by her hands as she stared down into the dark liquid in her glass.

"I stand by what I said. You don't give her enough credit."

"What do you even mean?" Emma shot back, dropping her hands on the counter in frustration.

He stood up from his lean on the counter and leaned in close to her, to make sure she was the only one that heard what he was going to say. "I mean, I'm not the only one who noticed her reaction when you two walked in." August grinned and then headed into the dining room before Emma could protest. The only way to describe the look on her face was a mixture of horror, and fear, and frustration, and realization. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Did he mean when she grabbed a hold of her hand. She was just scared, she needed something to grab. It didn't mean anything. Did it?

Emma felt confusion wash over her as her thoughts went on the fritz suddenly trying to decipher what happened. She stared at her glass for answers but it only taunted her to drink it all plus what was left in the bottle on the other side of the kitchen. She glanced back in the room to see who Regina was talking to now. When she didn't see her, she felt a little mini panic feeling in her chest. She walked out of the kitchen into the living room, thinking maybe she had gotten too tired to stand and needed to sit. But Henry was the only one on the couch watching TV and there were only a few people in there standing around. She moved past a few guests into the foyer but she wasn't there either. For a moment she lost her train of thought and her panic grew.

"Belle!" Emma found the woman talking with Mary Margaret and caught her attention. "Have you seen Regina?"

"Yeah, she said she was feeling a little down so she went upstairs." Belle's worried look made Emma cringe. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I just needed to tell her something." Emma's voice trailed off as she turned toward the stairs. She stood at the bottom for a minute before proceeding up. She wasn't sure what Regina was feeling or whether she should interfere. Maybe she was tired and needed a nap, and in that case Emma hoped not to disturb her. But she needed to make sure she was okay to curb this panic that was still ever-present in her chest.

The voices downstairs where muffled as Emma made her way down the hallway toward their bedroom. She could see the light on inside and the door cracked open a little so she figured that would be a good place to start.

The blonde knocked gently on the door. "Regina?" She said softly. She heard a rustling sound as she pushed the door open and found the brunette sitting properly on Emma's side of the bed.

"Hey." Emma smiled closing the door behind her as she walked in. She took a few steps closer but hesitated to get extremely close. She still wasn't sure how comfortable Regina was with her on the outside world.

"Hey." Regina mimicked.

"Are you okay? Belle said you were feeling bad. I just wanted to check on you." Emma crossed her arms in front of her chest nervously

"No, I'm sorry I just needed a break from the party. I figured I'd give myself the royal tour of my own house." She tried to joke but Emma didn't really laugh. She could tell this was hard on the brunette.

"Sorry, that was on my to-do list before all of that." Emma motioned downstairs and then sat down on the bed about a foot away from Regina.

"It's not your fault. You didn't know. It is a lovely party though. Make sure you tell August thank you for me." She smiled.

"Well the word is it was actually Henry's idea. I guessed he missed you so much that he wanted to make this all special you know." Emma squeezed her hands together until they turned white. She had no idea why she was so nervous. She felt like she was talking to her high school crush that had no idea she even existed.

"I'm sure he missed you too." Regina added.

"Aw, I've had him for 12 years. He's only had you for a couple. Besides I knew he always favored you." Emma laughed a little and it made her feel a little more comfortable when Regina laughed too.

The two grew very silent as they allowed each other's presence in the room. Neither really knew what to say to the other. It was like a Mexican standoff with words. Finally Emma decided to speak up.

"I, uh, I guess I should make sure everyone is okay downstairs. Would you like to come back down with me?" She raised herself from the bed and waited for Regina to answer.

"I'm a little tired. I think I might take a nap. Please don't let me spoil your party." Regina stood from the and fingered the edges of her shirt awkwardly.

"You could never spoil my party." Emma smiled. "I'll be downstairs if you need me for anything." Emma headed for the door.

"Thank you. I mean for… everything. I don't think I've actually told you that. For the hospital and checking on me and all of that. I didn't know how tough this was going to be and you've eased some of my worries. So uh.. Thank you." Regina stuttered over her words and they hit Emma like a ton of bricks.

Emma nodded and smiled thinly forcing her tears not to fall. She felt like she hadn't been much of a help at all. But if she was being truly honest with herself, all those weeks of sleepless nights and uncertainty were worth it just to hear those words from Regina. "You're Welcome." She stepped through the door quickly before she started crying. When she was out in the hall she stopped and leaned up against the wall and allowed the tears to fall silently. Quickly she wiped them from her cheeks. She didn't want to go back to the party looking like she had just been crying. People would surely ask questions and she didn't want to upset Henry. She wiped under her eyes and checked her face in a mirror near the stairs before heading back down. She felt bad for leaving Regina alone, but she knew that sometimes a person just needs to be left alone for a while to figure things out.

"Mom! There you are! Where's Regina?" Henry ran up to her as she took the last few steps down the stairs.

"She needs to rest for a little while, kid. She's had a long morning." Emma patted him on the back.

"Aw, but we are cutting the cake." He said disappointingly.

"Then we'll just make sure and save her a piece for when she is feeling better." She promised him.

"Okay!" He pepped up and ran into the dining room where everyone had gathered around the table. She caught August stare and the nod of his head for her to come and stand by him. When she got there he put an arm around her shoulder.

"Before we cut into that gloriously decorated cake thanks to Henry, I would like to purpose a toast." He raised his glass up in the air and the party followed. "I want to toast to all of you for being so generous with your time in coming."

"Here." They spoke in unison.

"And I would also like to toast to my sister and her family. That even through all of this, they will find happiness and comfort in knowing that they are together again. Born again, if you will, and gifted a second chance at having everything they could ever want."

"Cheers!" The crowd's glasses clanked around the room and they all drank to the toast. Emma could feel August's arm tighten around her shoulder as he drank. She didn't know what to say. She looked up at him, the scruff on his chin as prickly as it ever was, and his Adams apple bobbing as he swallowed his drink. When he finished he looked down at her.

"What?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Thank you." That was all she could manage.

"Yeah, well, it's the least I could do." He kissed her on the forehead and then proceeded to the other side of the room.

"Alright, who wants a piece of cake?" His voice boomed over the crowd.

The crowd around Emma migrated closer in the dining room and the kitchen as they ate and she was left standing in the foyer. She looked towards the stairs almost wishing Regina would emerge and then maybe she wouldn't feel so terrible being down there. She felt like she was somehow betraying Regina by being happy down with all of their friends. She didn't want Regina to feel alone, or unwanted, because that was the last thing she really was. Emma wanted to be there for her and she hated leaving her. That's why she spent a whole month sleeping on what felt like a park bench waiting for her to wake up. It was easy to stay with her there because Regina couldn't get up and leave. But now she could. And that frightened Emma more than anything. Regina could do whatever she wanted, she was free, she was an adult, she could make her own decisions. Emma worried that the second time around, she may not choose Emma.