We were in a fine mood right up to the point that I had to actually get in the water. Turns out the important part of the phrase 'crisp, cool spring water' is the 'cool' part. Deciding to be bold, I had jumped straight into the stream bisecting the room we were in. Within five seconds, I was sitting on the stone next to Zelda, frantically trying to get as much water out of my clothes as possible, cussing up a storm.
"Damnitstupidfuckcoldshitwaterfuckingidiot…would you stop laughing and help warm me up?" I spat with no small amount of vitriol. Zelda didn't stop laughing but did manage to hold out the end of her scepter and radiate heat towards me, quickly warming, if not completely drying, my clothes.
"Thank you," I grumbled, waiting for Zelda's giggles to subside. I could tell she was trying to say something, but between her laughter and my own unwillingness to listen, I completely missed what she was going to say. "You know, I doubt you would find it so funny if you were the one getting a surprise ice bath."
"No, probably not," she said, finally able to speak clearly. "You were just so confident. Jumped right in and immediately started thrashing like something bit your leg." She tried to hold her giggling back, but I could see that her mirth was buried just under the surface. Clearly, she didn't understand the depth of my pain.
"Well, maybe we should find out for sure," I said, slowly stepping towards her, making her step back in surprise and just a hint of fear.
"You wouldn't," she said, not sounding particularly confident in the statement. "Besides, you wouldn't do that to a girl, would you?" I was slowly but steadily backing her into a corner between the wall and the underground river.
"I yearn for true gender equality, Zelda. I have no patience for one who talks about female privilege when it suits them, and then complains about someone 'not being a man' when it's convenient." She gave me a confused look as I finally got right up in her face. "It means, someone else is going in the drink." I immediately grabbed her to throw her in the water.
Well, tried to. One quick burst of light after I grabbed her shoulder, I was lying against the wall, trying to blink the spots out of my eyes. Dizzy and disoriented, the blurs in my vision slowly resolved into a rather unsympathetic looking Zelda.
"Fucking ow," I grunted, pushing myself back to my feet.
"I'm not apologizing," Zelda said, arms crossed and with a steely look in her eyes.
Grumbling quietly, I scooped my sword up off the ground and immediately noticed that it had somehow gone from being room temperature to feeling like it had just come out of a glacier. Just looking at it, I could see cold vapor hugging the blade.
"What in Hyrule is that?" Zelda exclaimed, rushing over and just barely restraining herself from touching the ultra-cold metal. Her focus changed almost immediately to something dripping from the ceiling. She slipped a small stick she had found somewhere under the drip, only for it to freeze and break apart as soon as the liquid made contact. "Some kind of super cold liquid? Liquid oxygen? Carbon dioxide? Does it not affect metal? No, that doesn't make sense…"
As Zelda mumbled away, I was experimenting with the cold layer on my sword. It did seem to be a layer, coming very, very close to the blade but not actually contacting it. I moved it close to a puddle and watched it freeze over before my eyes. I swung the Master Sword a little faster, but the water froze all the same. Flicking the blade along the floor, I saw the cold aura lessen and disappear from around the sword. At the same time, a small patch of ice on the opposite wall caught my attention. An idea came to mind.
"…if its natural? How is it forming? This mountain peak isn't high enough to be that cold though. What kind of liquid is this?!" Zelda exclaimed as I turned back to her. Putting my hand on her shoulder and nudging her away, I held the Master Sword under the freezing leak, letting the drops plink against the faintly glowing metal, the cold aura immediately reappearing.
"Zelda, in these situations, there's one very important factor you haven't considered." I could see the gears of her mind spinning frantically as she reanalyzed everything she had been considering with a cute look of concentration on her face.
"No, there's definitely nothing I missed. It can't be an ancient reservoir, the flow is too steady and someone would have noticed, no spring is that cold, it would freeze over, liquid oxygen and other super cold fluids don't occur naturally-"
"That's your problem," I interrupted. Zelda looked at me with utter confusion as I took a step back towards the flowing river bisecting the room. Hefting my sword, I focused on the same energy in the Master Sword I had used just a few minutes ago. Swinging the legendary blade vertically, I pushed the frigid power surrounding the blade out in the direction of the swing. An arc of icy energy sailed across the wide stream, instantly freezing the water beneath it and forming a makeshift bridge. Zelda blinked repeatedly, as if she couldn't believe what she had just witnessed. "Handy little thing, don't you think; magic."
"That's annoyingly convenient," she said, poking at the icy path with her foot to ensure it wouldn't crumble underneath her.
"I've found magic usually is," I said as I sauntered past, Master Sword slung over my shoulder.
My cocky attitude lasted until I stepped foot on the ice and gravity reminded me that, for how awesome my heroing outfit was, the boots did not have ice grips on the bottom. At least I managed to avoid falling back in the water.
A day and a half later, Zelda and I staggered up to the final door of the dungeon. Well, I staggered. Zelda sort of fell onto her back and slid the remaining four feet to the base of the door on the ice coating the ground. I was tempted to do the same, but I knew if I collapsed now, I wouldn't want to stand back up, regardless of how cold and rocky the ground was.
Thirty-four and a half hours.
A good amount of time by anyone's estimations, but when you're wandering around an underground, icy, wet labyrinth full of creepy, jumping waterbugs and spindly creatures made of ice, desperately trying to solve a single massive puzzle, it's even worse. Zelda and I hardly had any time to rest, and even when we did, the constant cold made it far from refreshing. The constant humidity and icy air wicked warmth away from us until we were nothing but exhausted, freezing, and miserable.
It was only due to trial, error, and a bit of luck that we managed to figure out how to freeze a massive tower into existence in the center of the dungeon and then keep it frozen long enough for us to get to the top and end up in the first warm-ish room we had found since we ventured into the mountain.
"Ugh…..you're going to hate me, but I could really go for a bit of Death Mountain's heat," I groaned.
"I would, and I'd totally hit you for it," I heard her say from somewhere to my left. "But I can't feel my left hand and all I can think is that I bet a volcano's caldera is better than this."
"Well, look at it this way. If the final challenge of this place is anything like the last one, all you'll have to do is sit back and watch as I inevitably get my ass kicked." Zelda shuffled to her feet and I heard her footsteps move towards where I was leaning against the door.
"Link, you know I love you," she said slowly. "But I am more than game for that right now." Zelda gave a sharp tug on the massive door, causing it to slowly start sliding open.
"Your bravery is inspiring." I reluctantly followed after Zelda encouraged by the warmer air leaking out of the doorway. Unsurprisingly, we found ourselves in a large circular room with no apparent exit.
"Welcome, seeker who would hold the Triforce of Wisdom. You stand before the final challenge. Your companion will be-"
"Yep, doesn't seek the Triforce, will be excluded, we know," I interrupted the disembodied voice, wanting to get out of the damn mountain as soon as we could.
"Very well," the voice said, sounding slightly irritated at being interrupted before the hint of inflection disappeared. "Wisdom is the most elusive of the gifts of the Triforce. Wisdom is restraint, holding yourself back from that which you desire to do. It is the foresight to create a plan and hear the words of others. Wisdom is mastering yourself in the face of all hardship. It is control, perseverance, and caution. Prove yourself as one who does not merely charge into challenge but understands it and overcomes it."
Just like it did in the depths of Death Mountain, a golden cage appeared around where Zelda was sitting against the wall, who merely waved at me in encouragement. "Easy for her to say when she's not the one fighting the monster," I mumbled, turning back to face the center of the room. The was no monster though. Instead, a giant of a man stood with his back to me in long robes delicately patterned with symbols. From what I could see of him, he was the very definition of barrel-chested. Wide shoulders, thick chest, and an overall body shape that gave the impression of a slightly rounded square. Hints of short-cut red hair poked out from above his high collar.
"Does the wind still blow in this unchanging land? I may be but an echo, but I still remember what this place used to be. And now I guard the very thing I sought for so long." Wary in the extreme, I silently drew the Master Sword and took a slow step towards the man. No other challenge had been like this, nothing else had displayed sentience. I took another cautious step and the man shifted, light glinting off twin swords I hadn't noticed in his hands until then. "Wisdom. I searched for it for so long, only to have it snatched from me at the last moment. Perhaps that was my true folly." The giant of a man paused, looking up at the ceiling of the room. "But that is not why you are here. You are here to prove yourself of the prize I failed to win." He gripped the swords tighter, light glinting off their sharpened edges. "Well then," he said, finally turning. "Let's see if your wisdom is greater than mine." A maniacal grin on his face that bore a striking resemblance to the man who had recently chased us out of Kakariko.
Our swords clashed as we both closed the distance between us. From the first strike, I knew it would be a fight unlike the others I had fought. Those had always been against creatures that fought with anger and rage. Instinct. This was different, more akin to the sparing I had done against Sheik during my training. We clashed, trading a flurry of blows before separating and circling each other, watching for the barest hint of weakness.
The fight went on for minutes on end, alternating between steady circling and frantic clashes. Each time we collided, one of us would come away with another scratch or bruise. I lost count of how many hits I took quickly, but it was definitely the majority. The giant man began favoring his left arm after a drew a viscous slice along the bicep of his right. A few minutes later, I took a crushing blow from the flat of his sword to my left leg when I failed to duck away quickly enough. It was a fight of attrition; one I would lose if I didn't change my tactics.
In a moment of inspiration, I reached for the pulsing power of Courage, hoping to summon up the extreme speed and strength I had felt on Death Mountain. I felt the Triforce respond, but it was sluggish and muted, and all I gained for my efforts was another slice from my opponent that I barely managed to avoid.
"Courage will not help you here," the man said, pressing his attacks, which I barely managed to parry. "I am not here to test you daring! Show me your intelligence, not your belligerence!" he cried, pushing me back even further. I tried pushing back, but couldn't find anything close to an opening to take advantage of. It was everything I could do to keep avoiding and parrying strikes while trying not to lose more ground. I deflected a harsh blow with my shield and realized I was running out of room as the man backed me towards the wall.
Suddenly struck by inspiration, I deliberately backed further towards the wall, trying to make it look like I was being forced in that direction. Careful not to make my ploy obvious, I lured the beast of a man further and further towards the wall. It wasn't really that hard; I was on the defensive in every sense of the word. Finally spying an opportunity, I baited my opponent. Blocking a swipe from one sword, I left my legs exposed and immediately backed away from the ensuing slash to them. Doing my best to make it appear that I was off guard, I let my shield stray away from my center. Just as I hoped, the man followed up with a sharp thrust at my abdomen.
Twisting myself as best I could, I curved away from the blade as it slid along the chainmail I had under my tunic before the sword embedded itself in the wall. A flicker of surprise on my enemy's face was all I needed to get in under his guard and leave a burning slash along his inner arm. Momentarily crippled from the pain and loss of control of his arm, I pushed the large man back with a sharp jab from my shoulder before pressing my attack.
Despite the man being down an arm and sword, he was still surprisingly capable, not to mention fast. However, he was still at a sever disadvantage to my sword-shield combo. It wasn't more than a minute before gaps in his defense appeared that I easily took advantage of. Ducking under a strong slice, I rolled around my enemy, cutting at his hamstrings. Coming back up around his other side, I threw my shield up to deflect another attack and thrust the Master Sword into his chest.
We froze, our back and forth at an end. The wound was clearly mortal and the man grinned wryly. "Clever boy," he grunted, his edges starting to flake off into golden motes. "Then again, you always were. I look forward to seeing if you can really end this. Maybe the old man had a point. End the cycle." His last words came out in a whisper as he finished dissolving.
The motes of golden light swirled around the room, casting flickering lights on the rough carvings on the wall and the trio of triangles embedded in the middle of the room. Gradually the points of soft luminance gathered together, sticking to each other as they formed a tighter and tighter form. One bright flash later, a familiar looking glittering triangle floated in front of me. Remembering what happened last time, I gently pressed my hand to the glowing surface.
There was a moment of the same soul probing energy I had felt when I claimed the Triforce of Courage before the light faded from the room and the golden barrier surrounding Zelda flickered out. A few uncomfortable moments of my skin knitting itself back together later, I was back on my feet and as good as ever. Two triangles sat side by side on my hand, twinkling with hidden brilliance. Zelda walked up to me and took my hand in hers, examining the twin shapes on it before letting it fall into hers and rest at our sides.
"I think its about time to get out of this mountain and see some sunlight again," she said.
"That's the best thing you've said all week," I agreed, eager to be out of the oppressive darkness and cold. "I think we'd better find somewhere to rest. I can't help but feel that even with this burst of energy, I'm going to fall over really soon."
As usual, getting out of the dungeon was the easy part. One quick slide down a massive ice pillar and we only had the long walk out of the cave until we were out in the open air again.
"Huh," I said, looking around and then down at my phone. "I guess we're so tired because it's the middle of the night."
"Very astute," Zelda said, walking along the edge of the small pond outside the cave.
"Where are you going?" I asked, watching her walk away. Well, more specifically watching how her hips moved when she walked away.
I plead exhaustion.
"I'm going to high ground so I can maybe get a moment of dry, or even not soaking wet rest." She glanced over her shoulder at me, eyes narrowing slightly. "You're welcome to join me. If you're quite finished ogling me, that is."
I abashedly averted my eyes. "Sorry," I managed to mumble out.
Again, I plead exhaustion.
It only took about fifteen minutes of walking for us to get out of the hollow we were in and to rather dry ground. I was only too happy to pull two sleeping bags out of my infinite pouch and lay them down on the hillside. We settled down in them under the glittering stars when two things happened.
Four small explosions of dirt erupted from the hillside a short distance away, skeletal fingers clawing at the now loose dirt. A trio of small skeletons crawled out and pieced themselves back together, one of them brandishing another's arm as it wiggled about, grasping for its owner. The fourth skeleton was larger and appeared more lizard-like. They all looked around in a jerky fashion, at which point both my and Zelda's phones must have connected to the cell network again as they came alive, blaring their sounds into the quiet night.
All four of the monsters swiveled to face us before beginning to charge us. Zelda was the quick of us to react, blasting a beam of light from her hand that missed the agile lizard skeleton only to vaporize two of the smaller ones standing behind it. The nimble monster ran in a zig-zag pattern towards us, only to meet the divine steel of the Master Sword. It crumbled to pieces, the head thrashing around before I chopped it in half. Zelda was quick to freeze the feet of the last monster in place just in time for me to decapitate it and chop the flying skull in half in mid-air.
"I thought Stal monsters hadn't been seen in hundreds of years," Zelda said, sitting back down on her sleeping bag. I slammed the Master Sword back into its sheath, dropping it and myself back onto my own bedding, snatching my phone up at the same time.
"Looks like you might need to reevaluate that statement," I said absent mindedly, quickly flicking between different pages on my screen. "'Citizens are advised to stay in their homes as reports of monster sightings continue to come into local police. The castle has still not issued a statement as to the possible cause of the sudden appearance of many creatures long thought to be extinct. We will be keeping you updated with any further developments…monsters seen to form crude weapons…stay inside…call police…'" I read out as I glanced through an article and others like it. "Text from Hunter asking where we are, text from Shade asking where we are, text from Hunter asking where the hell we are, text from Sheik asking where the fuck we are…and response from Hunter says…" I looked through the response quickly and my face fell even further.
"What is it?" Zelda asked, looking down at my phone from above. My exhaustion addled mind managed to keep my eyes to my phone and not down her shirt.
"Ganondorf reappeared at the castle, delivering Ruin's ultimatum. Not that it's much of one. He's going to destroy the world. The monsters are just the start of him gathering his power." I looked up at her from beneath my eyebrows. "We need to get to the last piece of the Triforce now. We're out of time."
Dun dun dun...ooo, spooky. Sure is going to be exciting. If I can ever manage to get it written.
Hello everyone, it is I, Aro. The named nameless phantom. The ever elusive. The idiot who can't find time to write a story that he promised to finish. And I will, damn it. It might just take a little. Doesn't help that, school, work, and just a few other things have kept me busy for the past...five...months...heh, sorry 'bout that. Not even worth it if you ask me, maybe it's just because I have to write this chapter, but damn if I don't hate this chapter. What I was really dreading was having to write another damn dungeon. You guys might like them, but I absolutely do not. If anyone asks me to be a video game level designer, I am turning them down, straight up. I am not cut out for such things. Thus, I apologize to everyone who was looking forward to another one, but I just can't. Unique layout, gimmick, items, enemies...I'm just not up for it. I'm at the point where I just need to get to the end of this. Because that's the part that I've had planned out for actual years at this point. I'm almost there. Bear with me.
Let's do some reviews then. Twilit Lord for the first time (you keep managing to find ways to review twice, very sneaky), yeah yeah, Ganondorf is boring, too bad, don't care. He's riding a Harley Bolson... *frantic googling* ...yes. Definitely. Water Temple, sure, let's go with that. I mean, there was water and a temple, you just didn't see any of it. You're welcome. I know how italics work, its just how I like to format these notes that makes it weird. Oracle, glad you liked it! I always love the weird ways to beat bosses in Zelda games. Couldn't help but throw in a cheeky reference. Glad you got the right image of the chase too. I always worry I'm not describing things well enough, so hearing that makes me happy. As far as making a good anime, I leave that up to you. Alfred, it is not abandoned and never shall be. Thanks for reading. Nightwing, ooo, that's a cool image too. I like it. Silverblood, I don't know what you're talking about, Zelda said how it works. Makes sense to me. Ganondorf is indeed back and he is kind of like you describe. I'm thinking he looks like the re-hydrated Ganondorf pictures, but more Twilight Princess Ganondorf's figure. I just can't have him be massive, he's still a young man. Think what a young Ganondorf might look like and you're probably close. As for defeating him...wait and see. And thank you, I did and will continue to do so. Guest, no, I cannot. Princessa, thank you, thank you, please send all flowers to my publisher. Really glad you like it, and I'm happy to hear that Link and Zelda are coming across like I want them to. That's always the biggest worry, that I'm not staying in character. I'm glad someone reads these damn notes too, I put enough work into them. LvH (your name has no good abbreviation), glad you were able to catch up, fluff shall continue apace! Thomas, I have and will endeavor to continue to do so. Twilit again, cool stuff!
A'ight that's done, and hopefully the next chapter won't take another five months to come out. It shouldn't, since I actually want to write the next portion and should have some time to do so with the break from school. But you know what's really important. The Witcher. Damn good show, its everything I wanted Game of Thrones to be. More fantasy, less politics, absolutely fantastic, especially if you've played the games or read the books. Would recommend, as long as you're of a mature age. Anyways, time to get a move on. Stuff to do and all that. Thanks again for reading and sticking with this mess of a story. Next chapter soon, hopefully. Be sure to review if you want it faster. Or if you don't. Not sure why that'd be the case, but that's the way it be sometimes. Anyways, cheers all and see you next time (metaphorically).
~Aro