Valentine

Note: Completely disregards s3 canon. Let's pretend the god squad doesn't include Quinn this time around. Written at 5am (hush it's still valentine's day most of the world) so don't me if it's terrible.

x.X.x

Quinn slams her locker door shut with a sigh, and she ignores how it's practically overfilled with valentine cards and gifts like every year.

Trying her damn best to keep her grumbling to a low volume, she lets out a grunt, and not for the first time, she wonders why her life is the way it is.

It's Valentine's Day, and she fucking hates it.

She hates how it's almost expected of her to have a piece of arm candy by her side, hates how it makes her feel like she's nothing without some idiot jock hanging off of her, hates how the day is like a free pass for everyone to make snide, crude comments about her.

Casting a glance to her side, she sees Finn and Rachel talking, the boy wearing his signature half-smile, and she feels her mood sully even more.

Fucking Valentine's Day, and stupid Finchel and their stupid PDA everywhere.

She overhears (more like eavesdrops) Finn asking Rachel out for a date, and she rolls her eyes – haven't they crashed and burned a million times before already?

A bile building up in the back of her throat, she tightens her grip on her books, and she stomps down on how her chest seems to be stoned down with a heaviness, marching off to class resolutely.

She'd made a truce with Rachel a month ago, and they're actually…friends now, but seeing Finn and Rachel together sends a dark pang to her heart, and she tries to ignore why exactly that is.

She's always been a terrific liar, so it makes sense for her to lie to herself just a little bit more.

x.X.x

She spends the rest of the day in a foul mood, snapping at anyone who dare walks near her, and by the time lunch rolls around, she's probably scared half a dozen freshmen to death.

Even Sylvester gives her a hum of approval when she storms down the hall with the mood of the decade, glaring at everyone in her war path, and she practically slams her lunch tray down onto the cafeteria table.

From where Santana is wrapped around Brittany, she lets out a snort. "Geez, what's got your panties in a twist Q-ball?"

"Don't call me that," she bristles, stabbing her fork into her food with a vengeance.

"I see someone is especially crabby today," Santana mutters, used to her off days already. "It's our senior year Q, live a little yeah? You're single and hot, enjoy it."

In response, Quinn just grips her fork even tighter, so much so that she's pretty sure the plastic is cracking under the pressure, and out of the corner of her eye, she sees Brittany whisper something into Santana's ear, causing her girlfriend to giggle.

A contemplative look crosses the Latina's face. "Say Quinn, where's the hobbit? She's always following you around like a lovesick puppy these days anyway."

At the mention of Rachel, Quinn feels a sour taste in her mouth, and she bites down on the inside of her cheek. "I don't know, probably somewhere with Finn."

She spits the last word out bitterly, and Brittany furrows her brow. "You look sad-angry when you're sulking," she notes.

"I'm not," Quinn denies fervently, and Santana laughs.

"Oh god, I can't believe the stick up your ass is because of Berry," the brunette cackles. "Tubbers, I had you pinned for one of those divorce your man in early thirties to go off and be your best lesbian self types, but if you-"

"Wait wait, what?" Quinn cuts in immediately.

Santana makes a show of rolling her eyes, but she must hear the panic in her voice, because her next words are spoken in a much gentler tone. "Listen Q," she starts, "you're going to be fine, I promise. You could do a lot worse than the midget anyways."

Quinn doesn't have much time to process the words before she notices Rachel walking over to their table with an expression that's almost nervous, and she feels her fight or flight responses kick in.

She feels her muscles turn rigid as her form tenses, but she can't quite resist the fluttering of her heart that seems almost too much like hope, and she curses herself for it.

Rachel looks as if she's about to say something, but then the God Squad is serenading her, and Quinn is rushing away with her eyes stinging.

She's always hated Valentine's Day.

x.X.x

Throughout the day, Santana and Brittany make some half-hearted attempts to get her out of her mood, but it's clear they're too busy being in love too really try much, and Quinn can't fault them for it.

Rachel tries to talk to her a few times between classes, but every time she sees the brunette, the looming shadow of Finn seems not too far away, and she can't stand the possibility of her heart being crushed to pieces once again.

It's a miserable and pathetic way of spending her Valentine's Day, but she can't find it in herself to care much.

Each jock she has to turn down only has her feeling even worse, because she doesn't want any of them, doesn't want any boy.

She just wants- She just wants Rachel, and she can't stop lying to herself about it anymore.

God-fucking-dammit.

x.X.x

It's at the end of the day when Rachel catches her at the lockers, and she's just so very tired.

"What do you want Berry?" Quinn sighs, all caught up in her gloom and misery.

"I've been wanting to talk to you for the entire day, but it seems like you've been always busy." If Rachel's slight pout makes Quinn want to break out into a smile, she tries her damn hard to resist it.

She shrugs. "I thought you have somewhere to be with Finn."

The way she says the words is resigned now, and Rachel furrows her brow. "What do you mean?"

"Gee I don't know, you tell me," Quinn mutters, her tone barbed, and Rachel seems taken aback, her face falling.

Her look is almost…hurt, and Quinn feels her heart turn with guilt. "I'm sorry," she apologizes quickly, "I'm just- I- I'm having a bad day, I guess."

"Well you and me both," Rachel sighs, though it's clear the words ease her somewhat. "I've been trying to tell Finn that it is in our best interest to not get back together the entire day, but you know- he always wants what he can't have."

It takes a moment for it to sink in, and then- "Wait, what?"

Rachel looks at her strangely, and Quinn's stomach drops, feeling like the worst asshole on the planet. "I thought you wanted to get back together with him," she offers feebly.

Rachel's face turns with something that resembles a grimace. "It's occurred to me that we don't work as romantic partners," she says, before her face softens. "That's um, why I wanted to talk to you today."

Her face tilts into that same expression from earlier, the one that's shy and bashful and way too damn cute for her own good, and Quinn bites her lip, unsure what to make of it all.

"See, I know we've been…friends for a while now," Rachel continues, voice in that tone that tells Quinn she's about to go on a ramble, "and it's actually still so weird I can just text Quinn Fabray and tell her about my day without being threatened with death and the burning of my Barbra Streisand collection, and really I still have no idea how you put up with me at all, seeing that-"

"Rachel," Quinn interrupts, heart beating a storm in her chest now – this is starting to sound like something it really shouldn't be and Quinn can't afford to be thinking about anything of the sort right now – and Rachel clamps her mouth shut, cheeks flushing in an adorable pink.

"Quinn, I guess- I guess what I'm trying to say here is…" Rachel darts her eyes down, a nervous energy to her body movements that's way too cute for Quinn's sanity. "I like you."

The words seem to cut right through Quinn's haze, and she barely hears Rachel's spiel about how 'like is more than just like, but rather like like, like how the movies phrase it' and how it had gone a lot more smoothly and romantic in her brain.

Rachel, the poor girl, seems like she's close to passing out with how fast she's rambling, and Quinn really should do something about that, but she's suppressing a breakdown of her own at the moment – is this really happening? Actually, how the fuck is this happening?

A million thoughts seem to rush through her mind at the same time, forcing her into overdrive, but then she forces herself together for this one moment – she's been fucking pathetic the entire day anyway – and says the first thing that comes to heart.

"Go out with me."

She colors immediately; in Rachel's words, that sure went a lot more smoothly in her head.

"What I mean is," she hastily moves to say, refusing to make a fool out of herself more than she already has, "there's a restaurant on the outskirts of town, and most people don't know that it exists probably. They- They have vegan options, and we can probably score a good table if we go now." She flashes a hesitant smile at Rachel, who seems to be going through a slight panic attack of her own.

"So uh, do you want to?"

There's a beat of silence, and then Rachel's face is morphing into a mega-watt smile that's very much contagious. "I'd- I'd love to," she says, voice in a murmur that's delighted and bashful at all once.

They both know there's a lot more that needs to be said, but for now, Quinn allows herself to return a smile just as bright, and for once in her life she pushes all of her raging thoughts aside and lets her heart do the talking.

She reaches out her arm, which Rachel gladly takes. "Shall we?"

"We shall," Rachel laughs, a subdued but happy little sound that makes everything so much better, and Quinn can't stop the way her heart does a little dance in her chest.

Okay, so maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad after all.

At the very least, she's scored herself a date with Rachel Barbra Berry, and that's damn worth celebrating.