This chapter is not new, but it has been updated to help clear up the story a bit. The last time I wrote it, it had been a while since I had visited this story and the info was a bit muddy. Hoping that I was able to clear some of that up.
What Goes Around Comes Around
"AHHHHH!" Regina flew up from her pillow, her hands gripping onto her temples, tears already rolling down her cheeks before she could even process that she was waking from another nightmare. The dark figure still haunting her even after she opened her eyes, she screamed for it to go away, or show itself, or both. She could feel the pounding headache already starting, splitting open her forehead. The pressure behind her temples was more intense than it had ever been. Worse than last night. And the night before. And the night before that.
Emma came bursting through the bedroom door, naturally out of breath from running up the stairs, and found Regina curled in a ball, crying in her pillow. She slid herself behind the crying woman and wrapped her arms tightly around her. She felt a hand grip her arm and squeeze tight. Regina's soft sobs shook Emma's body slightly as she held on as tight as she could.
"Shh. Shh. It was just a dream. It's over. I'm here." It was all Emma could do not to lose it herself. Her Love was crying in her arms over something she had no control over. It was something they couldn't face together, just as she felt with everything they had been through with all of this. Regina was alone. And Emma was helpless.
When Emma's feet hit the cold, hardwood floor at the bottom of the stairs, she stood there for a moment staring at the open living room. She had managed to get Regina in the shower, hoping it could wash away the night and she would feel better, but in the meantime she was going to try and throw together a breakfast in hopes that today Regina might feel like eating, even though Regina never ate much if at all after waking up from her nightmares. They had been consistent since the week she came home from the hospital, and if Regina kept on like this, Emma was worried she would have to check her back into the hospital if only to get her to eat. Even though she hadn't seen the scale with her own eyes, she saw Regina's cheeks sinking in, her collarbones more prudent on her chest, and her clothes fitting ever so slightly looser than normal. It scared Emma.
The living room was so full of things, yet empty of everything. Emma felt like she was searching for something in there when she would stop to process. Answers? A sign that this really couldn't be all that was left for them. Every time something had gotten better, it got worse all the same. What could possibly go wrong next?
The doorbell rang through Emma's thoughts and she quickly glanced at the clock up on the wall. 7:30 am on a Saturday? She tied her robe around her waist and tiptoed over to the door. Peeking through the side window, she saw Sheriff Graham standing on her porch, his tan uniforms neatly pressed in all the right places, and his boots shiny from a new coat of polish he must have applied recently. His heavy fist pounded on the door again, more insistently this time, startling her.
"Emma, it's Graham." His hoolar muffled through the heavy wooden door.
Emma quickly opened the door for him, and without a skip in his step he entered the house, taking his hat off as any gentleman would when entering a building.
Confused, Emma shut the door behind him. "Um, yeah, sure. Come on in." Emma said sarcastically as she followed him into the kitchen. He paced back and forth between the island and the dining room table, his boots thumping on the dark hardwood floor. "Well, good morning to you too. Can I get you some coffee?" She said stepping into the kitchen past him and heading to the coffee maker which she had abandoned just earlier when she heard Regina screaming upstairs.
He squeezed the rim of his hat nervously.
Emma poured her coffee and sat down at the opposite end of the island from him, staring at his intently looking eyes, realizing that whatever he needed was not going to come out voluntarily. "Okay, you're freaking me out. What is going on?" She finally asked him.
Graham took a hesitant step toward her, clearing his throat, his lips thinly stretched across his face. Graham had invited himself in to talk to her about other things in the past but he was never this hesitant to talk. "Graham. Sit down." She motioned for the island chair across from her. "Talk to me."
He started. "I know you don't want to hear this, Emma, but I came over as soon as I found out." She stared at him awkwardly. Her coffee steaming as it sat untouched on the marble counter in front of her. She picked it up patiently, smelling the aroma. "I had a officer visit me from the base, and… he said that they aren't going to charge Daniel with anything as a result of the accident." Graham bit his lip, and wiped a bead of sweat that had escaped his well gelled hair line.
The edge of the Emma's coffee cup froze just shy of her lips. The steam tickled her nose and sent goosebumps down the back of her neck. She stared straight ahead, passed Graham, and passed anything in particular. Her muscles were frozen. Her brain was running a million miles an hour.
She gently set the coffee cup down on the island, it's base making a soft click as it hit the marble counter. The black coffee inside was untouched, other than a gentle ripple that waved back and forth from the center to the rim and back. She could hear Graham breathing, the clock ticking, the water from the sink dribbling, a bird right outside the kitchen window chirped, and the water trickling through the walls from Regina's shower. Every sound and feeling suddenly became more intense. It was overwhelming and caused the hair to stand up all over her body.
"I thought you should hear it from me. I didn't want you to hear it from others in town, however I also have more bad news." Graham made his way to her and sat down gently, laying his hat on the marble counter next to Emma.
"Unfortunately, due to what happened at my office a couple weeks ago, the military has issued a restraining order… against you." He was unsure of Emma's strange calmness or even if he was hearing her. He placed a hand on her shoulder, but still nothing.
"Emma, are you hearing me?" ]He tried again, his grip tightening on her shoulder.
His voice was like an echo to Emma, like she was in a dream. That could be the only explanation for all of this.
"Graham." She looked down at her coffee cup. He inched closer to her.
"I'm sorry, Emma. I did everything I could to not allow it but, I don't have that kind of influence at the base. When they want something, they get it. There was nothing I could do." He tried to explain.
Emma's heart pounded in her chest and it felt like it was sinking into her stomach. A heat from inside her rose to her cheeks and they began to flush, her hands turned clammy. "How long?" She stated plainly. She still hadn't moved from her seat.
Graham shifted uncomfortably. "How long what?" He asked.
"How long has he been out?" Her voice was low and demanding.
"Since early July, I think." Graham hung his head down and stared at his hat.
Emma smirked and suddenly stood up from her chair. She took the coffee cup from the counter to the sink and proceeded to pour her coffee down the drain seeing as she had completely lost her appetite for anything.
"Emma, I'm sorry. I didn't come over here to make you upset. I just thought you had the right to know." He rose from his chair alongside her.
"Stop talking, Graham." Emma braced herself above the sink. Her eyes now burning with anger. Graham cleared his throat nervously. He'd obviously seen her lose it, but this odd calmness was new and Graham didn't know how to handle it. "I need you to leave." Emma turned away from him and around the opposite side of the island and out of the kitchen without even glancing over at Graham. Her robe picking up behind her heels.
Graham followed her in haste. "Emma, please." He urged. "Don't shut me out now. I just need you to look after Regina until I can get things…"
She spun around suddenly. Her sudden outburst echoing around the walls of their foyer. "What do you think I've been doing these last months?" She lashed out. "Just sitting here in my perfect little house with my perfect little life like shit hasn't been raining down ever since that sorry excuse for a man came back into my life. Don't tell me what I need to do. I've been dealing with this shit for too long and I swear on everything good left in this world, that if I ever see him around my family, I will kill him myself." Emma's voice grew deep in anger as she spit out the last words. She spun back around toward the open door and motioned him to leave.
Graham cleared his throat, swallowing his pride, and placed his hat back on his head as he stepped up to the opening of the door. He stopped and turned his head just slightly. "I'll call you if anything changes."
"Great." Emma swung the door shut when Graham was safely through the threshold and onto the porch. The rush of air blowing up her robe and chilling her legs. She listened as his boots receded down the path to the street. She fought her tears as much as she could but it was no use. Her forehead fell heavily on the door as the angry tears burned at her eyes. Of all the things Daniel has taken from her, the nerve he had to continue to torture her.
"Mom?" Henry came sleepily down the stairs and Emma quickly hid her tears.
"Hey kid. How did you sleep?" She asked normally, hoping that his sleepiness would hinder him from noticing her being upset.
He looked at her puzzled. He was so grown up, turning into such a handsome man that Emma knew that it wouldn't be long before he had a girlfriend. He was almost 15, and as much as she tried to hide it, he was not ignorant of what was going on. He knew when something was wrong. He could always see right through her.
"Is it Daniel?" He asked. Emma's eyes shot up to him. She never wanted this burden to be on his shoulders. She wanted him to have a normal life despite the chaos but in that moment, she realized that that would never be the case.
"Oh, baby." She reached out and pulled him close to her. His hair still wet from his shower, and she felt like he was suddenly five years old again and she was hugging him as tightly as she could, knowing that nothing could ever come between them.
"Mom?"
She let him out of the hug, but kept him at arms distance, her fingers gently caressing his smooth cheek.
"I want to help." He stated innocently.
"I know, baby!" She instinctively pulled him in again, this time with a quick hug and then decided that this self pity party needed to end. "Okay!" She let him ago. "Are you hungry?" She sniffled and headed for the fridge, pulling out eggs and a can of biscuits.
He yawned and followed her, plopping down in his usual chair at the island. She poured him a glass of orange juice and without another word, Emma made him breakfast and they ate together.
Regina never made it down to eat but that was okay. Emma didn't expect her, though she missed her terribly. Emma could imagine her getting out of the shower, the water dripping down her and with her hair still wet, climbing back into bed with a fresh set of pajamas and pulling the smooth comforter up and over her shoulders. Soon Emma would have to climb those stairs and wake her up for her appointment with Dr. Hopper, but for now she liked the thought of her possibly getting some good rest for once.
Regina's leg would not stop bouncing. Her nails had been chewed to the quick and the Advil that she took that morning to soothe her headache had completely worn off. Dr. Hopper's office seemed brighter than it had in the past, which only fed her migraine. His silence while reading her slightly personal journal didn't help either, and the occasional "hmm" added to her stress level that was already through the roof.
This was Regina's typical Saturday. Emma had dropped her off at exactly 10 oclock this morning for her 10:15 appointment that she had scheduled for every week. It wasn't exactly her favorite part of the week, and up until recently she thought she might have been making progress, but her nightmares came all the same, as did everything else that followed.
More nervous than ever, Regina impatiently waited for Dr. Hopper to start asking questions. It seemed as if today he was taking much more thought to her scribblings as he usually did. Maybe he was feeling the pressure of making very little progress with her as well. As time ticked away, she became increasingly uncomfortable and just as she was about to open her mouth to speak, he interrupted her.
"And you don't remember writing any of this?" He looked up at her over his glasses that perched perfectly on the tip of his nose.
Regina bit her lip and picked at the raw skin around her jagged nails. "No." She shook her head. "I just wake up and there is more in there. I don't remember waking up to write it or anything."
"And you're sure that no one else in the house might be writing in this?" Dr. Hopper asked.
Regina's eyebrows pushed together and she shook her head. "Of course not. Emma would never do such a thing." She defended.
Dr. Hopper smiled and set the journal down on the coffee table between him and Regina. "I am sorry, I did not mean for that question to upset you. I am only trying to understand the situation we have found ourselves in. It's not often this sort of thing comes through my office. I want to make sure we have covered all possibilities, and we are sure of the situation we have here."
Regina shifted nervously on the couch, her knee still going a million miles an hour. "And what situation would that be?" She pushed her skirt down over her knee to keep it from bouncing. It worked for only a moment.
Dr. Hopper sat up in his chair and took his glasses off the tip of his nose. She could see the exhaustion behind his eyes as he rubbed them. She couldn't imagine the stress of being the only psychiatrist in one town, dealing with every problem that walked in his office alone, and then having to live in the world with the same people, hiding their secrets, pretending that everything was normal.
He placed the glasses back on his nose and explained. "The mind is the most interesting thing about the human body. Not just the brain itself, you see, but the mind that is like the driving mechanism inside the brain. All the science in the world and we still can't seem to crack how much the mind is actually responsible for. Does it control or does it react? Is it observant or interactive? We can never seem to pinpoint exactly how in control it is." He looked up and Regina. She was confused.
"I'm sorry, I don't believe I follow." Regina admitted.
"No, I apologize. I am rambling. From what I can see here, it seems that you know more than you realize you know. If that makes sense. It's not that you can't remember what happened in the accident, but that your mind will not allow you to remember, or it's decided to protect you from something. So what we need to do is find out how to channel that part of your mind." Dr. Hopper stood up and quickly walked to his desk, sifting through some papers that were scattered about.
Regina swallowed nervously. Did she really want to know everything that was trapped away in her "mind"? Was she ready to know all of what happened?
Dr. Hopper came back to the couch and sat next to Regina this time. He held up what looked like a very old watch on a long gold chain. It swung slightly back and forth in front of her face.
"Hypnosis." Dr. Hopper explained.
Regina quickly rose from the couch and away from him. "Dr. Hopper, we talked about this already. I'm not comfortable with the dream theory."
He quickly followed suit. "Regina, listen. I know we already talked about this and you did not agree to the dream analysis and that's fine. But, something is happening inside that needs to be released."
She shook her head, but he continued to try and convince her.
"Don't you want to know?" He urged her.
She stopped. "Maybe I don't."
Hopper sighed but truly did not want to admit defeat. "It has been the only proven way to get to those dark recesses of your mind that we cannot access normally." He reached over for the journal and held it up. Regina's eyes bounced between the objects. "I can get all of this out. If you trust me." He put the objects down and could tell in Regina's silence that she was hard to convince. "Regina." She looked up at him, tears welling up behind her eyes. "I know this is scary. And I know you feel alone. But we can work through this together. We can get this all straightened out."
"But…" Regina started as she wiped a tear from her cheek. "What if… it's not better." She admitted, wiping a tear now from the opposite cheek.
He looked at her puzzled, his glasses slipping down his nose.
"What if what's in there isn't better than what I know now?" She clarified.
The question threw Dr. Hopper for a loop. He was used to people wanting to find information to help them clear up their lives or make them feel better. He had never experienced someone who wanted to keep it hidden. "Regina, this is all for you. I can only help you if you want the help. If this is not something you are comfortable with or that you don't want to continue, all you have to do is say the word. I can't force you to search for the truth."
Regina took a deep breath. Dr. Hopper respectfully kept his distance from her, allowing her to process the session. "Thank you, Dr. Hopper." She made her way toward the door.
"Regina, wait." He outstretched the journal to her that was still in his hands. "Please. You need this more than I do."
Regina hesitated. After a moment she took the journal and stuck it down in her purse. "Good day." She stepped out the door, quickly shutting it behind her before Dr. Hopper could say anything else. She stood at the threshold for a moment, breathing in the musty air of the office lobby. She could hear the music Dr. Hopper's secretary was listening to through the headphones in the girl's ears, who hadn't even looked up at her as she exited the door, probably unaware entirely that Regina was even standing there. Regina was exhausted. Clearly whatever was happening in the middle of the night that was causing the nightmares was wearing on her. What she needed right now was a hot cup of coffee and a large dose of reality.
As Regina took a generous sip of Granny's famous cinnamon spice latte, she tried to clear her mind and be in the moment. As she watched others drift in and out she listened to there normal conversations as they went about their normal routines. Oh, how she wished she had a normal routine. The journal Dr. Hopper had given her was sitting next to her on the table, closed, but wanting to be open, wanting to spill it's secrets. She considered reading it for the hundredth time, burning it, throwing it into the bay, or just leaving it somewhere for someone else to find, but none of those options seemed satisfying enough. Anyway she sliced it, she just wanted to forget. Life outside of her nightmares she felt should have been getting better, and in some for or fashion it was. Her and Emma had been making progress in their relationship, Henry was doing well in school, and it was almost like everyone had forgotten all about what happened. Except for her. Except for that little black book.
As Regina continued to sip at her coffee, a man slipped by her in her booth and situated himself a few tables away. She hadn't noticed him enter the diner, and he didn't seem to pay any attention to her either, but somehow she felt a weird connection, like something was telling her that she knew him. He was taller than average, well built as his black shirt was fit snug around his arms and nicely formed chest. His hair was scruffy and unkempt but he did have the perfect salt and pepper shade of five o'clock shadow covering his cheeks and chin. She found him quite handsome. Still also quite familiar but couldn't place him.
"Can I get you something, sir?" The red headed waitress met him at his table.
"Cup of coffee, please." His voice seemed a little hesitant, but as soon as she heard his voice she remembered. He was the guy from the 4th of July festival. She racked her brain for what had happened that night. It was the night she remembered everything and ended up back in the hospital. I guess that left her fuzzy of what happened before then, but now she vaguely remembered them speaking. She couldn't remember what they spoke about though.
"Another latte for you, Ms. Mills?" Granny broke her view of the man and Regina flinched at the unexpected question.
Regina smiled politely. "Um, no. Thank you, it was delicious." She handed her empty cup to Granny.
"Suit yourself." Granny shrugged her shoulders and started away to the next table but didn't get far before Regina stopped her.
"Actually, can you tell me who that man is there? He looks familiar and I believe we have spoken before but I can't place his name." She leaned around Granny slightly pointing at the man.
Granny glanced back at him, her eyes growing large and dark, and then cleared her throat nervously. Regina noticed.
"Um, he isn't a regular." Granny lied. "Haven't seen him here before. Must be just passing through. We get a lot of those these days." Granny spoke with haste and pulled out a napkin, patting a nervous sweat that had appeared on her brow.
Regina raised an eyebrow at her sudden uncomfortable demeanor. She eyed the man again and then back at Granny who seemed eager to end the conversation.
"I wouldn't worry yourself about it. He'll be gone by tomorrow I'm sure. Are you sure you wouldn't like another latte? Maybe an extra one to take home to Emma? I know how she loves my lattes!" Granny winked and stepped slightly to the right, just in Regina's view of the man. Regina blinked a few times and looked up and Granny quizzically. There was something not right here.
"No. I'm fine. I guess I better go. Emma will be wondering where I am." Regina checked her watch. Quarter past 3, she was usually home by noon. Emma had notified her that morning that she had a surprise for her after she got home, and suddenly felt awful at how late she had been out.
"That's fine, dear. Tell Emma I said hello , won't you?" Granny smiled unnaturally huge and quickly headed off toward the kitchen. Regina gathered her things and headed to the counter where the red headed girl was sorting through recipes and paid her bill. When she looked back to the table, the man was gone. A weird suspense fell on her. She hadn't heard nor seen him leave? She hadn't heard the bell ring, and she could see the cash laid out on the table, his coffee cup only half empty.
When she exited the diner, she noticed that the bell was indeed working and she should have heard it if the man had left. She looked around the area, thinking that he couldn't have gone far, but there was no sign of him. What a strange thing.
A honking horn quickly snapped her out of her thoughts and Emma pulled up to the curb next to her in her car and jumped out.
"There you are!" She exclaimed and planted a kiss on her forehead. "I called Hopper when you didn't come home and he told me you left. I've been driving around like crazy trying to find you!" Emma said hastily.
Regina felt awful. "I'm so sorry. We had a rough session and I lost track of time. I'm alright though, I've been here at Granny's just trying to clear my head."
Emma looked at her concerned. "It's alright. I'm just glad you are okay!" She pulled her coat off and draped it over Regina's shoulders as a cold breeze caused Regina to shiver. Emma noticed the lost look in her eyes as Regina unknowingly looked around them like she was looking for something in particular.
"Is everything okay?" Emma asked her.
Regina's attention drifted back toward Emma. "I'm sorry. Yes, I promise. I'm just tired. Will you take me home?"
"Of course!" Emma helped Regina into the car and they rode in silence back to the house. Emma was extremely worried. After news of Daniel being back and Regina not quite herself, Emma was truly a wreck. She constantly worried about Regina being out in town alone. God forbid Daniel even try to speak to her. She couldn't imagine him even trying after everything, and from what Emma could gather from their conversations, Daniel was one of the few things Regina still couldn't remember, and secretly that made Emma feel at ease. But also like she was carrying around a secret from Regina and that did not feel good. Either way, Emma knew something was not right, and she hoped that soon she would be able to figure it out.