Ten

October 9, 2016 – The New MacBook, Is it Worth It? Answer: No.

"Hello, interwebs! This is Tony Stark and above all else, I am an engineer. Today, we have an enemy in our midst." Tony exaggeratedly sneered. "We have the MacBook Pro released this year. And we're going to see what the Apple fanboys have to squawk about, which I think, is nothing."

Tony pulled out a computer with the iconic Apple logo on it and turned it on and made the start up noise.

"Ooh, noise! That alone is worth the $2399 price tag." Tony rolled his eyes. "So, let us dive in. MacBook's are preferred by businesspeople, students, designers, you get it. Students love the portability, the lightness to carry to class. Businesspeople love the battery life, which I don't give Apple the credit, I credit the R&D people who made that happen…And the artsy fartsy people love the Mac's, you know, the big guys that cost a kidney."

"But this specific model – the reviews are meh. And I agree. Macbook's have a decent battery life, great displays and the like but everything else kind of sucks." Tony turned the laptop around, showing the keyboard and mouse. "The trackpad is very big and responsive…which is good…The speakers are alright…Not great, especially if you use bootcamp, which makes them defective. The keyboard is their butterfly switches, which you either like or you don't. It is their second generation – the keys need a very precise key strong and requires some adjustment in combination with shallow travel. And they don't have a number pad. You have to pay extra for that. But that's Apple for ya."

"There are four Thunderbolt 3 ports – which are well made and needed. But there are no HDMI or USB-C ports – which means you need to spend more money on adaptors and sometimes they won't work properly, inhibiting your performance, as per Apple's usual." Tony sighed. "Fans are okayyy…I guess – they are audible even when idling, which is annoying."

"Something that is new to this laptop is the touch id bar. Something Apple has been including is authentication with your fingertip for some apps that have sensitive information and the like. Now, I think they should have been doing that all along, like SI but whatever. The touch id bar is included on the laptops so you can authenticate on the laptop as well as the phone." Tony shrugged.

"Now, I don't like hate hate Apple but they're hinky. The offer laptops at a huge cost and not a lot of benefit is available to the consumer. They're light but you need a whole different, often expensive, set of software other than the Microsoft ones – I mean, yeah, avoid monopoly blah blah blah but for students? Who barely have any money as it is? To need to buy Mac software is kind of annoying and some programs you can't even use on Mac – they're Windows only, like Access, for example."

"Another thing is the power of these computers. This laptop? Terrible at gaming or any other program that uses a lot of power. Macs are like anti-gaming, unless you're playing Mahjong or something like that. Which, lame. A great stress game to test laptops is Overwatch – which is unplayable on this anyways. It's so thin and breakable that they left out some significant power, gaming cards, memory, etc. all to make room for the battery and basic operating power. Pitiful."

"Now onto the best part in my opinion of this video." Tony knelt beneath the table and produced a hammer. He then slammed it into the top of the laptop. "This is the force in which it will hit the ground if dropped. Let's see the damage." He opened the screen and saw it cracked and a couple keys popped off. "Shameful. That's what you pay for."

Tony set the hammer down next to the laptop.

"Now, final thoughts. Is it worth the price tag?" Tony folded his arms. "Absolutely not."

"Welcome to the show, Tony." Ellen beamed as he sat down in the chair opposite of her.

"Hello, Ellen. Hello, everyone." He waved at the crowd, who cheered loudly.

"They love you." Ellen smiled at him.

He shrugged. "I guess they do."

"You seem surprised."

"I kind of am…" He trailed off. "My father and his associates always paraded me in front of the media and they said a lot of cruel things, things that should be said about a child, no matter how famous they are."

"People are cruel."

"They are. But the reception of my YouTube channel has been relatively good."

"I'd say! You got the Artificial Intelligence statute turned over!" Ellen said, excitedly.

"I cannot believe that…It was something I advocated for but I was just some rich guy who wanted to keep his toys but when they, or rather the public, learned about the science behind the AI, they saw what I was trying to get them to see the whole time."

"It's awesome. Are you scheduling any upgrades to your AI, FRIDAY? What does FRIDAY stand for anyways?"

"Yes, I am scheduling some upgrades for her, she is in desperate need. And what's more I could have her have the reach that JARVIS did, access to my phone, etc… She wasn't allowed to do that before, per the Accords Council. FRIDAY stands for Female Replacement Intelligence Digital Assistant Youth – she has an Irish voice programmed into her and preliminary objectives of assisting me in my job as Director of R&D and CTO of SI and as Iron Man. She has outstanding objectives of protecting me from her processor JARVIS."

"And she likes Soccer."

"And she likes Soccer. I can't believe that…" Tony said, disbelieving.

"So, how do AI's become to have personalities, like FRIDAY?"

Tony took a sip of coffee from his cup on the coffee table before setting it back down.

"Well…Artificial Intelligence in and of itself is an evolving, learning process. We can give it an accent, primary directives, the like but ultimately it possesses its own morals, its own code, if you will, that it bases its decisions on. The morals are usually fact based. JARVIS and FRIDAY, both use evidence from experiments to make their decisions, but they usually have me approve it if it is a big decision."

"So, let's talk ULTRON…"

"Oh, boy. Big topic."

"He was evil."

"He…was and wasn't."

"What do you mean?"

"The code was sound, even if it was never supposed to activate… But the conclusion he came to was evil. He thought that humanity was the reason for all the hate, war and bloodshed here. Which, okay, valid point, but not all humans are awful – you can't just eradicate all humankind because of a few. But he was strong and we had a tough time trying to stop him."

"And Vision came after and stopped him."

"Yes, he's technically an android, not an AI but he was infused with JARVIS to create a new identity. He merged with some ULTRON code, some JARVIS, some science cradle mumbo jumbo to give him a body and Thor used his thunder powers to bring him to life."

"And he's…red."

"Yes." Tony laughed. "His skin is red with silver but he can change the color of his skin to a pale, Caucasian skin tone."

"What is he like?"

"Well, he likes to read. He feels a connection with the Scarlet Witch, which is most likely romantic, and he likes to cook. He's not good at it but he likes it."

"Romance in the air, huh?" Ellen leaned forward. "Any other romances in the air? Are you getting back together with Miss Potts?"

"No." He laughed. "I think we can agree that we are better as friends."

"Then are you seeing anyone?"

He looked at the camera and smirked.

"Maybe."

"Well, that's all the time we have, Tony. Thank you for that tease at the end."

"No problem."

"Check out Tony Stark on his YouTube channel, he uploads every week! Thank you for coming and talking with me today."

"Oh, anytime." Tony smiled genuinely.

IamThumper: I am a Tony STANNN

JackInTheBeanstalk: Scarlet Witch and Vision? So weird, but oddly makes sense…

BeautyQueen223: She shouldn't be allowed to find happiness at all! She should be burned at the stake!

JackInTheBeanstalk: BeautyQueen223 uh, that's a little harsh.

Tony's phone vibrated.

YOU WENT ON ELLEN!?

He laughed to himself as he went to answer the SpiderKid.