Tony adjusted his tote bag hanging off his shoulder. His 'quick shop', while Ziva had been at therapy, had involved a detour to the chemist. There was a virus in Asia, and Tony wanted to make sure that their little family had enough to survive isolation, if one of the many tourists who visited the city of love brought an unwelcome guest.
He never worried about this stuff before Tali was in his life.
Now he worried too much. Ziva had reminded him that they just had to be a little more vigilant about washing their hands, but Tony had gone whole hog. He had masks for each member of their little family, and enough hand sanitizer to survive the apocalypse.
He had to protect his family.
Good fathers protected their family.
He checked the time on his phone, and watched as people emerged from the metro station.
The first person, a young man, who was clearly a native Parisian in his impeccable outfit. Behind him, there was a clump of business people wearing suits and etched in frowns. Then a group of backpackers stepped out, and looked around with huge smiles on their faces.
Tony had been in this city for three years now and there were still rare times where he was awed by the beauty of the city. Most of the time, when he emerged from the metro, he was just glad the trip was over, and that Tali hadn't freaked out in the crowd.
The group of backpackers huddled together blocking the metro entrance. Tony tried to guess the language they were speaking, but could not put a country to the Slavic sounds.
An old lady with a walking stick, and a shopping trolley that she pulled along like a suitcase, started to shout at them, and the tourists moved slightly.
Then he saw her.
Ziva walked out of the metro, with her curls hanging over her shoulders, and cradling a bunch of flowers like a baby. The bright yellow flowers peaked out from their paper blanket.
He watched as she took a deep breath. Sometimes the metro made her anxiety spike, but she pushed through.
Their eyes met, and a smile washed over Ziva's face.
Tony walked forward, and once Ziva was close enough, he placed a kiss on her lips.
The kiss caught her by surprise, but she kissed back. His arm snaked around her waist. She started to loosen up.
"What was that for?" Ziva asked, as the kiss broke, and she looked up at him. He noticed the tear streaks down her face.
The flowers had been squashed by their embrace, but Ziva did not seem to care.
"We're in Paris," Tony said softly. "If a guy can't kiss his girl when she gets off the train in Paris, where can he?"
"So I am your girl?" Ziva asked.
"Are we really gonna have that conversation?" Tony asked. "We have a five and a half year old."
"Yes we do," Ziva said with a smile. "But, we did not exactly do that in the most conventional way."
At pick-up the other day, one of the more nosy parents had fished for information under the guise of inviting Tali to a birthday party.
That woman, the woman had asked, can we give her the invitation.
Tali's mother, Tony had replied as he watched for Tali. Sure you can ask her, her name is Ziva.
"No," Tony said. "But, I love you. I've loved you for a very long time. We're finally raising our kid together."
Ziva smiled.
Since Ziva had come home, the focus had rightfully been on Tali. Now, the little family were starting to fall into a routine. Tali spent time with her parents together, and Tali spent time with each of them apart.
Senior was due to join them for an extended visit at the end of the month, and Tony hoped that he and Ziva might be able some time out for themselves. Preferably an evening, because Tony wanted to do something that he and Ziva had never officially done in all the time they had known each other.
He wanted to take her on a date.
He wanted to take her on the best date ever.
"I still refer to you as my partner," Ziva admitted. "Though I suppose the definition of partner has evolved over time."
"It certainly has," Tony replied.
A gang of youths, that looked like they walked out of a Nike catalogue walked up the steps of the metro, and Tony realised another train had come. He slowly guided Ziva away from the entrance.
They still had forty minutes until Tali's school let out.
"How was today?" Tony asked, as he took Ziva's hand, they slowly started to walk in the direction of Tali's school.
"Tough," Ziva admitted, as she looked down at the flowers. "But, I knew it would be."
Ziva's therapy sessions were currently twice a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She was always a little raw after them. He knew enough to tread carefully. Ziva had years of trauma to unpack.
He also could see that the sessions were helpful. Ziva seemed lighter, and was starting to sleep better. The anti-anxiety medication had started to kick in, and while Ziva did not enjoy the side effects, she was less on edge.
"Is that why you brought the flowers?" he asked.
Ziva's footfall slowed. She looked down at the yellow buds. They contrasted so greatly with the grey sky.
"Yes," Ziva admitted. "I needed something bright. A reminder that spring is coming."
"They're pretty," Tony said. "Tali will like them, yellow is her third favourite colour. Do we have a vase?"
"Yes," Ziva said softly. "I found one when I organised the kitchen."
While Tony had been skyping McGee, learning all about the younger man's impending vasectomy, Ziva had gone to town on the kitchen, finally organising it to her liking.
Tony would never admit it, but Ziva's organisation actually helped the tiny space, making getting Tali ready for school much easier.
It had been a week since Tali had freaked out when only Ziva turned up for pick-up, and the little family had developed a routine. Most days, Tali was dropped off and picked up by both her parents. On Wednesdays, Ziva picked Tali up, and they went to ballet, and Tony took some much needed time out. On Mondays, Tony did pick-up solo, because Tali had deemed it fair that she have one day with just Ima, and one day with just Daddy.
"Okay," Tony said, "We'll make sure to get them in some water."
They crossed the road quickly, and her hand slipped out of his.
"So how was your day?" Ziva asked, as they turned the corner.
Tony noticed the backpackers from earlier, standing in front of a cafe and shouting at each other in their native language.
"Good," Tony said, "I brought some supplies, checked in with McSnipped, and sent through the documents to the accountant."
The account who handled his US tax return would be bowled over by his punctuality this year.
"How is Tim?" Ziva asked.
"Sore," Tony replied. "But only a little, I think he's enjoying having a couple of days at home. He admits he was being a bit dramatic about the whole thing."
"I am surprised you are being so grown up about it," Ziva said. "You always used to give him so much grief about his personal life."
"I'm older now," Tony retorted. "More mature."
"Yes," Ziva said. "You have certainly changed."
"Besides, it sounds like that not-so-new-guy Nick stole all of my lines," Tony said.
"Nick is a good man," Ziva said. "He has just not realised it yet. He reminds me a little of a younger you."
Tony felt his cheeks burn.
She knew him so well.
"Sure," Tony said, brushing it off. "Anyway, he was only giving McScaredycat crap, because he's never spent three days stuck in an apartment with a sick two year old. No wonder Delilah was done, I do not even want to imagine having two sick kids at once."
Ziva stood still. Tony looked at her, and saw the familiar stricken look on her face.
Talking about the parts the other was not there for, would always be bittersweet.
"I take it our daughter is still dramatic when she is sick?" Ziva asked, as she looked down at her flowers.
"Oh yeah," Tony said, with a smirk. "Why do you think I brought half the pharmacy? If this virus from Asia ends up here, it's gonna be an all hands on deck situation."
"You know she gets this from you," Ziva said with a smile.
"She does not," Tony cried out, as he dramatically held his hand on his chest.
"You used to freak out over every mole," Ziva said, keeping her voice calm. "And, every time you so much as sneezed you would remind everyone that you had the plague once."
"I did have the plague," Tony said, "Besides, we can't all be like you and brush off a bullet wound like it's a paper cut."
Ziva did a sort of half laugh.
Tony felt a smile warm his own face.
It was good to joke like this. Like they used to when they were working crime scenes, or sitting in DC's endless traffic.
Things were finally starting to feel normal.
Ziva had been home just under a month, and they were finally finding their feet.
"No," Ziva said, as she looked down at the flowers again. "I never want Tali to think that is okay. I want her to always know how to treat herself kindly. To give herself a chance to heal."
Tony let out a deep breath.
The therapy session had definitely been a big one.
"She will," Tony said softly.
They turned another corner, and reached the row of shops that were closest to Tali's school. Tony recognised a group of nannies, standing and gossiping in front of the supermarket, while their younger charges napped in their strollers.
Tony knew many of these cafes intimately. During Tali's first few weeks at nursery, he had moved between them, wanting to be close enough to run to her, if she needed him.
He was all she had. He had to be close.
The old lady he had seen barrel out of the metro, was standing in front of one of the bakeries with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth.
"Shall we get some after school snacks?" Tony asked, as he looked through the window of his favourite patisserie.
Ziva rolled her eyes.
"We will do healthy snacks for the rest of the week," she countered.
Technically, there was only one more day left of the school week, but Tony felt it best not to remind Ziva of that.
Tony opened the door, and let Ziva into the bakery. The little bell chimed as they reached the nearly empty cabinet.
All that remained in the glass case was three chocolate croissants.
"It's fate," Tony stage whispered, as he pointed them out.
Ziva ordered the croissants in perfect French, and slipped them into her messenger bag. They would not be safe with Tony.
Quickly, they found themselves in the cool winter air with a bit of time to kill.
"I'm getting the vibe that today was a really tough session," he said, after a few quiet seconds.
They shuffled along, deciding to walk around the block, while they waited for school to finish.
"It was," Ziva said. "There were actually some things that came up today that I would like to talk to you about."
"That sounds ominous," Tony said, wishing he had the pastry to bite into.
"I want to make good on some promises I have made," Ziva said.
In Cairo, while Tali slept and the two of them had watched her. Ziva had promised him that she would explain all of it to him, when it was safe. Tony had made her promise she would come back.
We'll be in Paris, waiting for you, he had said as Tali started to stir.
"You came back," Tony said, as they turned the corner. "That's all the matters."
"I owe you an explanation about why I did not tell you about Tali straight away," Ziva replied. "I like to keep my promises."
Tony could see Tali's school from where they stood.
"Yeah," he said, his words little more than a whisper. "I'd like us to talk about it one day, but only when you're ready. Whatever you say, it won't change anything."
"How can you say that?" Ziva asked.
"I've made peace with what happened," Tony said. "We'll never be able to change it. Accept the things you cannot change, and all of that."
"I still think we should have the conversation," Ziva said. "Soon. Before, we get too ahead of ourselves."
"What do you mean by that?" he asked.
"My reasons for keeping Tali from you, they were selfish," Ziva said, "I know we have been becoming reacquainted lately. I do not want my reasons to impact that."
It took Tony a minute to understand what she said.
The surprise when he kissed her. The suggestion that had been made during their first few days together that Ziva get her own apartment. The promise Ziva had made, that whatever happened she would never come between Tony and Tali.
"Ziva," he said, "I've already forgiven you. I want us to talk about it, because we said we'd put everything out in the open, but whatever you tell me, it's not going to change us. I love you. We're doing this together for the rest of our lives."
Ziva looked down at her flowers.
"You have forgiven me?" she asked.
Tony nodded.
"Yeah," Tony said. "When Tali and I finally settled down here, Ducky sent me the details of a therapist. He thought I probably needed to talk to someone to make sense of everything. I only ever went to a few sessions, because I didn't have anyone that I could leave Tali with, and there was only so long she would sit in a corner and behave. We spent a lot of time hashing over why you didn't tell me. I came up with some crackpot theories."
The therapist office came back to him. Tali occupied by a tablet, even though Tony had read something about how screentime damaged kids. The therapist's suggestion that Tony find childcare.
Maybe she didn't think I'd be a good father, Tony had said as he soothed an exhausted Tali on his lap. Maybe, if Ziva hadn't had to go, I would have never found out about her.
"Anyway, the therapist kept reminding me that I couldn't change anything. You were gone. I'd never have answers." Tony said, his voice cracking. "I couldn't tell him you were alive, but even so as Tali and I got used to each other, I realised that the future mattered much more than the past. I let it go."
"I am here now," Ziva said. "I am ready to give you answers."
"Okay," Tony said. "I don't want to talk about it right now. We're about to pick Tali up."
"I do not want Tali to be around, when we talk about this," Ziva said softly.
"Okay," Tony said. "I'm glad we're on the same page about that."
Ziva frowned.
"My therapist thought we may like to have the conversation in her office," Ziva said, as they turned another corner.
"We don't need a referee," Tony said.
"No we do not," Ziva replied. "Perhaps we do need to make a date to have this conversation, to be prepared."
Tony ran his hand up, and through his hair.
"That's not the type of date, I want to take you on," Tony said.
"You want to take me on a date," Ziva replied. "We have a five and a half year old, I think we are past the point of dates."
"Dad'll be here at the end of next week," Tony said. "He's always happy to babysit. I think we deserve a date night. All the parenting books say it's important for parents to have date nights."
Ziva smiled. He wondered if she was working out that it would be their first official date.
"Shall we set a time to talk about the past?" Ziva asked. "So we can enjoy this date you want to go on."
"If Anthony DiNozzo is taking you on a date," Tony said softly. "I can guarantee you will enjoy it."
Ziva's face broke out into a smile.
"I am sure I will," Ziva said. "But, I would like us to have these hard conversations first. I can feel this thing hanging over us."
Tony frowned.
"Yeah," he admitted, as they turned onto the street they had started on. "Me too."
"I thought the conversation would happen organically," Ziva said. "But, that does not seem to be the case. I think we both need to be prepared to go there."
Tony knew what she was saying. Now that Tali slept in her own bed four days out of five, Ziva tried to talk about things when they lay down to go to sleep. Ziva had started to tell him parts of the story. He knew what happened to Adam. He knew that Odette was something straight out of a spy novel. He had it confirmed that Ziva watched them sometimes.
But, Ziva had told those stories with the same neutral tone, she used to use when she reported on cases.
Tony had told a few stories of his own. That time he took Tali to a trampoline park. That time Tali had an epic tantrum in the ice cream store. That time Tali said 'to infinity and beyond' when Tony asked her where she was going, and Tony decided it was the proudest he would ever be as a parent.
Their stories were always about the easy stuff, and the too hard basket was full to the brim.
They needed to start taking things out of it before it spilled over, and caused chaos.
"You're right," he said. "I don't want to do it tomorrow. It's probably gonna bring up some stuff. I don't want to bring a bad vibe into the weekend. Tali picks up on that stuff."
"We cannot avoid it forever," Ziva said.
"I know," he said. A part of him wanted to. He wanted to put it all away, and move forward, bringing up the pain would only bring heartache.
"Are you ready to talk about this?" she asked. "It can wait, if you are not ready."
"Yeah, well sort of," he said. "But, we've got to pull the band-aid off."
They needed to properly heal, even if it hurt in the short term.
"Shall we see how things are next week?" Ziva finally asked. "I will leave the ball in your street."
The house of cards needed to topple over so they could build something with decent foundations.
He knew that, but it didn't mean he wasn't scared.
There was so much to make sense of.
"Court," Tony corrected, as they reached the gates of Tali's school. "We'll talk soon. I just need to get my head on straight first."
Ziva placed her hand in his.
"Whatever happens," Ziva said. "We will get through it together. Always together."
"That's my line," came Tony's reply, as the school bell rang.
It didn't matter who said it, the line was their mantra.
Whatever happened, they'd get through it together, always.
A/N: I don't own a thing.
It's a long weekend where I live, so y'all are getting this one early.
Filler chapter is filler. I don't love this chapter, but I felt that the fic needed a chapter before Ziva starts telling him about why he was not told about Tali when Ziva first knew she was pregnant. Our boy doesn't want to rock the boat, and undo all the shallow healing he's done.
It's weird writing about a fic a couple of months behind real time. The virus Tony mentions is indeed Coronavirus, and this chapter is set on the third Thursday of January 2020. Once we have the big conversation, future chapters will be more spread out in terms of time.
The fic is going to be loosely following canon hence the mention of the McSnip, and Ziva being nice about Nick.
Next chapter will be the big one, Ziva will tell Tony why he was not told about Tali straight away. Then we'll have some lighter chapters after that.