Eighteen
December 12, 2016 – Testing Asus Gaming Computer
"Hello everyone, my name is Tony Stark and above all else, I am an engineer. Now, today we have the Asus ROG G751JT gaming laptop. Today, we are going to put it through its paces with a tournament of Overwatch! Now, I have with me, the one the only..." Tony drumrolled his fingers.
"Ugh, Mr. Stark, could you not?" Peter whined.
"Fine. Ruin my fun. By the way, why do you always talk like Regina George?"
"Because she's an icon." Peter responded
"What sexual orientation are you again?"
"One: Rude. And you should apologize. Two: I don't need labels."
"Fine. Sorry."
"Thank you." Peter said smugly.
"What computer do you have?"
"I have a desktop, ready for gaming." Peter replied. "Standard set up: compatible CPU and motherboard, CPU cooler, plenty of RAM, GPU and SSD with an extremely recent monitor, perfect keyboard and gaming mouse with rapid quick responses."
"Uh huh. And where did you learn how to do that?"
"The internet."
"Of course you did."
"Uh huh. I watch Linus Tech Tips." He beamed.
"Of course you do. Little Canadian twat."
"Language." Peter reprimanded. "Do you want me to tell Aunt May?"
"No." Tony grouched.
"Anyways, are you ready to play, old man?" Peter teased.
"Old? I'll show you old! This computer will decimate you!"
"Uh huh. I don't think so. I saw Linus' review on that and I think that's all I'll say."
"What? What did he say?"
"Oh, no. This will be much more fun to witness in person." Peter turned his attention to his screen, responding to some people, typing quickly.
"What is that?"
"Discord."
"What's discord?" Tony asked.
Peter tilted his head back and sighed heavily.
"Rude."
"You're such a dad, Mr. Stark." He shook his head.
"I, for a fact, know I am not a father."
"You act like one."
"Hmph. Whatever, let's play. Who's your main character that you like to play?"
"What, so you can steal them? No way. You'll find out when we get in a match."
"Hmph. Fine."
Peter joined with Tony, who had an external keyboard and mouse set up, using the screen on the laptop, something Peter thought was a bad idea but didn't say anything.
"Welcome to Havana." A feminine voice announced from both computers. Peter quickly selected his and let Tony flounder.
"Uh, so many options..."
"Ten seconds." Peter stated.
"Who's the hottest..." Tony asked himself.
"Ugh! These women are great assassins, not hot models! Pick one. You'll lose anyways."
"Don't be so sure..."
"Oh, I am." Peter promised.
"Widowmaker."
"She's my character for this match, yes."
"I'll choose...Mei."
"Interesting choice."
"I mean, I operate the Iron Man suit...how hard can it be?"
Five minutes later:
"Peter help!" Tony screamed.
"Get behind the shield!" Peter yelled back.
"You need to help me!"
"I can't!"
"My screen went black." Tony whispered.
"Told you that computer sucked. You're on your own. I'm finishing. Take that... Gotcha you little conniving..." Peter muttered under his breath. Tony just stared at Peter, before making eye contact with the camera, the sound of the mouse clicking, rapid clicking of the keyboard and Peter cussing under his breath.
"Overwatch Peter is scary." He whispered.
"YES!" Peter shouted, getting to his feet. "Player of the game!"
"Why couldn't you have warned me about my computer?"
"Eh, more fun this way."
"What a Slytherin move." Peter shrugged. "So tell me what you know about it."
"Asus - lower end model – newer coming out soon. Retail is around $700. Looks aesthetically pleasing, good keyboard, decent general performance, dedicated Steam shortcut key – game platform which is very popular – blu-ray writer and thunderbolt port and great value for what you get. Cons: heavy, bulky, inconsistent gaming performance, SSD is not offered as standard, poor battery life, no NVIDIA Optimus option and non-removable battery. AKA not recommended."
Tony looked impressed and looked at the camera.
"Well, there you have it. This laptop not recommended."